Pas de Deux Chapter 15

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Chapter 15   Time passes

About a week after her mother's funeral, we all got together at Jennifer and Michael French's home to discuss Kate's future. While Ben was anxious to spend as much time as possible with her, he also needed to go back to work. His mother, Jennifer spoke up first.

“Michael and I have discussed Kate's upbringing. As you know, Ben, we feel that we did a reasonable job of bringing up you and your brother, even though that was some time ago. To be honest with you, I always hoped to have a daughter too, but it didn't happen. Well now I have a granddaughter, and since Mike and I are now retired, we are happy and indeed would love to look after her on a day-to-day basis, while not in anyway taking over from you as her father. Maybe you need time to think about that?”

“No, Mum; I am very happy to accept your offer,” said Ben, and the look of relief on his face was obvious. “I was thinking that I might have to put her is some sort of creche while I went to work, and I really didn't like the idea at all.”

I was the next to speak. “Ben, we want to do everything we can to help with Kate's upbringing, while not in any way interfering with your decisions as her father. Perhaps we can make a financial contribution to her upbringing? We'd be very happy to do that and anything else you think we can do to help, like babysitting from time to time.”

“Please include us in helping financially,” said Marjorie White. She was after all, Kate's other grandmother. “We'll be too far away to do much else, but perhaps when she is grown up enough, she can come to Australia to see us.”

I could see tears glistening in Ben's eyes. “Thank you all so very, very much. I must confess I've been thinking about Kate's future and how I could cope as a single father as well as earn money to keep us both, and this really solves all my problems.”

“There's no need to thank us, son,” said Michael. “It will be our privilege and pleasure to do all we can for you and our granddaughter.”

“Hear, Hear!” was the general response.

Four years passed by. At the end of the third one, Dame Monique retired from her position as 'prima ballerina' in the company and I was appointed to replace her. It did not come as a complete surprise since Dame Monique herself told me I was in the running. I would have been content to be a principal dancer, but I did feel the same responsibility to the Company that Dame Monique had, and perhaps that is why I was chosen. As she had indicated to me, she still appeared in 'character' roles and I can tell you that I was acutely aware of her eyes on me especially when I was performing a solo! That said, she was always very complimentary.

Meanwhile, young Kate was growing up into a very pretty little girl. You may wonder why she was always called Kate when her full name was Angela Kate? Just one look at her made the reason obvious – she was the image of her late mother almost from the moment that she was born.

Because of young Kate, Ben continued to live with his parents. He was a wonderful father, but having them look after her while he went to work was the perfect solution. Evenings and weekends, he spent all his time with her, and nothing was ever a chore for him. As little Kate grew older I think he saw more and more of her mother in her, and I knew he still mourned for her. I worried about him. Even when he was smiling, I could see the pain still there in his eyes, and it took a long time to fade. An adult living with his parents doesn't have many opportunities for a close relationship with another adult, but that didn't seem to bother Ben. I don't think he ever expected to meet anyone as good as Kate again.

The years were very happy ones for Jack and me. We were quite well paid for doing something that we loved, so what's not to like about that? The sorrow that we felt about the death of Kate gradually eased as time went by. Her daughter Kate now being five was due to start school. This is where I stepped in with a suggestion to Ben. I told him that I had been very happy at Marion Ladies' College. You may recall that I had been fortunate to be accepted there when as a transgender teenager, it was difficult to find somewhere that would accept me. It was a private school, so fees had to be paid, but I assured Ben that Jack and I would be only too happy to defray all costs if he would like her to go there.

“I will trust your judgment,” he said. “Will I need to go for an interview?”

“I'm not sure,” I replied, “But as I'm an 'old girl' of the college, I'm sure that will count for something. I also discovered that my old headmistress, Miss Vera Nightingale is still there, although she will retire at the end of the year. I'm sure she still remembers me; she has a phenomenal memory.” I didn't mention about my picture on the wall as a 'notable old girl' as that would have seemed like boasting.

I made an appointment to see her, taking Kate along looking gorgeous in a very pretty dress. I went in to see Miss Nightingale first while Kate played with some dolls her secretary thoughtfully provided. I told Miss Nightingale about Kate and why I was there representing her father.

“I believe that she's a bright little girl,” I said. “I'm sure every parent tells you that about their children, but I really believe that she would benefit from attending this college; I know I did.”

Then I was invited to bring Kate in to meet Miss Nightingale, and she was very polite and said “How do you do, Miss Nightingale?” I saw Miss Nightingale's eyebrows rise slightly; not every little girl addressed her that way I'm sure. She skillfully interviewed Kate without making it obvious that was what she was doing, asking her a number of questions and seemingly pleased with her answers. At he conclusion, she said “Well, Kate, I hope you are going to enjoy coming to school at Marion College.” It seemed she had passed the test. I can tell you that Kate loved her time at Marion College, from the time she arrived as a five-year-old, to the time she finally left when she was School Captain.

I recall an amusing incident which happened that year. I've previously mentioned that the Company staged a season of 'The Nutcracker' ballet every Christmas, and some of the matinees were especially adapted for children, with a narrator to introduce each scene and the principal characters in it.

Kate's grandparents took her to one of these special performances. The theatre was full of little girls in their tutus, Kate included. I don't think there were any little boys, or if there were they were greatly outnumbered. I was playing the part of Clara's older sister Louise who appears with her boyfriend James (played by Jack) in the first act. Kal McBride played the Mouse King, and Charlotte de Tomas played the Dewdrop Fairy. As we were introduced to the audience, a young voice I knew well called out “Hello, Aunty Nette. Uncle Jack.” There was amused laughter from the audience. I think we all love how uninhibited young children are. I walked to the apron of the stage and called down “Hello Kate.” and followed up by saying to the audience “My husband Jack and I are Kate's godparents, and this is her first trip to the ballet.” Everyone applauded. I saw Kate's grandparents whispering to her and I think they must have told her it's not polite to talk during ballet, because I heard nothing more from her for the rest of the performance.

In the second act where Clara and the Nutcracker are taken in her dreams to the Garden of Delights, Jack and I appeared again, but this time as the Sugar Plum Fairy and her Cavalier. I performed the famous solo dance and also the beautiful pas de deux with Jack. The audience loves this ballet with its glorious music, and we received a standing ovation at the conclusion. Afterwards, once we had changed, we had tea with Jennifer, Michael and young Kate in a local cafe, before we returned to the theatre for the evening performance.

“Well, Kate, did you enjoy the ballet?” I asked her.

“Oh yes! I'm going to be a ballet dancer like you,” replied Kate.

“She's old enough to join the youngsters at a ballet school if she wants to,” I said to Jennifer and Michael. “Of course we will have to see what Ben says first. Meanwhile I'll find a recommended ballet school.”

I know that many little girls want to be ballet dancers, entranced by the colour, movement and music they see on stage, and knowing nothing of the hard work behind it. Only a tiny proportion actually go on to become professional dancers, but five isn't too young to start, and it is good exercise. Ben was happy for Kate to begin dancing, and I decided on the 'White Tutu Ballet School', still run by Giselle du Plessis, a retired dancer from the Company, where I had had my start. She still knew me of course, and said she had been following my career with interest.

“I read in the paper that you have been appointed 'Prima Ballerina' of the Company. That's a first for a graduate of my school,” she said. “Mind you, I could see your talent as soon as you came here.” I know I blushed. Some things never change.

She promised to teach Kate the basics, and I promised that I would not interfere; I didn't have time anyway.. Her pupils ranged in age from five to mid teens, and she had two other ex-professional dancers to assist her.

“We still have an annual ballet show in which all the pupils take part. If you have time, I'd love you to attend. I can usually see some girls and boys with potential even when they are quite young, and I'd love your opinion,” she said.

Both Jack and I were well versed in spotting talent, as we were among the principals who provided tuition at the annual Summer School.

During this period, the ballet had a short tour of western Russia, and I crossed an item off my 'bucket list', when I danced on the stage of the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow, in a season of 'Romeo and Juliet' with Jack. We had been told that we didn't need to bring along our own makeup artists and hairdressers, as the theatre had their own staff, and it was clear that the management felt that no import would be as good. So, as their guests, we went along with it, and to be honest they are excellent, as is their orchestra and all the backstage staff. We performed on the huge historic main stage. The dressing rooms are very close to the stage – in fact I could see it by looking out of the door, through the wings. This is the actual stage where Swan Lake premiered back in 1877.

We also performed in St Petersberg's Mariinsky theatre to great acclaim. Russian audiences are very knowledgeable about ballet, so it was pleasing to hear their enthusiastic applause after each performance and know that we had met their expectations. There was a review in 'Pravda', which we couldn't read of course. It was headed by a picture of Jack and me during the bedroom pas de deux. Igor, our minder translated it for us, and it was very complimentary.

None of us spoke Russian, a notoriously difficult language to learn, which is why we had a couple of bilingual 'minders' with us to smooth our paths. To further complicate things, the language is written in Cyrillic characters which are quite foreign to us. I did learn a few words as I find that this is always appreciated when you are in a foreign country. The main words I learned were: da (yes), nyet (no), pozhalusta (please), spaslbo (thank you) privet (hello). do svidaniya (goodbye). It's surprising how far you can go with just those few words. It's also fortunate that English is such a universal language, and we met a number of Russians who were only too ready to try out their English on us.

When we returned to England, Mummy informed me that our tour had been reported in some of the English newspapers and hailed as a great success, and she had cut out every article to go into my scrap books, a habit I first learned from Harriet Stow.

I haven't mentioned Harriet for a while. Since she spent a lot of time performing in Stratford, and I was based in London, we didn't get many chances to catch up, but when we did it was always a great pleasure to compare notes. Harriet was very kind and complimentary about my success in the ballet.

“Who knows, you may become a Dame yourself one day,” she said which made me blush of course and protest that it was very unlikely.

“Your predecessor did, and you are doing much the same things as her. I did manage to come down and see you in 'Romeo and Juliet' at a matinee, and then travel back to Stratford for an evening performance of the play I was in,” she said. “I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to catch up with you on that occasion. It is very interesting to me to see the story played out without a word being spoken, but all the drama and emotion was still there. You are an excellent actor as well as a dancer.”

“I find that the music carries me along,” I said. “It would be impossible not to get emotional with such heart-rending melodies, but it's necessary to keep my emotions in check. You would know that of course.”.

Harriet smiled. “Many's the time I shed real tears during the final scene of 'Romeo and Juliet'. It's my one regret that I'm now too old to play the part.”

One thing I learned about becoming moderately well known is that it's possible to get in an awkward situation through no fault of your own. It was approaching Christmas and Miss du Plessis had contacted me to ask if I could come along to the annual performance of the White Tutu Ballet School. It was an afternoon when I didn't have a matinee performance so I agreed. I also agreed that as a 'celebrity guest', I would hand out prizes. How easy it is to get oneself too involved.

It was an entertaining show, and reminded me of when I, as a teenager, had to lead the tiny tots in their tutus and wands around the stage, trying to make sure they all went in the same direction and didn't bump into each other. Now another teenager was doing exactly the same thing. I also watched out for emerging talent and made some surreptitious notes about a couple of the girls and one boy who seemed to have potential. At the conclusion of the concert, Miss du Plessis came up on the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I do hope you enjoyed the show. We have some prizes to present and I am thrilled to have a guest presenter today whom many of you will know, Miss Antonette du Pré, Prima Ballerina of the Imperial Ballet Company, and, I'm proud to say, a former pupil of this ballet school.”

There was applause as I walked onto the stage. I had really dressed up in anticipation, with a glamorous frock and heels, with my hair in a chignon, looking, I hope, every inch a star. Harriet had told me years previously that when you become well known, you must look the part whenever you are out amongst the public because they expect it. There was applause and then Miss du Plessis handed me the various prizes which I in turn handed to the dancers together with a 'Well done' or similar. All well and good, but then afterwards things got a little awkward, although I'm sure Miss du Plessis meant no harm.

'Antonette, I believe you are currently dancing in a ballet?” she asked.

“Yes, that's right, 'The Nutcracker',” I replied. “Our annual Christmas show.”

“That's a wonderful introduction to ballet for children isn't it, and what part are you playing?”

“I'm dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy.”

“That's a wonderful part. I do hope you get many people coming along to see you perform. I believe there are special matinees for young people with a narrator to tell the story?”

Oh dear, it was starting to sound like a setup to spruik the ballet to a captive audience.

“Yes, that's right. In fact I'll have to ask you to excuse me soon, as I have to go to the theatre now to get ready for tonight's performance,” I said, trying to bring the conversation to a close.

“Of course,” she said. “Ballet is hard work; we must never forget that. Well thank you so much for coming to our show today Antonette, and presenting the prizes. Now we have a little presentation for you.”

At this point, one of the older girls appeared from the wings carry a nice bouquet of flowers. She curtsied very prettily as she presented them to me, and I thanked her most sincerely. That concluded events, but I left with a nagging feeling that some of the parents would be saying to each other . “All that du Pré woman could do was flog tickets for the ballet she's in.” Well if they did, there was nothing I could do about it, but I made a mental note not to be available for the following year's performance.

I did take the precaution of telling Miss Higgins what had happened, and she thanked me, saying that in the unlikely event of someone ringing up to complain, she knew what to say to them.

The following day, I had a phone call from Miss du Plessis.

“Hello, Antonette. I'd like to thank you again for coming to our performance and handing out the prizes, but I thought you looked a little upset when we were chatting after the presentation?”

“Not at all, Miss du Plessis,” I replied. “I was just a little concerned that the parents might have thought I was just there to promote our season of 'The Nutcracker'. While I do believe it's an excellent work to introduce children to ballet, it's not really my job to try and sell tickets for it.”

“I understand, and if any of the parents say anything, and I don't think they will, I will explain that it was just something that came up in our conversation, and it wasn't planned at all.”

“Thank you for that, Miss du Plessis,” I said and concluded our conversation by wishing her a Merry Christmas. I never heard any more about it and perhaps I was over-reacting, but it made me realise how careful I would have to be now that I was getting well known.

To be continued.

Next time: Coppélia