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somewhat comical https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/taxonomy/term/17409/all en When Androids Visit Omaha https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/92318/when-androids-visit-omaha <div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-8 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/author/iolanthe-portmanteaux" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Iolanthe Portmanteaux</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-25 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/caution/caution-language" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">CAUTION: Language</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-1 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/audience-rating/general-audience-pg" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">General Audience (pg)</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-2 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/publication/publication-4" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">500 < Short Story < 7500 words</a></li><li class="field-item odd"><a href="/topshelf/publication/publication-23" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Complete</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-3 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/genre/science-fiction-0" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Science Fiction</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-9 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/character-age/college-twenties" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">College / Twenties</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-22 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/other-keywords/somewhat-comical" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">somewhat comical</a></li><li class="field-item odd"><a href="/topshelf/other-keywords/mistaken-identity" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">mistaken identity</a></li><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/tg-other-keywords/time-travel" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Time Travel</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-11 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/permission/posted-authors" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Posted by author(s)</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p> <br /> Maybe in the distant future, androids, when they gather, speak wistfully of Omaha and environs.<br /> For all I know — for all that anyone knows —<br /> Omaha may very well be the number one destination for time-travelers<br /> who like to throw elaborate monkey-wrenches into other people's lives.<br /> </p> </div></div></div> Wed, 01 Dec 2021 22:16:36 +0000 Iolanthe Portmanteaux 92318 at https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf A Tale of Two Tampons: A Christmas Story https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/92091/tale-two-tampons-christmas-story <div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-8 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/author/iolanthe-portmanteaux" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Iolanthe Portmanteaux</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-1 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/audience-rating/general-audience-pg" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">General Audience (pg)</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-14 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/contests/2021-12-christmas-holidays-story-contest" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">2021-12 Christmas Holidays Story Contest</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-2 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/publication/publication-4" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">500 < Short Story < 7500 words</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-3 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/genre/transgender/crossdressing" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Crossdressing</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-5 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/tg-themes/voluntary" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Voluntary</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-9 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/character-age/teenage-or-high-school" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Teenage or High School</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-22 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/other-keywords/somewhat-comical" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">somewhat comical</a></li><li class="field-item odd"><a href="/topshelf/other-keywords/romcom-tending" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">romcom-tending</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-taxonomy-vocabulary-11 field-type-taxonomy-term-reference field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><ul class="field-items"><li class="field-item even"><a href="/topshelf/permission/posted-authors" typeof="skos:Concept" property="rdfs:label skos:prefLabel" datatype="">Posted by author(s)</a></li></ul></div><div class="field field-name-body field-type-text-with-summary field-label-hidden view-mode-teaser"><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item even" property="content:encoded"><p><center><img src="/topshelf/system/files/u1973/lights06.gif" width="480" height="22" alt="lights06.gif" /></center><br /> <center><font color="#3344ff"><strong><em> December 2021 <font color="red">Christmas Holidays </font>Story Contest Entry</em></strong></font></center></p> <div align="center"> <h1>A Tale of Two Tampons</h1> <p><b>[A Snow-Filled Anecdote For The Christmas Season]</b><br /> <b><i>By Iolanthe Portmanteaux</i></b></div> <p> </p> <div align="center"><em>"Walter? Walter? If I fit into the costume, can I come and be your helper tomorrow?"<br /> My mouth went dry as I asked it, and my heart pounded in my chest as though it would break through my rib cage.<br /> <br /> He coughed and laughed. "<b>If</b> you fit in the costume, and <b>if</b> you grow a pair of tits by morning,<br /> then yes, you can be Santa's Helper tomorrow. Good night."</em></div> <p> </p> <hr /> <br /> <center><em>“Before I go," he said, and paused — "I may kiss her?"<br /> <strong>— Charles Dickens</strong>. A Tale of Two Cities</em></center></p> </div></div></div> Thu, 11 Nov 2021 21:48:07 +0000 Iolanthe Portmanteaux 92091 at https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf

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