Continuing In Relationship Of Intimacies That Were Shattered
"Feel stuck With His Addictions, Anger, Lies, And Compulsions issues"
Can't change him
Posted by: Jasmin - email: [email protected]
I'm not sure if this is the right place to leave this question since I am new to this site. I found out a few years ago that my husband was addicted to p*rn and I've been through all the phases I have read about.
We have started dating again about once every week to two weeks. I understand his situation and have decided it would work out best for me if I date him as a friend. My reasoning for that is I am able to focus more on him as a person I love, rather than my husband and the various intimacies that were shattered due to his financial compulsions, anger, lies,and the intimacy that he is unable to give.
When we date, he is the one who wants to hold my hand, and rarely gives me a quick kiss, but recently he made it clear he does not want a physical relationship because of his heart. I am very attractive and he says this, but i am confused if it is because he is satisfied with his p*rn pictures, or is truly afraid of the intimacy since we both hurt each other.
I am confused, because I feel the worlds psychology says one thing, and Christian psychology websites another. I want to love this man and be there for him, but I am afraid it will never go anywhere, unless he gets help. Although I know I can't change him, I do have hopes of him changing, I will admit that, but I don't see that he is addressing his addiction in any form, and he is a counselor. He knows what to do. I want to give him support in the meantime, but it is hard untieing the fact that we are still legally married and I can't go out with anyone else if I wanted to, or have sex with him if I dared to.
Love Spell Recipes
I even wonder if he has an STD
although he swears he has never been with anyone, I don't know if I believe that.
Had I the money,
I would have filed for divorce a long time ago. I have put a lot in Gods hands, but i believe that at this point I need to support my husband,
but I still am very attracted to him physically and I find it difficult at times to guard myself and my heart.
He says he is not talking to anyone or seeing anyone and no one else has his heart and why can't I see that. I don't know if we are going anywhere, and I can't, despite whatever he may be lieing about. He seems to want to control (as the worlds psychology puts it) the relationship level, or needs time and understanding (as Christian sites put it).
Afraid Of being Taken For A Fool Marriage Problems Advice Follow Ups:
Him changing hopes
Reply by: bo
Often times when a boss has to correct an employee, they compliment them first on what they are doing right then they go into what could be improved.
On your next get together, do reverse psychology on him. Agree and compliment with everyting he says and does. Do everything just the opposite of the way you are.
Make suggestions, be humble, be subjective, you can say in so many words, I agree with how you are and what you are doing but, can you do this suggestion for improvement in our relationship.
That way you can see if he wants a different you. And since he is not going to change or you will have to. Then, you should move on with your life, seek counseling and/or get a Love Spell Caster . Check out What are men and women differences? .
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