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Am I confusing fantasies friendship with sexuality man? Am I confusing fantasies friendship with sexuality? Posted by Mark :
I am a 41 y/o man, married for over 20 years. I enjoy making love with my wife. My problem is that almost all my fantasies are about men. I don't consider myself gay, really, I have never acted out my feelings in that way. I have strong religious convictions, and would never want to hurt my wife or scandalize my family.

I seem to develope these sexual feelings anytime I make a new male friend. I read that in males, feelings of friendship, bonding, and sexuality are all very closely related. Whenever I make a close male friend, I start to fantasize about him. I can make female friends and not really be sexually attracted.

Once, though, I had a good friend and couldn't decide who I desired more, him or his wife. I work with a guy now and have a very strong crush on him. He and I are very comfortable with him, which brings me to the problem: I'm afraid that one of these days I will "let the cat out of the bag."

I came somewhat close to telling him how I feel the other day. On one hand, I'm afraid he would reject and expose me; on the other hand I'm scared he may feel the same way. Am I just confusing friendship with sexuality relationships? --Biting my Tongue

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feelings for men man Feelings for men - Posted by Court :
My best friend has the same situation. He likes woman and respects them, but has feelings for men as well. what you need to do is have some alone time to figure out who you are. in one ear something maybe scream its wrong but in all reality it isnt.

Some people fantasize about certain qualities of other people, and if by chance a male co-worker or etc.. has something you wish your wife had it may intrigue you. The best thing you could do is take time and truly analyze yourself and what you want. Every person has thought about gay or bi sexuality weither there willing to admit it or not. just dont let the ideals of others stand in front of the answer, you are who you are, and be true to yourself.

Reply by: bob
Sounds like my "Mixed Orientation Marriage Relationships" situation. From expirence i can tell you sex with a close male friend will likely end that friendship. im in love with my wife,as you say,and wouldnt do a thing to hurt her again.i try to denie thoses feelings and avoid thoughts of sex while with some male friends. in short,dont do it,youll only hurt yourself.

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Reply by: Mark
I think you are exactly right. I avoid even thinking about it; may not be easy, but it is best. Thanx--Mark

Reply by: John Mcntire
You either are a bi-sexual or in fact are a latent homosexual.

Reply by: Missy
I think my husband may be feeling what you are feeling. Only he wont admit it. He is always pre occupied with all his male friends and doesn't worry about spending time with me or having sexual intercourse with me.

Reply by MSH Sexuality Facts:It is possible, however, to have fantasies or to be curious about people of the same sex without being homosexual or bisexual, or choosing to act on these impulses/attractions. And, being bisexual does not mean the person is mentally ill or abnormal in some way, although there may be social problems that result from prejudicial attitudes or misinformation.

Based on research done by Kinsey in the 1940s and 1950s, as many as 15-25% of women and 33-46% of men may be bisexual, based on their activities or attractions. Several studies comparing bisexuals with hetero- or homosexuals have indicated that bisexuals have higher rates of sexual activity, fantasy or erotic interest.

An individual may be drawn to bisexuality because they are narcissistic; they want both sexes to find them appealing.

There are a number of different support systems available to those struggling with sexual orientation.
Click for help and support . Find a sexual therapist, counselor or educator near you .

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