Trouble Cumming In The "missionary position"

    Certain positions really turn me on Certain positions really turn me on - Posted by Tim:
    (In Reply to: tough to orgasm posted by lisa:)
    I had that kind of trouble cumming with my girlfriend for a long time.
    Actually, certain positions really turn me on incredibly and others don't work very well. I felt guilty because I especially seemed to have trouble cuming in the "missionary position" .

    Sensitivity Problem

    Some of the problem is undoubtably reduced sensitivity. There's a huge difference for me--for example--between wearing a condom or not. A lambskin condom seems to work better for me than latex-- but that's hard to say for sure, because I found out that my lover was allergic to latex a little later. Some of it is just pressure.

    Experimented with different positions

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    Paradoxically, I found that as my lover got excited she became more "open" and less tight--which tended to be less physically stimulating.
    But pounding a little harder seemed to do it for me, again.
    We experimented with a few different positions, and that helped, too.
    Sidesaddle, straddling her leg; from behind and legs held tight together--different things seemed to work at different times.

    Can't orgasm in sitting position

    One thing I've heard that seems to be true for me is that most men and women need to be able to push with their legs and tense their hips, thighs and calves to come to orgasm . This basically holds true with me, which means that I can't really come to orgasm in an ordinary sitting position. I need to raise my knees like I'm bottom missionary, crouch, or stand on my tiptoes for best effect.

    Foreplay

    The combination of experimentation and plenty of foreplay ultimately did it for me.

    Learn to relax

    Psychologically speaking, and probably physiologically speaking as well, I actually got too excited to orgasm at first. I tended to overheat and my skin would flush. I honestly felt like I had a fever in the 110 deg F range. I drank quarts of water, at first. Later, it helped me a lot to learn to relax.

    Degree of self-consciousness

    One thing that I never expected was the degree of self-consciousness. The thing is, coming to orgasm is a very personal and very private experience. For ten or fifteen seconds during my orgasm, I am completely vulnerable. Perhaps this is more expected for a woman because of the nature of the act, but it was a little unexpected for me. I might make a funny face or fart or something, and under the best of circumstances, I give up control.

    Sex with another person is an exhibition

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    I need to know that I can trust my lover not to make fun of me. Stranger yet was this realization: sex with another person is an exhibition, of sorts--it's a show for one. I actually get a little stage fright. I think of sex as being private--but total privacy would be only masturbation.

    I'm sure that the idea that sex requires a lot of trust is old hat to you, so perhaps I would just concentrate on physical experimentation, but it wouldn't hurt to lower the pressure to cum.
    It's obviously reinforcing if I cum every time via masturbation or oral sex. But a little physical frustration at that time might be a little more helpful. I didn't cum every time, and I didn't need to.

    Related anorgasmia delayed ejaculation experiences Follow-ups:

    Retarded (Delayed) Ejaculation, sex therapist suggest SF Therapy - JimC (12)
    I am unable to achieve orgasm with my wife vaginally, orally or manually although I can masturbate to orgasm very easily when alone. One sex therapist we tried suggested Sensate Focus Therapy for the inability to orgasm condition, which did not work because you need to be able to mastubate to orgasm with your wife in the room, which I am unable to ejaculate semen fluid.

    Reply: MSH
    Click For Male Anorgasmia, Anejaculation disorder & Cum Problems and Delayed Condition Video
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