Em..... I'm not so sure if I should write in English or Japanese...
Well, hi again, my name is Minnie, and I live in New Zealand. You are so lucky to have such a lovely wife! Anyway, come and visit my website too! Do you mind if I link your website to mine??
(2005.02.07 05:38:10)
it has been a long time since I have writen in this journal. Laziness seems to get the best of me. speaking of that, i am too lazy to write in 日本語 so 英語で頑張って読んでください.
so taday, i talked to my mom.... you know everytime I call her, she always says:
"when are you coming 'home'"
it drives me nuts. dude Japan is my home. And I have told her that several times.
using those words like 'home' and 'staying in Japan' so I will the next time we talked. I just figured that she would stop if I told her that this is my home. but i guess not.
As MeYouKey will point out, i am a mammas boy. I am the youngest of four kids(3girls and me), and she considers me like a "special son." .... lets not forget that she replaced me as the baby a long time ago with her new son when I was 13. (she remairied when I was 10 and had a baby with him).
so lets get to it.
mom: "if you are never coming home, I just want you to say it." xsi: "if i did, would you be able to accept it?" mom: "well I would feel like i didn't have another son" (this is what killed me)
can you beleive it? she is basing me being apart of her
so should i start saying that I don't have a mother?
of course not.
well to sum things up, i was hurt, but sadly it is something that I am used to. i grew up with the whole emotional manipulation thing.
but i am not ok with it anymore.
Mom, if you ever read this, i want you to know, that you replaced me a long time ago, so why do you have to worry if I am gone or not?
maybe that is just the hurt little boy inside of me, or maybe its the man coming out? i have no idea.
I just want to be a good man, with or without her in my life.
I am so greatful for my MeYouKey.
Honey, thank you so much for suporting me and helping me. I value your advise so much.
I love you.
well that was this morning in a nutshell. I might add more later. I just wanted to get it out.
Hello, it has been long time since I last saw you around here. How is your wife? Hope she's doing alright.
I am littele jearous of you, xsismx. My mom told me that she is going to send everything that I have in Japan since I am not coming back home. I felt like she was abanding me. I have never told her that I am going to be in the U.S. forever. I might, but I can't predict my future yet.
I always wanted to live with my mom in the future no matter where it is, so I told her that in the past, she promised me that she would live with me...
and we got into another arguement.
I am having hard time to let my mom go as your mom are having hard time to let you be on your own.
Hey Fat Food Nationさん 久しぶりですね! >How is your wife? Hope she's doing alright.
she is doing good, just busy.
>I am littele jearous of you, xsismx. >My mom told me that she is going to send everything that I have in Japan since I am not coming back home. >I felt like she was abanding me. >I have never told her that I am going to be in the U.S. forever. >I might, but I can't predict my future yet.
i really know how you feel about being abandoned. it is hard to beleive that our mothers of all people could say things like that....
and about not knowing you future; that is totally true. if you are going to live in America forever or if I am going to live in Japan forever, that is that. and if we aren't, likewise. I feel that what happens happens, and no matter what, our parents should not behave the way they do.
but what do we know right? we aren't parents and we have never had one of our children move away and stood in the face of them leaving us forever....
I guess that is what they would say.
its nice to hear from you though. thanx for our comment!!
親ってね、子供が幾つになっても(大人になっても)、いつも自分の子供達の事を心配しているものなの。 日々の生活の中でも(どんな時も)、常に心のどこかに子供達の事がある。ふと、『今何をしてるかな?』と、時々思う。 誤解をされると悪いので、なかなか人には言えないことだけど、せめて自分の子供達だけは幸せでありますようにと願う。(どんな親でもこれは本心だと思う) 私は自分が親になって、初めて“自分の親”の気持ちがわかるようになりました。 人生何とかなるものよ。Tomorrow is another day.って言うじゃな~い。