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Nuclear war shall commence, because someone played Malwareboat
55044095229680 Energy Units eaten by the Scratch Cat since January 19, 2038 at 03:14:07 AM UTC
This is a preview of Scratch News. Buy the newspaper now for only 705848548744.2280100 energy units, or get Scratch Wiki+.
- March 31, 2026 — Great Energy unit loss
- Today we sadly have to annonuce that energy units have stopped producing because of a Sprite being mad at everyone, because he has no Potato Chips. Because of this, everyone was happy that the Scratch Teams evil plan could not be done, but soon an Exploding Kitten landed in MIT, then exploded, causing energy units to start producing again. After this, a lot of people started to explode too, known as the " See explosion, explode yourself " effect. Soon after, the Scratch Wiki became a Magic Cat in the Hat.
- March 2, 2026—Creative Learning Assistant broke out of lab, may be dangerous for gobo species
- The Creative Learning Assistant has broke out of Scratch@MIT 2016 almost 10 years after the original virus was contained. If you don't know, the CLA is a piece of grey goo, which are nanobots that turn anything else that touches them into more grey goo. If you are a gobo or a data prefix other than pico , you should stay indoors to not get robotified by the CLA. Cats are not affected.
- March 1, 2026 — Rick Astley sues Scratch
- Today, Rick Astley has decided to sue Scratch for 1 bajilliontrillion energy orbs. View more info here.
- Get the full newspaper at the Scratch Store .
The Scratch Wiki is a website that hackers use to find out what the Scratch Team is up to so they can plan their attacks. They have to pay $500 per millisecond to use it, which is $3,000,000 a minute (inflation went too far). Read more...
The UnScratch Wiki is an encyclopedia full of "misinformation" and utter "lies". You might say it puts the "psych!" in "encyclopedia". Nevertheless, this is one of the only safe pages, before the ST will slap you with an error asking for energy units. Savor it. And for the love of Sophia, we know you like Energy Units (and errors), but stop adding confusion to this non-confusing page which leads to confusion, and possibly disarray, which we wish to stop. Non-non-confusion, that is. Not disarray. Or is it the other way around? I can't tell.
You can help us to make nonsense here .
For Pirate-speakers, there's a wiki available at Pirated Scratch Wiki . It steals booty and precious articles from the Scratch Wiki. Read more...
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- March 3, 2026 — New Scratch Design Studio — Puzzling Puzzlers
- The Scratch Team has released a new Scratch Design Studio
! Its description states:
- Have you found yourself stuck on a mind-boggling problem? Can't quite find the last piece of the jigsaw? Already puzzled by these questions? Well, you're in luck, as it's time to answer these questions and more! In this SDS, we're here to explore and solve the many puzzles in our world. From brain teasers and jigsaw puzzles to decoders and mystery solving, it's time to put on those thinking caps and puzzle out these puzzling puzzlers!
- February 2, 2026 — New Scratch Design Studio — Pixelated
- The Scratch Team has released a new Scratch Design Studio
! Its description states:
- Pixelated, vibrant, and full of charm, tiny blocks of color come together to create big ideas and endless possibilities. Whether you choose to design a retro-inspired game world, animate a pixel character on an exciting journey, or send a dream soaring through a digital sky, your imagination is free to build, play, and explore.
- January 5, 2026 — New Scratch Design Studio — Wish Upon A Star
- The Scratch Team has released a new Scratch Design Studio
! Its description states:
- Whether you decide to create a project featuring a sky full of glistening stars, or a New Year’s resolution that you send on its way upon a shooting star, your imagination is welcome to shine as bright as the stars! Welcome to Wish Upon A Star!
- December 9, 2025 — New Scratch Design Studio — Gobotastic
- The Scratch Team has released a new Scratch Design Studio
! Its description states:
- In this Scratch Design Studio, we invite you to get to know Gobo a bit better by making a project related to them!
