Girlfriend wonders if she should stop cooking for her boyfriend after his constant complaints

Cooking for a partner usually comes with some give-and-take: a disliked ingredient here, a preferred dish there. A recent Reddit post follows a woman whose effort to keep meals nutritious keeps running into the same wall: criticism over ingredients he never even asked her to leave out.

In a recent Reddit thread, it was asked, "Am I in the wrong if I just tell my boyfriend that if he wants food a certain way, he should just cook it himself?" She went on to say she tries to stick to a healthy, plant-based diet, and while he's on board with it, he's been getting more and more demanding about the food she cooks.

He'll give his opinion on whether he likes a dish, and if there's something he doesn't like, she'll make a swap and cook an alternative he'll eat. But he's now started acting demanding, making her feel bad if she doesn't alter how she cooks to satisfy his never-ending requests. She says she feels stuck and can't say anything because she'll sound ungrateful; she's been accommodating her plant-based diet even though he doesn't have to.

He keeps changing the dishes and how she's always cooked them, then gets frustrated with her if she adds anything besides what he wants.

She's wondering if she's in the wrong for wanting to tell her boyfriend that he can start cooking his own food.

Hundreds of people chimed in with their opinions about her relationship.

One person said, "Cook what you want. Make the occasional reasonable accommodation, but that's it. His arms aren't broken. He should be grateful he's being fed."

If he knows that she eats a certain way, then he has to be okay with how she cooks for him. If all he's going to do is criticize and make her change up every single meal, he needs to take the task of cooking into his own hands at that point.

Another gave this advice. "As a recovering co-dependent person, I think you are being WAY more accommodating of him than you need to be."

It does seem like she's going out of her way to accommodate his every whim. She doesn't have to change everything every time and listen to him complain about anything and everything she cooks.

One person asked, "What is HE doing for YOU? Other than treating you like an errant employee?"

Good question, and one that she needs to answer. She's literally making every meal, and all he's doing is complaining about whatever she makes. It doesn't sound like a fair relationship.

Another comment pointed out, "It sounds like you have very different tastes in food and different dietary preferences. You're better off cooking for yourself and letting him cook for himself."

This is a good reason he should just cook for himself. If he doesn't even like eating plant-based, then, of course, it makes sense that he would criticize everything she makes.

My take on the story

When one person handles most of the cooking, constant criticism can wear things down quickly. It stops feeling like feedback and starts feeling like pressure. If every meal comes with rules, substitutions, and frustration, it's fair to pause and reset expectations.

Sticking up for yourself doesn't require a fight or an ultimatum. It can be as simple as explaining that you'll continue cooking the way you normally do, and that adjustments will be occasional, not constant. If someone wants complete control over ingredients and preparation, cooking it themselves is a practical solution, not a punishment.

Lastly, cooking is neither a gender-specific chore nor a specialized skill reserved for a few people. It's a basic life skill, like doing laundry or paying the bills, that most adults can learn and do.