Humor: The Stranger Things color-changing cocoa bomb is nightmare fuel
Your mind and stomach can't even begin to comprehend the horror
Because the Demogorgon Crunch was surprisingly delicious, I wondered if there were any more Upside Down-themed snacks to make my viewing of the Stranger Things season 5 finale more enjoyable. Then, while searching for stocking stuffers, I found it.
Glad to have instructions.
Behold! The Stranger Things Color Bomb. Made with Belgian chocolate, it included color changing hot cocoa powder and (if the box were to be believed) marshmallows!
The box featured multiple Netflix logos and the name of show (in case you somehow forgot) with a dice-shaped clear "windows" to view the cocoa ball.
Feels like a missed opportunity to make a dice
The wrapping on the ball itself is a fun reference to the fantasy games the boys played in season one. It's a excellent choice since we're about to see some magic.
It's a cocoa ball, the surprise is inside!
Upon unwrapping you get an ordinary chocolate ball. I can hear powder and marshmallows inside when I shake it. I'm not worried. I'm sure the real magic happens when you pour on the hot milk.
Pouring the milk, ready to see the colors explode!
(taken by author)Nothing happens. I've got a glass with a chocolate sphere slowly drowning in milk. I decide to check a different angle.
The milk piercing the shell.
(taken by author)YES! The milk pierces the shell. Red oozes out as well as a marshmallow. Surely now I'm about to see some action!
Oh.
(taken by author)Oh. That was underwhelming. Three marshmallows slowly gurgled out and the red dye gathered in clumps around the cup, before sinking to the bottom. That's fine! It needs some stirring anyway.
Stir, stir, stir, stir...surely this will make it better.
(Taken by author)There we go. It's red like blood. Or the vibe of the Upside Down. Not sure what they were going for besides miserly. Honestly, three marshmallows in that massive ball? But I'm stirring with all my might to get that chocolatey flavor dispersed.
Only there's a problem.
I mean this glass now looks like the outhouse in the Upside Down.
(taken by author)Most of the chocolate doesn't melt. It takes on the consistency of….well, let's just say this looks less like a pool of blood and more like a Demogoron's restroom in the Upside Down.
The chemical smell fills my nose as I bring it to my lips. I'm not excited about this anymore. Still, perhaps my eyes and my nose are lying to me. Maybe the real hero will be the taste. I take a drink.
Yum?
Nope. Instant regret. The drink coats my tongue in a waxy substance and a foul taste makes me gag. I swear a creature is definitely swimming in that cursed red-colored "hot cocoa" if you can call it that. Oh no…does that mean it's in my body now? Is a slug going to slither out of my mouth like it did with Barb? Did they forget the chocolate flavoring and just use red food dye? So many questions. But I don't need answers. I need to find a different drink to enjoy when I watch the Stranger Things finale.
As for the rest of this concoction? It goes down the drain where it will hopefully find its way to the Upside down, where it belongs.
