I spent a week on the world's largest cruise ship — here's what it was like

Cruises are the Crock-Pot of vacations. There's a set-it-and-forget-it ease because you can get on the ship and, at least in part, turn off your brain. But Royal Caribbean's Star of the Seas ? It's like a shiny Instant Pot that has a dozen cooking modes. You'll rarely use them all, and you may actually have to pick up a manual to figure them out, but they sure are impressive.

The Star has dozens upon dozens of restaurants, bars and shops spread among eight themed neighborhoods, plus seven pools, an ice rink, a six-slide waterpark, an escape room, theaters, music venues (no partridge in a pear tree, but give them time). And that's barely skimming the surface. If you're cruising with a large party — my group of 10 spanned three generations, ages 12 to 83 — it's as close as it gets to that elusive "something for everyone" vacation. Just don't be surprised if you have to consult a deck map a couple times … or a couple dozen times.

• Related: What's included when booking a cruise?

First impressions and the Infinite Balcony cabin

As we rolled into Port Canaveral, I felt a little like Obi-Wan Kenobi first glimpsing the Death Star: " That's no moon. It's a cruise ship!" It was more colorful than Vader's hideout, but it loomed over everything with the same awe-inspiring scale. The fact that this hulking thing could float, let alone take me island hopping, seemed like it would defy the laws of physics.

But sailing on the world's largest cruise ship (well, one of them — the Star is tied with sister ships Icon and Legend of the Seas for the honor) requires a little suspension of disbelief. After all, it's roughly four football fields long and 20 decks tall. It can sleep 7,600 passengers. Once you add in crew members, you've got a full-blown city of about 10,000 people.

I was skeptical that Royal could get everyone on board without that cattle-call feeling that can plague even the best cruises, but porters grabbed our luggage almost immediately, and we checked in and walked onto the ship in minutes. The crowds caught up with us during lunch at the buffet, but that's par for the course before staterooms open up. For my crew, the all-you-can-eat lobster tails were worth some jostling.

We booked one of the ship's Infinite Balcony rooms. Instead of a traditional balcony, there's a drop-down window — just press a button and voila, the sea breeze is all yours. Otherwise, the extra square footage is integrated into your cabin. It's a cool concept that gave my family of four some much-appreciated breathing room, but there are trade-offs. Once the window is down, your air conditioner shuts off — not exactly ideal during a sticky summertime Caribbean cruise . You also lose the quiet sanctuary that a walled-off balcony can provide, so choose wisely.

• Related: How to choose the best room on a cruise ship

Food, glorious food

We had two culinary home bases: the Windjammer, which is the Star's eye-popping buffet, and the main dining room. In true Royal Caribbean fashion, the Windjammer is an all-you-can-eat assault on the senses. I could nosh on prime rib or eggplant parm as easily as my 12-year-old could demolish a plate of chicken tenders and chocolate chip pancakes. There were some truly tasty dishes (raspberry mousse, I'll see you in my dreams) and some I might charitably describe as "adequate," but such is any buffet.

Pro tip: Breakfast is busiest, so if you want a more sedate Windjammer experience, go for lunch or dinner.

The main dining room offers a traditional white-tablecloth feel for dinner (and sometimes breakfast and lunch, depending on the day). We went every evening, and the service was reliably great. The food? It didn't knock my socks off, save one suspiciously good round of pesto tagliatelle. But let's be honest: Why would the ship's extra-fee specialty restaurants exist if the really good stuff was already included in your fare? Well played, Royal Caribbean. Well played.

• Related: How does cruise dining work?

Opening up your wallet gives you more options, including steaks at Chops Grille, sushi at Izumi and seafood at Hooked. We hit Hooked on the last day, and it was worth every bit of the extra fee. My lobster roll was juicy and my clam chowder creamy; my husband raved about the oysters, and my kids devoured the mussels. I've also eaten at Chops on previous cruises, and the steaks outclass anything you'll get elsewhere on the ship.

If you want something that's a little more grab-and-go (or recoil at the thought of paying extra), AquaDome Market is a fun food-court-style option with everything from pad thai to gyros to barbecue. I visited the crepe station more times than I care to admit, and by the looks of the line, so did most other passengers. There's also endless pizza at Sorrento's, quick bites at the Pearl and Park cafes, family-friendly eats at Surfside Eatery and, yes, plenty more.

Activities and entertainment

Believe it or not, it's the stuff you can do between mealtimes where the Star of the Seas really shines. Pickleball at sea? Of course. Game shows and karaoke? Check and check. Rock climbing, mini golf, trivia? Obviously. Hot stone massage at the spa? I checked that one off my list the first day. If you love a good puzzle, don't miss the escape room. And nothing brought my 20-something nephew and his 80-something grandpa together quite like a night at the casino. Until they started losing, that is.

The shows are top-notch. Back to the Future: The Musical was campy fun, but my favorite production was Torque, the water show. It packed in way more than daring high dives (motorcycles in a steel ball, anyone?). Mostly, it was fun to oooh and ahhh at the impressive tech baked into the ship's AquaDome. Both shows are hot tickets, so make sure you reserve a seat and get there early.

I didn't try out any of the water slides, but I did spend an afternoon at the 40,000-gallon Royal Bay Pool, the largest ever on a cruise ship. Maybe the size is why we actually managed to snag some nearby loungers, or maybe it's because we visited on a port day (always a cruiser's best bet for less-crowded pools). Either way, it was busy, but not quite the "people soup" I'd feared. On the flip side, the adults-only Hideaway and its infinity pool were small and packed — a disappointment after enjoying larger, calmer kid-free areas on other Royal ships.

Ports of call

Sure, you don't have to get off the ship — there's more than enough to keep you occupied for a full week on board. But (sorry, Star) some of our best memories were made in port. Here's where we stretched our legs:

• Coco Cay, Bahamas:Royal Caribbean's private island is pretty much an extension of the ship — more food, more activities, more waterslides, more everything. We like to hang out at Oasis Lagoon, a massive pool with a swim-up bar, but there are plenty of beaches if you need to feel the sand between your toes. Just don't underestimate the power of the sun here: I can never seem to reapply SPF frequently enough to avoid a nasty burn.

• Roatan, Honduras:This was a new stop for me, and I'm so glad we headed out to explore. We ventured to a wildlife sanctuary where capuchin monkeys jumped on our heads, pulled my hair and stole my son's glasses — and I loved every minute of it. We also got up close and personal with some macaws, iguanas and sloths. It was well worth the half-hour we were subsequently forced to spend at an overpriced souvenir shop. If you've been on any Caribbean excursions, you know the drill.

• Cozumel, Mexico:I have a love-hate relationship with Cozumel, because most of the cooler excursions require a 45-minute ferry ride to Playa del Carmen and then even more travel beyond that. But the long trip was worth it to hike and swim through some of the Yucatan's gorgeous caves and cenotes, sometimes in total darkness.

Our itinerary included a fourth stop in Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico, but we opted to stay on the ship for that one. The thinner crowds made for a more pleasant day on the pool deck, and there's definitely something to be said for unlimited soft serve sans the line — even on the world's biggest cruise ship, it's the little things!

Final verdict: Is the Star of the Seas worth it?

Before I conclude anything, you should know this: Despite never really wanting to go on a cruise, I've somehow been on something like eight of them, mostly with Royal Caribbean. Why? My family has consistently outvoted me, and sometimes you have to take one for the team. (Or maybe take eight for the team.)

I say that so you have some context for my verdict, which is this: The Star of the Seas is a masterclass in keeping everyone happy. Want to sip umbrella drinks on a lounger all day? You'll be happy. Exist on a diet of nachos and churros? Happy. Absolutely dominate a round of Beatles or Michael Jackson Name That Tune? You guessed it — happy.

If you're not happy, I'm guessing you fall into one of two buckets: 1) You never wanted to cruise in the first place or 2) You're after a quieter, more tailored experience. To the first group, I'd say this: Keep an open mind. I've had plenty of fun on cruises I never wanted to take, and maybe the most fun of all on the Star. As for the second group, there's probably something out there to match your vibe, like an adults-only ship catering to an older crowd , a luxury liner or a river cruise that focuses more on what's off the boat than what's on it.

But in the end, whatever you want from the Star — and really, Royal Caribbean's entire Icon class — you can find it. Just make sure you consult that deck map first.