Dan Le Batard says Jacksonville 'smells bad,' insults city for second day in a row

Hey, Dan Le Batard, we don't smell, you do!!

I know, it sounds juvenile. But after Dan and crew fired their latest salvo after insulting Jacksonville and the Jaguars on Wednesday, he doubled down Thursday.

Here's how it went: Hour 2 of "The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz" led off with an exchange of the crew talking about my column defending Jacksonville on Wednesday.

My man, Ten-Day Tony, who wasn't present Wednesday but has stood up for the Jags in the past, told Dan he would have defended Jacksonville, referring to us as "My people."

His ultra-intelligent producer Jessica Smetana replied: "I tried to save you. I appreciate the writer of that story acknowledging that I tried to save you. Jacksonville fans are not going to take that lightly."

Well, she didn't say my name, but I'm "the writer." I also was a student journalist at UF and the Independent Florida Alligator in the late 90s with their good buddy Izzy Gutierrez, so I have bona fides (pronounced bona fee-days).

Dan continued: "But I'm not wrong, Jacksonville fans do care deeply, but no-one outside of Jacksonville cares about the Jacksonville Jaguars ."

Jessica then reminded Dan the Jaguars are the "Team of Clemson fans. I do have to disagree with you."

Of course, Trevor Lawrence and Travis Etienne are both Clemson products that lifted the team to the national title.

So now, South Carolina brethren, I'm calling on you to stand up with us!

But then Dan had to keep going: "I'll give you Jacksonville and Clemson, those two regions are where people would care deeply if Jacksonville made the Super Bowl. That's all I'm going to give you, Duval. That's all I'm giving you, Florida Times-Union. And don't threaten me again with 'you woke up a sleeping cat,' Le Batard. In your region, it smells different from other regions in the United States. It does, Jacksonville still smells bad."

OK, real mature for a guy in his mid-50s.

Sadly, one of the most positive entities on the show, JuJu Gotti, had to add: "It smells like poo everywhere."

Then, guest host Amin Elhassim, of whom I'm a big fan, replied: "What are you doing?"

Dan then said: "It does. Put it on the poll, does Jacksonville smell bad?" I can only imagine what rude way his mean group of cult followers voted there.

Jessica then added: "Honestly, I've driven through Jacksonville several times in the last three years, it's one of the places you got to drive through to get from Miami to New York, and I never noticed a smell. But I will be rolling the windows down next time."

Then, hockey lover Roy Bellamy chimed in with: "I would keep those up."

Amin, being one of the three sensible people in the room (along with Tony and Jessica) then chimed in with: "What are you doing, Roy?"

Dan then came in with the not-so-helpful: "It's not strong enough to seep through the windows."

To which Jessica asked: "It just smells like poop everywhere? I've never noticed."

Dan finished with: "You've never been outside in Jacksonville with your windows open? I wasn't going to say poop, I didn't know what the smell was. I was going to go closer to paper mills, but I don't know what paper mills smell like, and I do know what poop smells like and it's closer to poop than paper mills. Anyway, I'm sorry Jacksonville."

Amin finished with: "That doesn't sound like an apology at all."

No, Amin, it doesn't. More snark from the lord of ego.

Now, let me take the "smell bad" comment to task.

Yes, right down by EverBank Stadium is a coffee factory, and it can sometimes smell like coffee, but aside from that, Jacksonville doesn't have a noticeable odor. It's a ridiculous premise.

Miami, on the other hand? Let's talk odor.

Dan lives in South Beach. He regularly talked about the parking garage he and his staff used to have to park at the Clevelander Hotel. It smelled like urine. They complained regularly about that. I'd posit there's a lot of urine odor in and around South Beach and Miami.

Miami also has other distinctive aromas. According to the Miami New Sun Times, "Miami's beaches can smell like several things: saltwater, weed smoke, or the sunblock-smeared flesh of scorched tourists."

That sounds inviting, doesn't it?

And while we're at it, let's talk weather.

Miami is insufferable most of the year. Jacksonville has a bit more seasonal temps. In fact, bestplaces.net shows Jacksonville has a comfort index of 7.2. Miami is 6.4. They take a lot of data into account, so click on this link to study up on it .

Now, let's compare traffic. Once you pass Stuart, the next hundred miles south is a nightmare. I-95? Nightmare. Turnpike? Nightmare? Every exit ramp you get off on? Nightmare.

How about overpopulation? It's overcrowded and overpriced down there. In Jacksonville, there's plenty of room for comfortable growth at reasonable prices.

Let's talk corruption. Jacksonville's mayor Donna Deegan has a good reputation. Miami's mayor, Francis Suarez, doesn't have the greatest reputation. I learned that from Dan Le Batard cohort Billy Corben.

How about how South Florida politicians have plowed over much of the eastern portion of the Everglades? Real nice.

Dan, I will continue to defend the good citizens of Jacksonville.

You can use your podcast to bash us, but keep this in mind: My podcast, "The *State* of Florida Sports Podcast," which is backed by the USA Today Network, recently won a big FSNE podcast award, and I was named the No. 1 sports podcast in the state of Florida by feedspot.com. I should mention your buddy Jeremy Tache was behind me on the list.

So, in closing, we don't smell bad, Miami smells bad.

I would take the Jacksonville area any day over Miami.  

This article originally appeared on Florida Today: Dan Le Batard Show host bashed Jacksonville for second day ina row