The Simpsons is Fortnite now, sorry
Great news for fans of The Simpsons who enjoy Homer Simpson's strangulation-based approach to parenting—but ultimately feel he doesn't go far enough by not unloading a full-on shotgun blast into The Boy's skull, before doing some kind of funny, meme-based dance over the spot where he died—as the long-running cartoon has now seized the zeitgeist of about four years ago by launching a big, flashy Fortnite crossover. Unlike past "Animation Domination" bits in the online shooter, which mostly involved letting you dress your characters up as Bob Belcher, Hank Hill, or a weirdly lean version of Peter Griffin, the new Simpsons event is a full-on mode, allowing players to run around a pretty decent recreation of Springfield, blowing it all to hell.
And if you want lore, boy howdy, do we have lore: As part of the collaboration, Gracie Films has produced a series of Simpsons shorts that will air both in Fortnite and on Disney+, which, if the first one is anything to go off of, feature a cheaper version of the show's animation, paired with some of the least enthusiastic line readings we've ever heard from its talented cast. (If that's Dan Castellaneta voicing Kodos and Homer, he sounds like he's on the wrong end of a grueling graveyard shift in the voice actor mines.) Oh, and there are all the little irritations inherent to having Springfield shoved into a universe designed and aimed directly at 12-year-olds, including the fact that the version of Moe's Tavern on "Springfield Island" serves sugar-y energy drinks and not beautiful, life-restoring Duff Beer. (Also, it looks like the Stupid Sexy Flanders skin skimps on the juicy backmeat, and, like, what are we even doing here ?!)
But these minor quibbles cannot change the fact that this is happening, and that feeble protests will not stop it from continuing to have happened. The game's new Battle Pass (don't worry about it) apparently just features Homer, Marge, and Flanders (along with variants), along with some Simpsons -fied versions of existing Fortnite characters. (The fish guy gets three eyes. Cute!) The trailer shows skins that appear to be Bart and Lisa in some kind of mech suits, though, so it feels like our dreams of recreating that one original Treehouse Of Horror segment where the whole Simpsons clan comes together to violently murder each other feel like they're in reach. (That segment didn't then have Goku and Ariana Grande come by to steal the dead family's loot before getting murdered by a dabbing John Cena, but animation at the time was, admittedly, a lot more primitive.)
