35 Adults Are Sharing The Most Unhinged Things People Said To Them After ***, And WOW!!!

As much as movies try to convince us that *** is always this magical, otherworldly experience…it's often not. Sometimes it's awkward, uncomfortable, or just plain weird. Throw in a questionable one-liner or uncalled-for move, and it might be the last time you ever see that person. Clearly, the BuzzFeed Community knows alllll about these moments, cause...

In a previous post , I asked them, "What's the wildest thing someone has done or said to you after hooking up?" And oh boy, they spilled some eye-opening stories that I just had to share. Take a look:

1. "After, we were lying there, and I was touching his back. He sighed and said that I rubbed his back the same way his grandmother did. I think he thought it was an endearing compliment, but it was just plain weird. Grandma talk and *** don't go together."

—Anonymous, USA

2. "I was dating this girl for a few months, and one night during a ********** session, she kept whispering my name. So when I thought she was about to climax, I started doing the same. Suddenly, her body stiffened up. I thought maybe I had hurt her. When I asked what was wrong, she said, 'My name is not Peggy.' AND IT WASN'T!"

—Anonymous

3. "I met my now husband in college. We were both virgins when we met. Obviously, once we finally hooked up, we were doing it as often as possible. Well, one day the fire alarm in his dorm went off when we were going at it, so we frantically threw on our clothes and rushed out to the lawn. His RA was standing outside and saw us looking all frantic. The RA was clearly HIGH AS HELL. He looked at us and said, 'Y'all saucing? ****... Nerd love is dope!' and then walked off. My now-husband and I had no idea what to make of that."

—Anonymous, 25, Virginia, USA

Related: "He Put It In My Butt": Straight Men Who've Hooked Up With Other Men Are Sharing Their Experiences, And Wow

4. "After I went down on him, I asked him to reciprocate, and he said, 'Oh, no, I don't really do that.' After some more lacklustre foreplay where I faked an ****** just to have it over with, we were lying there when he said, out of the blue, 'Yeah, I'm like, super Republican.' I can't prove it, but I know the two are correlated."

—Anonymous, 29, USA

5. "This was in the late '90s. It was our first date, but we had been flirting at work for months. We did the dirty….and almost immediately after (and still naked)….she started talking about how she thinks the government is secretly listening to us. She mentioned a friend by name, then looked up at the sky and said, 'I shouldn't have said his name.' That was the last date. Can you imagine thinking the government was secretly spying on us? Flash forward 25 years later with our smartphones listening to us at all times... Maybe I owe her an apology."

—Anonymous, 45, New York, USA

6. "In the middle of a college hookup, my partner all of a sudden started bawling his eyes out. We stopped, and I asked him what was wrong. His response? 'You have the same name as my ex-fiancée, who aborted a pregnancy without my consent.' 😳 Needless to say, we never talked again, and he transferred to another school very quickly after that. I found out later that his next girlfriend also had the same name as me and his ex."

—Anonymous, 27, Massachusetts, USA

7. "We were getting hot and heavy at the bar, and we stumbled back to her place, which was just down the street. When I got there, she had a video camera set up. She said that she was an influencer, and it was just set up from making videos earlier that day. I didn't think much of it...until we were in the middle of doing the deed. She was on top when she said, 'I don't only use the video camera for work. What do you say?' I'll never tell you what I said...but we're dating now."

—Anonymous, 34, California, USA

8. "He said with utmost confidence and seriousness, 'It's not the biggest tool in the shed, but it gets the job done,' in reference to his ***** post-coitus. I was speechless. It, in fact, absolutely did NOT get the job done. He remains the same overconfident little man, even 25 years later, when he randomly hits me up to scold me about what I missed out on by not being with him."

—Anonymous, 42, Illinois, USA

9. "First time we hooked up, he told me my l*bia was cute. I still don't really know what that means."

—Anonymous, 25, Chicago, IL, USA

10. "I went to college in Lincoln, NE. One night after a football game, I hooked up with a guy from the bar. When he came, he screamed, 'GO BIG RED!' Now I think about that night every time I hear those three words — which is a lot."

—Anonymous, 32, Nebraska, USA

Related: 15 Deeply Personal Secrets Men Say They're Keeping From Their Partners

11. "I had the absolute BIGGEST crush on this guy. I thought he was God's greatest gift to earth — ya know, typical teenage girl things. I picked him up from summer school and brought him over to my house, where I awkwardly walked him around our farm, showing him our mini pony and goats. This guy decided, while standing next to a stall full of goats and rabbits in cages, to ask me to go down on him. To be precise, he said, 'Put this baby maker in your mouth.' Cringe. We hooked up a few more times after that day, but it didn't lead anywhere. But we actually ended up becoming really close friends, and to this day, almost 17 years later, we will still randomly yell 'baby maker' at one another when we see each other in public."

—Anonymous, 32, USA

12. "I was hooking up with a cop in my mid-20s. He invited me to his place, and after we did the deed, we were just lying there. Then, all of a sudden, he sat up, looked at his phone and blurted out, 'You need to leave! My wife is coming home soon, and I have to fix the house.' I had so many questions. He tried calling me a couple of days later to invite me over again. But I blocked him. 🙄"

—Anonymous, 38, California, USA

13. "She said that her breasts would sometimes leak when she was aroused. She didn't have a baby or was breastfeeding or anything like that, so I have no idea what she meant by 'leaking.' We never slept together again, so I never found out."

—Anonymous, 31, Texas, USA

14. "He came as if it were incredibly, excruciatingly painful. Like everything would be going great, then he'd be like 😲😫 oooooOOOOOOOUAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! for like a good 10 seconds. I'd just lie there, staring at him like...you good? 😶"

—Anonymous, 30, Texas, USA

15. "After he said, 'You're on the pill, right?' I was, but maybe check before next time. I wonder how that strategy worked out for him."

—Anonymous, 53, Canada

16. "After drunkenly going home with a guy, I went to the bathroom. It turned out he lived at home with his mum and siblings, who were still awake watching TV. I said hi, and his mum turned to me and said, 'Tell my son that he needs to move out tomorrow!' I just peed and left."

—Anonymous, 28, Australia

17. "The first time I slept with my friend's brother, I told him, 'You sound like your dad when you laugh like that. It kind of turns me on.' We're still hooking up to this day, but he doesn't laugh like his dad anymore."

—Anonymous, 25, Canada

Related: "She Died 2 Days Later": 37 People Who Accidentally Caught Their Partners Cheating In The Most Absurd, Cinematic Ways Possible

18. "After we hooked up, he asked if I wanted to meet their dad. He lived alone, so I was very confused. Then, I thought maybe they were flirting with me about having a future together and meeting each other's parents. Nope! He then proceeded to pull a box of his father's ashes from under his bed."

—Anonymous

19. "In my 20s, a friend set me up with one of his buddies. Never. Again. Midway through, he stopped and asked me if I was pro-choice or pro-life. Then, after he finished, he lit a joint in bed, and asked if I could sneak out quietly so his parents didn't catch me."

—Anonymous, 40, USA

20. "I was in college. He was a classmate of mine. He brought over ****** beer, and we watched TV before going to the bedroom. He finished in about 4 minutes. Then he had the audacity to say, 'You can keep the beer for the next guy.' At the time, he was only the second guy I had slept with. It was humiliating and terrible."

—Anonymous, 38, Iowa, USA

21. "After finishing, he got off the bed and whisper-yelled, 'Let's goooo!' Then he pretended to score a soccer goal. He then proceeded to get me a towel and give me a high five. Never again."

—Anonymous, 26, Australia

22. "Afterwards, he put his hand on my stomach and said that he hoped we had just made a baby. It was our first time having *** ever. We weren't even dating."

—Anonymous, 31, USA

23. "In the middle of it, while I was going down on him, he yelled, 'IT TINGLES!' I didn't know what to do after that."

—Anonymous, 31, Maryland, USA

24. "He said, 'You sucked the life out of me.' And then he thanked me. 🤷🏻‍♀️"

—Anonymous, 31, Iowa, USA

25. "Almost right after, he asked me to put in a good word with my best friend because he always had a thing for her."

—Anonymous, 32, UK

26. "After he finished, he bizarrely described the texture and shape of his emission."

—Anonymous, 44, Missouri, USA

27. "Upon finishing, he would say, 'Boom goes the dynamite!'"

—Anonymous

Related: "I Lost My Train Of Thought And Stumbled Over My Words": Women Are Sharing The Subtle, Unexpected Things Men Have Done That Got Them Hot And Bothered

28. "I'm a Brazilian living in the States. I hooked up with a German guy, and afterwards, I jokingly said, 'I guess I’m your favourite Brazilian.' He responded, 'No, it's Neymar.'"

—Anonymous, 31, California, USA

29. "Some guy said to me, 'You have the best ***, and you don't even go to the gym. How?'"

—Anonymous, 23, Australia

30. My ex-husband would always say 'One has arrived' to let me know he finished.

—Anonymous, 46, West Yorkshire, UK

31. "It was the very first time we hooked up, and she was already wanting to do roleplay. It felt pretty intense for the first time. She kept doing a weird voice, and she put on a hat that she called her 'sexy alter ego, Sandra.' We hooked up a few times after that, but I could never get into it."

—Anonymous, 37, Oklahoma, USA

32. "It was me who said the unhinged thing after ***. I said, 'I'm bored.' And honestly, I hope I still live rent-free in that guy's head."

—Anonymous

33. And finally: "He said, 'You have a great personality, but...'"

—Anonymous, 47, Missouri, USA

Now I wanna hear from you! What's the most "wait… what?!" moment you've experienced after hooking up with someone? Tell me your stories. I want every nitty-gritty detail (well... keep it relatively PG — I am reading these at work). Spill the details in the comments or share anonymously using the form below:

And for more fun content like this, make sure you follow BuzzFeed Canada on TikTok and Instagram !

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Also in *** & Love: If You Can Identify These 20 *** Positions, You Definitely Know What You're Doing In The Bedroom

Also in *** & Love: Men Are Sharing The Things Women Do That Will Instantly Make Them Say "Check, Please!" While On A First Date

Also in *** & Love: If You've Done More Than 35 Of These Sexy Things, You're Reallyyy Freaky In The Sheets

Read it on BuzzFeed.com