Can You Ban Your Bridesmaid From Wearing a Slicked-Back Bun?
CARLOS and ALYSE
Allure declared 2023 the year of the “everybun” referring to the tight, slicked-back bun that took over our social feeds. We have the “clean-girl” aesthetic to thank for its rise in popularity (and, of course, its unofficial spokespeople Hailey Bieber, Sophia Richie Grainge , and Kendall Jenner). While the hairstyle blends seamlessly into several settings—from a T.J. Maxx run, to date-night at a Michelin-star restaurant—the internet seems to be divided on whether or not it’s appropriate to wear as a wedding hairstyle .
The debate appears to have started when Eli Rallo—a content creator, author, and 2026 bride—posted a TikTok explaining why she was not allowing her bridesmaids to wear the hairstyle at her wedding. “There is a time and a place for a slicked-back bun at a wedding, but mine is not that wedding,” she said.
The video now has 2.1 million views, over 176,000 likes, and 742 comments. “Praying I’m never in a SBB wedding bc I look like an alien,” one person commented, while another said, “A bridesmaid look is very different than guests. SBB can almost always work for just a regular guest, but you’re right. Bridesmaids need to match the overall vibe better. ” Yet another commenter questioned the reason the hairstyle would even be at a fancy affair in the first place: “Slick backs (at least for ppl with straight hair like me) are for when ur hair is too greasy to do anything else with it,” they wrote. “No reason to be wearing one at a formal occasion.”
Rallo says that it’s not that slicked-back buns don’t ever belong at weddings, but rather specific weddings—you shouldn’t wear one to a rustic barn wedding, for example, but a chic betrothal in the city is A-OK.
For what it’s worth Katie Kelly , a hairstylist based in Hudson Valley, New York, agrees with the bride-to-be’s logic. She tells me that slicked-back buns are appropriate for a black-tie event in New York City, a destination or beach wedding, or a wedding in the middle of the summer, among other circumstances. “Those are all situations where I would recommend that style if the client was already considering it,” she says. And, since Rallo is covering the cost of hair and makeup for her bridesmaids, she feels that she can voice her opinion on their aesthetic choices for the day.
So, how did the slicked-back bun weasel its way into wedding culture discourse? According to my Instagram sleuthing, the slicked-back bun seduced an entirely new audience with its siren call when Grainge, the patron saint of the “clean-girl” aesthetic, wore the style with a middle part for her nuptials in Antibes, France in 2023. After videos from the event went viral (with Stephen Sanchez singing her down the aisle and the explosion of florals, how could it not?) Grainge was catapulted into an entirely new level of influence. In fact, she landed so many brand partnerships that it was hard to escape her slicked-down style for at least a year after she said “I do.”
Kelly, who has been working weddings for 11 years, agrees that Grainge had something to do with the uptick in bridal buns. “That's really when it took off as a look for us,” she says. “I can't remember ever doing it before her wedding.” Kelly does the hair for around 60 brides a year, and says anywhere from five to 10 of them request a slicked-back bun for their big day. Bridesmaids, on the other hand, are more likely to ask for the style. (She says 20% of the bridal parties she works with end up with at least one SBB.)
But, of course, Grainge did not invent the polished look, and it’s also not a new, trendy hairstyle that’s destined to date your wedding. Women have been wearing slicked-back up-dos for centuries across cultures, especially women of color with textured hair. “There is a significant cultural layer to these styling choices,” says Kay Jones, owner of the bridal glam company Beyond the Knot Co . “Historically, natural hair wasn’t always centered or celebrated in the bridal industry. For many women of color, the slick-back bun was, and is, a perfect intersection of elegance and endurance. It allows them to celebrate their beauty without the stress of the style 'sweating out' or losing its shape.”
Jones says that while the sleek look has always been around, it’s experiencing a major resurgence driven by what she calls the current “less is more movement.” “We are in an era that celebrates a more natural, effortless aesthetic,” she says. “For our Black brides and bridesmaids especially, there is a beautiful, growing movement toward embracing natural hair and finding ways to showcase that texture within a polished, high-fashion framework.”
When the slicked-back bun discourse was sent into the Allure team’s group chat, where editors chat about the news and trends of the day, they immediately had opinions (and first-person experiences). Annie Blay-Tettey, Allure ’s associate beauty editor, thinks a slicked-back bun is classic—so much so that she thought she wanted to go in that direction for her wedding day in 2025—but ultimately decided that it was, in her words, boring. “When I tried it in the trial, I didn't like how it looked and went with a half-up half-down,” she says.
Now, as someone who is not yet engaged or planning a wedding, do I have an opinion when it comes to this? For myself, yes—a slicked-back bun is most definitely not and never will be in my future, neither at my wedding nor in any other circumstance. Ever. I don’t believe in my ability to pull it off—my up-dos are more Serena van der Woodsen than Bella Hadid—and, like Allure ’s social director Kassidy Silva says, I truly believe I would look like a founding father if I attempted one.
I would not ask a bridesmaid or any guests to avoid a specific hairstyle, although I agree with Allure ’s commerce producer Sarah Hoffman, who says she’d be more worried if the bride required slicked-back buns rather than banning them. “As someone with a super round face who CANNOT pull it off, I’d drop out of the wedding party if someone made me wear one for professional photos,” she says. Honestly? Same. As far as forbidding a hairstyle in general goes, Silva sort of gets it. “I only understand ‘banning’ the hairstyle if the bride wanted to wear a slicked-back bun and no one else to wear it,” she says. But other than that? It’s a bit dramatic.
Monica Perry, Allure ’s senior manager of analytics and audience development, is apparently not on our side. “My stance is, if you’ve signed up to be a bridesmaid, you’ve signed up to be a character in someone else’s happily ever after, so do whatever they want within your budget and don’t stress,” she says.
Again, I’ve never been a bride, but I believe if you’re paying for someone’s hair and makeup, you’re allowed to offer some guidance. It’s probably fair to suggest that your friends stay away from blue eyeshadow or pigtails or an impulsive bang cut, but they don’t necessarily need a rulebook. I’ll let Allure ’s senior beauty editor, Jesa Marie Calaor, leave you with a bit of wedding wisdom: “If you're asking your bridesmaids to spend their time and money on you, let them have the slicked-back bun.”
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Originally Appeared on Allure
