How To Handle a Picky Eater at Holiday Dinner Without the Food Battles

Reviewed by Jill Castle, M.S., RDN

Key Takeaways

• Picky eating can make holiday meals stressful, but you don't need to force your child to try new foods.

• Letting kids help cook and offering foods they already enjoy can make holiday meals easier for everyone.

• Taking the pressure off eating helps your child feel supported and lets your family focus on time together.

Picture a holiday dinner. The table is set, the turkey is nearly ready to come out of the oven, the sweet potato casserole is bubbling in its pan, and you are crossing your fingers that everyone will be happy and well fed. But when your picky eater takes one look at the food and says, "No, thank you," it's hard not to feel frustrated.

Feelings are often at an all-time high during the holidays, and having a picky eater can make things more stressful. As caregivers, you want your child to try new things, but you also don't want them to feel ashamed for their tastes. So how can you handle the holidays without a fiasco? We spoke to experts to help you navigate a holiday dinner with a picky eater.

Understanding Picky Eaters

Picky eating often starts early. Food can be a wonderful cornucopia of tastes, textures, and smells, but when your child catches a whiff, they might just put their foot down.

Cherilyn Davis, MD, FAAP, a board-certified pediatrician at Elliston Pediatrics, says that picky eating has many causes. From a developmental stage to genetics , to oral motor weakness or sensory sensitivity , picky eating can make it hard for kids to enjoy the holidays.

"Some kids are choosy eaters because they don't like particular smells or textures," Dr. Davis explains. "Or they may be worried about trying something new."

Picky eating can certainly stem from feeling pressured to try new things, agrees Jennifer House, MSc, RD, pediatric dietitian and founder of First Step Nutrition. "If parents try to control how much their child eats via pressure or restriction, battles often ensue," she adds.

How To Engage Your Picky Eater Ahead of Time

Parents know that kids often test the boundaries—they want to have a say! The holidays can be a good time to let them exercise some control, says Dr. Davis. Here are some tips.

Think smaller

To encourage kids to try new foods, start small. "Offer a few bites of something new at a time," suggests Dr. Davis. "And don't be afraid to reintroduce foods that your child originally didn't like later on. Studies have shown it can take upward of 15 times for a person to know whether or not they like a particular flavor."

Include your child

Let your picky eater play with their food in various ways. Allowing kids to help prepare the holiday meal gives them a sense of ownership, making it more likely that they'll try new things.

" Cooking with your child exposes them to foods they may typically avoid at mealtime," says House. "As with messy play, cooking gives your child extra exposure, and they may be more willing to touch these ingredients that they normally wouldn't at the table."

Involving your kids in this way during the holidays can help make new traditions , too.

Holiday Mealtime Strategies for Your Picky Eater

It's important to have strategies and set expectations around holidays, especially for families with picky eaters. Here are expert-approved tips for reducing battles at the dinner table.

Incorporate safe foods

"Safe" foods are ones your child will always eat, no matter the circumstances. Having a safe option takes the pressure off—and you know your child will eat at least one thing on the table. This frees parents up to enjoy the holiday without stress.

Consider using dips

Maybe your child wants to try something new, but taking a whole bite of a new dish is super scary to them. Instead, let them dip plain bread into new foods like cranberry sauce or gravy, says Dr. Davis. This allows kids to try a new flavor , without forcing them to struggle with a new texture .

Serve family style

Family style allows kids to take ownership of what they put on the plate, says House. Enjoying food family style makes sure kids "are still exposed to all of the other foods getting passed around the table," even if they don't eat them. Hey, there's always next year!

Advocate for your child

If family members are being needlessly critical about what your child does or does not consume, make sure to take a stand on your child's side. Redirect the conversation, House suggests. The point of celebrating a holiday isn't your child's consumption, but being together as a family.

Don't bribe—empathize

Bribing picky eaters with dessert is a common tactic parents use to get to the end of the meal. The problem with bribery is that it puts dessert on a pedestal, House explains. Neutralize food and choose to empathize instead.

"It's best to neutralize foods and treat them all the same, so certain foods aren't 'forbidden' and therefore highly coveted," she adds. Take the pressure off by saying something like, "We will eat dessert when it's time."

Focus on what really matters

In the end, it's just one day on a calendar—and for your picky eater, it can be a day full of new pressures and difficult challenges.

"The more we pressure a child to eat, the more they dislike the foods we're pushing, the less they eat of it, and the more picky they become," House says. "So it backfires anyway."

Instead, try and focus on the important things: your picky eater is a part of your family, and a holiday is a time when family comes together. In the short-term, it's OK for kids to skip the meal or only eat the things they want, Dr. Davis explains. It's unlikely to cause any long-term harm, and dialing back the anxiety over whether or not your picky eater is eating will do everyone good.

Read the original article on Parents