Adults Are Revealing The Hilariously Wrong Life Lessons Their Parents Taught Them

When we're growing up, our parents are beacons of wisdom, imparting nuggets of truth that prepare us for adulthood. It's only when we're older that we realize the adults in our lives stuffed our heads with half-truths!

Recently, I asked the BuzzFeed Community , " What's something your parents taught you as a child that turned out to be pretty inaccurate? " The answers, ranging from complete exaggerations and white lies to well-intentioned advice, will have you shaking your head (and perhaps pondering how *your* truths will hold up to the test of time!).

1. "A good education and hard work will lead to a successful life. As if!"

Related: Parents Are Confessing The Secrets That They Refuse To Tell Their Children, And Wow

2. "That being fat was a cardinal sin. Even just a few pounds overweight was seen as almost criminal. Their body standards were so outlandish. It’s taken me a while to love my body exactly as it is, extra pounds and all."

—Anonymous, 43, Female

3. "If you left the water on while brushing your teeth you were 'killing the whales' by taking water away from them."

4. "All aspects of religion. The thought that I’m already judged and will be sent to a place filled with torture if I don’t worship some unknown being. To base my thought process off some being that demands to be worshipped while just saying 'trust me bro' — Faith is so ridiculous. "

—Anonymous, Male, 41, Illinois

5. "That the Civil War was fought because of 'states' rights.' Nope . My Apologist White Arkansan Conservative Baptist parents are conveniently leaving out that the Southern states wanted the right to own slaves, so, yes, it was about slavery."

6. "That if I swallowed a piece of chewing gum, I would grow a gum tree in my stomach. I once swallowed a piece of gum and didn't sleep well for weeks. "

—Anonymous, 50

Related: Adults Are Sharing The "Annoying" Things Their Parents Did That Ended Up Changing Their Lives For The Better

7. "That anything worth doing is worth doing well. And that a person can do anything they set their mind to."

8. "I was always told as a kid that sleeping with my head under the covers would make me suffocate and die. I found out it wasn’t true when I was on a trip, and I was cold. My older brother told me to put my head under the covers, and I said I didn’t want to, so I wouldn’t die. And that’s when he told me the truth. I was so surprised."

—Anonymous

9. "My parents said sitting too close to the TV would ‘ruin my eyes.’ I was already nearsighted due to their genes!"

10. "My mother was shocked when I told her I breastfed my babies. She insisted formula was better because that’s what she was told by nurses when she had me."

—Anonymous, 56, Female, Providence, RI

Related: My Dad Had A Shameful Compulsion. I Never Thought I'd Grow Up To Share The Same Secret.

11. "I was taught that adjusting the car’s thermostat and turning on those neat little car lights on whilst driving was dangerous. By their reaction, you’d think the car would explode!"

12. "I was told that if you step on a crack, you’ll fall and break your back! Stepping on sidewalk cracks never did result in the predicted 'cracked back.'"

—Anonymous

13. "When pumping gas, to keep pushing the handle even after it’s filled up. My dad would have us squeeze the handle up to four more times to get 'the tank to be filled up properly.' Turns out, you should not do this. When the handle pops, it’s full."

14. "My dad told me if you didn’t pay the tolls on the highway, spikes would come up and slice your tires. That was back in the day when they had baskets to throw the toll money into. My boyfriend ran one oncem and I screamed, 'THE TIRES!' He thought I was nuts."

—Anonymous, 66, Female, near Chicago

15. "When I was in seventh grade, my swim coach told me that we should never drink carbonated pop because the bubbles would get in our bloodstream! I would buy a liter of Diet Coke, open it, and leave it on the kitchen counter for hours to let the carbonation out! Lol! What?! And my parents let me! They never asked me to explain what the hell I was thinking."

16. "That if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Boy, that just made me afraid to express any emotion that wasn’t happy or perfect."

— glitterycactus856

Related: People Are Confessing Dark Secrets About Their Parents That They Shouldn’t Know

17. "My father taught me that working hard at your job and doing things the right way would be rewarded and would get me ahead of lazy slackers who do the bare minimum and show up late. I still work hard, follow the rules, and have only called in sick twice in my entire life (I’m 58 years old). I’ve had a variety of jobs, including my current one, for more than 15 years, but in my experience, the lazy ***-kissing liars get ahead more. It’s depressing to say the least."

18. "That getting a bachelor’s degree would guarantee a good job making good money."

— artisticcowboy363

19. "That labels are something akin to a death sentence, ruining the rest of your life. Finally getting diagnosed with a bunch of stuff in my early 20s ended up saving my life instead."

20. "That we had to hug and kiss all of our relatives, otherwise we'd be seen as disrespectful. My kids still require manners, but physical affection is not mandatory unless they feel comfortable enough to do it on their own without being asked."

— xquexpex

What did you learn as a kid that turned out to be a total, bald-faced LIE? (Or simply a reflection of the norms at the time?) Share in the comments or anonymous in the form below!

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