Why The Happy Is The Sweetest Southern Tradition

From burying a bottle of bourbon before your wedding day to wearing a Mother's Day corsage, Southern traditions often revolve around big life events and holidays. But some Southern customs (looking at you, porch sitting) take mundane days and make them happy. One of those is something I learned from my mom, and it's called (you guessed it) a "happy."

Meet The Experts

Emma Allen,founder and owner of the curated online shop Hammett

Amy Rainer, a Birmingham, Alabama-based etiquette teacher, writer, and speaker behind Etiquette with Amy

What Is A Happy?

My mom has always called little gifts happies. If she knows a friend is having a hard work week, she'll bring by a happy to brighten her day. If a neighbor loses a loved one, the happy of pre-made lunch goes a long way. You get the idea.

A happy can be as simple as a $5 coffee and scone brought to a coworker or a bouquet of flowers for a teacher. Even though a happy is generally quick, simple, and not too expensive, it's always thoughtful. It lets the receiver know you were thinking of them and wanted to bring some "happy" to their day.

Allen is an expert when it comes to gift-giving, and says her shop, Hammett was created to stand in as a virtual "gift closet" of sorts, another concept near and dear to Southerners.

"I always think of a happy as being small but special," Allen says. "Finding something personal to the person you are gifting it to makes it that much more thoughtful and meaningful."

Why Do Southerners Love Happies?

Rainer is more than experienced with gifting happies, or as the Georgia native's family calls them, "surcies." She defines a surcie as, "an intentional small gift given with love," so it's fitting that Rainer's love language is gift giving.

That invisible attachment of love is at the heart of why she prefers gifting to physical touch or words of affirmation. For her, a happy isn't about how much money you spend. It comes down to "taking some time to step out of ourselves and our busy schedules and thinking, 'How can I make these people in my life feel loved, important, and special?'"

"My relationships are just the most important thing to me," Rainer says, which is why it's paramount to her to stop the hustle and bustle and be sure her family and friends know "they're cared about, they're thought about, and they're loved" with even the tiniest surcie on the doorstep.

That thoughtfulness is something that's high priority for Allen when it comes to happies as well, especially in terms of timing. "Think ahead," she says, adding that whether it's sending coffee to a friend before a big day at work of flowers to a host before an event, "the thoughtfulness goes a long way!"

Expert Advice

Rainer has a few key elements she always includes with a surcie to make it feel extra-noteworthy for the recipient.

• To start, get yourself some high-quality, letter-pressed calling cards. They might be an investment, but one that's well worth it. "You can tie a letter-pressed calling card to anything, and it makes it lovely," Rainer says.

• In keeping with the presentation aspect, Rainer also recommends stocking your wrapping supplies with some beautiful ribbon that you can use during any season. Her go-tos are double-faced satin or organza ribbon in colors you can gift year-round, like leaf green, ice blue, or rosy pink.

A custom calling card and vibrant ribbon will immediately elevate any gift dropped in a mailbox, even if it's a few stems picked from the yard.

What Can You Gift As A Happy?

As far as which gifts Rainer prefers, you can never go wrong with the "saw this and thought of you" kind. If you're present (no pun intended) when you spend time with your friends and family, you'll pick up on plenty of happy (the noun, also no pun intended) inspiration. Did your mother-in-law rave about your cute cocktail napkins? Grab her a few the next time you see them at the store. Rainer once commented on how much she enjoyed a cocktail mixer her friend used. A few weeks later, a bottle of it was sitting on her stoop, wrapped with a bow.

"Keeping the gift personal to the receiver is always successful—whether it be a box of local cookies for your sweet-tooth bestie or a pretty little vase for your green-thumb neighbor," Allen says.

Related: Our Best Recipes To Make As Gifts For Your Family, Friends, And Neighbors This Season

Rainer has been particularly into giving "consumable" presents, or ones that won't start gathering dust and don't need a dedicated, permanent spot in her friends' homes. (Because as Southerners often ask: How many trinket trays is too many trinket trays?) This could mean a single-use bath bomb given with a note to "take some time for yourself and relax today" or a simple bouquet of wildflowers in a mason jar. Rainer recently started a cutting garden with raised beds in her own yard for this very purpose.

Allen agrees. "You can never go wrong with fresh flowers," she says. "They are always perfect for the person who has it all!"

Should You Write A Thank You Note For A Happy?

Even though handwritten thank you notes are almost always recommended, if you're the recipient of a happy, you're off the hook.

Related: Is It Ever Okay Not To Send A Thank You Note?

"For something like this, I don't always feel like a formal thank you note is required," Rainer says. Of course, a phone call or sweet text to convey your gratitude are non-negotiable. For example, when Rainer received that cocktail mix, she took a picture and texted it to her friend, thanking her and telling her how excited she was to make a cocktail with it that night. That's all you need to do, y'all!

If you don't practice it already, we hope you pick up the sweet, Southern tradition of the happy. Your friends and family will thank you (via call or text, of course).

Read the original article on Southern Living