'You can get through it.' Season of Sharing helps single mom find home
Stephanie Shatusky remembers back when she had dreams of a different life – of one day studying to be a marine biologist.
But at 16, growing up in New Jersey, she met the man who would become her husband and father of her children. Soon she was escaping her troubled home and bounding into a new one with him.
Decades later – after a lifetime raising children, working retail jobs and moving to Florida – Stephanie found herself trying to escape again.
This time it was her marriage.
"I wanted to get away for a very long time," said Stephanie, who is 49 and lives in Nokomis.
"I had to plan it out," she said. "It's not easy at all."
With her two oldest children grown and gone, Stephanie's main priority was providing stability for her youngest child – her 11-year-old daughter, Carmyn – and keeping her in the same charter school.
Then this spring, after weeks of strategizing to find a place for herself, Carmyn and their dogs Zeus and Boo, Stephanie was forced to act fast.
After an especially bad fight with her husband, Stephanie wound up in a one-bedroom motel apartment with Carmyn and the dogs. Now her search had turned desperate.
Every morning Stephanie would wake up, walk Zeus and Boo, drive Carmyn to school, work her housecleaning job, pick up Carmyn and get back to the motel – and then start anew on the housing search.
"I just couldn't stop," Stephanie said.
Yet with each passing week, Stephanie was losing huge chunks of money – the motel cost her $800 to $1,200 a week, depending on the time of season.
She was having trouble finding an apartment – and having just as many problems maintaining her current housing arrangement.
Sarasota County's affordability crisis
A new report on the area's housing crisis conducted by the Florida Housing Coalition and commissioned by local foundations found that low-income households are bearing the brunt of the region's affordability challenges.
That includes teachers, nurses, home-health aides and service and hospitality workers who make up the "backbone of the community."
The report revealed that many of the most common occupations in Sarasota County don't pay enough to meet basic housing costs.
Studies also show that single moms have a particularly hard time keeping their heads above water amid the shortage in affordable and workforce housing.
According to a recent ALICE report released by United Way Suncoast, in Sarasota and Manatee counties, about two-thirds of households headed by single mothers are living paycheck to paycheck or below the federal poverty line.
That's true only for 39% of households headed by single dads.
Stephanie was receiving child support from her husband, but it still wasn't enough to dig her out of a hole. Nor was the $140 in monthly food assistance – provided through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program – sufficient as grocery costs began to soar.
Some days after work Stephanie would head to food banks that had late hours. But by the time she would get there, there was often little left.
Still, the main thing that mattered was seeing Carmyn content in the cocoon of their motel room, doing her homework, playing video games and thriving in school.
A point of light - and some angelic support
Stephanie had joined the ranks of hundreds of parents locally and thousands across the state as part of Florida's biggest homeless population: families with school-age kids.
And like many of them, her biggest concern was not disrupting Carmyn's education.
Studies show homelessness – including in the form of "couch-surfing" between the homes of family and friends or staying in hotels – can have devastating and long-term consequences on a child's scholastics.
Stephanie was determined to find a place of her own for Carmyn.
"I have not had a good life," Stephanie said.
"I grew up hard. My parents were alcoholics, abusive. But I learned early on that as long as you keep moving and you don't sit and dwell, you can make it. You can get through it. Even if the path is dark, as long as you keep moving, there is a light somewhere."
Thankfully, Stephanie's boss was one point of light – offering support, flexibility and even the use of her car when Stephanie's vehicle broke down.
And then – just as Stephanie was tapped out and about to leave the motel to live in her car – her boss provided the biggest assist of all: she vouched for her employee when, at long last, Stephanie found an efficiency apartment she could afford.
It cost $1,200 a month.
The only problem was getting through the door with the first month's rent and the security deposit.
For help, Stephanie was referred to St. Vincent de Paul Venice , which is connected with Epiphany Cathedral and Our Lady of Lourdes.
In short order, St Vincent applied to Season of Sharing on Stephanie's behalf.
Season of Sharing assisted with the first month's rent, and St. Vincent helped with the security deposit so that Stephanie could get "out of that horrific situation," said Pat Shehorn, St. Vincent's co-vice president and client advocate.
"It's worse now than ever," Shehorn said regarding today's economic struggle for working families.
Once many working families end up in a hotel, they face enormous challenges saving up for a place of their own. In effect, they are trapped in a place that gradually drains away whatever money they have.
"It's a vicious cycle," Shehorn said.
For now Stephanie, her daughter and the dogs are content in the efficiency.
"They came through like an angel," Stephanie said of the help she has received from Season of Sharing and St. Vincent de Paul.
The quarters are tight, but Stephanie and Carmyn make it work.
Carmyn stays on a loft bed and Stephanie on the one below that converts into a couch. During evenings after work and school, they watch movies and eat dinner together.
"This is my first place on my own," said Stephanie, who is now divorced.
These days Stephanie's main focus is saving up to get an even bigger apartment in the next year or two.
She's also planning to take on a second job as an Uber driver.
"I'm just doing one thing at a time," Stephanie said.
"I'm doing the best I can."
How to help
Season of Sharing , a program administered by the Community Foundation of Sarasota County , assists individuals and families in an emergency with rent, mortgage, transportation, utility and child care expenses in Sarasota, Manatee, DeSoto and Charlotte counties.
You can donate to Season of Sharing by going to cfsarasota.org or calling 941-556-2399.
You can also mail a check to Season of Sharing, Community Foundation of Sarasota County, 2635 Fruitville Road, Sarasota, FL 34237.
This story comes from a partnership between the Sarasota Herald-Tribune and the Community Foundation of Sarasota County. Saundra Amrhein covers the Season of Sharing campaign , along with issues surrounding housing, utilities, child care and transportation in the area. She can be reached at samrhein@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Sarasota Herald-Tribune: Nokomis single mom treasures Season of Sharing support
