Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 910.

Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) Part 910 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

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I settled Julie down with a cup of chocolate and her book, lying on the sofa in the dining room while I fiddled about on the computer or made phone calls. I’d discussed the restraining order with Mr Henstridge, and he came back to me, saying the police had already told both Julie’s parents that if they came anywhere near Julie or her foster siblings, there would be big trouble. I asked him to get it in writing and to discover if they were well insured–because if they got it wrong without the formal order from a court–I would sue and big time.

“Remind me not to cross you, Lady Cameron.”

“Why should that happen?”

“It was a throwaway remark–nothing else. The adoptions should be through by Easter”–damn, I suppose I ought to organise the trip to Stanebury and the wedding blessing. I’ve got so many bodies to get organised for bridesmaid’s dresses, and the boys–I think we’ll have them in kilts–if they’ll wear them. I know Simon will, so will Henryand Tom. I’ll speak with them when they come home.

More importantly, I needed to speak with Stella–I had to get a wedding dress plus organise the day–she could do much of that for me, especially as she knows the local Stanebury scene far better than I do.

“Julie–this probably sounds strange, but would you like to be a bridesmaid?”

“What me?” her squeak was so high pitched that only the dog and next door’s cat would have been able to hear her properly. “Who’s getting married?”

“No one.”

“Oh–what do you need bridesmaids for, then?”

“It’s a wedding blessing.”

“Oh–okay, when and where?”

“Probably May sometime, and in Scotland.”

“Never been to Scotland, who’s gettin’ blessed?”

“Simon and I.”

“Wow–kewl, like, count me in.”

“I’m going to need some help in organising it too, Auntie Stella will probably be the major planner, but we’ll need some help organising dresses and things with the girls, getting kilts for the boys and so on.”

“Sounds really fun.”

“I hope the day will be, the idea of organising it makes me want to hide.”

“I’ll do anything I can to like, help.” She sounded very enthusiastic and put her book down. “Have you got a dress in mind?”

“Not yet–I think I know what I’m prepared to wear, but whether I’ll find it, is another matter.

“What colour–white?”

“I fancy a pearl white silk.”“Ooh that sounds lovely, Mummy–what sort of shape?”

We discussed bridal gowns for the next half an hour until I got lunch. Stella had gone out–usually she leaves a note but today she didn’t. I hadn’t noticed her car was missing–until I saw it coming back up the drive, then winced when she parked it next to mine. As far as I could see, she hadn’t actually hit my car, but then she had to move hers because she was so close she couldn’t open the door.

I swear she smells the tea pot. We had a salad lunch and Julie mentioned the wedding blessing. Stella’s face lit up and she said, “You’ve set a date then?”

“No, we need to organise that plus dresses for bridesmaids and bride.”

“And kilts,” added Julie.

“For the bridesmaids? Well it would be different anyhow–that’s about all you could say for it.”

“No for the boys,” said Julie rocking with laughter.

“Oh–of course,” Stella blushed and tittered at the same time thereby suggesting some of us can indeed, multi-task, safely.

We were still talking about dresses–partly with help from the internet and my laptop, when Stella said, “Bridesmaids.”

As we were looking at bridal gowns, I challenged her–“No, brides?”

“No, silly, bridesmaids–go and collect them–look at the time.”

I glanced at the clock and almost dropped the computer on the floor before rushing to grab my bag and coat, closely followed by Julie.

Once safely in a speeding car–if that doesn’t sound too Oirish–I asked her why she wasn’t staying with Stella and talking about wedding arrangements? Her reply was simple–“If I have anymore, I’ll be diabetic by tea time.”

“Much of it is sickly sweet–but I know Trish loves it, so will Mima and Livvie.”

“I s’pose I should too, given how much I’ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid–but, it’s all frills and froth and no substance.” I think I was listening to a proto-feminist, but if she says, womyn , I’ll throw her out of the car.

“That does surprise me,” I said smiling–knowing it was reflecting my own feelings.
“Oh on one level, it’s like, wunnerful –but on another, it’s demeaning for women. It’s great for five year olds, but for older women, it’s juvenile.”

Suddenly this child was talking like an adult–why? Can’t have been associating with adults or giant intellects, because we’re all crazy and spend much of our time teasing each other, so it’s rather like a girl’s public school. Nine o’clock lights out–ten o’clock candles out, ha ha–yes, well, maybe a girl’s preparatory school?

By the time we got to the convent, three young ladies were standing with the headmistress all trying to look casual about my lateness. Then Mima spotted us approaching and came rushing over to greet us, quickly followed by two other skirted bodies–ponytails swinging as they ran.

“Problems, Lady Cameron?” asked Sister Marie.

“Nothing serious–the traffic added to the delay, I’m afraid.”

“And who is this young lady?” asked the headmistress of Julie.“This, Sister Marie, is Julie Kemp, who is staying with us for the foreseeable future.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Julie, this is Sister Marie, torturer in chief at this educational establishment."

“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition ,” she said and began to laugh at the Monty Python gag line–I of course laughed until I had tears down my cheeks. The three girls and Julie looked on in bewilderment. Looks like I need to trawl Youtube and see if the sketch is viewable, it should be, it’s a comedy classic.

“Mummy–what you and Sista Mawee waughin’ at?” asked Meems as we drove home.

“Just a silly programme that used to be on television some years ago.”

“Did you wike it?”

“Most of the time–it was very funny sometimes.”

“Can we see it?”

“I don’t know if you’d understand very much of it, it’s really for older children and grown-ups. If you remind me after dinner, I’ll see if some of it is on the internet so you can get an idea of what we used to laugh at.”

“Is that, Monty Python?” Julie asked as we inched our way through the traffic.

“Yes–it was called, Monty Python’s Flying Circus though it neither flew nor was a circus.”

“That’s siwwy,” sighed Meems.

“Yes it was very silly,” I agreed.

Once we got home I set to in the kitchen to get dinner ready–pork chops; the girls went off to search the internet for Monty Python on Trish’s computer. Several times I heard them laughing and once or twice they weren’t very impressed.

I managed to corner the boys who were doing their homework and they reluctantly agreed to wear kilts. “That’s like wearing a skirt,” complained Danny.

“It’d go well with your strawberry blond top knot,” I teased.

“You could be a bridesmaid then,” said Billy and they began slapping each other on the arm again. When the slapping became punching, I stopped it.

“Any more of this fisticuffs and both of you will be bridesmaids,” I threatened, “in frilly pink dresses and high heels.”

“Aaarghh,” they both squealed and ran away. I assumed that was an end to the matter and they’d wear kilts. Cameron tartan I presume, but I’m not sure whose tartan is used, the bride or groom’s. Another job for Stella to find out, if Tom doesn’t know, of course.

I dipped the chops in egg yolk and dusted them with sage and onion stuffing, before grilling them. The potatoes were new, boiled ones with cabbage and carrots and whole green beans. Dessert was a cop out, some yoghurt–home made–I think there’s enough for the kids, with some strawberries–again, just enough for the children.

I called Trish to lay the table, asked the boys to wash their hands, and Julie to round all the youngsters up. Tom came in as I was dishing up and Stella came down with loads of bits of paper about wedding gowns. I had to stop her until after I told the girls what was going on. I wouldn’t do that until tomorrow–tonight they’d be so excited, they wouldn’t sleep.

I let them watch a bit of Mamma Mia video before I put the kids to bed. The girls went quietly and I read a bit to them. The boys also went quietly when I asked which of them was wearing a kilt and who was wearing the bridesmaid dress–as we seemed to have a spare one. We didn’t, but they didn’t know that.