by: Bee Delores
Last Updated: September 23, 2024
7 min read
7 min read
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The iconic pop singer popular for her diverse vocal range, Mariah Carey recently returned to the stage after the deaths of her mother and sister in August on the same day. The five-times Grammy award winner disclosed that she would return to the stage after a ‘couple of rough weeks’ and was thrilled at the prospect of meeting her fans in China and Brazil.
With the mention of the two countries, she referred to her scheduled shows in China on the 15th and 16th of September and then in Brazil on the 20th and 22nd of September. In Brazil, she performed in the infamous Allianz Parque in Sao Paulo, Brazil, capturing the attention of a huge audience as she gracefully glided across the stage, adorned in an elegant red thigh-slit gown.
On August 27, 2024, Carey lost her mother and sister, both on the same day, and she divulged in an exclusive statement to People that, ‘My heart is broken that I’ve lost my mother this past weekend’. She later confirmed, in the same comment, that her sister had lost her life on the same day too.
Since early childhood, Carey had had a complicated relationship with her mother and siblings. She had to go through childhood trauma and domestic violence from a very young age, and events of such nature have left a lasting impression on her personality.
How she survived the trauma and emerged as one of the most popular pop names in history is an inspiring story that I am going to share with you today. Together we will also look at how c hildhood trauma and domestic abuse affect minds to the extent that they are marred for life, in the context of Mariah Carey’s life.
Mariah Carey’s memoir, ‘The Meaning of Mariah Carey’, is an indulging yet harrowing read, that takes the reader down the road of what it looks like behind all the celebrity glamour. The materialistic diva (an image which Carey sometimes relishes) opens up about her struggles as a child, suffering from a dysfunctional and violent family.
Carey was born, in 1969, to parents Alfred Roy Carey, a Black Venezuelan aeronautical engineer, and Patricia Carey, a White opera singer and voice coach, on Long Island. Patricia’s Irish-American family dissociated themselves from the family, aghast at their daughter marrying a black man. Hence, the Carey family was isolated, set to be humiliated, and laughed at because of the mixed-race match.
The couple had three children, the eldest being a son, Morgan, and two daughters, Allison and Mariah. During their time together, Carey has admitted that violent outbursts and verbal abuse were being thrown around the house very frequently.
She especially stated that when her ‘ brother was around, it wasn’t uncommon for holes to be punched in the wall and for other objects to go flying’. The heart-wrenching statement substantiates the intensely deteriorated conditions Mariah had to suffer through as a child.
At one time, her brother and father got into an intense fight and it took 12 police officers to separate the two of them. Mariah was three at that time and shortly after, their parents divorced , with Mariah being sent with her mother to live.
During that time with her mother, they had to move 13 times as her mother struggled to make ends meet, all the while being negligent of her young daughter. In her memoir, Carey writes that the relationship with her mother was a complicated one, a combination of jealousy, shame, pain, pride, disappointment, and admiration. She claimed that a ‘complicated love tethers’ her heart to her mother’s.
Carey shared a similar relationship with her violent siblings and she mentioned in her story that it was safer when she was away from them. The memoir also depicts several incidents where her sister, Allison tried to drug her, as Allison was a drug addict, gave her third-degree burns, and almost sold her out to a ‘pimp’.
Apart from a dysfunctional family, Carey also had to suffer through racial discrimination and derogatory remarks for being mixed-race. An incident that she narrates is particularly distressing where a sleepover with supposed ‘ friends’ turned into a mock session when they discovered that her father was ‘black’.
With all the hardship she had to go through, it is not very surprising that she was later diagnosed with ‘ Bipolar disorder ‘. The condition was diagnosed in 2001 but she was ‘not ready to believe it’, she told People, in an exclusive interview. She later opened up about the disease and began receiving treatment for bipolar disorder II, which included therapy and medications.
Carey had discovered very young that she could sing well and hence when she met Motolla in 1998 at an industry party and handed him a tape of her singing, he famously searched for her for two weeks before he found her.
He was 21 years her senior and his record label spent a whopping $1 million on her first album, which ultimately topped the charts for 11 consecutive weeks. Following her success, the pair began dating in the late 1980s, despite their huge age gap. They tied the knot in 1993 when Carey was 24 and Mottola was 43.
The marriage did not turn out to be a happy one for Carey, as the relationship was abusive and Carey has described Motolla as being ‘controlling’, with surveillance cameras and guards patrolling the entire sprawling mansion. They eventually divorced in 1998 and Mitoalla later wrote in his memoir in 2013 that their relationship was ‘absolutely wrong and inappropriate’.
Carey’s memoir does not mention or detail her hard luck finding the correct partner as she moved from one person to another. However, it does give a detailed insight into what her childhood was like. It is sufficient to conclude that an abusive environment and dysfunctional upbringing can impact one’s persona for life.
Carey mentioned that music became her savior against the harsh realities of life. It served as her ‘escape’ and writing was a form of ‘processing’. Therefore, it is quite evident that Carey did not give up and against all odds, decided to fight for her life.
In stark comparison to her sister Allison who was brought up under the same conditions, Carey worked to build her own life, away from the fears and miseries that plagued her childhood. She is now a mother to twins, Moroccan and Monroe and Carey makes sure that they are not insecure or afraid. She assures that they live an independent fulfilling life, one that is not tarnished by derogatory remarks on race or color or by disturbed family dynamics.
Song | Year Released |
---|---|
All I Want For Christmas Is You | 2019 |
We Belong Together | 2005 |
Always Be My Baby | 1996 |
One Sweet Day | 1995 |
Fantasy | 1995 |
Beautiful | 2013 |
Touch My Body | 2008 |
Obsessed | 2009 |
Hero | 1993 |
Honey | 1997 |
Lover of hiking, biking, horror movies, cats and camping. Writer at Wide Open Country, Holler and Nashville Gab.
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