speaking of that, i am too lazy to write in 日本語 so 英語で頑張って読んでください.
so taday, i talked to my mom.... you know everytime I call her, she always says:
"when are you coming 'home'"
it drives me nuts. dude Japan is my home. And I have told her that several times.
using those words like 'home' and 'staying in Japan' so I will the next time we talked. I just figured that she would stop if I told her that this is my home. but i guess not.
As MeYouKey will point out, i am a mammas boy. I am the youngest of four kids(3girls and me), and she considers me like a "special son." .... lets not forget that she replaced me as the baby a long time ago with her new son when I was 13. (she remairied when I was 10 and had a baby with him).
so lets get to it.
mom: "if you are never coming home, I just want you to say it." xsi: "if i did, would you be able to accept it?" mom: "well I would feel like i didn't have another son" (this is what killed me)
can you beleive it? she is basing me being apart of her
so should i start saying that I don't have a mother?
of course not.
well to sum things up, i was hurt, but sadly it is something that I am used to. i grew up with the whole emotional manipulation thing.
but i am not ok with it anymore.
Mom, if you ever read this, i want you to know, that you replaced me a long time ago, so why do you have to worry if I am gone or not?
maybe that is just the hurt little boy inside of me, or maybe its the man coming out? i have no idea.
I just want to be a good man, with or without her in my life.
I am so greatful for my MeYouKey.
Honey, thank you so much for suporting me and helping me. I value your advise so much.
I love you.
well that was this morning in a nutshell. I might add more later. I just wanted to get it out.