Ball Park Etiquette for Dummies

Ok… I’m going to lay it all out on the line.  I am a Baseball Fan… a BIG one.  I appreciate spending my time in the friendly confines of just about any ball park I can get into.   I’m a ticket package holder for the Detroit Tigers.  I like conversing with other fans (home and away) to get their opinions, emotions and input on how the team is run.  However, there are a few unspoken rules that anyone who attends a ball game needs to know – and exercise each and every time they attend a game.  I have run into each one of these instances recently and it has prompted me to voice my opinion on this page– instead of getting arrested for assault with intent to commit great bodily harm at Comerica Park.

1)     National Anthem – short and sweet here, when the National Anthem is sung (regardless of the country) all fans must rise; gentlemen remove your caps, stop what you are doing and shut your mouth.  Nothing is more annoying than someone babbling a running commentary while the anthem is sung.  This is a time for reflection – SILENT reflection.  If you are unfortunate enough to not be in your seat at this time of the game, stop what you are doing and show some respect.  If you have kids with you, make sure you teach them this oh so important rule #1.

2)     The Running Commentary – yes it is appropriate to discuss thing pertaining to the team with other fans around you.  But please do not be that person who continues to talk throughout the duration of the game.  At some point, others around you will get very, very sick of listening to you – especially if you are a fan of the visiting team.

3)     The Running Commentary part deux – the ballpark is a place for old friends to meet and catch up on what is going on in their lives.  These conversations should take place during the pregame warm up, between innings and the 7 ^th inning stretch.  Please refrain from having lengthy and heavy non-baseball conversations at your seats where everyone around you can hear you.  No one wants to hear about what happened to Bobby and Suzy and how their parents are handling it.  This is why ballparks have gathering areas and bars.

4)     “I know everything” Fan -   we have all overheard this guy at the park.  He is the one who thinks he is a walking bible on his favorite team.  Problem is that 98%of the time he is completely wrong.  If you don’t know for sure, don’t say it.  And surely don’t say it loud enough for the people in the next section to hear you.

5)     The Middle of the Row Fan – If you know your seats are in the middle of the row, please refrain from getting up in the middle of the inning to get your refreshments and take your bathroom breaks.  Others in the row get very sick of standing up to let you pass.  Please wait till the inning is over until you decide to depart your seat. (#5 is exempt from this in certain circumstances.)

6)     Uber drunk fan – oh yes, the fan who was buzzed in the 2 ^nd , drunk in the 4 ^th and inebriated and obnoxious in the 7 ^th .  These people need not come back to their seat after their 3 ^rd bathroom break of the 4 ^th inning.  It is best just to stay down on the concourse level closest to the bathrooms and beer vendors.  These people are usually habitual breakers of rule #5 and should be scowled at every time they try to pass.

7)     Crying Child – I am a huge proponent of kids at the ball park – kids of an acceptable age who know right from wrong and who can sit in one place for at least 2 innings.  A screaming child is a huge detriment to others who have paid good money to get into the park.  If you can’t get a sitter, please don’t come.  If you do have to bring your very young child, make sure to position yourself as close to the aisle as possible for easy exit in the instance of an emotional outburst.

8)     The Wave – STUPIDEST THING EVER – don’t do it… dumb, dumb, dumb…

9)     7 ^th inning stretch – sing the song; you know it, so just sing it.  No one is judging your singing abilities.

10)  Rally Caps – are cool, but not in the 3 ^rd inning.  This tradition is reserved for the 9 ^th inning only and when the game is within reach.  You need more than a rally cap when your team is down by 12 in the bottom of the 9 ^th .

11)  One Out Left in the Game – stand up.  Plain and simple.  And if you choose not to, do not complain and yell at the others around you to sit.

12)  Visiting Fan Loss – If you are a fan of the visiting team and they lose, do not parade around like you and your team are God’s gift to baseball.  Remember – your team lost = not good= one game further from the pennant.

13)  Pennant Race Talk – This is acceptable in mid august thru the end of the season.  There is no pennant race the second week of April.  Doesn’t even warrant discussion. 

I’m sure there are more topics to be discussed here, but that leaves the door open to a sequel to this post.

Go Tigers! ~ Shelly