Random Musings

Seeing as how I have reached the burnout point of a teacher’s year, I have recently found it hard to string coherent thoughts together to make a cogent point.  Although I was able to argue down an eighth grader claiming that “white chocolate,” Jason Williams, was a better basketball player than Michael Jordan, I have found it difficult to both devise and support a viable column over the past few weeks.  As a result, seeing as we have reached the quarter point of this 2008 season, I decided to post some of my more random musings. 

Fantasy Blues

Besides recently taking the lead in my head-to-head student league, where I find myself once again in first place, ahead of 7 ^th , 8 ^th , and 9 ^th graders, and a math teacher; my fantasy season has been a disappointment up to this point.  In a rotisserie league, which I won two years ago and came within a few points of winning last year, I find myself in sixth place.  Victor Martinez is not hitting homeruns, and recently decided to stop hitting altogether.  Chone Figgins, whom I am relying upon for stolen bases, is on the DL with a hamstring injury.  Howie Kendrick, who was solely responsible for keeping my team average over .300, has made it clear that he loves the DL.  Carlos Beltran is hitting like he had that knee surgery yesterday.  And everyday, I see my points categorized by the front page of Yahoo Sports.  Thanks, Yahoo, for making it so clear that I dropped another three points yesterday and am now 25 points behind the leader.  That report in no way makes me want to hang out in traffic.

Yankee Blues

The rap on the Yankees going into the season was that they were going to score ridiculous amounts of runs, but their pitching was both too young and inexperienced and, simultaneously, over the hill.  Well, at forty-four games in, the “bombers” are 20-24.  Phil Hughes has a busted rib and a bloated 9.00 ERA.  Ian Kennedy continues to not impress, as he carries an 0-3 record and an 8.48 ERA.  Andy Pettitte, the guy who was supposed to lead the staff, has an ERA of 4.48, exacerbated by the fact that his opponents have a .955 OPS in innings 4-6.  So, the pitching is going according to plan.

As a team, they are hitting .255, and have scored 179 runs, putting them behind anemic teams such as the Milwaukee Brewers and the Seattle Mariners.  While most would make the excuse that they are missing catalysts like A-Rod and Jorge Posada, I would argue that the lineups they run out on the field on a daily basis have a higher payroll than the GNPs of small countries.

Ultimately, this looks like a mediocre team that is both too old and too young.  They will go on a run, as all teams do.  The question is going to be, what does that run look like?  As of right now, I am under the impression that it simply will not be enough.  Are these past three paragraphs flagrant attempts to reverse jinx the Yankees?  Absolutely.  Prove me wrong gentlemen…please.

Baseball is Clean and Sober

Because I am legally required to do so, let me be the 725,945,001 ^st writer to point out that the reason why we are seeing lots of balls hit the opposite way dying on the warning track is the advent of stringent drug tests for performance enhancers.  Have you found yourself watching a game at home, seen a ball jump off a player’s bat, and you immediately think “Gone-ski”?  Then the ball lazily flops into an outfielder’s glove 250 feet from home plate?  Weird, me too.  Odd how that happens during the season after the release of the Mitchell Report and the deserved public crucifixions of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.  By the way, I just had to pay royalties to Jose Canseco for mentioning steroid use.  His legal team must be much better than that of Clemens.

Florida Baseball…Not So Bad

If there is one thing I have learned over the past forty or so games is that the Marlins can hit the bejesus out of the ball.  As a team, the Marlins are slugging .458 and have hit 63 homeruns.  That is an average of almost 1.5 homeruns a game.  Though no one expects them to pitch—they win and lose by beer league softball scores everyday—it must be fun to go to the park to watch a team like that play.  I forgot—nobody goes to Marlins games.

In Tampa, the Rays own some of the most ridiculous young talent this side of the Mississippi (The Diamondbacks are on the other side).  Between Carl Crawford, B.J. Upton, and Carlos Pena on the offensive side; and James Shields, Scott Kazmir, and the rediscovered talents of Matt Garza and Edwin Jackson on the hill, the Tampa Bay “Beams of Light not Marine Animals” comprise a lethal dose of speed, power, and pitching.  On any given night, they can play an up-tempo, energized style of baseball, and, at the same time, make you wonder if Joe Maddon is both alive and really knows where he is.  Fans in the Tampa area must be lining up to watch this exciting team compete atop the AL East.  Oh wait, I forgot—nobody goes to Rays games.

Frickin’ Red Sox

The best thing to happen to Boston this season has to be Manny’s expiring contract.  He has appeared in 43 games and is slugging .537.  I wish Vegas had a bet like “Manny Ramirez will hit over .300 with 35+ HR and over 125 RBI in a contract year.”  I would never have to work again.  (Quick digression: Manny running down a fly ball, kicking up off the outfield wall to high five a fan, and still doubling the runner off first base has to be one of the coolest baseball highlights I have seen in ages.  It’s right up there with Bo Jackson running up the side of an outfield wall.  Say what you want about the way he carries himself, Manny Ramirez, at no point in his life, has decided to treat baseball as anything but a game.  You have to respect him for that.)  With Ortiz becoming increasingly comfortable on his surgically repaired knee, Dustin Pedroia continuing to out-Eckstein David Eckstein, and Mike Lowell just coming back off the DL, Boston’s offense remains off-the-charts scary.  Furthermore, past Cy Young winners Curt Schilling and Bartolo Colon are expected to come off the DL soon.  If either of them is a mere shade of his former self, who is going to beat this team in a short series?  (By the way, as I write this, John Lester just completed a no-hitter against the Royals…awesome)

Did I just write this paragraph to jinx the Sox?  No doubt about it.  Here’s hoping that Manny Ramirez somehow wanders into the Green Monster and finds himself on the island with the cast of Lost.  Imagine the conversations that he could have with Hurley or Sawyer.  He could be the survivors’ secret weapon, constantly befuddling Ben, and wandering into new undiscovered hatches during lulls in the action.

Cliff Lee and the Indians’ Starting Rotation

Perhaps the biggest sleeper of the season has to be Cliff Lee.  He has started eight games, pitched 59.3 innings and given up an astounding nine earned runs total.  In comparison, last season, Lee threw 97.3 innings and permitted sixty-eight earned runs.  He has been so good that in his last start, he gave up five earned over 5.1 innings, and his ERA jumped to an unparalleled 1.37.

Last week, Lee led the Indians’ starting staff in an incredible streak.  Lee, along with C.C. Sabathia, Paul Byrd, Fausto Carmona, and Aaron Laffey, did not yield a run to the opposition in 43.1 innings.  Between May 9 ^th and May 15 ^th , Cleveland starters experienced no hiccups, suffered no mistakes, and did not even cede one timely duck snort of a hit.  When you are out on that mound, so many things can go wrong—especially when your opponents happen to be the best hitters in the world—that to have five different people go through multiple starts without giving up a run is simply a feat to surpass other feats.  Ultimately, that streak is one that I will remember for quite some time.

I Saw ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Again this weekend on cable…

Honestly, it is an underrated baseball movie.  The discussion on the mound between the kid from American Pie and a mildly mentally ill Gary Busey about “pitching from the Hatu” has to be one of the most incredible cinematic experiences of all-time.  Couple that with the play-by-play of John Candy, some amazing running gags—the constantly hilarious mispronunciation of “Rowengartner”—and Daniel Stern’s immortal “hot ice” soliloquy, and you have yourself a solidly entertaining sports movie.  Perhaps, the resurfacing of that movie bodes well for the Cubs this season.  I leave that thought for your own future musings…