Happy Halladays

It being the season of giving and receiving and all that, I felt it would be a good time to ask Santa Closer (the holiday specialist) for a baseball fantasy wish list for 2010. We’re talking serious fairy dust here, so I’ll be happy if even one of these comes true.

Wish 1: For two World series games to be played in God’s sunshine on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon. In October. Networks need not be afraid of pigskin conflicts; baseball fans will tune in regardless.

Wish 2: For a fun, totally meaningless All-Star game again, with World Series home field going to either the pennant winner with the best record or the league with the better cumulative record in interleague play.

Wish 3: For Roy Halladay to be rewarded for his many years of brilliant, fruitless Toronto work with a chance to shine in a Phillie postseason.

Wish 4: For ESPN or Fox to ditch just one of their 15 prime-time Red Sox-Yankees telecasts and show a Rockies-Brewers battle. (I did say these were fantasies, right?)

Wish 5: For Tim Raines and Bert Blyleven to be elected to the Hall of Fame, along with Bill James, the most influential figure in the sport since Marvin Miller.

Wish 6: For the Cubs to hire an exorcist already.

Wish 7: For MLB to speed up games by a) limiting mound conferences, b) reducing time between pitches to 15-20 seconds, c) letting the home plate ump raise four fingers for an instant intentional walk, and d) Losing “God Bless America” during the 7th inning stretch.

Wish 8: For batters to be slapped with hefty league fines for not running hard out of the box.

Wish 9: For all scoreboards that tell fans when to cheer to be dismantled.

Wish 10: For the 29 other teams to ignore Milton Bradley when he wears out his Seattle welcome in August and let him become the crazy homeless person he aspires to.

Wish 11: For Joe Mauer to re-sign with Minnesota to prevent the next eight consecutive Yankee pennants.

Wish 12: For Vin Scully’s last telecasts to be streamed live on the Internet and become mandatory viewing for all future baseball broadcasters.

And to all…a good night.

You can find more of Jeff Polman’s work at http://1924andyouarethere.blogspot.com/ where he’s conducting a fascinating replay of the 1924 season.