Roger Clemens Unplugged: The Rocket Breaks His Silence

“Jon, it’s Roger Clemens. Did I get you at a bad time?”

It’s a phone call I’d been expecting for a couple of days—and a conversation I’d been trying to have for about a year—but yes, it was a bad time. Clemens had reached me as I was returning home on the Long Island Railroad. Tough to talk sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with rush hour commuters.

“Actually, it is a bad time, Roger,” I said. “Can you call me back in a few hours, say 9 p.m. my time?”

Clemens said sure, and I was soon spending time reviewing my notes. He was calling to discuss his appearance at a charity event in Trenton the last day in February. The charity organization is Allies, Inc. , which finds job, housing, and provides other services for people starting at age 14 with disabilities like cerebral palsy, down syndrome, and MS. The event organizer, a 46-year-old avowed Yankees fan named Mike Cestero, had called me a while back, telling me that Clemens was headlining his gig and hoping I’d be interested in writing a story.

Cestero told me Clemens would spend two hours taking pictures at his event and donating four autographed jerseys—one for each team he played on—for a silent auction. “We’re also auctioning off a round of golf with Roger in Orlando and tickets to an Astros spring training game,” Cestero said. I was intrigued. I knew Clemens did a lot of charity work, but Trenton’s a long way from Houston. And while Allies is a worthy charity, it’s hardly a household name. This was Allies’ third fundraiser; the two previous headliners were mixed martial arts stars.

Why Clemens? And how did Cestero make it happen?

“I felt Roger had been treated unfairly, and thought this would be an opportunity to get his good name out,” said Cestero, who got a call from Roger in August saying he’d do the event. “I thought he felt a connection to the materials I sent him. And I thought he saw someone who needed his help.

“So Roger is coming to help Allies. And hopefully Allies is going to help Roger.”

My cell phone rang again at 9:05. It was Clemens. He’d just finished throwing BP to his son Koby and a bunch of college players in his back yard batting cage, and was ready to talk. It’s been 10 months since Roger’s spoke to the media, and we’d agreed in advance to talk about Cestero’s charity event and see where the conversation went. So we talked about Allies, about his charity work for his foundation, about being Mr. Mom to his four sons and getting ready to send Koby back to spring training with the Astros. I was told Roger might be a bit reluctant to open up, but once I answered the phone Clemens starting talking and rarely stopped.

I asked if he was retired, he quickly said, “No comment,” then laughed. “People keep asking me that and all I can say is that I’ve retired three times, why would I have to say it again?”

The answer does matter, at least when it comes to the Astros, who signed him to a 10-year personal service contract back in 2004 which kicks in upon retirement. It hasn’t. A year ago, Astros owner Drayton McLane denied the team wanted to void the deal, but would not rule out the option. He spoke about the importance of letting Clemen’s legal issues play out. “I would not say I am working with the Astros, no,” Clemens said. “I would say it’s very informal right now.”

We talked about his Twitter account—“I need to tweet more often.”—what he misses about not playing—“The competition. I don’t miss my body aching or the icing after games.”—and the reaction he gets when he shows up to his younger sons’ games—“I’m not the Rocket, I’m Captain Video. I take the pictures, bring the band aids, wipe the tears and give the occasional pep talk.”

The conversation was easy and relaxed. He talked about how much he likes Mike Cestero and the good work Allies does, and how he hoped the weather didn’t interfere with his travel. (It didn’t.) I told him Cestero thought he hadn’t been treated fairly, and wondered how he felt about living in legal limbo—the Justice Department’s investigation into possible perjury charges from his Congressional testimony started two years ago March.

“I don’t think I’ve been in limbo,” he said quickly. “We went and did the best we could, and whether it satisfied some people or didn’t, that’s all you can do. You can get down about it, you can let people who want to come after you for different reasons break your spirit, but I won’t let that happen. The good outweighs the bad.”

Our talk was running close to an hour when I brought up Tiger Woods. The world’s most famous golfer had done his public penance on national television earlier that day, almost two years to the day that baseball’s most famous righthander had refused to apologize before Congress. I asked if he had watched Tiger’s apology.

“I saw little bits and pieces while working and throwing at the gym,” Roger said. “Like I said from the git go, to me Tiger Woods’ personal life is none of my business. I’m rooting for him to do what he has to do and get back on the golf course and entertain all of us. He’s Tiger Woods. He’s a golfer. I’ve been fortunate enough to play golf with him, play with his father. I want to see Tiger back on the golf course doing special things.”

There was time for one more. What did he think about Mark McGwire’s apology tour? “Mark’s a friend and he’s a sweetheart of a man,” Clemens said. “I didn’t  see any of his stuff. I know the soft side behind him. And I’ve gone up against him quite a bit. I want him to have peace. If Tony (LaRussa) asked him to come back to work, I think that’s pretty cool. I hope Mark doesn’t coach those guys too good because they’re in our division and I’m an Astros season ticket holder.”

I thanked Clemens for his time and we said our good byes. As I began to frame this story, I sent out a bunch of emails, looking to find consensus on Clemens and his place in history. What came back surprised me. I never thought Clemens was beloved, but the vitriol that colored most of the replies was unexpected.

“I was the biggest Roger Clemens fan alive,” wrote Seamheads.com founder Mike Lynch in an email that was typical of the few dozen I received.  “Then he left the Sox and I was bitter, mostly at Dan Duquette for forcing him out the door. When Clemens trashed the organization on his way out of town, he pissed me off. Then he talked about how wonderful Toronto was, only to spurn the Blue Jays a few years later for the Yankees. I realized then that he was a liar, so I’m not surprised that he’s denied using PEDs.  Frankly, I hope he gets nailed to the wall.

“And I don’t think a confession is going to help him.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s too late.”

(See Victor Conte, law professor Mike McCann and others discuss Clemens here .)

Is it too late for Clemens to change his legacy? It’s clearly an uphill battle, especially with his legal issues still unresolved. There’s two schools of thought on the perjury investigation. One side still thinks Clemens will be indicted. The other thinks the last thing the Obama Administration wants is another steroids-in-baseball media circus and is looking for an exit strategy. The facts to date: there has been no news in two years.

It’s also clear that baseball has turned it’s back on Clemens—don’t expect Bud Selig to give Roger the same hug he’s giving McGwire, no matter how the perjury investigation goes. After all, Clemens was the star of the Mitchell Report ; it’s hard for Bud to walk that one back. The Yankees scrubbed him from their memory in a hurry, and the Astros would rather he stay away from their spring training camp, even as Koby tries to work his way up through their system.

Has Clemens been treated unfairly as Cestero thinks? I have no idea what Clemens took or didn’t take. I have my suspicions, just as I have about many players who have not been put under the microscope. I think it’s safe to say that the use of performance enhancing drugs was widespread and well known both in and outside the game. We all turned a blind eye to what was going on, mainly because we were all having too much fun.

If I’m concerned about how the steroid era played out — and I am — I’m far more concerned with those in charge who threw Barry Bonds, Clemens and a handful of others under the bus to save themselves. No one has profited more from steroids in baseball than Selig, who sold his team for a fortune just before the steroid bubble burst and rode the popularity of a game built on PEDs to an $18 million yearly salary. Then he gave George Mitchell $20 million to pin the blamefor steroids on an angry black man and an arrogant white Texan. Anyone who believes Selig’s spiel that he’s cleaned up baseball is both naive and foolish. As Victor Conte continually tells me, drug tests are little more than IQ tests—you really have to be dumb to flunk one. And there is still no proven test for HgH.

Of even greater concern is the abuse of power by the Bush Justice Department, which bent and broke the law for personal and professional gain. And the host of Congressional committees looking to score political points while bankers took the country over the economic cliff. Just a few of the other issues the Oversight Committee chose to ignore while chasing after baseball players: Abu Ghraid, Jack Abramoff, the Valerie Plame leak, the Downey Street memo, and the Katrina response.

And the next time a Congressman points a finger at a baseball player for leading kids to steroids, ask about the DSHEA act of 1994 . This nifty little bill took the label off supplements, which now go to market without FDA approval. The result: a slew of pills stuffed with steroids, amphetamines, illicit street drugs and drugs that would otherwise require a prescription. It took the government six years to take Andro off the market after the McGwire flap. It is now classified as an anabolic steroid. The DSHEA bill passed the Senate 100-0. The majority leader? George Mitchell.

The Balco investigators gave two men caught dealing drugs a free pass so they could take down Clemens on evidence they couldn’t use in a court of law. Congress wasted taxpayer money to ask Clemens the same questions Mike Wallace asked him on 60 Minutes , then wasted plenty more running around Houston looking for evidence that Clemens lied when he said Andy Pettitte misremembered.

Given all this, I have a lot of trouble getting worked up over what Roger Clemens may or may not have used to play baseball. At least Roger Clemens entertained us. The rest of these guys scare me. And whatever you think Clemens did or did not do, he has paid a hefty price.

So where does this leave Roger? He’ll be back in the news when the government finally decides his fate. And in three years Clemens will be part of a big morality play when he, Bonds and Sosa become eligible for Hall of Fame voting. Until then he’ll probably fly under the radar, working out with his kids, looking for business opportunities, attending charity events. Two nights ago he spent a few hours with several hundred people at a nightclub in Trenton, taking pictures, shaking hands and raising thousands of dollars for a good cause. Across the street from the nightclub is the stadium of the Trenton Thunder, the Yankees AA team Clemens pitched for on his way back to New York in the spring of 2007.

It may be the closest Roger gets to his past glory for quite a while.

Outtakes:

It’s been 10 months since Roger Clemens spoke to the media. He broke his silence in an interview with me the last week of February. Find the story here . For out takes of our conversation, read on:

On retirement:“I was so happy when I started my last game in 2003, so content with everything—other than not going out with a World Series victory. Then people called, saying we need you in the clubhouse as much as we need you on the field. But I don’t miss my body aching, or the icing. I miss the competition, though. That’s why I like golf so much.”

On Tweeting:“I need to do more of it. I’m learning how to do it. I used to say where I was going and people would show up; I’m learning not to do that. I enjoy trying to interact with the fans. I had several celebrity friends – actors, good friends—who said, ‘you need to start doing it, it’s a lot of fun, we’ll tweet back.’ I’ll do more of it.”

On leaving the public eye:“I don’t think I’m ever out of the public spotlight. Whether it’s the cities I played or here at home. As far performing yes, but I’m just as busy as ever.”

On how he left the game:“You have to live and enjoy life. I’m not a person who is going to be upset about things that you cannot control. I think I said this way back when, how do you prove a negative? I’m not going to be a dead horse. I think you can say it over and over and over again, but I think people are tired of hearing about it.”

On his legal problems: “I’m not going to try to analyze it too much. I get surprised when people try to break you down as a person, even for your mannerism s. I did a three-mile run the morning I went to Congress. My face was chapped, my lips were chapped. We go over to Congress later that morning and next thing I know people get on me for licking my lips and drinking water. I mean, good Lord. Next time—hopefully there won’t be a next time—but if there is maybe I’ll just stare and not move anything but my lips.

You’re in the business of trying to please people, and you want to do good as an entertainer—that’s what we really are, entertainers. All I ever wanted to do is go out there and perform at a high level. I was fortunate to do that over 24 years. You take criticism, you use it constructively, and you continue on. I’ve always been that way, and I don’t think I will ever change.

All you can do is be yourself, and hopefully people will respect that.”