Do You Feel Lucky?

In 1995 Nicolas Cage won a Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of a man committing incremental suicide by alcohol in Leaving Las Vegas . Today a more appropriate remake might be titled Leaving Oakland , which is lacking in alliteration but an accurate description of the professional sports scene in the East Bay. Unlike Nicolas Cage, teams aren’t leaving Las Vegas; they’re leaving Oakland and going to Las Vegas.

The forthcoming move of the A’s to Las Vegas means Sin City has a full house when it comes to the major sports: the NFL, the NHL, the NBA, and finally MLB will all be represented. A number of other cities ( e.g ., Cincinnati, St. Louis, Cleveland) with longer pro sports histories are missing one or more of the big four sports.

I don’t claim to be an expert on the Las Vegas sports scene. In fact, the last time I was there all that was available was Triple-A baseball at Cashman Field and college sports at UNLV. In the mid-90s there was an indoor soccer team that lasted just two seasons but they had the inspired nickname of Dustdevils. If Las Vegas ever gets an MSL franchise, that nickname should be, well, dusted off and put to use again. Unfortunately, they’d probably go with LV United or FC Vegas or some other faux European nickname.

The Athletics’ new ballpark will not be ready till 2028. This is inconvenient, to put it mildly, as the A’s will be consigned to playing their “home” games in Sacramento from 2025 through 2027. Now for die-hard A’s fans, that’s only 80 miles from Oakland, a fairly modest road trip. Unfortunately, I don’t think the A’s caliber of play will improve during that three-year interregnum. Talent aside, team morale will likely be lacking. Also, signing free agents will be very difficult. No player worth his salt wants to play half his games in a minor league park. I won’t say the A’s are a cinch to finish last in the AL West all three years, but in essence they are just playing out the schedule starting with opening day each season. If they somehow manage to eke out a wild card appearance, it would rival the Miracle of Coogan’s Bluff.

On the other hand, Athletics’ management has been given a golden opportunity. They have plenty of time to manufacture merch and devise promotions, among other activities, before Opening Day 2028. I don’t know if the powers that be have selected a three-letter code for the Las Vegas Athletics to be used on scoreboards, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they chose LAS, the airport code, since the Harry Reid (f/k/a McCarran) International Airport is just around the corner from the new ballpark site.

It’s way too early to speculate on what the 2028 A’s roster will look like, but I suspect once they have set up shop in Las Vegas, attracting free agents will be much easier. Also, Las Vegas should shoot to the top of the list of players’ favorite road cities. The combination of young men with free time and plenty of discretionary income means visiting players will not be sitting around their hotel rooms ordering room service, watching TV, or playing magic fingers with their smartphones.

While the rules of baseball will apply in Las Vegas as they do in every other MLB town, the peculiarities of LV include a host of features that should make for a unique fan experience. That’s important because in Vegas the A’s will face plenty of competition for entertainment dollars. The pizazz quotient is much higher than in Cleveland, Detroit, or St. Louis.

Now you might think that gambling (I believe gaming is the preferred term in Las Vegas) at the ballpark would be a no-no, even in Las Vegas. But it shouldn’t be. Haven’t you ever been to a ballgame where they promote a 50/50 raffle?  Sounds like gambling/gaming to me. Oh, it’s for charity, you say, so that’s different. Well, you know what they say about where charity begins, so what’s wrong with placing a bet that enriches only the gambler/gamer and not some third party?

I’m guessing Rob Manfred would put the kibosh on most if not all of my suggestions, but in the interest of enhancing the fan experience, I offer the following:

Slot machines are ubiquitous in Las Vegas. Even supermarkets have them and there are more than 1,000 in the airport. Is there any good reason why they couldn’t be at the ballpark?  Yeah, I know, kids will be in attendance but adult beverages are also available at ballparks where kids are in attendance, and that’s never been a problem. Slots are particularly suitable for baseball. Imagine a long row of slots facing the field and just behind the last row of seats on the main concourse. The time it takes to drop a coin in the slot, pull the lever, and see the results is roughly equivalent to the time between pitches. You could play your machine all through the game and never miss any of the action on the field!  And if slots are legal at the ballpark, I predict Las Vegas will be one MLB city that will buck the cashless trend. As a corollary, I suggest a battery of animatronic Howard Hughes figures that function as ATMs.

Blackjack tables would surely be an amenity in any of the private dining rooms that seem to be de rigueur in new ballparks. A hand of blackjack could easily be played between innings or during pitching changes.

Relocating the World Series of Poker to the new ballpark and scheduling it to coincide with the MLB World Series would bring people to the ballpark even if the A’s aren’t within shouting distance of a pennant.

Showgirls moonlighting as ball girls?  Retrieving foul balls in those get-ups might be a bit awkward. Personally, I would not be offended by toplessness but I realize some fans would consider it inappropriate. Also, might have to nix the stiletto heels if the ballpark has an artificial surface; on real grass, they would help aerate the turf, however. On the whole, I think showgirl ball girls would be a unique feature the franchise could take pride in. After all, any ballpark can have statues outside the ballpark, but only Las Vegas would have statuesque ball girls inside the ballpark!

Imagine a team mascot named Southpaw. On the other hand, Lefty might be even more appropriate, not as a tribute to Steve Carlton but to Lefty Rosenthal, the real-life Las Vegas oddsmaker and casino boss who was the basis for the Robert DeNiro character in Casino . Since all mascots have pot bellies, Lefty could hide his right arm in his distended abdomen and wield a six-shooter in his left hand. Put a bandana over his face and presto – a one-armed bandit!  In any kind of mascot competition, he could defeat the Philly Phanatic or Mr. Met with one hand tied behind his back!  Well…on the other hand…I mean, on second thought…maybe not.

When changing pitchers, how about a mock-up of a slot machine on the video board?  A virtual lever is activated and three wheels loaded with portraits of the A’s bullpen corps start spinning, eventually all three coming to rest on the pitcher entering the game. Or how about a spinning roulette wheel with a mini-baseball that comes to rest on the number of the new pitcher?

Sportsbooks are a staple of Las Vegas gambling. Would an in-stadium sports book be a good idea for the Athletics?  You betcha!  In fact, why not devote the entire ribbon board to it?  Imagine a non-stop chyron of sports contests and odds from the minute the gates open till a half hour or so after the game!

Las Vegas wasn’t incorporated till 1911, so it doesn’t have much of a deadball era history. Nevertheless, a neat retro touch would be a “No Betting” sign like they had in major league bleachers back in the early 20 ^th Century. Of course, underneath in smaller type would be “Just kidding.”

I don’t know what they have in mind for the batter’s eye at the new ballpark, but I would suggest they take a page from Globe Life Park, the Rangers’ previous home field which was put out to pasture (at least for baseball) after the 2019 season. The batter’s eye there was an inviting, immaculate grassy berm but it was off-limits to fans. Such a feature would be apt in Las Vegas but only with “NO GAMBOLING” signs posted.

Even if the commish or any of the MLB high sheriffs nix the above suggestions for the ballpark, the possibilities for merch and promotions are also intriguing. Some minor league teams are renowned for their quirky promotions. Perhaps the A’s could hire a promotion director away from one such team. Say, what’s Mike Veeck doing these days?

Here are a few suggestions for “Only in Vegas” merch or giveaways:

One free Keno card with every ticket purchased

Bugsy Siegel bobbleheads

Rat Pack trading cards

A Frank Sinatra dice giveaway: on every facet of each die there is an eyeball with a blue iris, thus evoking both Old Blue Eyes and snake eyes with every roll

Speaking of eyes, how about a replica of Sammy Davis, Jr.’s glass eyeball with an A’s logo for a pupil?  A great late summer back-to-school promotion for pupils headed back to the classroom

Replica (plastic) brass knuckles

Mother’s Day giveaway – discount coupons good for breast augmentation surgery

Father’s Day giveaway – BOGO coupons (simultaneously or in tandem) for the Chicken Ranch – (17 beds, no waiting)

Half-pint skim milk giveaway – a great way to commemorate the skim that mobsters used to take away from the casino proceeds

Discount coupons from a local pest control company as a tribute to Tony the Ant Spilotro (the basis for the Joe Pesci character in Casino )

In the team shop, instead of selling game-used bats, they could offer mob-used bats, certified to have been used to bludgeon some luckless wise guy before he was buried in the desert.

Let’s not forget Las Vegas in the 1950s when hotels held watch parties for mushroom clouds during atomic bomb tests. If pyrotechnic designers could simulate a mushroom cloud for 4 ^th of July fireworks displays at the new ballpark, that would be a uniquely Vegas attraction. Might be easier to have a giveaway of “atomic mushrooms” fresh from the local farmers market. Throw in a little fluorescent food coloring, and they can say, “Our mushrooms not only grow in the dark, they glow in the dark!”

Yet another atomic tie-in: When the scoreboard puts up “NOISE” on the video board you could have an animated Geiger counter with readings going higher and higher as the crowd noise mounts. Of course, given the way the world is trending in 2024, atomic radiation humor may be out of vogue by 2028.

The Athletics are the only franchise to have four locations in the modern era. To reflect that unique status, how about a giveaway of a plastic four-leaf clover with Philly, KC, Oakland, and Las Vegas on the petals?  Now that I think of it, it’s doubly appropriate, since all four cities hosted organized crime as well as Athletics baseball!

As far as I know, every major league ballpark offers tours, and I’m sure Las Vegas will be no exception. The one difference might be exiting through the casino as opposed to exiting through the gift shop.

Let’s not forget the naming rights to the new ballpark. One of the iconic casinos would be a natural. Flamingo Field or Bellagio Ballpark has a nice ring to it. Of course, Las Vegas is not exactly awash in history, baseball or otherwise. Still, I think it presents a rare opportunity to pay tribute to the old Cincinnati Palace of the Fans (1902-1911), reimagined as Caesar’s Palace of the Fans. Perhaps they could persuade the Big Red Machine’s Cesar Geronimo (80 years old on opening day in 2028) to cut the ribbon at the opening ceremony. Harrah’s Park would be another option – we could even get Toby Harrah, the only big league player ever with that surname (he’ll be 79 on opening day of 2028) to throw out the first ball on opening day.

Yet another possibility would be Tropicana Field. I know, I know, they already have one of those in St. Petersburg, but the Tampa Bay Rays are also in the market for a new ballpark so the name Tropicana will soon be up for grabs. Since the A’s new ballpark will be at the intersection of Las Vegas Boulevard and Tropicana Avenue (it will be built on the site of the old Tropicana casino/resort), it would be a perfect match-up for the Tropicana name. In that regard, a good secondary nickname for the A’s would be the Juice Men. In underworld argot, a juice man is a loan shark, thus making the moniker doubly appropriate at Tropicana Field in Las Vegas.

Whatever they call it, the new Las Vegas ballpark would be the ideal venue to honor the two most illustrious baseballists left out of the Hall of the Fame because of gambling scandals. I refer, of course, to Pete Rose and Joe Jackson.

Now I know Pete Rose has been banned from MLB for life. But how about the infrastructure surrounding the ballpark?  Could we have a Pete Rose Trail?  A Pete Rose Circle?  Or how about Pete Rose Lane?  Life’s a holiday on Pete Rose Lane!

Joe Jackson offers a different challenge. It’s debatable whether or not he helped throw or was enriched by gamblers tempting him to throw the 1919 World Series. But he was banned for life by Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis. And if second thoughts about Joe Jackson are in order, he could be posthumously exonerated at a White Sox-A’s contest. Several giveaway possibilities present themselves. The obvious one would be a pair of black socks. Just as appropriate would be mini-bats of Black Betsy, Joe’s famous war club. A pair of flip-flops (admittedly, they are footwear but they are definitely not shoes) might be another idea. A Shoeless Joe baccarat shoe would be a great collectible. Shouldn’t be hard to find a casino willing to sponsor that.

Consider that the A’s started in the Quaker City in 1901 and now they are setting up shop in Sin City. Could you come up with a better metaphor for the transformation of American society over the last 125 years?

Of course, the ultimate question pertaining to the A’s move to Las Vegas involves the city’s code of silence. Consider the possibility of Hangover -style scenarios involving visiting MLB ballplayers. Will what happens to ballplayers in Vegas stay in Vegas?

If you believe network commentators and sportswriters will toe the line on that, have I got a long shot for you in the third race at Santa Anita!