Napoleon: Sunrise Get up in the mornin' You know, I think it's mornin' Sun is shinin' bright I'm gonna get outside Gonna wash my face Grab my hat Put it on my head I take a walk downtown Yeah-hey . . . Because I feel so-oh good I think I'm gonna take a walk downtown Hey! Sunlight! Wo! Somethin' I never seen before Been a-walkin' down the street every day Nobody like you ever passed my way Maybe there must be too much sun Couldn't be my hat, must be too much . . . Wait a minute! What's that you . . . ? What's that? What . . . ? What's that? What . . . ? What's that? What . . . ?
FZ: Dummy Up
Napoleon: What is that? I know what that is, I know what that is . . . I bet you that's a restaurant menu . . . Let me see! Let me see!
Jeff: Not only do you get the Desenex burger . . . not only the Desenex burger . . . but you are in for a real treat, Jim Napoleon: Wait a minute, I think I like that dance better than this . . . What are you talkin' about, creep? Jeff: What I'm talkin' about is you've been in this killer fog down here too long Napoleon: What? Jeff: You need somethin' to get up and go to school with Napoleon: Wait a minute, you're not talkin' to an old fool now, you know, I wasn't born yesterday! FZ: (Heh heh heh!) Napoleon: Wait a minute . . . I think I'll take . . . Jeff: I like that little dance you were doin' down there . . . FZ: Jeff Simmons tries to corrupt Napoleon Murphy Brock by showing him a lewd dance and suggesting that he'd smoke a high-school diploma . . . Napoleon: Hey! What you . . . what you . . . ? Wait a minute! Jeff: Hey this, this stuff . . . Napoleon: I've never seen one of these before . . . that's not a menu? Jeff: This stuff is expensive Napoleon: What is that? Jeff: You shoot it, you'll conserve all winter Napoleon: I do what? Jeff: It last longer FZ: Not only do you get the Desenex burger Napoleon: No . . . no . . . Jeff: Now come on, try it Napoleon: No, no, no Jeff: It's really good Napoleon: No . . . Smoke THAT?! Jeff: Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever seen you before? Napoleon: I don't, I don't even know you! Jeff: Look . . . Napoleon: I don't even know what that is! Jeff: Just bef . . . Napoleon: And you're tellin' me to smoke it?! Jeff: Just before, we smoked the tapes that you made Napoleon: Smoked the tapes? Jeff: Smoked the tapes of your group Napoleon: I think I'd rather dance Jeff: You can really get off! Let's try a joint of this Napoleon: A WHAT?! Jeff: A joint! Napoleon: You mean this kinda joint? Jeff: No, man! Where you been in livin'? Reseda? Napoleon: No, San Jose FZ: The evil dope pusher is cutting up a white gym sock, formerly owned by Carl Zappa and still damp. The shredded sock will be placed inside of a high-school diploma And ignited with a sulphur preparation . . . Napoleon: Wait a minute . . . FZ: His first taste of big city life Napoleon: That's okay, wait a minute . . . wait . . . (DUMMY UP . . . ) Jeff: Hey! The roach of this is really gonna be good, so I'll save it . . .
Napoleon: What d'you do with that thing? What do you do with that thing that you have? Wait a minute Wait a minute Wait a minute What do you do With that thing? I wanna know
Napoleon: Wait a minute FZ: Now the next step of this operation Napoleon: Wait a minute! FZ: The evil corrupter of youth is going to take him from Step One, which is a mere high-school diploma stuffed with a gym sock, to Step Two, which is a college-degree stuffed with absolutely nothing at all. Smoke that and it'll really get you out there!
Napoleon: I still don't feel as good as I felt this mornin' . . . yeah yeah . . .
FZ: You'll grow out of it . . .
Jeff: DUMMY UP!
Napoleon: I heard it again, somebody said . . .
Jeff: You see this?
Napoleon: What d'you mean? College!
FZ: College!
Jeff: That's college-rhythm
Napoleon: You mean if I smoke that It's the same as if . . . As if I was at college? Roll it over up! Roll it over up! Roll it over up! Gimme a . . .
FZ: No no, the college-degree is stuffed with absolutely nothing at all, you get . . . you get nothing with your college-degree . . .
Napoleon: Oh . . . But that's what I want
FZ: . . . I forgot, I'm sorry
Napoleon: Well, You get nothin', But that's what I want
FZ: A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want . . . The results of a higher education!