There's a ship arriving too late To save a drowning witch She was swimmin' along Tryin' to keep a date With a Merchant Marine Who told her he was really rich But it doesn't matter no more... She's on the ocean floor 'N the water's all green down there 'N it's not very clean down there 'N water snakes 'N rusty wrecks Is all that she can see As the light goes dim And she's tryin' to swim Will she make it? (Boy, we sure hope so...)
Not even a witch oughta be caughrt On the bottom of America's spew-infested Waterways, hey-hey... She could get radiation all over her She could mutate insanely... She could mutate insanely... (that's right) She could go on the freeway and grow up to be 15 feet tall And scary-lookin' And then... Cars could crash all over the place As a result of people with Hawaiian shirts on... Lookin' up to see her face
Sardines in her eyebrows... Lobsters up 'n down her forehead All of them HORRIBLY LARGE FROM RADIATION ... And smelling very bad And DANGEROUS!
Maybe a submarine could save her, And bring her home to the Navy... For some kind of ritual sacrifice...