[Tower Theater, Upper Darby, PA February 12, 1988 & Warner Theatre, Washington DC February 9, 1988 & Music Hall, Cleveland, Ohio March 5, 1988 & Falkoner Teatret, Copenhagen, Denmark April 25, 1988]
Broadway The Hard Way, ladies and gentlemen! Broadway The Hard Way!
You are the girl Somebody invented In a grim little office On Madison Ave.
They were specific They made you terrific: Red lips; Blue eyes; Blonde hair; Un-wise - You're All-American, And, darling, they said so
YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME, WOULDN'T YOU, BABY? YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME, WOULDN'T YOU, BABY? SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BRAIN, LET ME JUST EXPLAIN: ANY KIND OF PAIN IS NEVER A MAYBE
What?
Her head's full of bubbles; Her nose is petite! She looks like she never Gets nothin' to eat!
'N she dines with actors, 'N Wall Street characters: Dull talk; Nice clothes - See her? She blows - (She's so important 'Cause he gets to do talk shows -)
SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME, WOULDN'T SHE, BOBBY? (Yeah, she would!) SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME, WOULDN'T SHE, BOBBY? SINCE SHE HAVEN'T GOT A NAME, LET ME JUST EXPLAIN: ANY KIND OF PAIN IS PROB'LY HER HOBBY
No . . . ow-ow-ow-oh . . . no . . .
She has moved up now; She's come a long way - They give her bunches Of words she can say!
When she's in a bold mood, "Confinement Loaf" sounds good - That's right, She's wrong! Let's end Her song
(It seems she's everywhere We just can't escape her - Is this a miracle of pure evolution? And all the yuppie boys, they dream they will rape her - She brings the BUS RIDE To a thrilling conclusion!)
YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS TAME AS ME, ISN'T SHE TENDER? YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS LAME AS ME, LET US REMEMBER, SHE GETS ONLY HALF THE BLAME ONLY HALF THE BLAME ONLY HALF THE BLAME UNLESS WE EXTEND HER -