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What the Patriots jersey you wear to a Super Bowl party says about you
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- What the Patriots jersey you wear to a Super Bowl party says about you
Buying a New England Patriots jersey is an investment — and a personality test.
Listen, if you’re going to drop $160 on a piece of clothing, you’ve got to put a lot of thought into it. You’re basically broadcasting your endorsement of a player to the world.
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The timing matters almost as much as the player. If you’re wearing a Rodney Harrison jersey, you’re telling everyone that you’ve been backing this team since about 2004. If you’re wearing a newer jersey, you might be taken as a newer fan.
For those going to Super Bowl parties this weekend, here’s a look at what the jersey you choose to wear says about you:
Drake Maye , No. 10— You’re not too proud to order cheese pizza or vanilla ice cream. You know what you like and just want to be involved in following the team.
Tom Brady , No. 12— The ol’ reliable. Who cares if you bought this back in 2011? Jerseys are crazy expensive and you’re going to wear this until it falls apart.
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Mac Jones , No. 10— You recently explained to someone that Jones’ 2025 numbers with the 49ers were just about as good as Brock Purdy ’s. They did not ask you about this.
A No. 10 Mac Jones jersey where you patched over the nameplate to say “Maye”— When you go to a game, you always use the free delayed exit parking.
Mike Vrabel, No. 50— People will question whether you’ve had this jersey for 20 years or 20 days. To be fair, it’s the perfect bandwagon camouflage.
Tedy Bruschi, No. 54— You’re watching the person in the Mike Vrabel jersey and wondering how long they’ve had it.
Rob Gronkowski , No. 87— “Is a 30-pack of Bud Light going to be enough? No, you’re right. I’ll grab two more.”
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Julian Edelman , No. 11— Any time there’s a screen pass thrown out to a wide receiver, part of you gets really excited at the possibility of it being a double pass.
Randy Moss, No. 18— You’ve spent the past 15 years saying, “You know what this team really needs? A No. 1 wide receiver who can take the top off the defense.”
John Hannah, No. 73— You’re basically Bane from Batman. “Oh, you think a pair of 4-13 seasons was hard? I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see a playoff win until I was already a man.”
TreVeyon Henderson , No. 32— You saw his 100-yard kick return in the preseason and thought, “I’ve seen enough.”
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Mack Hollins , No. 13— You’re showing up with a crazy wig and carrying in three glass bottles so you can do the “Warriors, come out to play!” reference. Most people will be confused and annoyed, but 1-2 people will really enjoy it.
Rhamondre Stevenson , No. 38— “You all gave up on him! Yeah, he had a few fumbles! But look at him now! I was the only one who had faith!”
Will Campbell , No. 66— You get really worked up when people ask about Campbell’s arm length. “He’s already proven the doubters wrong!”
Hunter Henry , No. 85— You watched every game from the past two seasons and are just happy the team is better this year.
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Ben Coates, No. 87— Fans aged 50 and above regularly come up to you and say, “Hey, Ben Coates! There’s a guy who doesn’t get enough love.”
Vince Wilfork , No. 75— Same as above, except for fans aged 25-49.
Christian Gonzalez , No. 0- You have strong opinions about Gonzalez being snubbed from the All-Pro teams. You daydream often about his interception in the snow against Denver .
Stefon Diggs , No. 8— This felt like a great purchase a few weeks ago. Now you’re hoping no one asks about his criminal charges .
Christian Barmore , No. 90— You’re hoping someone shows up in a Stefon Diggs jersey just so you get fewer questions.
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Jerod Mayo , No. 51— Mixed emotions.
Steve Grogan, No. 14— “You’re a Patriots fan, huh? Name three guys who played on the ‘86 team that went to the Super Bowl.”
Troy Brown , No. 80— You’ve seen this team win more than you ever thought you would. You don’t get too worked up. You’re just happy to watch.
Ty Law, No. 24- You saw Bill Belichick get snubbed by the Hall of Fame and you’re ready to tell everyone why Bill Polian is behind it all. These people will not know who Bill Polian is.
Matthew Slater , No. 18: You clap politely for opposing teams instead of booing. It’s just good sportsmanship.
Devin McCourty , No. 32— You are the local Patriots encyclopedia. Your friends and family know you track every move, so they come to you for analysis.
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David Andrews , No. 60— You’re wondering why no one is talking about how big Garrett Bradbury has been for this team.
Curtis Martin, No. 28— “Yeah, Klavon Chaisson has been great, but they’re never gonna pay him enough to bring him back next year.”
Drew Bledsoe: You take any and all opportunities to remind people that the Patriots didn’t win the Super Bowl in 2001 without his performance in the AFC Championship Game.
Efton Chism III , No. 86- You retired your Wes Welker , Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman jerseys. Now you’re trying to be first on the bandwagon for the next scrappy little wide receiver.
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Rodney Harrison, No. 37— Every time the refs throw a flag for a hit on a defenseless receiver, you yell, “Well, what is he supposed to do!?”
Milton Williams , No. 97— You’re going to be tense the entire game. You will not celebrate unless the game clock has hit zero and you’ve waited four minutes for a potential review.
destinations
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