Moving is no picnic. In fact, it's one of the most stressful life events a person can go through , ranking up there with the death of a loved one and divorce. However, people move every day, and it's likely something that you'll do multiple times in your life. If you've got a move coming up, you're probably experiencing some sort of anxiety or a sense of uneasiness about the decision, and you're not alone.
According to a mover report from Zillow , 55% of movers said they felt stress during their most recent move, with around 76% of movers saying they "held back" their move due to emotional factors surrounding the moving process itself. Being stressed or anxious about your move is completely normal, but there are methods you can use to tackle that anxiety head-on. These are seven ways to help you cope with the anxiety about your upcoming move, according to licensed mental health professionals.
Why does moving anxiety happen?
Moving anxiety is a feeling of stress or nervousness associated with relocation. Packing up everything you own and moving to a new location that you're unfamiliar with can naturally be a bit intimidating. You're literally uprooting your life and putting it somewhere else.
Kaitlyn Steel, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Keystone Therapy Group , said the biggest thing that brings about moving anxiety is simply the fear of the unknown. "There's so much to moving, and you don't really even know what you don't know that you don't know," she told Yahoo Local. "It's just so much."
Even if you're already familiar with your new destination, the moving process in general can be mentally taxing. You have to hire a moving company (or figure out how to move yourself), get utilities set up, pack up your home, and so much more.
Along with the financial and logistical stress of your move, there's likely going to be some emotional stress as well. Erik Larson, a board-certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner and owner of Larson Mental Health , said there tend to be significant feelings of loss and grief during a move. "Even if you're moving for a great opportunity, you're still leaving the comfort and security of what you know," he told us. "That feeling of being kind of unattached or unmoored is very uncomfortable a lot of the time."
Saying goodbye to friends and family isn't easy, and for some, it's one of the hardest parts of the moving process. If you're moving far enough away, sometimes it can feel like you'll never see or hear from them again, regardless of whether or not they're a phone call away. Larson said that while you aren't necessarily losing your family, there's a feeling of loss that people experience from not being able to spend as much time with them as you normally would.
7 ways to cope with moving anxiety
1. Validate your feelings
It might sound silly, but one of the best things you can do for yourself when dealing with moving anxiety is to validate and externalize your feelings. "Give yourself some space to be realistic about what you're actually feeling," Steel said. Thoughts like "this sucks" or "this is really hard" are perfectly valid in this type of situation. You might even start to feel alone, but just keeping these thoughts confined in your head isn't super helpful. Talking with family, friends or even saying it out loud to yourself can help you process these feelings by externalizing them. Venting helps for a reason.
"Any time you're making a major decision, you're going to have moments where you're like, 'What the heck am I doing?'," Steel added.
You might be doubting or second-guessing yourself, and these unwelcome thoughts could lead you to postpone or cancel the move entirely. In these moments, Steel said it's important to dig deep and ask yourself again why you're making this change. What's the reasoning that led you to think this is a good idea? You likely didn't make such a life-changing decision on a whim — it was probably well thought through.
Acknowledging these thoughts and reminding yourself exactly why you're moving can help combat these feelings of anxiety. Steel said you should also cut yourself some slack. Moving is scary, and you can guess all you want about how things are going to go, but you'll never really know until you get there.
"There's always going to be unknown," she said. "Even if you stayed where you were and didn't move, you still wouldn't know exactly how this would turn out."
2. Start preparing early
Moving can sometimes feel like a bit of a logistical nightmare. There's just so much to do and what feels like so little time, and that crushing weight of a deadline hanging over your head certainly doesn't help. The best thing you can do? Start prepping for your move as early as you can.
"Start packing and preparing to move earlier than you ever would think you need to," Larson said. "You always end up with less time than you think."
Simply being prepared can help ease your anxiety about the move more than you think. Create a moving checklist to keep tasks organized and check things off as you go. Pack things in boxes early, even if you're moving date isn't for months. If you know you want to hire a moving company, start calling for moving estimates sooner rather than later, especially since you want to give them as much notice as possible. Call your utility companies to make sure essentials like water, electricity and internet are switched on in your new home by day one.
Putting things off until the last minute makes that preexisting stress even worse. The last thing you want is to only have one room packed up, and your move is less than a week away.
3. Maintain self-care routines
In high stress situations, basic body maintenance tasks like eating, drinking and sleeping can sometimes go out the window. But trying to maintain a normal routine is extremely important. Moving is a chaotic process, and trying to keep up your normal exercise, eating and sleeping habits can help you feel grounded.
"The move is going to disrupt things, but try to keep some normalcy," Larson said. "Don't allow it to overtake every aspect of your life, because that's just going to make it exceptionally worse."
Make an attempt to eat the same foods you normally would under different circumstances, and go to bed at the same time. It's also important to know when to take breaks. While you're packing, do something that makes you happy. Maybe that's turning on an old favorite reality TV show to watch in the background, or talking with a friend or family member on the phone. Even something as simple as lighting a candle or two can make a difference in your home's atmosphere.
4. Remind yourself of your strengths
Feeling a bit anxious about your upcoming move doesn't make you weak or incapable of adapting to change. Reminding yourself of what you're good at can help foster a positive attitude. Maybe you consider yourself super resourceful, or you know that you're an outgoing person who loves meeting new people. Odds are that you've even overcome stressful or difficult situations in the past.
"Those skills and those personality characteristics are going to be present no matter where you're at," Steel said. She also says that we have a lot more authority in our lives than we realize, and just reminding ourselves of that can impact the outcome of a situation. It's not going to be easy. Whether you're moving across the country or just down the street, there's still going to be quite a bit of adjustment. But you're more capable of adapting to new situations than you might initially think.
"We often forget to remind ourselves that we are a lot more successful than we think we are," Steel added.
5. Enlist help
Asking for help can be difficult, but during such a tough life transition, it's important to reach out for some assistance. This can be asking the grandparents to watch the kids while you pack, or having some friends over to help you pack a few boxes.
"Enlist some help from some people you know, and don't be afraid to ask some people to give you a hand," Larson said. "Even if they're not loading the truck or doing physical labor, just have them around to be there for you."
If you've got the money, hiring a professional mover can be a huge help with most of the moving labor. Trying to tackle everything on your own further reinforces feelings of stress and anxiety. Odds are, the people who really care about you will be happy to help. You just need to ask.
6. Start making positive changes
Moving doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. On the contrary, it's a great opportunity to make positive, habitual changes in your life. "When you move to a new house or new place, your body and your brain are kind of primed to do all kinds of things differently," Larson said. "So if there are positive changes you want to make in your life, that is a spectacular time to do it."
Think of it like you're getting a fresh start in your life, or a New Year's resolution. Maybe you want to eat better, quit smoking or start going to the gym. You could even attempt a new hobby or sport that you've always wanted to. Whatever these positive changes look like to you, now's the perfect moment to put those plans into action.
7. Communicate with your kids as early as possible
If you're anxious about the move, your kids are probably pretty nervous too. Unlike adults, kids don't get much say in what's going on or where they're going. The move is likely going to bring up feelings of anger, sadness and even resentment toward you, Larson said. They're leaving behind their friends, school and their old home that was once a place of comfort and security. And while these negative feelings are not what you want to hear as a parent, your kids' emotions are perfectly valid.
One of the best things you can do when moving with kids is to tell them you're planning to move as soon as you have an official moving date. "Talk about it early and often," Larson said. "Give them the chance to express all their concerns and everything that they're worried about."
Steel recommends giving your kids something to look forward to at the new destination. Show them pictures of the house and anything that your child might find new or interesting. Maybe their new bedroom will be bigger, or the new house will have a pool or garden. Making custom changes to their new bedroom can also help them feel more open about a new space. Let them choose the paint color for their room, or offer to get them a new bed set.
The big thing to remember about moving with kids is that communication is key. Tough conversations are tough for a reason, but you aren't doing your kids any favors by shying away from them.
What to avoid when dealing with moving anxiety
One of the things you shouldn't do is overthink your move. It's important to be prepped and ready to go, but you also need to be ready for when things go wrong, Larson said. Accidents happen, and things get lost or broken during moves all the time. It's not an ideal scenario, but you need to be ready to accept that not everything will go according to plan.
You also don't want to burn bridges on your way out, Steel said. It might be tempting to cut ties with certain people during the moving process, especially if you have no intentions of coming back to the area. Steel says you might start to notice you have less tolerance for friends or people in your life that you find a little irritating. She says that this is when fights start to happen. "It's easier to leave if you've broken off relationships," Steel said. "It's harder to leave if you've maintained them."
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