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Arch Manning mania has Texas football coach Steve Sarkisian reaching new level of silly
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- Arch Manning mania has Texas football coach Steve Sarkisian reaching new level of silly
First came the hype . Then came the fizzle . Next, some sizzle.
Now, the grimace. And, plop, here we are.
Arch Manning mania sank to new depths this week, like a giant – ahem, sorry, why don't I just let Texas coach Steve Sarkisian take it from here.
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Asked whether Manning might be playing through injury, Sarkisian responded with a musing about what media members must look while taking care of business on the toilet.
This wasn't one of those fake AI news conference moments. I triple checked. This happened.
For perhaps the first time in history, a college football coach dedicated microphone time to toilet talk and bathroom facial expressions.
One can only hope any future Mannings become chess prodigies or operate a Porta-John company, because I'm not sure the college football spin cycle can handle a fourth generation of Manning quarterbacks.
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We've already sunk to the bottom of the bowl, and we're just two games into Manning's redshirt sophomore season.
Texas quarterback Arch Manning (16) reacts after getting hit by San Jose State linebacker Taniela Latu (4) during the second half at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium.
Before the season began, ESPN personality Paul Finebaum predicted Manning would be college football's greatest player since Tim Tebow . He got one thing right, anyway. The fascination with Manning has reached Tebow-like proportions.
Tebow once famously fielded a preseason question about whether he'd ever had sex . And he answered the question, too , confirming he's a virgin. It's a wonder Tebow's coach, Urban Meyer, didn't speculate about what the provocateur reporter who asked about Tebow's virginity must look like while on the toilet.
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(Tebow's not a virgin anymore, by the way. He's married and a new dad.)
Manning stunk it up for most of Texas' opener at Ohio State , but there was nothing foul about his performance in Part Deuce against San Jose State . He played fine, and Texas kept its season afloat by trouncing the Spartans.
So, how did the conversation head to the can?
Well, Manning grimaced while throwing a bad pass at the feet of his receiver in the game against San Jose State. He's since told reporters he feels fine and that the grimace probably was just a subconscious expression, but, the internet, doing what it does best, launched into rampant speculation. Is Manning injured? Why did he grimace? *Cat video*
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So, a reporter attempted to ask Sarkisian at his weekly news conference whether his quarterback is playing through pain.
"According to who?" Sarkisian demanded to know.
According to the geniuses on the internet, duh.
What gives, coach? Is Manning OK?
Why can't he let one rip without grimacing?
"He doesn't have any" throwing pain, Sarkisian continued.
OK, fair enough. But, that's when stuff got a little bizarre. Sarkisian pivoted into a strained attempt at humor that sounded sort of pinched.
"I've never filmed any of you guys when you're using the bathroom," Sarkisian said, "so I don't know what faces you make when you're doing that."
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He could probably guess.
What can I say, discussions involving Manning are not for those with a leaky gut.
A couple of days ago, I laid out the case that Manning is neither a stink bomb, nor a transcendent talent. Perhaps, he's just an average to a notch above average quarterback.
One reader became so enraged by this opinion that he threatened to contact my family and friends and inform them that I'm an utter disgrace. I might save him the trouble. I'm thinking his email would make for a tremendous headline item in our family's Christmas newsletter, which makes for good bathroom reading.
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If we take Sarkisian and Manning at their word, and he's not in pain, then maybe he's making faces because his mechanics get out of whack on some passes.
Sarkisian acknowledged some mechanical issues from Manning against Ohio State.
Manning didn't have his feet positioned properly on certain throws. That forced him into more of a sidearm delivery, "which isn't his style of throwing," Sarkisian said.
"If he can get his feet aligned and get his shoulders aligned, that can help with some of his accuracy," Sarkisian said before the San Jose State game.
Probably would reduce some grimacing, too.
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Anyway, I'm ready to flush this topic. Manning mania already has become quite silly.
And we've only just made it through Week Number Two.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network's senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer .
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Arch Manning mania at Texas has Steve Sarkisian talking silly
