News item: The Tennessee Titans have selected Robert Saleh as their new coach.
Reaction: Buckle up, folks.
Saleh and Jacksonville Jaguars coach Liam Coen, of course, engaged in a brief confrontation after the Jaguars' win over the San Francisco 49ers on Sept. 28 , three days after Saleh felt he was complimenting the Jaguars' coaching staff for how they "legally" decipher an opponent's defensive signals .
"They have a really advanced signal stealing-type system where they always find a way to put themselves in an advantageous situation," said Saleh, who was the 49ers' defensive coordinator.
Coen took umbrage, feeling Saleh was questioning the Jaguars ' integrity.
Saleh and Coen will have no choice but to cross paths when the NFL gathers in Phoenix for the Annual Meeting in March.
Here is how their first conversation might go …
Commissioner Roger Goodell:Fellas, I don't want any of my head coaches sniping at each other. It's time to settle your differences. For precautionary purposes, each of you will have a representative in your corner, I mean, by your side. Liam, you have Tony Boselli. Robert, I have flown in your best new player, defensive tackle Jeffery Simmons .
Boselli:"What's with the referee shirts?"
Goodell:"Remember, we're in the entertainment business."
Saleh:"Good to see you, Liam …"
Coen:"Keep my name out of your mouth."
(Boselli and Simmons both laugh).
Simmons:"I like this Coen dude. Tony, any chance the Titans would trade me to you guys?"
Boselli:"Believe me, we've tried."
Goodell:"OK, I'm going to leave you guys to get on the same page."
Coen:"You're not staying?"
Goodell:"I'm off to convince the owners we need to play an International Series game in Antarctica."
Simmons:"Only the best travel agent in the world could sell that trip."
Goodell:"I'll be back to check in later."
Saleh:"Liam, I looked for you in Indianapolis at the combine. I went to every Starbucks in the downtown area and even the White Castle by the stadium. Where were you?"
Coen:"I was busy back in Jacksonville helping finalize the trade for Maxx Crosby and signing my contract extension. But I'm here now so start talking."
Saleh:"Can I explain the context of my contents from last September?"
Coen:"Roger said I have to listen so ..."
Saleh:"When I said you and your staff were 'really advanced' in signal stealing, I meant it as a compliment."
Coen:"I don't believe you, but keep going."
Saleh:"I did say there was nothing illegal about it."
Coen:"So why did you say it? Oh, I know: You couldn't believe how well we had been playing offensively in the first few games of the season. You thought we had to be cheating even though it's allowed. Tell me I'm wrong."
Saleh:"Well, it did seem like a lot of your receivers were running wide open against Carolina and Cincinnati in the first two games."
Boselli:"Finally, the truth is coming out!"
Coen:"It sure is."
Simmons:"Liam, I can honestly say we didn't steal any of your offensive signals in our two games against the Jaguars last year."
(Everybody laughs.)
Saleh:"Why were you so offended?"
Coen:"Because you challenged the Jaguars' integrity. I was standing up for my staff, my team, my organization and my city."
Simmons:"Can I add something for the record?"
Boselli:"This is an off-the-record conversation."
Simmons:"Regardless, when I caught my first touchdown pass (2 yards) against Saleh's 49ers last season, we didn't steal any signals."
(Boselli and Coen laugh and high five.)
Saleh:"Jeffery, you realize I'm your head coach, right?"
Simmons:"I do, but that touchdown will be a career-long victory lap opportunity for me."
Saleh:"Liam, why wouldn't you shake my hand after you beat us in the game (26-21)?"
Boselli:"Jeffery, this is my favorite part."
(Simmons nods and rubs his hands together with anticipation.)
Coen:"I didn't want to shake the hand of a guy who thought we were cutting corners. And how about when you said, 'You don't want to (mess) with me.'?"
Saleh:"That was regrettable, I guess."
Coen:"I probably should have just done a drive-by handshake like Chicago 's Ben Johnson did with Green Bay 's Matt LaFleur after the Bears' playoff win."
Saleh:"Accept my apology about the comments and actions."
Coen:"As long as you don't call the Jaguars a small market team, I will accept your apology."
(Saleh and Coen shake hands as Goodell walks back into the room to say the owners rubber-stamped Kansas City vs. Denver on Christmas Day in Antarctica.)
Goodell:"All good, guys?"
(Saleh and Coen both nod.)
Goodell:"Great. I may force Amazon to take Titans-Jaguars as an early-season Thursday night game to feed this competitive rivalry."
Boselli:"No chance."
Goodell (laughing):"You got me, Tony. Amazon would rather show an NCAA spring football game than Titans-Jaguars."
(Everybody laughs.)
Goodell:"Let's go to the head coaches' group photo, one of my favorite traditions of our Annual Meeting. You guys are sitting next to each other."
(Goodell, Boselli and Simmons all laugh.)
Saleh:"(Expletive)."
Coen:"(Expletive)."
Contact O'Halloran at rohalloran@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Florida Times-Union: Liam Coen vs Robert Saleh: Rival coaches will now meet twice a year
