The widow of former NFL guard Jordan Devey, Linsey, recounted their oldest son, Cash, running outside to "let out a scream that no 11-year-old should ever have to carry" when she told him of his dad's suicide.
Jordan, a Super Bowl champion with the New England Patriots, died by suicide in July at the age of 38.
"There's something about firstborn boys," Linsey wrote in an Instagram post last month, including photos of her and their kids, Cash, and daughters MJ, 8, Winnie, 4, and Stevie, 2, at Jordan's bedside in the hospital.
"Cash has always carried this quiet instinct to protect our family. He feels everything so deeply, but he rarely lets you see it because he thinks his job is to be strong for me… just like his dad. He has Jordan's heart. The same kindness. The same compassion. The same spiritual strength that made so many people feel safe.
"The hardest thing I have ever watched was my son holding his dad's hand for the last time. In that moment, he didn't just lose his father. He lost his best friend, his mentor, and the coach who taught him how to love, lead, and believe.
Jordan Devey #65 of the Oakland Raiders on the field before the game against the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on September 29, 2019 in Indianapolis, Indiana. Getty Images
"The day I told Cash his dad had gone home to Heaven, his world shattered. He ran outside and let out a scream that no 11-year-old should ever have to carry. A few moments later, he wiped his tears, walked back to me, and with a strength I know came from Christ, said, 'Mom, we can do this together. Don't take your own life.' In the middle of his deepest grief, he reminded me that we would not face it alone.
"I will never forget those words."
Linsey added that watching Cash grieve has strengthened her faith in Christ.
Former NFL guard Jordan Devey and his wife Linsey with their kids in 2024. Instagram/Linsey Devey
"I always believed I was the one building a foundation of faith for my children. But the truth is, they've become some of my greatest teachers," she wrote.
"Cash, you are a spiritual giant — just like your dad. And I know with all my heart that the same Savior who is carrying me is carrying you, too.
".
Jordan Devey #64 of the Buffalo Bills looks to make a block during the second half against the Green Bay Packers at Highmark Stadium on August 28, 2021 in Orchard Park, New York. Getty Images
Linsey shared in an Instagram Story post on Friday that it marked "79 days without him."
Her bio reads: "Honoring his life. Carrying his legacy."
During an interview with Fox 13 in Salt Lake City in July, Devey's mother, Leslie said their family believed that he "possibly suffered" from CTE.
"Because of the condition of what happened with his death…we're not going to be able to test for that and have a definitive answer," she said.
Jordan appeared in 44 career games with 21 starts over seven seasons with the Patriots, 49ers, Chiefs, Raiders and Bills. He won a Super Bowl with the Patriots in the 2014 season.
Jordan retired in 2021 after playing one game for the Buffalo Bills in 2020.
He was a beloved high school football coach in his community.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can dial the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention hotline at 988 or go to SuicidePreventionLifeline.org .
