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"We’re not dads" - Gilbert Arenas reveals the painful reality of NBA fatherhood
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- "We’re not dads" - Gilbert Arenas reveals the painful reality of NBA fatherhood
For many, the life of an NBA player is a dream come true — a world where people earn millions playing the sport they love at the highest level. For some, basketball is just a hobby, something they play in gyms and get paid for occasionally, a way to relax after a stressful day at work.
Yet the NBA world is a double-edged sword. With all the money comes fame, which changes you whether you want it to or not, and completely reshapes the life you once knew. Gilbert Arenas best explained the obstacles of NBA life, despite its many advantages, in his discussion of fatherhood.
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"When we're playing, we're dads, but we're not dads," Arenas openly confessed in his interview on the "White Noise Podcast w/ Derrick & Welsh". "We have the title as dad, but when you really break down our days, our weeks, we're really not there. We're actually the people that come and interrupt the household. We used to be on the road 18, 19 days, so think of the schedule of the kids. They haven't seen you, but when you come home at three in the morning, the first thing you want to do is wake the kids up."
"You're really interrupting how they're living because you are in and out of state," Agent Zero added. "Your times don't mesh with theirs. If you are working out, you leave before they wake up in the morning. You can be home for a week and never see or hang out with your kids. So when I was done playing, I wanted to be a father, a real father."
Arenas retired after 11 NBA seasons
Of course, many would say Arenas could be grateful that he was able to provide his children with a life many dream of, thanks to his exceptional basketball skills, which ultimately made him a three-time NBA All-Star.
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Yet he, like other NBA players who are fathers, is human, feeling the emotional toll of being away from family, especially when the kids are young. This was particularly true for Agent Zero, who during the 2000s was considered one of the league's best players but whose career ended prematurely at just 29 due to injuries.
That turning point, however, also gave him the chance to fully dedicate himself to his children, something he had seen very little of during his playing days. After 11 seasons, a secured lifetime NBA pension, and career earnings of around $163 million, Arenas was finally able to focus entirely on his three daughters and son.
Gilbert is by Alijah's side on his path to the NBA
After Gilbert's fairly successful career, his son now shows the potential to become the next NBA sensation. Alijah Arenas has excelled at USC this season, averaging 13.9 points and 2.5 rebounds, and some, including Metta Sandiford-Artest, have already compared him to the next Kobe Bryant .
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"I remember his dad brought him to one of our games, I think he was 11 or 12, and I'm like, 'Gil, are you gonna let him play, are you gonna be all right?' It was at Emet Academy, a private school. And the kid got out there and looked right. Keep in mind, I haven't seen him since then, and now I think he's like 6'7". The kid is the next Kobe ," Metta proclaimed .
Although his numbers aren't anywhere near those of some of the top prospects, it must be said that Alijah suffered an ACL injury and a serious car accident that left him temporarily in a coma.
Still, with his father Gilbert by his side, Alijah has overcome these difficult life moments. Under his father's mentorship, he continues to build his basketball journey, which, if it turns out even half as successful as his father's, could be outstanding.
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This story was originally published by Basketball Network on Mar 3, 2026, where it first appeared in the Off The Court section. Add Basketball Network as a Preferred Source by clicking here.
