I ate the McDonald’s adult happy meal and blue shake so you don’t have to
They can call it the "McDonaldland Meal." But that doesn't change what it actually is. It's a McDonald's Happy Meal that makes it less weird when adults buy it – plus a new shake with the color scheme of a Lisa Frank trapper keeper .
I'm not judging. Honestly, adults deserve this. Kids have never had to figure out the difference between a healthcare deductible and a premium. They don't have to worry about injuring their back because they sneezed or slept weirdly.
The least the world can give us is a little trinket to distract from the barrage of prescription drug and sports betting ads I'm going to experience on a given day.
In this case, it's a little metal case with a bunch of stickers, including the "pilot's license" of a C-list McDonald's character that I barely remember.
McDonald's 'McDonaldland Meal' | Review
Food-wise, the only thing that's new is the " Mt. McDonaldland Shake ," a vaguely defined fugue state of sugar and a legally ambiguous amount of dairy.
The official McDonald's description of this shake sounds like a Candyland mobster trying to dodge the feds and doesn't want you asking too many questions.
What flavor is the shake? It has "hints of berry flavor," which is not a helpful answer. That's like asking a waiter what the special is for tonight and being told, "It's covered in some sort of cheese."
The pink stuff up top? Don't jump to conclusions and call it "whipped cream." It's "pink Dairy Whipped Topping made with real cream." That's a wild flex from McDonald's bragging about it being made with "real cream," but not enough to legally call it whipped cream.
Even the lore behind the shake is vaguely threatening. According to the official description , the "Mt. McDonaldland Shake erupted from one of Grimace Island's thick shake volcanoes."
Outside of the shake, you get fries and a choice between a Chicken McNuggets or a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, which McDonald's keeps trying to brand as the "QPC." But just like Gretchen Weiners and "fetch," it's not going to happen.
A "Mt. McDonaldland" souvenir kit featuring the character Birdie.(NIck O'Malley/MassLive)
You also get one of six "souvenir kits," a thin metal tin full of knick-knacks depicting various characters in McDonald's lore. I got Birdie the Early Bird, who I vaguely remember hanging out with Grimace and the Hamburglar.
Inside, I got a bunch of stickers, including ones designed to be copies of Birdie's passport and pilot's license. I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with these documents. I feel like I was just handed Birdie's papers as they try to go through McDonaldland border control.
What does it taste like?
Mt. McDonaldland Shake- I was excited to try the whipped topping, which is either pink or purple. I'm not sure. It's like a tennis ball. Is it green? Is it yellow? I need to stop. This is hurting my brain.
Speaking of bright colors messing with my noodle, the shake itself is sweetly curious.
I went in thinking it was cotton candy-flavored. But the actual taste is slightly more fruity.
It comes in strong with an opening salvo of sweetness. Then on the back end, you get a mellow cloud of more muted flavors rolling through.
With all the colors and vague, artificial flavors, it's a lot like pink lemonade or blue raspberry. It's generally sweet, with slightly tart notes that the restaurant industry has told us is "berry."
Fries- I feel compelled to write about all the components of the meal. With that in mind, yup, these taste like McDonald's fries. They're on the thin side of the fast-food fry spectrum. Mine could have used more salt.
Quarter Pounder with Cheese- This remains superior to the Big Mac, better bread-to-meat ratio. I wish it had the special sauce instead of ketchup, though.
Birdie Souvenir Kit- The kit included a couple of actual, functional postcards. Clearly, this is targeted toward old people. I feel giving a postcard to anyone under 20 is like gifting them a VHS player. It would be junk that they have no idea how to use.
So is it any good?
I enjoyed it. But I'm a sucker for sugar.
It's good if you're engineered to like artificial, overly sweet flavors. If you're looking for any sort of nuance, you're in the wrong place.
You get a moderate level of the opaque "berry" flavor, but how that registers with the consumer can vary.
It's like hearing a heavy metal band play a "moderately loud" show. It's fine if you're into that sort of thing. But if you're new to the scene, it's going to be a dissonant wall of colorful noise.
The final word
One element of McDonaldland that tickled me was the online presence. In the souvenir kit, I got a card with a QR code that sent me to a McDonaldland website .
It's a bit of an old-school website approach that was common in the '90s and early '00s. It's a color website with tons of little things to click on and snoop through.
I felt like I was on my family's old desktop computer, using Compuserve and hearing that insane dial-up screeching sound that's been embedded into my brain.
Again, this is why adults need Happy Meals, too. Kids these days don't know the fear of being kicked off the internet because someone in the house picked up the phone to make a call.
I can only imagine how those last two paragraphs sound like pure insanity to anyone under the age of 18.
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"I ate it so you don't have to" is a regular food column about off-beat eats, both good and bad. I picked the name years ago and now we're sort of stuck with it.
You can send any praise/food suggestions to nomalley@masslive.com . Please send all criticisms and complaints about Nick waxing poetic about '90s internet to gatencioflores@masslive.com. You can check out the rest of the series here .
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