While Some Parents Are Coming to Terms With Their Adult Kids Never Moving Out, Others Couldn't Be Happier: 'I'm Incredibly Grateful'

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For generations of parents, there was a fairly predictable sequence: Raise the kids, watch them move out and eventually enjoy an empty nest . But with housing costs making independence increasingly difficult for young adults, some parents are realizing that empty nest may never arrive.

That realization sparked a lively Reddit discussion after one parent asked others how they had accepted the possibility of an adult child never living independently. While some responses involved children with disabilities or serious health conditions, plenty of parents described perfectly capable adult kids who work, earn money and simply continue living at home.

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'I'm Incredibly Grateful'

For some parents, there was nothing to come to terms with.

"Both my adult kids live with me and I'm incredibly grateful," one commenter wrote.

Another parent said their children were "very competent and productive members of society," adding that they live "at home" simply "because they can."

Others described arrangements that appear to work well financially. One parent has two children, ages 27 and 23, living at home. Both have jobs, friends and hobbies and are putting money into tax-free savings accounts .

"We have adjusted our house for the fact that they are probably not leaving anytime soon," the parent wrote. While they admitted they would like to experience being empty nesters, they added, "I'm ok with where they are."

Another commenter said their fully able-bodied son has a full-time job but returned home after college instead of getting a place with roommates. He contributes financially and helps with chores, and multigenerational living is normal in their culture.

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For parents who have built much of their own wealth through property, helping their children stay housed can also raise a bigger question: How can the next generation get exposure to real estate when buying a home has become so difficult?

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When Support Becomes Dependence

Not everyone in the discussion was comfortable with the trend. Several people drew a sharp distinction between an adult living with their parents while working, saving and contributing and someone who remains completely dependent despite being capable of supporting themselves.

One commenter described three coworkers whose adult children, ages 40, 37 and 31, reportedly still rely on their mothers for almost everything despite having no intellectual disabilities or other circumstances preventing them from working.

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Another described a nearly 40-year-old nephew who had never lived outside his childhood bedroom and whose mother still handled basic responsibilities for him. The concern was less about where he lived and more about what would happen after his mother was gone.

There were also reminders that a slow start doesn't necessarily last forever. One parent said their son dropped out of community college, didn't get a job until 22 and spent much of his time gaming and smoking weed. They became convinced he would never leave.

A decade later, he is a production manager, has been with the same company for 10 years and has lived independently for seven.

For parents supporting adult children while also trying to protect their own retirement, those competing priorities can become complicated quickly. Advisor.com helps connect you with vetted fiduciary financial professionals who assist with budgeting, taxes, estate planning and other major financial decisions. Its matching quiz takes about five minutes, helping you find a professional suited to your financial needs.

Image: Shutterstock

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This article While Some Parents Are Coming to Terms With Their Adult Kids Never Moving Out, Others Couldn't Be Happier: 'I'm Incredibly Grateful' originally appeared on Benzinga.com

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