He Masterbates Nightly, Loses Interest In Sex
"Compulsive masturbating affecting performance?"
Loses interest in sex, has masturbation addiction
Posted by Ann
:It has almost been a year since we've had sex. My guy kept making excuses, some were ligitimate when he was sick. He says he loses interest in sex with the same person. He doesn't seem to be cheating and sort of tries. The last time we did it he had an anxiety attack. His heart raced.
He does see a pyschatrist for that problem. He was married for a short time but his wife left him for this reason. He said they did see a sex therapist. He refuses to see one with me, saying that it was too unpleasant/painful. I asked him if he masterbates and he said he does it nightly, so he can have an erection and he sometimes gets and erection in the morning.
He has used viagra a few times but says it gives him a headach and other side effects and it didn't seem to help anyway. He says he cares about me, but after what he revealed about masterbating I'm beginning to loose hope. Is the masterbating addiction affecting his sexual performance ? What can I do to help for his compulsive addiction and lost of sexual desire for me? Is there any hope (I really enjoy him otherwise)?
Male Addiction Behavior Tips, Facts, Information Advice - Follow Ups:
Masturbating EVERY night will affect his performance
Reply by: RichT
Ann,
Honestly, from your post it doesn't seem he really wants to help himself or seek help from professionls for his compulsive masturbation addiction . This masturbating EVERY night is puzzling. It almost seems he just enjoys pleasuring himself and doesn't enjoy sexual love from a woman.
His wife divorced him after a short time for the same reason. Sure doesn't sound like he has any hope of changing or any desire to change. It seems he is happy with himself. Sure, masturbating EVERY night will affect his performance. He will not have the sexual desire/libido to want to sexually love you.
You "enjoy" him, but I didn't see the word love any place in your post.
Ann, in my opinion don't waste any more of your precious time/life with him. End the relationship in a pleasant manner, but be firm and say "this is it. PERIOD!" and mean it. Look for someone that is a male and enjoys the company, pleasure and love from a woman. Someone you can develop of loving relaionship with. A fellow who will love you and that you love in return. I wish you the very best.
Intimate love receporcated Reply by: AnnThank your for your prompt reply. Your answer was pretty much what my therapist suggested. Sigh! My frustration with this has been building up anyway. I didn't mention love, but I do love this man and that is why I've procrastinated so long. It does hurt to not have intimate love receporcated and now I realize if he doesn't want to try it is hopeless. Thanks again.
"Felt" the love
Reply by: RichT
You are most welcome. I appreciate the "thank you", and was pleased to know I and the therapist were pretty much on the same wavelength.
Lovin' (sex) is not the only thing in a relationship, however, it is a very big and important part of a relationship in my opinion. Humans DO need to give and receive love, that is just our nature. And one of the important ways is through our intimte giving and receiving of sexual pleasure. It does make a difference in the rest of the day so to speak. I can tell it in my wife. Everything can be fine before our lovin', but after we have truly "felt" the love from each other there is that smile on her face, that closeness that wasn't quite there before our lovin'.
Ann, I believe you have made the right decision. I know you have. As difficult as it may seem/be you need to to let go and find someone who you can fall in love with and who loves you, AND most importantly will intimately give his love to you in a way that you can just "feel" it. And likewise you for him.
I wish you the very best. Now go forward with your life. Llfe is short, every day must be enjoyed to its fullest.
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