全202件 (202件中 1-50件目)
2024年3月8日、金曜日。W1・・・5時頃、W2・・・9時頃起床。曇り→晴れ。今年は外食店として《CoCo壱番屋》、《万作》、《モダカ》それぞれに12回通うことを目標にしている。既にCoCo壱番屋・・・3回万作・・・2回モダカ・・・1回通っている。既に14時半を回っていた。モダカには遅くても13時に入らなくてはいけない。万作にした。これで万作・・・3回、となった。2015年の9月からほぼ3ヶ月をかけて、FRIENDSのうち、ラスト3年分の英文のテキストを書き上げた過去がある。そのせいだったか、右の腕がが半年ほどだったか、上がらなくなった。結局は、FRIENDSはテキストを作成しただけで終わった。そして今。10年間の内のラスト1年、ディスク2枚分、《テキスト6分冊、18話》に絞って、《本格的に》勉強する気になった。日曜日を休養日として、月〜土曜日に振り分けてみるか・・・❣️
March 8, 2024
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2024年3月6日、水曜日。W1・・・5時30分、W2・・・7時20分起床。今日は月に一度の歯医者。左上の内側の皮膚がちょっと傷ついている以外は、《綺麗に磨けている》と言われた。1790円+水2本110円×2=2010円気分が良くなったので、昼の弁当は少し弾んだ。《海鮮丼》・・・2個で1293円。身が分厚く、とても美味しかった。夕方の散歩・・・QCZコース(QCコースをジグザグに歩く)を2周。目標は《29分台》で歩くこと。・・・目標達成❣️①7:16 ② 7:42 ③ 5:50 ④ 8:32 計29分22秒この頃、《YouTube》を観ることが常となっている。今年になって、テレビでもYouTubeが観れるようになった。今では、私一人の時は、テレビ番組よりもYouTubeを観ている。YouTubeの見本に《FRIENDS》が出てきた。ちょっと観てみると、とても懐かしくなって。一時FRIENDSにハマり、ラスト3年分のテキストを3ヶ月もかかって作り上げたことがある。探してみた。直ぐに見つかった。なんと・・・・・・22分冊も見つかった。やりすぎだろう。馬鹿みたい‼️実際、馬鹿な過去を送っている。でも・・・・・・これは何かの縁だなア❣️ちょっと観てみるか⁉️
March 6, 2024
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2022年9月11日、日曜日。日曜日。5時45分起床。体重72.9kg。快晴。 昨日のこと。YouTube の《シュミスケ》さんの動画を見た。彼は英語学習系のYouTuber だ。話題が《FRIENDS》だったので関心を持って見た。明る日曜日。色々と調べてみた。FRIENDSは1994年〜2004年まで続いたホームドラマ。定年退職した2015年秋。英語学習で有名な人が推薦していたので、飛びついてしまった。さっそく、DVDを手に入れた。全236話。余りにも量が多すぎた。『最後の3年間に絞ろう‼️』 私の性格として、先ずは《テキスト作り》から入る。記憶によれば9月〜12月の3ヶ月間もかかった・・・と思う。多分だが、左肩?を痛めた。半年間は真上に上がらなかった。 結局FRIENDSはテキスト作りのみで終わってしまった。 今、ちょっと懐かしさも手伝い、ちょっと観てみる気になった。 前半の5年分は切り捨てよう。後半だけでも見てみるか。 10年は余りにも長い。長すぎる。結果として、ラスト3年分だけ《テキスト》を作成することにした。 テキストは・・・書斎の机の下の棚に置いてあった。汚れていない。1話22分弱。3話分ずつを1冊に閉じている。3年分でディスク6枚。ディスク1枚に12話。最後のシーズン10のみ12+6話。計12話×5+6話=66話結果として《ラスト3年分で22分冊》も作っていた。あっぱれだ! 段々と思い出してきた。これは2番目の大失敗だった。一番目は《きこえーご》‼️これはネットで流されていた英語学習教材だった。月々、いくら払っていたのだろう。1600円ぐらいだっただろうか???聞き取り、下書きをして、パソコンで本書きをした。しかし・・・儲けにならなかったのだろう。B業者が退散してしまった。音声が聴けなくなったのでどうしようもない。『あれ、なかなか気に入っていた動画が多かったのに・・・残念‼️』 アン選抜10章・・・大天主・小天守FRIENDS 3年分・・・北の丸天守と言うことで、頑張っていこう。
September 11, 2022
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《FRIENDS》は10年間続いたホームドラマ。全部で90時間ほどか?長すぎるので、ラスト3年に絞って《全会話を書きとったテキスト》を3ヶ月かけて作成した。作成するまでは頑張ったが、それで勉強した覚えがない。『勿体ないことだ。役立ててみるか「!?』《MARTIAN》もテキストを作成したのち、すぐに手を引いてしまった。これももう少し、粘ってみよう。昼食。目玉焼きと御飯とお茶は私が用意した。夕食。普段は自家製ヨーグルト(蜂蜜・シナモン入り)・お酢ドリンク・キムチ入り納豆と下の写真のナッツ類とチョコレート。今日は納豆が無かったので、普段とは違う夕食になった。これも夕食の前に食べる。いつも同じ量、同じ種類。 2018年4月1日、日曜日。5時45分起床。 快晴。暖かくて穏やかな一日だった。 一日中のんびりと過ごした。メダカにエサをやるとき以外、家から出なかった。 ブログは『PCで作成し、iPadで見る』ことを常としている。PCでは見ることは出来ないが、iPadだと『よく読まれている記事』という項目がある。そこをクリックすると、 『昨日読まれた記事の一覧』が出てくる。ブログを載せない日が2日続くと、5つぐらいに減る。通常は15~20記事。多いときで80ほどあった気がする。 昨日、よく読まれている記事は8つあった。その中に 『《FRIENDS8・9・10》のテキストの製本が完成した』・・・・2015年12月6日 というのがあった。懐かしくなったので、読み返してみた。 表紙に懐かしい写真が並んでいる。 そうそう、退職1年目は『習得すべき英語の教材』がころころと替わった時期だった。 半年ほどは、 1.英国王のスピーチ1・10・16章 2.アナ雪絵本 3.起きてから寝るまで700選 4.日本案内980文 プラス 『キクタン』 をメインに勉強していた。 今となっては、『キクタン』以外は触れる気も無い。 多分だが、上位4項目を吹っ飛ばしたのは、『FRIENDS』だった。10年分の話。多すぎるので、ラスト3年分に絞った。それだけでも27時間はあった。 《全会話を22冊の本》にまとめあげたのだった。 完成したのが、『2015年12月6日』だった。 ただ・・・・・・・・完成させるまでで活力を使い果たした。 その後、娘が帰国し、彼女が探し出した《えいぽんたん》にはまり、続く《きこえーご》にどっぷりと浸かった。 《きこえーご》は半年以上、もしかして1年ほどは英語学習の中軸になっていた気がする。 2017年1月?からは《純ジャパイングリッシュ》だった。 そして、今頑張っている《日本紹介》のベースになっている《日本事情》に中心が移行したのが、2017年の9月だった。 今は1月中旬に手に入れた【日本紹介2100】一色に染まっている。 ただ、・・・・・・・・我が家は 『垂れ流しのようにTVを点けている』 ちょっと病的だ。 『《FRIENDS》がTVの替わりにならないだろうか・・・・』 息抜きが英語の勉強に役立てば一石二鳥だろう。 しばらく試してみようと考えている。
April 1, 2018
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今日の夕食。型貫した人参やカブ?などを有効利用している。美味しかった。 2015年12月30日、水曜日。5時55分起床。体重72.5kg。 起床後、ベッドの中で《Disk19》を聞いていた。9型画面の明るさが部屋を照らすだけだった。ただ聞くだけ。英語音声にしていた。知らぬ間に寝入った。目が覚めた。『・・・・今はどの場面なのだろう』数分聞いて理解できた。「今は第7話だ」落ち込んだ。《Season10の第4~9話は瞬時に理解できていなくてはいけないのに・・・・。いや、瞬時でなくてもいい。5秒以内に物語の世界に入り込まなくては》 ベッドから出ると落ち着いた。『ベッドに横になっている時の理解では通常時の0~9割だな。10分以上横になっていれば半分を割る。覚醒後すぐだったら気付かなくて当然』 最初の内は、「この話のどこがそんなに面白いんだ?」と思えるような話の中にも笑える様子がふんだんにあることに気付いた。具体例を言うと、第1~3話、第5話、第11話などはカットしたかった。ところが今は、『面白い』と思えるようになっている。 ワイフの風邪はまだ治っていないが、正月料理の「お煮しめ料理」に取り掛かった。私も人参の型貫を手伝った。「余りが勿体ないな」ということになり、夕食は端を使っておじやにすることにした。 娘のバイト・・・・5日目。今日は1コマ増やされて80分×4コマ教えることになった。昨夜はプリント作りで2時間しか寝ていない。最後のコマがボロボロだったらしい。高2の英語・・・・文法で説明する日本語の言葉が思い当らない。中1の数学・・・・問題は簡単に解ける子に「比例について説明した」ことが自分の頭の中で整理できていない。「なんでもそうだけど、経験が足りない」「親からクレームが来そう」慰めても無駄だな。今日は一日落ち込んだらいい。塾のバイトは残り「4日」と「5日」の筈だった。ところがどうしても断ることが出来なくて、「11日」も行くことになったとか。「断れないのが日本人」『いや、それは俺の血を引いているんだよ』 23時半から、A国の仲間とスカイプで勉強会が始まる。気分を入れ替えて本業で頑張って欲しい。
December 30, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-6》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月4日9-23&24-26Joey.739. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone else.740. Okay, Geller. Last day of the conference.741. You know what happens to the keynote speaker.742. Professor Klarik, we’re in the middle of a conversation here.743. Can’t you throw him in the pool later?744. Or we could throw you both in now.745. Okay, gentlemen, please. Aren’t we a little old for this?746. I mean, we’re scientists, all right? We’re academics… and most importantly you will have to catch us first.747. Go! Go! Go! 【SC・・・・28】748. Okay, so it’s tied again, 41 to 41.749. Okay, look, enough is enough.750. No.751. I just have two more points to beat him.752. Monica, that was also true an hour ago!753. I mean, please, look at you.754. Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable!755. You’ve already proven you’re just as good as he is.756. We missed our dinner reservation, let’s go upstairs… order room service, take a shower and shave your head!757. I can’t just walk away. I’ve put in four hours.758. You knew this about me when you married me.759. You agreed to take me in sickness and in health.760. Well, this is my sickness!761. What about the obsessive cleaning?762. That’s just good sense.763. Ow!764. You okay?765. No, honey, I’m okay.766. Shake it off. Oh, no shaking. No shaking. No shaking.767. Oh, my God. I can’t play.9-23&24-27768. So you forfeit?769. Mike wins?770. I can’t believe it. I lost.771. No, you didn’t.772. What?773. Because I’m gonna play for you.774. You can’t do that.775. It’s okay. I don’t care which of them I beat.776. Okay, we’re taking that paddle home, mister.777. Honey, you don’t have to do this.778. Yes, I do.779. I may not understand why you have to win so badly… but if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.780. Because I love you.781. But you suck.782. You’re welcome, sweetheart.783. All right, let’s get this over with. Sudden death.784. Whoever wins this point, wins.785. Okay.786. Oh, my God. You’re good.787. It’s like watching porn.788. And that’s how it’s done.789. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was so amazing.790. Well, when did you--?791. Hold on, I almost forgot. Loser.792. When did you stop sucking?793. I never sucked. I just didn’t want you… to know how good I was.794. Why?795. I don’t know.796. Well, this is so great.797. Now we can enter doubles tournaments.798. That’s why. 【SC・・・・29】799. They still looking for us?9-23&24-28800. Yeah.801. The bartender said they split up into two search parties.802. The herbivores and the carnivores.803. You know, we, as group, are not the coolest.804. Oh, look out.805. I don’t think they saw us.806. I don’t think they did.807. So I started to tell you something earlier. Um….808. There was another reason that I realized it was time to end it with Joey.809. I kind of realized I was starting to have feelings… for someone else.810. Oh.811. And can I ask who?812. I think you know.813. I think I know too, but I’ve been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so….814. I’m sorry, we can’t.815. All right. All right.816. I mean, you just went out with my best friend, you know?817. I just think it would be a really, really bad idea.818. Or not. I mean-- 【SC・・・・30】819. What? 【Season9 第23&24話 完】
December 4, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-5》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月4日9-23&24-21586. We’ll flip to see who goes first. You got a quarter?587. No. Either of you girls got a quarter?588. Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.589. Monica, you call it.590. Heads. No, tails! Heads!591. Tails.592. Oh, what are the chances?593. Hah! My point!594. Oh, no, I don’t think so.595. Standard rules: If at any time a player uses his nonracket-bearing hand… to touch the playing surface, he or she forfeits the point.596. He was a lawyer. 【SC・・・・24】597. All the East Coast is having beautiful weather.598. In New York, it’s 72 and sunny.599. Oh. Weather bitch.600. It’s open.601. Hi, Joe.602. Hey.603. What? Is everything okay?604. Charlie and I broke up.605. No. Why?606. Well, she said we have nothing in common.607. That’s crazy.608. No, it’s not. We have nothing in common.609. Yeah, that’s true.610. Yeah.611. I mean, she should be with someone more like Ross.612. You know, I mean he uses all those big words too.613. Man, smart people are dull.614. Well, hey!615. Okay, Rach.616. I feel so stupid, you know? Why do I keep going after the wrong 9-23&24-22girls?617. What are you talking about?618. Oh, come on.619. I mean, there’s you, then there’s Charlie. It’s like…. What the hell’s my problem?620. I just….621. Okay. Maybe you’re not always going after the wrong girl.622. I’m telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me.623. I’m not talking about her.624. Well, then, who?625. The waitress I went out with last month.626. You know what? Forget it.627. No, no, no, no.628. Who are you talking about?629. No, I don’t-- 630. I actually don’t know who I’m talking about, so….631. Okay.632. Yeah.633. Well, I’m gonna go see if I can get a room for tonight.634. And I’ll see you later.635. Yeah, sure. Okay. 【CC・・・・25】 Chap. 5636. You like me?637. Okay.638. Let’s not make a big thing about this.639. It’s a huge thing!640. Okay, not working with me, Joe.641. Look, here’s the thing. Lately, I have been having thoughts.642. Musings, if you will.643. Well, for how long?644. Oh, only like a month.645. A month?!646. Well-- 647. Dial it down. Listen, maybe they’re crazy thoughts, but 9-23&24-23sometimes I do.648. I have been thinking about, you know, us.649. Okay, dial it up a little.650. Oh, you’re right. Okay.651. I just have a question.652. Shoot.653. What the hell are you doing?654. I’m not trying to do anything.655. It’s just, we have such a good time when we’re together, you know?656. And I mean, aren’t you just a little curious what it would be like?657. Am I curious? I mean, I’m as curious as… George!658. Who?659. Curious George!660. Oh!661. You know, the monkey and the guy with the yellow hat.662. Of course. I remember.663. He had a paper route.664. Yeah, he did.665. See, this is what I’m talking about.666. No, I know. We’re great!667. But, Rach, no, this can’t happen.668. Can’t it just happen a little bit?669. No! It can’t happen at all!670. Why not?671. Because, look, no one wants this to happen more than me, okay?672. I have gone over this moment in my head 100 times… and not once did I ever say no.673. I couldn’t do it to Ross.674. But that wasn’t gonna stop you before.675. I know. I know… but I’ve thought about it a lot since then, and it just wouldn’t be right.676. I’m sorry.677. I’m sorry too.678. Oh, God, I shouldn’t have said anything.9-23&24-24679. No, no, no, no. Hey, we’ll be fine.680. Like you said, it’s no big deal.681. It’s not a big deal.682. No big deal.683. It’s so not a big deal.684. I’ll see you later. All right, hey.685. Okay, great.686. Okay-- Oh! 【SC・・・・26】687. Oh, I’m sorry, I think-- I think that may have missed the table.688. Oh, do you?689. Yeah.690. Do you?691. Yeah.692. Do you?693. Yeah!694. You really find this attractive on him?695. Oh, yeah.696. Are you telling me you’re not even a little turned on by Monica right now?697. This is the first time in our marriage that I’ve felt like the more attractive one.698. All right, come on, Mike. You can beat her.699. Knock that dog off her head.700. Oh, damn it!701. I sleep with him!702. Game point.703. Don’t get too cocky.704. Remember, I won the last one.705. Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?706. You should look in the mirror before you call yourself that.707. No! No! No!708. And that’s how it’s done.709. Okey-dokey.9-23&24-25710. You’ve each won a game, and I’ve lost what’s felt like a year of my life. 711. Everybody goes home a winner.712. Best of three?713. What I’m thinking.714. Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?715. Serve the ball, chump.716. “Serve the ball, chump.”717. Okay, better comebacks, Mike. Better comebacks. 【SC・・・・27】718. I’m just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks.719. If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that’d be… just nifty.720. Well, I’ve kind of got a lot on my plate right now.721. Not that I wouldn’t love a weekend in the country with a strange man.722. Jarvis?723. Oh, you’re back.724. This is my wife, Nancy.725. Well, get out!726. Ross? Can I talk to you for a minute?727. Yes, please.728. So, what’s going on?729. Well, Joey and I broke up.730. Oh, my God. What happened?731. Joey is a great guy… but we’re just-- We’re so different.732. I mean, like, during your speech, he kept laughing at “Homo erectus.” 733. I knew that was him!734. Anyway, I just-- I think it’s for the best.735. Hey. Hey, you okay?736. I guess.737. There was….738. There was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with
December 4, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-4》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月4日9-23&24-16433. I have a ring.434. I wouldn’t brag about that, big guy.435. But, Phoebe… will you marry me?436. No.437. Ha-ha.438. I love you , but I never needed a proposal from you.439. I just needed to know we were headed somewhere.440. That we had a future.441. We can have any future you want.442. Okay, well, I’m gonna take off.443. David, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.444. Just so I know, if I had asked first…?445. Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would’ve been wrong.446. Please, you don’t have to explain.447. I mean, perhaps if I hadn’t gone to Minsk… things would have worked out for us, and I wouldn’t have ruined my career.448. Or lost that toe to frostbite.449. It was a good trip.450. Is it okay if I hug you now?451. Oh, yes.452. Because of our meddling! All right? 【SC・・・・19】 Chap. 4453. Oh, isn’t this nice? It’s so quiet. I could just lie here all day.454. Oh, I know.455. Open your drapes! Open your drapes!456. So glad we got adjoining rooms.457. The sun is out!458. Hey! Remember when I had corneas?459. Go to the pool and reserve chairs.460. I will get the magazines and the lotion.461. Ladies? Ross’ speech is in 45 minutes.462. No!463. Damn it!464. Walls are pretty thin, guys.9-23&24-17 【SC・・・・20】465. “Then we have to weigh the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing… which call into question information gathered from years of carbon dating.”466. Look at the woman sitting out by the pool getting tan.467. She’s all leathery and wrinkled. I’m so jealous!468. “Finally, factor in the profusion of new species recently discovered.469. Giganotosaurus.470. Argentinosaurus.”471. Not to mention Coldsaurus.472. “And that’s just the herbivores. I’m not even gonna discuss the carnivores.473. Their heads are already too big.474. Which is ironic, considering their stunted cerebral development.”475. Really?476. “But all kidding aside, in much the same way… that Homo ergaster is thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus….”477. What?478. He said “erectus.”479. You’re kidding, right?480. No, he really said it.481. “And while there are certainly vast differences… between these Mesozoic fossils and the example of Homo erectus….”482. Erectus?483. Homo.484. Right.485. “In a very real way, we can bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21st century.”486. Thank you.487. Really great.488. Thanks, guys.489. I thought it was wonderful.490. Jarvis Oberblau. Cornell.491. I mean, the ideas you put forth, and from someone so young and….9-23&24-18492. Okay, now we’re just holding hands.493. Alrighty. We’re gonna hit the beach. That was really great.494. Oh, thank you.495. Yeah. Oh, and so funny.496. Take it easy.497. All right, thanks. Thanks so much.498. I can’t tell you how much it means that you were here.499. You kidding? We wouldn’t have missed it.500. Oh.501. I’m back.502. Okay. Well, excuse me?503. Hey.504. Well?505. You were incredible.506. You blew them away.507. I can’t tell you how great it was to look in the crowd and see your face. 508. I mean, did you know you were mouthing the words along with me?509. I was not.510. No, it’s okay.511. It made me feel like a rock star.512. Oh, my God. I’m your groupie.513. Hey, I better not find you naked in my hotel room.514. Look, I took it too far. 【SC・・・・21】515. I can’t believe it’s raining again. It’s so unfair.516. Well, on the bright side, now we won’t have to see… all these paleontologists with their shirts off.517. Not you guys.518. You’ve got it going on.519. What will we do today?520. They have a game room downstairs.521. They have Ping-Pong and stuff.522. Ping-Pong? Honey, they have Ping-Pong.9-23&24-19523. Let’s play.524. I don’t think so.525. Why not?526. You know how competitive you get.527. And while I say it’s cute, others disagree, and I’m lying.528. I’m not always that bad.529. Oh, yeah?530. What happened when we played last time?531. I punched you.532. And?533. Phoebe.534. And?535. I clunked your heads together. 【SC・・・・22】536. There you are.537. Hey. Listen.538. As soon as it stops raining, we have got to go snorkeling.539. Some kid told me about this sea turtle. If you blow bubbles in his face… he chases you.540. I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m running a discussion group all afternoon.541. Oh.542. That’s okay. I’ll find someone else to do it.543. I’d do it alone, but, uh… I don’t know what happens if the sea turtle catches you.544. You know, I feel so bad.545. I haven’t seen you this whole trip. Especially last night-- 546. Don’t worry about it. It was fine. I had the best time with Rachel.547. I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room working on Ross’ speech.548. Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun.549. Oh, well, at least we’re both having fun, right?550. Is it weird that it’s not with each other?551. Yeah.552. A little bit, yeah.9-23&24-20553. I think we need to talk.554. Yeah, I think we do.555. About what? 【SC・・・・23】556. Come on, you guys, it’ll be fun!557. All right.558. I’ll play if we don’t keep score.559. Well, then how do we know who wins?560. Nobody wins.561. So we’re just four losers. Super.562. Well, I’m not playing with her.563. I’m out.564. I’ll play you.565. Okay.566. You don’t know what you’re doing.567. She gets crazy.568. This scar? That’s from Pictionary.569. I think I’ll be all right.570. You want to volley a bit for serve?571. Sure, if you want to.572. Ho!573. Oh, by the way, I’m awesome.574. Oh, dear God, there’s two of them.575. You ready to play?576. Hell, yeah.577. Did you know this about him?578. No idea. I thought he was soft like you.579. Want to make it more interesting?580. How much you thinking?581. Ten bucks a game?582. Make it 50.583. I’ll make it 100.584. One thousand-- 585. Okay!
December 4, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-3》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月4日9-23&24-11 285. Well, I hope you’re happy.286. Aw, I hope you’re happy too, honey.287. Phoebe’s going to say yes to David.288. That’s what happens when you meddle.289. Phoebe’s gonna say yes? That’s great.290. No, it’s not. She’s still in love with Mike.291. There’s no chance that will work?292. No, I called.293. It’s not gonna happen.294. Meddler! Meddler!295. If you hadn’t meddled to start with… then I wouldn’t have had to go in and meddle myself.296. No matter how much we meddle, we’ll never be able to unmeddle… the thing that you meddled up in the first place!297. This vacation sucks! 【SC・・・・15】298. I’m so bored.299. Mm.300. Stupid rain. We can’t do anything.301. Well, I brought some books. We could read.302. Hey, it hasn’t come to that yet.303. Hey, hey, hey, don’t mind if I do.304. I’m sorry, sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention.305. You feel like going to a convention?306. We can’t. We’re not pharmacists.307. I know we’re not… but Frank Madaio and Eva….308. Kate Miller.309. Kate Miller it is.310. Okay.311. Oh, good-- 312. And that’s the most sex I’m gonna have this weekend.313. Well, in that case, should I make sure it’s on real good?314. Thank you. 【SC・・・・16】9-23&24-12315. Oh, and then you said that thing about bringing the Mesozoic Era … into the 21st century.316. Well, yeah. That’s it?317. Yeah.318. Oh, my God. We did it.319. Actually, I did it, Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.320. Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products.321. Oh, this is amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.322. That’s a pretty necklace.323. Thank you.324. Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne?325. Yeah! Save the cork, and that way, we can fill the bottle with water… and put it back so they don’t change you.326. Oh, my God, I love you.327. This is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son… or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?328. That’s Ben, my son from my first marriage.329. Your first marriage?330. Yeah.331. You’ve been married more than once?332. No.333. Mm.334. So why’d you break up?335. Oh, it was-- 336. It’s complicated, you know? She was, uh… gay.337. Oh, my God.338. This is so cool!339. Okay. Odd thing to get excited about.340. No, it’s just that I was engaged to a guy who turned out to be gay.341. Hey! High-five!342. Didn’t you feel so stupid that you didn’t see the signs?343. My fiancé was always going on long weekends with his “tennis partner.”9-23&24-13344. My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with every day for a year.345. She didn’t get any fitter.346. Everybody’s like, “I knew all along.”347. I know.348. If you knew, why didn’t you tell me? I mean, call, leave a note.349. “Hi. Just dropped by to say your wife’s gay.”350. I know.351. And then-- 352. And then you try to make the best of a bad situation… so you float the idea of a threesome.353. I didn’t do that.354. Me neither. 【SC・・・・17】355. Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.356. I know. That old lady at the end was ready to take you home.357. Not enough pills in the world, Rach.358. What about you, huh? You’re the single one. See anybody in there you like?359. Well, let’s see. There was that really big guy that I was talking to … with the really nice breasts.360. But what about back home?361. Anything going on there? Anybody you like?362. No.363. There is. You’re blushing.364. No. I’m not blushing… and I’m sunburned.365. From, you know, the rain.366. You like someone. Tell me who.367. Tell me who it is. Come on.368. No. Joey.369. Who do you like? You’re not getting away that easy.370. Who do you like?371. Joey, come on!372. It doesn’t matter, you know? It’s not like anything’s gonna happen.9-23&24-14373. What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?374. Okay. Okay. You really want to know who it is?375. Yeah. Who is it?376. Do you?377. Yeah.378. Hey.379. Hey.380. I just left you a message.381. Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite… but now that you’re here, we could have that dinner.382. Right! Of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?383. Yep! We got it. We got it. Thank you so much.384. I had a great time.385. Yeah.386. This isn’t over, because I really want to know-- 387. Later. Later.388. So shall we?389. Yeah.390. Okay.391. Good night.392. Good night.393. Okay, good night.394. Good night, Ross. 【SC・・・・18】395. I can’t believe she’s gonna say yes to David.396. She’s clearly in love with Mike.397. You know, it’s very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.398. Um…. Phoebe, um, I have, uh, something I want to say.399. Oh, God, he’s gonna do it. I cannot watch this. Let’s go.400. I think we have time. Have you heard him talk?401. “Uh, Phoebe, um, I would be honored if, uh, uh--“ Spit it out, David!402. Uh, Phoebe, um….9-23&24-15403. You’re an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was unbearable.404. Of course, the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn’t help.405. Sure. Okay. Yeah.406. But, um, well, now that we’re together again, I don’t ever want to be apart. 407. So to that end….408. Oh, my God, Mike.409. It’s David, actually.410. No, Mike’s here.411. Oh, hey, Mike.412. Hi, David.413. Chandler. Monic-- Oh!414. It’s the humidity!415. Hi, Phoebe.416. What are you doing here?417. I have a question I need to ask you.418. I have a question I was kind of gonna ask her myself.419. Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.420. Okay.421. Would you care for my seat as well?422. Actually, yeah, that’d be great.423. Well, that’s fair, you’ve had a long trip. 424. Phoebe, I love you.425. I’ve missed you so much these last few months.426. I thought we were apart for a good reason… but I realized that there was no reason good enough… to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. 427. Kind of steps on the toes of what I was going to say.428. I’m sorry, David, but she really has to know this.429. All right, but after this, I want to see you outside.430. If the rain stops.431. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.432. How could I lose you? Now, I don’t actually have a ring.
December 4, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-2》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月3日9-23&24-6142. Because we were talking about ways he could beat Mike… and I told him Phoebe wanted to get married.143. Chandler, we have talked about this.144. You are not supposed to give people advice!145. Couldn’t you have made some inappropriate joke?146. I did! A penis one!147. Just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?148. They’ve only been going out for a few weeks.149. Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike. I mean, she’ll say no… David’s heart will be broken, it’ll be too hard for them to recover… and then Phoebe will end up alone again.150. Man, that’s some bad advice. 【SC・・・・8】151. Oh, hey. Thank God. You guys are here.152. What’s going on?153. Everything is upside-down here.154. It rains all day long and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.155. I don’t want to alarm anybody… but Monica’s hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.156. Okay. When I go places with high humidity… it gets a little extra body, okay?157. That’s why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.158. I’ll show you guys where to check in.159. Oh, honey? Can you make sure we get a king-size bed?160. Oh, David, get one for us too. Oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one.161. And with mirrors on the ceiling.162. And make sure our room isn’t next to theirs.163. Oh, you guys are so lucky you’re here with people.164. You know, it’s just such a romantic place.165. I just wish I could share it with a guy.166. Not Joey.167. Not Joey. No.168. I was just lusting after Chandler.9-23&24-7169. Yeah, right. 【SC・・・・9】170. So I’m proposing to Phoebe tonight.171. Tonight?172. Isn’t an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond?173. Oh, there it is.174. Yes, well, being a failed scientist… doesn’t pay quite as well as you might think.175. That’s one-seventieth of a carat.176. And the clarity is quite poor.177. Nice. 【SC・・・・10】178. Monica, can I talk to you for a second?179. Okay.180. David’s gonna propose to Phoebe tonight.181. See what happens when you give people advice?182. Well, I hope you told him not to.183. That would be advice!184. Okay, fine. I’ll handle this.185. Phoebe?186. Yeah?187. I need to talk to you.188. Are you leaving the Supremes?189. Okay, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice.190. David’s gonna propose to you tonight.191. Wow, really?192. That’s fantastic!193. What? Are you serious? You want to marry him?194. What about Mike?195. Oh, okay, you want me to marry Mike?196. Let’s just gag him and handcuff him… and force him down the aisle, okay?197. I can just see it. “Mike, do you take Phoebe?”198. You know? It’s every girl’s dream.9-23&24-8199. Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?200. Sure. Look, okay, bottom line? I love Mike-- David!201. David! I love David.202. Don’t look at me that way, Roseanne Roseannadanna. 【SC・・・・11】203. “By using CT scans and computer imaging, we can, in a very real way… bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21st century.”204. It’s great.205. You’ll be the hit of the conference.206. It’ll be even better tomorrow… because I won’t be constantly interrupted by Joey… checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.207. Hey, guys.208. The chocolates aren’t here.209. Damn it!210. Ross just read me his speech. It’s fantastic.211. Oh, is it on the computer? Because I’d love to give it a read.212. If you want to check your e-mail, just ask.213. What? May I?214. What’s with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for dino week… nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.215. The wet season is June to December. 216. It’s not the time, Charlie.217. Oh, no. No, no! Dear God, no!218. What, did someone outbid you for the teapot?219. Secret teapot.220. Your computer. I don’t know what-- Everything’s gone.221. What do you mean?222. Must be a virus.223. I think it erased your hard drive.224. What? Oh, my God. What did you do?225. Someone I don’t know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.226. Why? Why would you open it?227. Well, it didn’t say, “This is a virus.”9-23&24-9228. What did it say?229. “Nude--“230. “Pictures of Anna Kournikova.”231. I’m so sorry.232. What am I gonna do?233. My speech is gone!234. It’s not gone.235. I’m sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy?237. No, I don’t!238. Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now. 【SC・・・・12】239. It’ really gone?240. Yep.241. I’d like to thank you guys for coming down here… to complain about the rain and ruin my career.242. I just feel awful.243. Yeah, you should.244. Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She’s never even won a major tournament.245. Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but-- 246. You know, you and Monica have the same I’m-gonna-kill-you look.247. I can usually make it go away by kissing her.248. Get out. 【SC・・・・13】249. You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.250. What do you do?251. I usually go… play Tetris on somebody else’s computer.252. I can’t believe this is happening.253. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow.254. I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?255. You can use a speech I memorized for auditions.256. I don’t think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now. 9-23&24-10257. Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech.258. We can re-create it. We’ve got all night.259. What, you really think we can do that?260. Oh, wait. Joey and I are supposed to have dinner.261. Don’t worry about that. I mean, Ross needs you.262. Rachel and I will stay and help any way we can.263. All right. Okay, let’s do it.264. Well, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating.265. And then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment… of the Mesozoic Era, the breakup of Pangaea. Hello?266. And then there’s the overview of the Triassic.267. Ooh, ooh. Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away? 【SC・・・・14】268. Hello?269. Okay, Mike?270. Enough is enough. You love Phoebe, and she loves you.271. So get over your I-never-wanna-get-married thing… and step up!272. Who is this?273. This is Monica, Phoebe’s friend.274. Listen. Phoebe is back with David.275. He’s gonna propose, and she’s gonna say yes… but I know she really wants to be with you.276. He’s gonna propose?277. I’m sorry, did you say something? I can’t hear through all this damned hair!278. If Phoebe wants to marry David, she should.279. I’m not gonna stand in the way of that. Neither should you.280. You don’t tell me what to do. I tell you what to do.281. Just call her. She’s at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados.282. And while I’ve got you, you’ve got curly hair.283. What do you do in the humidity?284. Damn it!
December 3, 2015
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《Season9-23&24-1》The One in Barbados 初版・・・・2015年12月3日9-23&24-11. Hey! I’m all packed and ready to go.2. Oh, That’s right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.3. We’re going to a conference in Barbados. Right?4. Uh-huh.5. Can you say, “Barbados”?6. Barbados.7. Okay. I’ve gotta say, it means so much to me that you guys are coming… all the way over there to hear me give my speech.8. Ooh, and I have a surprise. I had to pull some strings… but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference. That’s right!9. These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.10. Do you have anything that will get us out of them?11. We’re excited to hear the speech, but the rest of the time… we’re gonna want to do island stuff.12. David’ll probably want to hear a few lectures.13. Right, because he’s a scientist.14. No, no.15. He’s been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight… he’ll die.16. Okay, we’d better go. Yeah?17. So we’ll see you guys tomorrow.18. All right, let’s do it.19. A five-hour flight with Charlie, have a couple drinks… get under that blanket and do what comes natural.20. It’s a blanket, Joe, not a cloak of invisibility. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 221. Wow, this place is beautiful!22. Look at all these paleontologists!23. I know. There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.24. Oh, my God, I can’t believe you’re here!25. I think I’ve been recognized.9-23&24-226. This happens all the time.27. Dr. Geller? I am such a huge fan.28. That never happens.29. I’ve been following your career for years. I can’t wait for your keynote speech.30. Wow. This is very flattering-- 31. I would love your autograph.32. Well, sure. Um….33. “Dear…?”34. Sarah.35. “Sarah. I dig you.”36. “Dr. Ross Geller.”37. Oh, thank you so much.38. Sure. Sarah, I’d like you to introduce you to my colleague, Professor Wheeler.39. And this is Joey Tribbiani.40. Are you a paleontologist?41. No, God, no, no. I’m an actor.42. You probably recognize me from a little show called The Days of Our Lives.43. Dude, it’s just Days of Our Lives. There’s no “the.”44. Okay, Ross, boy, you…. Yeah. No, no. I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.45. I’m sorry. I don’t own a TV.46. You don’t own a TV?47. What’s all your furniture pointed at? 【SC・・・・3】48. David, can you help me?49. I’m trying to explain to Chandler how a plain stays in the air.50. Oh, certainly. That’s a combination of Bernoulli’s Principle… and Newton’s third law of motion.51. See?52. Yeah. That’s the same as, “It has something to do with wind.”53. I’m gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.54. I should go too. Now, tomorrow do you want to share a cab to the 9-23&24-3airport… or should Mike and I meet you?55. Mike? Who’s Mike?56. Mike’s your ex-boyfriend.57. That’s right!58. Oh, yeah. Wow, I had totally forgotten about him.59. That’s a blast from the past, huh?60. No, it’s okay. Honest mistake.61. It really doesn’t mean anything. I mean, you know… Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.62. She does?63. Let’s get you out of here. 【SC・・・・4】64. Well, at least you took me down with you.65. I’m so sorry. I just-- I keep thinking about Mike.66. I’m crazy about David, and we’re having so much fun together.67. Why? Why do I miss Mike? That’s just-- That’s gonna go away, right?68. Well, I guess. In time.69. Yeah.70. I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.71. You just did it again. Chandler. Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone. 【SC・・・・5】72. Boy, Phoebe’s still pretty hung up on that Mike, huh?73. I wouldn’t read too much into it.74. Still, a girl calls you by her ex-boy friend’s name… that’s not a good thing, right?75. Let me stop you there.76. Because I think I see where this is going. I’m not very good at giving advice.77. See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey… for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.78. I’m sorry, I just wish there was something I could do, you know?79. Well, you know Phoebe-- 9-23&24-480. Seriously, we’re gonna do this?81. I’m sorry, I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already.82. Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?83. Oh, because his penis was too big.84. I’m sorry. That’s the kind of thing I do.85. They broke up because Mike didn’t want to get married.86. What if you let Phoebe know you’d be open to marriage?87. That’s great. That’s great. I’ll propose to her.88. What?89. I was probably going to do it at some point.90. No, I didn’t mean now.91. Well, why not? It’s brilliant.92. “Goodbye, Mike. We’ll see you at the wedding, fella.93. Well, we probably won’t invite you to the wedding, but--“94. Well, thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.95. Well, you’re welcome.96. Glad I could help.97. How do you think I should propose?98. I’m pretending to read here.99. I’m sorry. 【SC・・・・6】100. Yeah. How you doing?101. Hey, hey.102. Hey.103. You said you were gonna wear a thong. Where’s the thong?104. Ha, ha, I didn’t mean a thong. I meant thongs.105. You really should have been more clear about that.106. You’re never gonna guess who I just saw downstairs.107. Oh, uh, uh, Britney Spears!108. Yeah. She never misses these conferences.109. No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!110. Oh, my God!111. I know!112. Did you talk to him?9-23&24-5113. Oh, yeah. What am I gonna say to Kenneth Schwartz?114. You could say, “Hey, Kenny, how come you’re not Britney Spears?”115. You ready to go?116. You’re gonna go now?117. I thought we could hang out.118. I can’t. I have seminars all day.119. I promised Ross I’d look at his speech.120. But maybe we could have dinner later? Out on the balcony? It’ll be romantic.121. Will you wear a thong?122. I will if you will.123. You got yourself a very weird deal.124. I’m good. I have dinner plans.125. So you gonna be okay?126. Yeah, yeah.127. I got tons of stuff I could do. I’m gonna hit the beach, go swimming.128. Joe, have you looked outside?129. No. Why?130. Oh, man.131. There’s an indoor pool.132. You could swim there.133. Yeah.134. I wasn’t gonna swim. I was gonna dig a hole. 【SC・・・・7】135. That “Mike” was interesting. I don’t know what’s gonna happen… with Phoebe and David.136. I do. Want a hint, huh?137. I do.138. I do.139. Okay, I’m sensing this is some kind of wordplay… because you are pink with barely controlled glee.140. David’s gonna propose to Phoebe.141. What? Why?
December 3, 2015
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《Season9-22-3》The One With the Donor 初版・・・・2015年12月2日9-22-11288. I still have to find something incredible to wear… so I can beat Mike at “Who’s More Over Who”!289. Hey. Hi.290. Hey.291. Where have you been?292. Trying on clothes.293. Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that’s so weird.294. Phoebe and I were in the dressing room. Gosh, it’s just such a small world.295. Rachel, I heard you two guys whispering.296. Oh, God, you did, you heard. Okay, look, let me explain.297. There’s nothing to explain. I heard you.298. Phoebe likes Joey.299. Yeah.300. I don’t understand it. I mean, Phoebe likes Joey… and then she’s here to buy a dress to impress another guy?301. Yeah, that’s Phoebe. That’s Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all.302. It’s, like, she’s nympho.303. Wow!304. Yeah.305. You know, by the way, I heard you tell her not to do anything.306. Thanks for sticking up for me. God, you are such a nice person.307. I try. 【SC・・・・11】308. Oh!309. Oh, my God, you really want me to be the keynote speaker?310. Thank you!311. You’re welcome. 【SC・・・・12】312. Wow! You look… stop-eating hot!313. Which is like the highest level of hotness.314. Okay, are you sure? Because I am really dreading going to this party.9-22-12315. Then don’t go.316. Mike knows I’m coming. If I don’t show up, he’ll think it’s because of him… and then I’m gonna lose face. That’s a very serious thing in my culture. 317. All right, then you go to that party, and you pretend to be over Mike.318. Afterward, you come to my place and I’ll get you good and drunk.319. You got it. Okay.320. But not on the wine that you made, okay?321. Because I just don’t want to go back to the emergency room. 【SC・・・・13】322. David?323. Phoebe! Hi.324. Oh, my God!325. Hi.326. Wow! You look unbelievable.327. Oh, yeah, well….328. What are you doing here?329. Well, I’m back from Minsk. Uh, permanently.330. Well, what happened?331. Remember how I was trying to achieve… the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?332. Yeah.333. Well, after eight years of research, I discovered… that it can’t be done.334. Well… great that you’re back. How are you?335. Good. Good. Life is good.336. Good.337. Well, I’m seeing someone.338. Oh.339. Good for you.340. Yeah.341. She’s also a scientist, so she’s very smart and pretty and, um….342. It’s actually because of you that we’re together.9-22-13343. I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy… and I just said, “Boy, I want that.”344. Mike and I broke up.345. You’re kidding me.346. Because I’m not seeing anybody. I just totally made that up.347. Really?348. I don’t know why, I’m sorry.349. I guess I just didn’t want to lose face.350. I understand.351. Yeah. Okay. So then, okay….352. So we’re both living in New York, not seeing anyone.353. That’s so not like us.354. Yeah, I know.355. Well, this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that… but, um, do you have someplace that you need to be right now?356. Well….357. No.358. Well, do you want to get a drink?359. I’d love to.360. Great.361. Okay.362. Uh, do you smell beets?363. Oh, all right, stay upwind of me.364. Hey, there’s Phoebe. Is that Mike she’s with?365. No, that’s David.366. There’s a third guy?367. Tip of the iceberg. 【SC・・・・14】368. I’m gonna take off now.369. You’re gonna let me go home, aren’t you?370. Sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?371. No, I should get home. I’m kind of tired.372. Are you always tired?9-22-14373. Because that could be a sign of clinical depression.374. No, it’s tiring to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died.375. I’ll see you tomorrow.376. Okay.377. Bye.378. I think we found our sperm.379. He does seem pretty perfect.380. Yeah? You think so? Should I ask him?381. No.382. Why not? Just because his great-grandmother was obese?383. Our kid’s gonna get that from you anyway.384. No, that’s not it.385. It’s just that when we were asking him all those questions before… I just realized I don’t care if he is the most perfect guy in the world.386. He’s not you.387. Yeah, he’s better!388. No, he’s not.389. If I can’t get pregnant with you, then I don’t want to get pregnant by him… or anyone else.390. Really? Are you sure?391. Yeah, I’m sure.392. Thank God, because I don’t wanna do this either.393. I was just doing it because I thought that was what you wanted.394. I’m the husband. I’m supposed to bring the sperm.395. That is so sweet.396. I love you.397. So you know this leaves us with….398. Adoption.399. How do you feel about that?400. I think I feel okay about it.401. Actually, I think I feel really good about it.402. Me too.403. I wanna find a baby that needs a home, and I wanna raise it with 9-22-15you.404. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.405. So this is it? We’re really gonna adopt?406. Yeah.407. Oh, my God! We’re gonna be parents!408. We are gonna be great parents.409. And it could be soon.410. I mean, think about it. Right now, somewhere out there… our baby could be being conceived.411. Wait. If we’re lucky, and we’re really, really, really quiet… we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking. 【SC・・・・15】412. Hey, Zack.413. Hey, Chandler.414. I wanted to apologize for last night.415. I got the feeling we made you uncomfortable.416. No, you didn’t.417. Really?418. No, you did.419. My wife and I have some boundary issues.420. Sometimes we ask inappropriate questions.421. We’re working on it.422. Here are the boards for Friday’s pitch.423. Thank you.424. You wouldn’t know if she’s planning on keeping her baby, would you? 【Season9 第22話 完】
December 2, 2015
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《Season9-22-2》The One With the Donor 初版・・・・2015年12月2日9-22-6138. Because I’ve seen them.139. You’ve seen all the movies?140. Yeah. I’m a big fan.141. Of the movies.142. You know, motion pictures.143. The talkies.144. Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?145. Sure.146. Okay.147. Maybe we could do something else.148. You know, that depends on what it is. I’ve done a lot of stuff.149. So, what were you doing out there? Do you not like Charlie?150. She’s okay. I don’t know, I just don’t get a really good vibe from her.151. Why?152. I don’t know.153. You know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart… and tall, you know… and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance.154. Who else?155. Anybody.156. You.157. Me.158. You know, Monica’s mom.159. You like Joey?160. Shh! Phoebe!161. All right, look, I do. I have a little thing for him. Just-- 162. Oh, my God.163. It’s just physical.164. I have it totally under control, okay? It’s just when I see them together… sometimes, I just get a little jealous.165. Wow. Isn’t that ironic that he liked you, and now you like--?166. I get it!167. All right, as long as it’s under control.9-22-7168. You can’t do anything about it. He’s already dating her.169. She is a nice person. That wouldn’t be right.170. I know, I know. So it’s just not a big deal.171. So can we keep this between us?172. Sure.173. Great, because I gotta get out of here. The smell of beets is killing me.174. Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?175. Mm. 【SC・・・・6】176. Hi, honey.177. Hey.178. I brought a friend home for dinner. This is Zack from work.179. Oh, of course. It’s so nice to see you again, Zack.180. You too.181. You guys haven’t actually met before.182. But, boy, you’re both polite.183. Have a seat. I’ll get you a beer.184. I got it.185. Thanks.186. So Zack’s pretty nice, huh?187. Yeah, I guess.188. So how would you like to have a baby that’s half yours and half his?189. Excuse me?190. We’re talking about sperm donors, and Zack may be the guy.191. Look. He’s intelligent, he’s healthy, he’s athletic. I mean, he’s sperm-tastic!192. Chandler, this is crazy. Well, what did you even say to him?193. “Come up. Meet my wife. Give us your sperm.”194. I invited him to dinner so you’d get a chance to get to know him.195. With a sperm bank, you never meet the guy, get to check him out.196. Chandler!197. I’m telling you, he’s great.198. I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I think he’d be the way to go.9-22-8199. I’m not going to be a part of this.200. You can’t bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor.201. Okay.202. Zack?203. Thanks.204. Do you have a coaster? I don’t want to make a ring.205. Tell me about yourself, Zack. 【SC・・・・7】 Chap. 3206. Oh, God, do you think she heard? It’d be bad if she heard.207. Maybe she didn’t hear. I’ll go into that dressing room and talk. You stay here.208. See if you can hear me.209. Okay, great.210. Oh, thank God, I can’t hear a word that you’re saying.211. I didn’t say anything yet.212. Well, get back in there and talk.213. I’m Rachel.214. It’s so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.215. What?216. Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.217. Okay, well, I heard that. Which means that she heard it too.218. We have a problem.219. Oh, what are we gonna do?220. Just be honest with her.221. Oh, my God!222. It is annoying when parents put babies on the phone.223. All right, enough out of you! 【SC・・・・8】224. Hello?225. I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?226. No, she, uh, went shopping with Rachel. Why? What’s up?227. I’m meeting with Professor Sherman about my being the keynote 9-22-9speaker.228. How’s it going?229. It could be better.230. He, um…. He fell asleep.231. What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!232. Barbados.233. Fine, I’ll rent a car and drive.234. You have to get that job.235. What am I supposed to do? He’s out cold.236. In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before… and evidently he wants someone named Fran to “spank him harder.”237. Well, just wake him up.238. I can’t.239. If he realizes that I’m the one who put him to sleep, I won’t get the job.240. Ooh, that’s a tough one.241. Oh, wait a minute. This happened to me before.242. Yeah, I was auditioning for a play, and the producer fell asleep. I--243. No, wait a minute.244. It was me who fell asleep.245. I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while? 【SC・・・・9】246. Hey, guys, dinner’s ready.247. I’m gonna go wash up first.248. Thanks.249. What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones.250. Okay, there’s enthusiastic, and there’s just plain gay.251. You don’t like him.252. I think he’s fine.253. But we don’t know anything real about him.254. I wish we could get more information.255. All right, just follow my lead.256. You guys have a great place here.9-22-10257. Thanks. I’m crazy about our place.258. Hey, speaking of crazy… do you have a history of mental illness in the family?259. Uh, no. Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.260. That’s really not the kind of thing we’re looking for.261. Okay.262. So, um, tell me, how’d you guys meet?263. Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story.264. I’ve got a better question for you:265. Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?266. No.267. Uh, heart disease? Alzheimer’s? Gout?268. You guys don’t have people for dinner a lot, huh?269. We’re just making conversation.270. Yeah, well, okay. I heard a joke today. It’s pretty funny.271. You know what’s not funny? Male pattern baldness.272. You guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight, and I’m flattered… and quite frankly, a little frightened.273. Can we just talk about something else?274. Sure.275. All right.276. This ravioli’s delicious.277. I notice you’re enjoying that ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth.278. Did you have braces as a child?279. No, I didn’t.280. Yes!281. We’re teeth people, Zack. 【SC・・・・10】282. Let’s just do it. Let’s just go over there and see if she heard.283. Good plan.284. Okay.285. What? Where are you going?286. Oh, I’m sorry, Rachel.287. I don’t have time for your childish games, okay?
December 2, 2015
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《Season9-22-1》The One With the Donor 初版・・・・2015年12月2日9-22-11. Oh, that feels so good. 2. Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show.3. I’m sorry, what?4. I’m sorry.5. Nothing. I was just reading to Emma.6. From Cosmo?7. Yeah. Yeah, it’s, uh:8. “Climax Your Way to Better Skin.”9. So I have to go shopping today, which is my least favorite thing.10. I’m so bad at picking out clothes.11. So you need someone who knows fashion to, uh, tell you what looks good.12. Not me. Not me. Not me.13. Oh, hey, Rach?14. Yeah?15. Maybe you could take Charlie shopping?16. Oh, well….17. I’m sure you have better things to do.18. You kidding?19. Rachel loves to shop, and she has great taste.20. She’s the one that taught me not to wear white after Labor Day… and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes.21. If you have the time, I’d really appreciate the help.22. Okay. Yeah, let’s shop.23. Okay, you are gonna come back with some very classy clothes. Ha-ha-ha.24. And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!25. Okay, great. All right, bye.26. Pain in the ass!27. That’s off, right?28. What’s the matter, Pheebs?9-22-229. Ugh, Mike’s sister just invited me to a party tonight and he’s gonna be there.30. She was like, “Don’t worry. I asked him and he’s totally okay with seeing you.”31. So now I have to go so he’ll think that I’m totally okay with seeing him.32. You’re not. You’re hung up on him.33. Exactly.34. You want him to eat his heart out, so you have to look fabulous.35. I didn’t even think about that.36. Ugh. Sexual politics!37. Pheebs, I’m taking Charlie shopping.38. Come and I’ll help you find something.39. That’d be great.40. Oh, isn’t that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together.41. That’s not what we’re gonna do.42. Why’d you ruin it? Who was I hurting? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 243. Wow. Fortunately, she has a very pretty face.44. I still can’t believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment?45. I’ve always tried so hard to be a good hostess.46. I can’t believe my sperm have low motility.47. While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.48. Hi there.49. Hi.50. I’m sorry there wasn’t better news from your tests last week… but I wanted to talk to you about your options. 51. Okay.52. Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren’t great… you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis.53. Oh, damn it!9-22-354. Don’t worry. After a while, you’ll turn it out.55. Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success… would be surrogacy or insemination using a sperm donor.56. Okay.57. If you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt.58. Is that a hint?59. Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don’t want you to be our child.60. Wow. Talk about an inhospitable environment. 【SC・・・・3】61. Hi. Okay, you ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?62. Let’s do it.63. All right, have a good time.64. Not gonna find any clothes in there.65. Hey, you guys.66. Hi.67. Guess who’s up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?68. Uh, Chris Bailey?69. Yeah, right.70. When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?71. Why are you laughing?72. Just seeing what it’d be like to be a paleontologist.73. It’s fun. Yeah.74. You’re up for keynote speaker?75. Yeah.76. Who’s deciding?77. Professor Sherman.78. I’m meeting with him today.79. He’s a pretty tough guy to impress.80. I think I know how to dazzle him.81. Oh, you’re not gonna to do a magic trick, are you?9-22-482. Pfft. No.83. Hey, guys.84. I want to ask you something.85. I may get to speak at this paleontology convention.86. If I do, I’d love for you guys to come and hear me.87. I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and/or are sick.88. It’s in Barbados.89. But you come first.90. I’m there.91. We’ll see you guys.92. Bye.93. See you.94. Hey.95. So how did it go at the fertility clinic?96. Not as much fun as last time.97. Apparently, you only get porn if you’re giving a sperm sample.98. So, uh, what did the doctor say?99. There’s surrogacy, but Monica’s dreamt her whole life of carrying a child… and she just felt that watching a surrogate would be too hard for her.100. So you’re ruling out surrogacy?101. Yeah.102. So I don’t have to learn what that means?103. Aside from adoption, the only other choice is insemination… so we’re talking about sperm donors.104. Enough said. I’m there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?105. How do you feel about all this?106. I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child, but there isn’t one.107. Come on, Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it.108. What?109. What? No! I’m not gonna give them Ben! 【SC・・・・4】9-22-5110. The data we’re receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing… of these fossils are staggering.111. Mm-hm.112. I mean, we’ve been accepting Leakey’s dates as a given.113. But if they’re off by even a 100,000 years or so… then you can just throw most of our assumptions… you know, right in the trash.114. So, what I’m saying is….115. Is that….116. Is that, uh, repercussions could be huge.117. I mean, not just in paleontology, but if you think about it… in evolutionary biology, uh genetics, uh, geology.118. I mean, truly, the mind boggles.119. Well, that’s not what you want. 【SC・・・・5】120. Incentive for Men?121. I’ll take some of that.122. That’s for men.123. I know.124. When I go to the party later… Mike will know I’m over him because I’ll smell like another guy.125. Yeah.126. Okay.127. Oh, good, I’m dating a Russian cabdriver.128. Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.129. I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads in them. Where are those?130. Um, on Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.131. Um, I think what you want is over here.132. See, I told you I needed someone.133. By the way, as a thank you, I would really love to take you out.134. Really?135. Joey and I are going to a movie tonight.136. You want to come?137. Oh, I can’t.
December 2, 2015
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《Season9-21-3》The One With the Fertility Test 初版・・・・2015年12月1日9-21-11291. And that’s the Swedish national anthem. Thank you for asking.292. Wow, Ikea.293. What a rich culture.294. You know what? I have a friend who’s a masseuse.295. Oh? Ja, ja?296. Ja. She’s not very good, though.297. Uh-huh, uh-huh.298. And why do you think that is?299. I don’t know.300. Maybe it’s because she’s got such callousy fingers… from playing crummy guitar.301. Or maybe she has trouble loosening your knots… because you’re such a high-maintenance tight-ass.302. Phoebe!303. You know it’s me?304. Well, for like a half an hour!305. Man, you can lie about Sweden!306. How can you come here?307. Why didn’t you tell me you work here?308. I don’t have to tell you everything!309. You do if you’re gonna make me feel guilty for getting a free massage.310. Tip’s not included.311. Oh!312. Why did you lie to me about working here?313. Because I was ashamed, okay? I sold out for the cash.314. And they give me benefits, like medical and dental and a four-oh-wunk.315. But, you know, you pay a price. Now I’m this corporate stooge… and punching a clock… and paying taxes!316. Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much… you should walk out there right now and quit.317. Be true to what you believe in.318. Honey, you have principles, and I so admire that.9-21-12319. I don’t have any.320. You know what? You’re right. I am gonna quit.321. It’s time I took my life back.322. Good for you, Pheebs.323. Okay.324. If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn’t mean any of that.325. I love you. 【SC・・・・12】326. Aha! Got you! Die! Die! Die!327. Respectfully, Professor R. Geller. Hey. 328. Hi.329. Hey, how was the Met?330. Oh!331. The museum was amazing.332. Yeah?333. Yeah, Joey really knows his art, huh?334. Not so much, no.335. He had clearly memorized all this stuff to say… and some of it didn’t even make any sense.336. What do you mean?337. Well, for one… he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.338. Wait a minute. When you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?339. No. No, we went to the left.340. Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey.341. Still, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.342. Yeah. Yeah, it’s fun.343. What?344. Actually, Joey’s your friend… and you don’t know me that well. It’d be weird.345. Well, I mean, a little. But no, what? Go on.346. Well….9-21-13347. I’m thinking that maybe Joey isn’t the right guy for me right now.348. You know, maybe I should be with someone… I have more in common with. You know what I mean?349. Yeah.350. Yeah, but you know what?351. I think you should give Joey a chance.352. I mean, he’s a great guy.353. And sure, he doesn’t know that much about art… but you can always talk about that with someone else.354. I guess that’s true.355. If you think about it… he memorized all that stuff because he thought it was important to you.356. You know, that’s the kind of guy Joey is.357. He is very sweet.358. Plus, he is hot!359. That was gonna be my next argument.360. Hey.361. Hey.362. You ready?363. Yeah. Let’s go.364. Wow.365. Thanks, Ross.366. Yeah.367. Hey, Ross. That art stuff worked. You hooked me up.368. Glad I could help, man.369. Some of the stuff wasn’t where you said it would be, but I made it work. 【SC・・・・13】370. It is not okay that I’m aroused by this now.371. Hello?372. Oh. Hi, Dr. Connelly.373. No. Well, she’s not here… but I can tell her.374. Should I be sitting down for this?375. Oh.9-21-14376. Uh-huh.377. Uh-huh.378. Well, so, what does that mean?379. Okay. Okay, thank you.380. Thanks.381. Hey, sweetie.382. Dr. Connelly just called.383. With good news? Of course it’s not good news.384. You said, “Dr. Connelly just called.”385. If it was good, you’d have said, “Dr. Connelly just called!”386. So, what is it? Is it…?387. Is there a problem? Is there a problem with me, or with you?388. Actually, it’s both of us.389. What?390. Apparently, my sperm have low motility… and you have an inhospitable environment.391. Oh.392. Well, what does that mean?393. It means that my guys won’t get off their Barcaloungers… and you have a uterus that prepared to kill the ones that do.394. It means-- 395. Wait, Chandler.396. It means that we can keep trying… but there’s a good chance this may never happen for us.397. Oh, my God.398. I’m sorry.399. I’m sorry too.400. Well… we’re gonna figure this out.401. I know. 【SC・・・・14】 Chap. 4402. Good morning, Phoebe.403. Good morning, receptionist. 404. Here’s your schedule for the day. Your first client is in Room 1.405. “Rachel Green.” Son of a bitch! She came back?9-21-15406. Are you ready for your Scottish massage?407. Put your face in the hole, lassie! 【Season9 第21話 完】
December 1, 2015
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《Season9-21-2》The One With the Fertility Test 初版・・・・2015年12月1日9-21-6148. Then why do you work here?149. Because it’s good money.150. But that doesn’t change the fact… that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.151. Well, I think this is a great place to work.152. Okay, are they listening? 【SC・・・・6】153. Ross. Hey.154. Hi.155. I need to talk to you about Charlie.156. Oh, do you? Do you really?157. Yeah, I’m kind of having a little problem.158. Look, if you don’t know what the word “acrimonious” means, just don’t use it.159. Look, you know Charlie, right?160. She’s cool, funny, her body is so-- 161. Get to the problem.162. Right. She’s just so much smarter than all the girls I’ve ever dated.163. Combined.164. You know? And I just-- I don’t want her to think I’m stupid.165. Are you wearing two belts?166. Hey, what do you know?167. You were saying you didn’t want to seem stupid.168. Well, she wants to go to all these cultural places… and I don’t know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out.169. I don’t want to get involved in your guys’ relationship.170. Oh, dude, please. Come on, you’re the smartest person I know.171. And I really like this girl, okay? I don’t want to lose her.172. Fine.173. Thanks.174. Okay. Let’s see.175. Oh, you should take her to the Met.176. The Mets.9-21-7177. No, no, no. The Met. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.178. Oh, that’s what she meant.179. If they’re gonna shorten it, they should call it the “Muse,” you know?180. Short for “museum” and avoid all the confusion.181. Yeah, most days the place is packed with confused, angry baseball fans.182. Okay. All right, so I’ll take her to the Met.183. Yeah. Okay. There’s this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue.184. You know what? She loves architecture.185. You should take a walk down Fifth to the St. Patrick’s Cathedral.186. And there, there’s this great little pastry shop that she’d love.187. Jeez. Sounds like you should be going on this date.188. But I’m not.189. And you know what--?190. Okay, slow down.191. You’re going way too fast. Okay?192. Just go back to the Met.193. Okay.194. So you gotta tell me exactly what to do there.195. When you walk into the museum, take a right, okay?196. That’s the antiquities wing.197. Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.198. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.199. Okay. So I walk in the door and make a right. 【SC・・・・7】200. I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know… they won’t secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet?201. Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible… nobody’s gonna wanna watch that.202. Mr. Bing? Here you are.203. Go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.204. Deposit my specimen?9-21-8205. I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk.206. Thanks. Got it.207. All right. Honey, my tests are down the hall.208. Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?209. Yeah, I guess.210. Look, I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares.211. No one here even knows you.212. Oh, my God!213. Oh, come on! 【CC・・・・8】 Chap. 3214. How great is this?215. We’re probably fertile. Let’s go home.216. Why are you here?217. Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time-- 218. No, no, no. I mean, why? Why is she here?219. Oh, someone’s a little cranky today because they have to do it in a cup. Ha, ha, ha.220. Oh, they gave you the kiddie size.221. What?222. This was fun. But I’ve got an invasive vaginal exam to get to.223. I’d love to stay but I’ve got a hot date.224. Please go. Just let me know if you need a hand. Ha, ha, ha.225. I think it just fell off. 【SC・・・・9】226. Hello, ja.227. It’s time for your massage, ja?228. Put your face in the hole.229. A Swedish massage from a real Swedish person.230. Okay, then I’m Swedish.231. So, what’s your name?232. It’s a normal Swedish name.233. Ikea.234. Wow. What an interesting name.235. Yeah.9-21-9236. You know, I-- 237. Time for your scalp massage.238. Oh.239. Wow. I really love your-- 240. Is something wrong?241. No, it’s just, um….242. It just feels so good… Ikea.243. Hey, say, you’ll know this. What’s the capital of Sweden?244. Um….245. Stockholm.246. Damn. I wish I knew if that was right.247. Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas.248. Monet painted quickly, and usually outdoors… as his elusive subject was light itself.249. Now, do you have any idea what you just said?250. No, no. My mouth says the words, my brain is thinking “monster trucks.”251. Now, remember, when you get to the museum… Monet is not spelled M-O-N-A-Y. I just-- 252. I wrote that out phonetically for you.253. Phonetically?254. Yeah, that means-- We just don’t have time for this.255. I gotta say, I’m really impressed you were able to memorize all this so quickly.256. I’m an actor. I can memorize anything.257. Last week on Days, I had to say:258. “Frontal temporal Zygomatic craniotomy.”259. Wow. What does that mean?260. No idea.261. But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene… so I guess it means, “You’ll get eaten by a bear.”262. Okay.263. So let’s move on to the Renaissance.264. Okay.9-21-10265. Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here… to highlight the anguish of the central figure.266. Touch it. It’s really bumpy.267. Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. No, no, no. No ad-libbing. And, dude, you can’t touch the paintings.268. Come on.269. No. No! 【SC・・・・10】270. My specimen’s in the room.271. I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there.272. Really helped speed the process along.273. Janice, you’re not gone?274. Sid is still in his room.275. I don’t allow porn at home, so this is like a vacation for him.276. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?277. Yeah. The hard part’s over.278. That’s not the hard part, honey.279. The hard part’s what comes next. Aren’t you worried about the results?280. I haven’t even thought about the results.281. I just assumed everything would be okay.282. Well, you know what? It probably is.283. But what if it’s not okay?284. I mean, what if there’s a reason we can’t have a baby?285. Chandler. Look, you and Monica are meant to have children.286. I’m sure it’s gonna be just fine.287. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. I can’t believe I didn’t even think of that.288. I guess I was so worried about having to come here and do that.289. You can do it in a Taco Bell parking lot… but you can’t do it at a doctor’s office?290. It was a Wendy’s! 【SC・・・・11】
December 1, 2015
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《Season9-21-1》The One With the Fertility Test 初版・・・・2015年12月1日9-21-11. It’s so weird. How did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night?2. I thought you’d end up kissing Charlie.3. I thought I’d end up kissing Charlie too.4. But surprise!5. I missed most of the party.6. Charlie’s a girl, right?7. Yeah, she’s this new professor in my department that I did not kiss.8. I don’t know why Joey had to kiss her. Of all the girls at the party, God!9. Why do you care so much?10. Yes, Rachel. Why do you care so much?11. Because Ross is the father of my child.12. You know, and I want him to hook up with lots of women.13. All I’m saying is, I don’t think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.14. I don’t know. They seemed to have a shared interest in each other’s tonsils.15. Wow. Joey and a professor. Can you imagine if they had kids?16. And if the kids got her intelligence… and Joey’s raw sexual magnetism… those nerds would get laid!17. All right. So, Ross, you’re okay with all this? I mean….18. It’s no big deal. I just met her. I’m fine with it.19. God, I forgot how hot she was.20. I’m gonna get some more coffee.21. Hi.22. Oh, you know, I’ll come with you.23. Okay.24. So a professor, huh?25. Yeah. She is cool. And she’s so smart.26. Her mind is totally acrimonious.27. Guess that’s not how she used it.28. I feel like I owe you an explanation.9-21-229. I don’t ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties.30. I’m….31. Well, I’m kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don’t think less of me.32. Think less of you? No. I don’t think less of you.33. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them.34. Those people who like someone and don’t kiss them… those people are stupid. I hate those people.35. Actually, I’m a little surprised at myself.36. I mean, Joey’s so different from the guys I usually date.37. They’re all professors, intellectuals. Paleontologists mostly.38. You know, very cerebral-- 39. Yeah, I know the type.40. If we want to grab a bite before work, we’d better get acrimonious.41. No? Am I getting close? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 242. Hey!43. Hi.44. Hey, you guys. Look what I just got.45. Oh, wow! I love those! Where did you get them?46. I bought them off eBay. They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.47. Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive.48. Oh, then I overpaid.49. Hey, what’s this?50. Oh, it’s a gift certificate to this new spa in SoHo.51. You can’t show Phoebe this. She hates those corporate massage chains.52. What, now I can’t get a massage?53. There are so many things that she disapproves of.54. I can’t eat veal. I can’t wear fur.55. I can’t go hunting.56. Do you want to go hunting?57. I would like to have the option.9-21-358. What’s that? Hey, Rachel?59. Ah….60. No, you can’t go there!61. You know how I feel about these big massage places.62. They’re putting people like me out of business.63. She wants to go hunting too!64. Phoebe, come on, I don’t want to waste it.65. It would be like throwing away 100 bucks.66. Okay, this is not about the money. Okay?67. It’s about corporate greed destroying our hearts… and leaving us hollow shells.68. I don’t care about any of that.69. Well, do you care about friendship? I feel really strongly about this.70. Please don’t use this gift certificate. I’m asking you as a friend.71. Oh, not as a friend. Phoebe!72. Fine. I won’t use it.73. Promise?74. I promise.75. Thank you.76. Well, I am going hunting. 【SC・・・・3】77. Hey, honey. I missed you today.78. Oh, yeah?79. Yeah. Hey.80. What do you wanna do tonight?81. Oh, well, maybe we could, uh….82. Okay, trying to turn me on by making a mess?83. Know your audience.84. Besides, tomorrow we’re doing those fertility tests.85. Until then, you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.86. Do we really need to take those tests?87. We’re been trying to have a baby for a year.88. I think it’s a good idea to find out if everything’s okay.89. Just a few routine tests.9-21-490. But I don’t want to do it in a cup.91. What is the big deal?92. It’s weird! You’re in a doctor’s office.93. It’s not okay to do it in a doctor’s office… but it is okay to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell? 94. I cannot believe Ross told you that.95. And in my defense, it was a Wendy’s.96. Look, I don’t want to do these tests either.97. But I really do think it’s a good idea.98. I’m sure a doctor’s office can’t be worse… than on a class trip to the Hershey factory.99. Oh, yeah! Rachel talks too! 【SC・・・・4】100. Who says wine has to cost more than milk?101. Hey!102. Hi.103. Come on in. How are you?104. I’m good.105. Can I offer you a drink?106. Please.107. I have been crazed all day.108. I had a meeting with the dean, my syllabus for summer school’s due… and I’m writing the foreword for a book.109. I had a pretty hectic day at work too. Today I had to open a door and go:110. So I am just so excited to be here.111. I can’t wait to explore the city.112. If you need a tour guide….113. Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun.114. Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Okay. What do you want to see first?115. We could go see the Kronos Quartet at Avery Fisher Hall.116. Okay.117. There’s a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public9-21-5 library.118. I know.119. But first, I have to see the Met.120. Okay, let me stop you right there.121. The Mets suck, okay?122. You wanna see the Yankees.123. No. No, not the Mets. The Met. Singular.124. Which one? They all suck.125. The museum.126. I don’t think so. 【SC・・・・5】127. Hi there.128. Hello. Welcome to Lavender Day Spa.129. How may I help you?130. Hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green.131. Okay.132. And here is my gift certificate.133. This has been torn up.134. And taped back together.135. Okay. Well, I’ll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.136. Okay.137. Have a seat through the glass doors.138. Through the glass doors.139. Through the glass doors.140. Alrighty then.141. Phoebe, your next client’s in the waiting room.142. Do we have to talk like that when they’re not around?143. Oh, no. No, no.144. Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?145. Sorry. Everyone is booked.146. That woman can’t know I work here.147. She’s a friend of mine and I made this big stink… about how awful these massage chains are.
December 1, 2015
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《Season9-20-3》The One With the Soap Opera Party 初版・・・・2015年11月30日9-20-11 【SC・・・・9】 286. I bet you’re thinking that now would be a great time for an intermission, huh?287. Oh, yes. God, yes.288. Well, you’re not gonna get one!289. Because in life, there are no intermissions, people!290. Now, Chapter 7: Divorce is a Four-Letter Word!291. How could he leave me?!292. I don’t know. You seem lovely. 【SC・・・・10】293. Ross, this is one of my costars, Dirk. Dirk, this is my good friend Ross.294. Nice to meet you.295. So, what show are you on?296. I’m not an actor. I’m a professor of paleontology.297. That’s science.298. Oh.299. Hey, well, listen, I play a scientist on Days.300. Yeah, my character just won a Nobel Prize.301. Dirk was wondering about the woman you brought and if you two are together?302. Oh. Well, no, but….303. I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.304. Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.306. I’d lead with that.307. That’s it. Just sign right on the bra.308. Monica!309. Don’t worry, Joe. I won’t come next year!310. What the--?311. What do you got there?312. Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.313. Oh, really? Let me see.314. Oh.315. Damn, that’s a lot of guys.9-20-12316. Are you a little slutty?317. I think I am.318. Let me see if I approve of any of these clowns.319. This guy wears a rug.320. Well….321. This guy’s Canadian.322. Oh, and this guy is in a cult, okay?323. It’ll cost you $5000 to get to level three, and I don’t feel any different.324. Pass. Pa-- Oh, pass. Pass.325. Why? What’s wrong with these guys?326. Well, nothing major.327. It’s just that, you know, they’re not really good enough for you… and you deserve the best.328. Joey, you’re so sweet.329. It’s true, but it doesn’t matter. I already know who you’re going home with.330. Who?331. Me.332. What?333. Really?334. Yeah, because we live together. It’s a joke! It’s a joke.335. Right! That’s funny! I get it!336. Got you!337. You’re funny, Joey.338. Oh, my God.339. So how did you enjoy the play?340. Oh, my God. Honey, I am so, so, so sorry.341. You should be.342. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.343. You really liked it?344. Oh, yeah. I mean, at first I hated it.345. But why wouldn’t I ? Because as a man, I’ve been trained not to 9-20-13listen!346. But after Chapter 16: Fat, Single and Ready to Mingle… I was uplifted.347. Oh, really?348. Oh, yeah.349. I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman.350. Tell me-- Tell me about your first period.351. No!352. Did somebody sign your bra?353. So I got it when I was 13. Very difficult.354. Hey, Ross? So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl?355. Are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel Prizes scare you off?356. What is that? Come on, a piece of paper?357. It’s actually a million-dollar prize.358. Go, Charlie!359. But my point is… okay, so she dated them, but she also broke up with them.360. Maybe she’s looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Ph.D. 361. Yeah, maybe, and I do have my whole career in front of me.362. I mean….363. I could still win a Nobel Prize.364. Although the last two papers I’ve written were widely discredited.365. You’re so much more than just brains. You are sweet and kind and funny.366. And sexy.367. Okay, well, give her a chance to see all that.368. Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.369. Thanks. I’m gonna go find her.370. Good for you.371. Your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian Era was topnotch.372. Stop going through my stuff!373. Hey.9-20-14374. Hey.375. I just wanted to let you know I’ve changed my mind.376. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna kiss Joey.377. No! You can’t! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.378. Please! What about you and Chandler?379. That’s different. I was drunk and stupid.380. Well, hello?381. What about all the guys that you got the phone numbers from?382. Why don’t you just kiss one of them.383. I could… but I don’t want to. I want to kiss Joey.384. All right. I think it’s a big mistake, but it’s your decision.385. I’m gonna do it.386. And I can’t stop you?387. No.388. Hey, Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?389. I’m smarter than him! 【SC・・・・11】 Chap. 4390. Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.391. This was a really important experience for me. I wanted to share it with you.392. You’re so wonderful.393. Why Don’t You Like Me?394. Chapter 1: My First Period.395. I can’t believe you guys bought that. Enjoy your slow death. 【Season9 第20話 完】
November 30, 2015
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《Season9-20-2》The One With the Soap Opera Party 初版・・・・2025年11月30日9-20-6142. When we exit, should we walk or run… or prance or stroll--?143. Stop it! Stop it! He talks slow, but he might pee fast. Okay, let’s move! 【SC・・・・5】144. Oh, hey, you guys, this is Charlie.145. Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.146. Hi.147. Charlie will be joining my department.148. You’re a paleontologist too?149. Yeah.150. Oh, okay. Now, what do you think… of Renyard’s new theory of species variegation in segmented arthropods?151. I think he’s a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas.152. Oh, I’m sorry. I have to take this. Excuse me.153. Renyard’s theory of species variegation?154. I saw the article on your coffee table. I memorized the title to freak you out.155. So did you two have fun?156. Oh, my God. She’s great.157. We have so much in common, and she’s just cool, you know? And funny.158. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s a hottie!159. Hi!160. Hey.161. Hey.162. Hi, you guys. Listen, you know what, I’m not feeling really well… and I don’t think I’m gonna get to go to the play.163. Really? What’s wrong?164. I don’t know. I think it’s kind of serious.165. You know, I was watching this thing on TV this morning… about Newcastle disease, and I think I might have it.166. Newcastle disease is a secretion-borne virus… that only affects chickens and other poultry.9-20-7167. Okay, who’s this?168. I’m sorry. Rachel, this is Charlie Wheeler. She’s a colleague.169. Hi. Well, I would shake your hand… but I’m sure you don’t want to get my chicken disease. 170. Rachel, can I see you for a second?171. Sure.172. You’re not sick.173. What? Yes, I am!174. Okay, then why are you all dressed up?175. When you’re sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.176. You just want to stay home so you can make a move on Joey.177. No, I heard you before. That is so not what this is.178. Okay, then what is this?179. Okay.180. Joey is having a secret Days of our Lives party up on the roof.181. And he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you.182. What?!183. What? What’s going on?184. Joey is having a secret Days of our Lives party up on the roof!185. He didn’t want you to know about it, but I came over here to tell you.186. You came to say you were sick.187. All right, professor or detective?188. Wait, Joey’s having a party, and he wasn’t gonna invite us?189. He does it every year. That’s why he’s sending you to the play.190. That’s why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory.191. And that horrible museum tour?192. No, I arranged that.193. Hey, you guys, I’m turning in. Have fun.194. We know about your party, Joey.195. What party?196. The game’s over. Take off your robe.9-20-8197. Okay, I mean….198. No!199. Close it up! Close it up!200. Nice to meet you. 【SC・・・・6】 Chap. 3201. Hey, you made it! All right!202. Glad you could make it. Thanks for coming.203. Oh, my God. Kyle Lowder!204. Hi.205. I love you!206. Hey. That’s why I didn’t invite you. You have to calm down, all right?207. Just get yourself a drink or something.208. Oh, yeah, that’s what you want. My inhibitions lowered.209. Hey.210. My God, can you believe we’re surrounded by all this?211. I can barely control myself.212. You might want to remember that you’re married.213. Where is Chandler anyway?214. Oh, my God! Chandler! 【SC・・・・7】215. Where the hell is everybody?216. Why Don’t You Like Me?217. Chapter 1: My First Period. 【SC・・・・8】218. Hey, Joey said no autographs.219. But if she’s getting one, I want one too!220. “To Monica.” And none of this “best wishes” crap. I want “love.”221. Okay, actually, Mon, Matthew was giving me his phone number.222. Oh, man! If I had known I was coming to this party… I never would’ve gotten married!223. It was nice to meet you.224. Nice to meet you.225. Call me.9-20-9226. We will!227. Look at you with all the guys!228. Yeah.229. I guess you’ve forgotten Joey.230. Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey.231. And clearly, you’ve forgotten about Chandler.232. Please. Chandler’s the love of my life.233. Oh, leather pants! Have mercy!234. So it’s probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?235. Actually, I’m kind of happy to be leaving. I just broke up with someone.236. Oh, so sad.237. Still, it can’t be easy for you to leave Harvard.238. Especially after working with a Nobel Prize winner Albert Wintermeyer.239. Actually, Albie is the guy I broke up with.240. You dated Albert Wintermeyer?241. Yeah.242. And you called him “Albie”?243. I mean, that’s like calling Albert Einstein….244. Albie.245. Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.246. You think? I mean, you dated the guy… who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!247. Yes, and while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend… he had a lot of issues.248. Oh, like what?249. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. It’s just that this must be… what regular people experience when they watch Access Hollywood.250. Okay, you want the dirt?251. Albie was seriously insecure.252. He was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.253. Who’s intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?254. A guy who won two.9-20-10255. Two? What--?256. Don’t tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart?257. Yeah, for three years.258. Oh, my God.259. Have you ever dated someone who hasn’t won the Nobel Prize?260. No.261. But there was my first boyfriend, Billy.262. Oh, yeah? No Nobel Prizes for him?263. No, but he did just win a MacArthur “genius grant.”264. What a loser.265. Some more wine?266. Hey, Ross. How’s it going with Charlie?267. Oh, great. After I finish my wine… I’m gonna blow my average sized brains out.268. What’s the matter?269. She only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners.270. Oh, my God, at the Chinese restaurant earlier today… I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretended to be a woolly mammoth.271. I always loved that.272. Of course you would! Your brains are smaller than mine!273. I can’t compete with the guys she goes out with.274. They’re so out of my league.275. Oh, my God!276. Worse?277. Oh, much, much worse.278. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians.279. “Can we walk?”280. Oh, you like that?281. No.282. What?283. Come on! I think that’s funny!284. Woolly mammoth.285. It’s good!
November 30, 2015
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《Season9-20-1》The One With the Soap Opera Party 初版・・・・2015年11月30日9-20-11. Hey, you guys? What are you doing tomorrow night?2. Oh, well, let me see. I believe I’m….3. Yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.4. Well, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.5. I could fall asleep at a play.6. What is it?7. It’s a one-woman play called:8. Why Don’t You Like Me? A Bitter Woman’s Journey Through Life.9. Ooh.10. That sounds interesting.11. That does sound interesting.12. To listen to a woman complain for two hours. I don’t think it gets bet-- 13. I know! I know. We can drive. We can vote. We can work.14. What more do these broads want?15. Well, you guys will have a great time. I promise.16. What? How come you don’t have to go?17. I wish I could, but I found out… that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can’t go.18. But take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.19. Ooh. Let’s see. Who do I hate?20. Oh, sorry.21. Oops, sorry.22. Okay.23. Okay.24. Okay. Up you go.25. Oh, gosh, okay!26. All right.27. Can I ask you a question?28. Yeah.29. Do you think it’s possible for two friends to fool around… and not have it be a big deal?9-20-230. No, I don’t think that ever works. Why?31. No reason.32. No, no. Rachel?33. Yeah.34. Who do you want to fool around with?35. Nobody! Forget it.36. Joey?37. Maybe.38. You can’t.39. Why?40. Because.41. Okay, seriously, did not understand a word you just said.32. In the hall.33. Okay.34. You wanna fool around with Joey?35. Yeah.36. Ever since I had that dream about him, I can’t get it out of my head.37. I mean, what’s the big deal? People do it all the time.38. Who do you know that are friends that just fool around?39. Okay. Off the top of my head…. Don and Janet.40. Who are they?41. I know them from work.42. Both of them?43. No, just one of them.44. Which one?45. I don’t know. What were the names I just said?46. No, Rachel, things could get incredibly complicated.47. You’re right. I won’t do anything with Joey. I just thought it-- 48. Okay, so that’s two cups of tarragon, a pound of baking soda and a red onion?49. What the hell are you cooking? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 250. Hey.51. Hey.9-20-352. You guys won’t believe what I have to do for work today.53. Yes, but, Ross, you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.54. There are these two professors who are joining my department… and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.55. What’s bad about that?56. I just know they’ll be a couple of old windbags… wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.57. Ross?58. What? These aren’t suede.59. Excuse me. I’m looking for someone.60. You don’t, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?61. No.62. Hi. Hi, I’m Ross Geller.63. Oh, hi. I’m Professor Wheeler.64. Oh.65. Oh, that’s-- That’s-- That’s nice.66. It’s good to meet you.67. Thank you so much for taking the time to show me around.68. No, it’s no big deal.69. If I weren’t doing this, I’d just, you know, be at the gym working out.70. Is he gonna introduce us?71. I think we’re just blurry shapes to him now.72. By the way, I really enjoyed your paper… on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.73. I wrote that in one night.74. Twenty bucks says they’re married within the month.75. Well, we should probably get going.76. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.77. Isn’t another professor supposed to come with us?78. I don’t think so.79. I’m pretty sure. A Professor Spafford from Cornell?80. Well, he’s obviously late, and the rule in my class is:81. If you can’t come on time, then don’t come at all.82. An option that many of my students use.9-20-483. Shall we?84. We shouldn’t wait for him?85. You know what, he’s a big boy. I’m sure he’ll find us, okay?86. Professor Geller?87. Oh, damn it! 【SC・・・・3】88. Hi, it’s Jan Rogers. Can’t wait for your party tonight.89. Listen, I forgot your address. Can you give me a call? Thanks. Bye.90. Hey!91. Hey!92. What’s happening?93. It’s a real shame you can’t make it to that one-woman show tonight.94. I’d love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day.95. You know me, work comes first.96. Oh, yeah, yeah.97. Hi, it’s Jan Rogers. Can’t wait for your party tonight.98. Stupid Jan Rogers!99. You are having a party tonight?100. I’m kind of having a thing for the Days of our Lives people.101. You weren’t gonna tell us?102. How did you think you’d get away with that?103. I do it every year.104. You do that every year?!105. I didn’t have to tell you that!106. God, I’m stupider than Jan Rogers!107. That’s why you got us tickets to that play, to get rid of us!108. Yeah.109. Last year is that why you sent us to that Medieval Times restaurant?110. Yeah.111. The year before that, you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?112. I can’t believe you guys went for that one.9-20-5113. Why wouldn’t you invite us to your parties?114. You’re fine, okay? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people.115. Well, then, so just invite me.116. Please, I was trying to be nice. You’re the worst one.117. Joey, come on! Please, please? Let me come. I will behave. I promise.118. I will behave. Please, please, please.119. Okay, fine. You can come.120. But don’t tell anybody else. It’s up on the roof at 8.121. A soap-opera roof party?!122. I’m going to a soap-opera roof party! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!123. And it’s out of my system. 【SC・・・・4】124. And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos.125. There was a seafood buffet you wouldn’t believe.126. There were clams and mussels and oysters… and cracked crab… … and snow crab… and king crab.127. It’s a pity I’m allergic to shellfish.128. So where did you get your undergraduate degree?129. And that’s not all I’m allergic to.130. Oh, it’s not over.131. I’m also allergic to peanuts and cashews… and almonds and filberts-- 132. So basically all nuts!133. Interestingly, no.134. You’re kind of playing it fast and loose with the word “interesting.”135. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to use the restroom.136. Oh, my God!137. I’ve lost the will to live.138. Let’s ditch him.139. What?140. While he’s still in the bathroom. I am begging you.141. Okay. Okay, fine, but I just have one question for you.
November 30, 2015
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《Season9-19-3》The One With Rachel's Dream 初版・・・・2015年11月29日9-19-11287. What are people having, the garlic martini? 【SC・・・・9】288. Here’s your bill. We hope you enjoyed your stay.289. Oh, we did. And you still have all your lamps.290. I didn’t factor in the room tax.291. Dude, don’t worry about it.292. I found an unattended maid’s cart. We’re way ahead of the game.293. Oh, my God.294. What?295. There’s something new in the bowl.296. Look, we have enough. Just walk away.297. No, but I want the pine cones.298. There’s a forest right outside.299. It’s not the same.300. Okay, go quick.301. Thank you for a delightful stay.302. My maple candy! 【SC・・・・10】303. The food here at Javu Will kill you304. The food here at Javu Will kill you305. It’s just you. I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.306. You’d better get back in that kitchen. The garlic’s not gonna overuse itself.307. Okay, you have to stop playing now.308. Why?309. The only person my playing is bothering is you.310. Oh, yeah? Let’s settle this. Come on.311. Get your garlic peelers off me.312. Excuse me? Excuse me?313. Hi, I’m Monica Geller. I’m the head chef here.314. Okay, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever.315. Quick question. By a show of hands… how many of you were9-19-12 bothered by this woman’s singing outside?316. Okay, okay. How many of you enjoyed the music outside?317. Ha!318. Let me ask you this question. How many thought the music was fine… but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant?319. Who identified this restaurant’s tone as “pretentious-comma-garlicky”?320. Okay, who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretension never hurt anyone?321. Okay, well, all right, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine … but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll-taking?322. Excuse us.323. All right, here’s a question.324. Uh, who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy… that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music… and feels really bad about it now?325. Well, who was do stupid and stubborn… that she lashed out against her friend’s cooking… which she actually thinks is pretty great?326. I’m sorry.327. I’m sorry too.328. Hey, you wanna stick around and I’ll whip you up some dinner?329. Yeah, as long as it’s free. The food here is ridiculously overpr—330. Who hopes the hand-raising thing is still cute enough that you won’t hate me? 【SC・・・・11】331. Hey.332. Hey.333. Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?334. Oh, man. I thought I got it all.335. How…?336. How?337. I was making a peanut butter smoothie, right?338. I couldn’t find this little plastic thingy that goes in the top of the 9-19-13blender.339. And I thought, “Well, you know, how important can that be?” Right?340. Turns out, very.341. Wow, definitely just Drake.342. What?343. How’s it going with Drake?344. I don’t think it’s going very well.345. What?346. That scene I saw was so good.347. Well, I’m feeling really insecure about the one we’re shooting tomorrow.348. Is this that thing you do when you say you’re bad so I’ll give you a compliment?349. A little.350. No, I really am worried. I have to make it convincing that I’m in love with Olivia.351. So?352. So I’ve never played that.353. Oh, honey, it can’t be that hard. I mean, you’ve been in love before.354. Uh, well, just once… with you.355. Okay. Well, this could be a little awkward.356. I’m just gonna blow past it.357. Well, look, can’t you just use that method-actor thing… where you use your real-life memories to help you in your performance?358. What the hell are you talking about?359. All right, look, just, um, try to remember how you felt when you were in love… and think about that when you’re playing the scene.360. Oh.361. Okay. Yeah, I think I can do that.362. Yeah. Okay, there’s this party scene coming up.363. Uh-huh.364. And Olivia and her husband are there… and all Drake wants to do9-19-14 is grab her and kiss her, but he can’t.365. That makes me think about those times I wanted to grab you and kiss you… but you didn’t know, so I would just pretend everything was cool… but really it was killing me.366. Joey, you never talked about that before.367. Well….368. Hey, you know what else I could use?369. There’s this scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia’s bedroom… and she doesn’t know he’s there, which never happened with us.370. I mean, he knows he shouldn’t be there, but he just wants to look at her.371. You know?372. And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your makeup… when I would think to myself, “My God, she is beautiful.”373. And it hurt so much because I knew I could never tell you.374. But it was worth it just to be there looking at you.375. Thanks, dude. This is great! 【SC・・・・12】376. I got you something from Vermont.377. Besides tampons and salt?378. Oh, my God.379. Maple candy. That’s so sweet of you.380. That’s weird, it’s empty.381. Hi, you guys. What’s going on? You guys wanna hang out, or…?382. Do you guys hear a buzzing? 【Season9 第19話 完】
November 29, 2015
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《Season9-19-2》The One With Rachel's Dream 初版・・・・2015年11月29日9-19-6143. She doesn’t know what to say.144. Just give us the cheapest room you have.145. The only thing we have available is our deluxe suite. The rate is $600.146. That’s insane.147. It’s totally insane.148. Let’s drive home. We’ll hit all the maple-candy stores on the way back… and if they’re closed, then maybe we’ll tap a tree and make some ourselves.149. Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?150. We’ll take it.151. Great.152. They are totally ripping us off!153. Dude, don’t worry about it.154. I know how to make your money back. This is a nice hotel. Plenty of amenities.155. We just load up on those. Like those apples. Instead of taking one… um, I take six.156. Great. At $100 an apple, we’re there.157. Come on, you get the idea. You know, we’ll make our money back in no time.158. Dude, you’re shaking.159. It’s the sugar. Could you hold the apple? 【SC・・・・6】160. Hi.161. Hey.162. Joey, I got to tell you, I have been thinking all day about that scene you did.163. You were amazing.164. Oh.165. You know, the writing was good. And the director’s good.166. And my costar’s good.167. But they’re not as good as me!168. You have to tell me what happens tomorrow.9-19-7169. I’m going over the script now. Wanna read lines with me?170. Me? Oh, I’m not an actress.171. I can ask Monica.172. Screw her! That part is mine!173. Right.174. Okay, so, uh, just from the top of the page right here.175. Okay.176. Hello, Drake. I’m surprised to see you here.177. I can’t believe you married him. 178. Well, what choice did I have?179. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon.180. So, what about us? Everything we feel for each other?181. It’s over. You have to accept that.182. How can I, knowing I’ll never hold you in my arms again… or touch your skin or feel your lips… knowing I’ll never make love to you?183. How can I accept that I can never kiss you again… when it’s all I can not to kiss you right now?184. Kiss me.185. What?186. Kiss me.187. Uh, Rach, it doesn’t say that.188. No, I’m saying it.189. But-- 190. Just don’t talk.191. Well, that’s new. 【SC・・・・7】 Chap. 3192. Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206.193. Um, I’ve forgotten a couple of things.194. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room?195. Thank you. Okay, a toothbrush, toothpaste… razor, mouthwash, deodorant, floss, Band-Aids, shaving cream, after shave.196. And I feel like I’m forgetting something.197. Um, is there anything else you have that I haven’t asked for already?9-19-8198. Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.199. What’d you get?200. USA Today.201. Nice. Put it with the others.202. And I also got two more apples.203. We’re four short of a bushel!204. God, I feel so alive. I love being in the country!205. Also, got these great salt and pepper shakers… from the restaurant.206. That’s not cool.207. Dude, none of this is cool.208. Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing… and taking what the hotel owes you.209. For example: a hair dryer, no, no, no.210. But shampoos and conditioners, yes, yes, yes.211. Now, the salt shaker is off limits. Ah.212. But the salt….213. I wish I’d thought this through.214. I think I get what you mean, though. Like, the lamp is the hotel’s … but the bulbs-- Oh, you already got that.215. Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.216. Okay, uh, how about this?217. No, no, no.218. You can’t take the remote control.219. Yes, but the batteries.220. Thank you. Thank you very much.221. Ooh! Let’s celebrate with some maple candy.222. No!223. At least tell me where you hid it. 【SC・・・・8】224. Can I ask you a question?225. Yeah.226. Have you ever had any… weird, romantic dreams?227. Hmm, let me think.9-19-9228. Oh. When I was younger, I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese.229. And on our wedding night, I ate his head.230. Okay.231. Well, this is like that… in no way.232. I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.233. Wow! You mean like “kiss him” kiss him?234. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was pretty intense.235. What brought that on?236. I don’t know.237. Maybe it had to do with the fact I saw him do a love scene.238. A love scene? With who?239. Olivia.240. Olivia? I thought she was marrying Conner?241. Oh, right. Real life more important.242. You think my dream means anything?243. I don’t know.244. I mean, you saw him do a love scene. Maybe you don’t have a thing for Joey. 245. Maybe you have a thing for Drake.246. Huh….247. Well, it was Joey reading Drake’s lines in the dream.248. Of course it was. Trust me, when it comes to psychology… I know what I’m talking about.249. I took two psych classes in college.250. You took the same class twice.251. It was hard!252. I know.253. Hey.254. Hi.255. Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at your restaurant.256. Ah. Ah. Wait.257. Right? I think this might even class up “The Ballad of the 9-19-10Uncircumcised Man.”258. Um, Phoebe… maybe I wasn’t clear before.259. I really love listening to your music here.260. But my restaurant, it’s sort of an upscale place.261. Right, yeah, okay. I’ll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.262. Phoebe, it’s not what you wear.263. It’s sort of your songs.264. I just don’t think you should play at the restaurant anymore.265. Oh. Okay. Fine, I’ll just-- 266. I’ll take the hat back.267. There.268. Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened at work the—269. My songs aren’t good enough for your restaurant?270. Okay, we’re still on that.271. I didn’t say they weren’t good enough.272. Then what’s wrong with them?273. What, they don’t go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?274. Tiny portions?275. Yeah, well, um, “Excuse me. I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but I can’t see it. I can’t see it.”276. Phoebe, it’s not about quantity.277. Well, it’s not about quality.278. Oh, really? You wanna talk about quality?279. Have you ever heard of a “key”? It’s what some people sing in.280. Well, at least all my songs don’t taste like garlic.281. Yeah, there are other ingredients, Monica.282. So that’s what we’re doing.283. When I’m in a coffeehouse bopping along to one of your songs… I’m wearing earplugs. 284. Earplugs or cloves of garlic?285. You know what? I take back what I said before.286. Keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside… my bar sales have gone up like crazy.
November 29, 2015
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《Season9-19-1》The One With Rachel’s Dream 初版・・・・2015年11月28日9-19-11. God, you’re beautiful.2. Why are we fighting this?3. You know you want it to happen as much as I do.4. I want you. I need you.5. Let me make love to you.6. I don’t wanna stand in the way of, uh, true love or anything… but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less. 7. No, I’m, uh, rehearsing my lines.8. They’re giving me a romantic story on Days of our Lives.9. It’s the first time my character’s got one. I’m nervous. I want it to be good.10. Wow, I haven’t seen you this worked-up since you did that dog-food commercial… and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog.11. Yeah, that was a disappointment.12. Ooh, hey, you wanna, uh, come down to the set and tell me if I’m doing okay?13. Are you serious?14. Yeah.15. You just have to promise not to get thrown out again.16. That was an honest mistake.17. Right.18. “Oh, my God. Is this the men’s room? I feel so foolish.19. Have you always known you wanted to be an actor?”20. Yeah, that was an awesome day. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 221. Hey!22. Hey.23. You guys wanna come eat dinner at the restaurant in the next few weeks?24. Sure!25. I’d love to.9-19-226. Well, you can’t.27. We’re booked solid for the next month.28. Well, I can’t give you a massage… because my license has been revoked again.29. Phoebe, what happened?30. Well, it was an accident, you know.31. It’s a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips.32. Have I got a surprise for you. Pack your bags.33. Oh, no. You guys aren’t supposed to get divorced for seven years.34. What? No, I’m taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont.35. Oh, good. Okay, good for you. Trying to recapture the magic.36. So can you get out of work?37. Honey, I can’t.38. Things are crazy at the restaurant.39. You’re really that busy?40. Yeah. I’m sorry, I really am.41. That’s okay. I’ll just, uh, try and reschedule.42. Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there… and I need to change it.43. What do you mean it’s nonrefundable? Well, can I just come some other time?44. Can’t you make an exception?45. Tell them I’m a chef at a big New York restaurant.46. Tell them that in two weeks, I will once again be a masseuse in good standing.47. Look, this is ridiculous. I’m not paying for that room, okay?48. Well, thank you very much.49. Yeah, I’m going to Vermont.50. Don’t worry, use your travel insurance.51. I don’t have travel insurance.52. Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge.53. Why don’t you take Ross?54. Heh. Don’t you think that’ll be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn?9-19-355. No, not if the room has two beds.56. I guess.57. It still seems a little-- “Moonlight boat ride”? 【SC・・・・3】58. Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?59. I don’t know, but one of the extras sure did.60. Listen, Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes.61. Please, honey. Just the fact that you want me here to support you, I’m—62. Oh, my God. Is that Christian Saunders? He is so gorgeous!63. And also, so gay.64. Well, in my head, he’s done some pretty not-gay stuff.65. Well, at the Christmas party, him and Santa did some definitely-gay stuff.66. Joey? Joey, we’re ready for you.67. Oh. Ahem.68. Okay. All right, wish me luck.69. Okay. Not that you need it, but good-- God! Is that Chase Lassiter?70. He’s straight, right?71. Rach, if you weren’t here wondering… if these guys were gay, I don’t know if I could do this.72. I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m sorry. Good luck.73. On a bell, please.74. Quietly.75. And action!76. Drake, what are you doing here?77. Stopping you from marrying the wrong man… and making the biggest mistake of your life.78. Get out.79. You don’t love him.80. What do you know about love?81. I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.82. That kiss never happened.9-19-483. Well, what about this one?84. Now, I told you to get out.85. Fine, I’ll go.86. But let me ask you one question.87. You look real familiar. Have we--?88. Shh! He’s asking her a question.89. Can you live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?90. I don’t have a choice.91. Yes, you do.92. Yes, you do. I’m the one who doesn’t have a choice because I….93. Because I can’t stop loving you.94. Don’t say that.95. Tell me to stop.96. Just… tell me to stop.97. Cut!98. No!99. Or, cut. You know, that’s your call. 【SC・・・・4】100. Everything was delicious.101. Thank you.102. It was. The duck in particular was superb.103. Thank you.104. You haven’t said anything.105. Actually, I do have one small complaint.106. Oh, well, please, I welcome criticism.107. The musician right outside the restaurant is kind of a mood killer.108. What musician?109. And there’s a country called Argentina110. It’s a place I’ve never seen111. But I’m told for 50 pesos You can buy a human spleen 112. Human spleen113. Ole!114. What are you doing here?9-19-5115. You said you had customers lined up in the street, so I’m here to entertain.116. Great.117. Yeah, it really has been great too.118. They must have seen me play before… because they requested a bunch of my songs.119. Yeah, “You Suck”… and, um, “Shut Up and Go Home.”120. Listen, Phoebe.121. Yeah.122. You know how much I love listening to your music… but….123. But what?124. Um, this is kind of a classy place.125. Okay, say no more.126. It wasn’t just that she was fat The woman smelled like garbage127. Everyone!128. It wasn’t just that she was fat The woman smelled like garbage 129. Classy, huh? 【SC・・・・5】130. Hi, Chandler Bing. I have a reservation.131. Welcome to the Chestnut Inn. Where are you joining us from?132. New York.133. The Big Apple.134. He’s wound up. We had to stop at every maple-candy stand on the way here.135. I ate all my gifts for everybody.136. I’m sorry, there’s no record of your reservation in the computer.137. That’s impossible. Check again, please.138. Check again, please.139. I’m sorry, it’s not here.140. It’s not there.141. Let me get this straight. I called to try to cancel my reservation… was told it’s not refundable. We drove six hours all the way up here… and now we don’t have a reservation?142. I don’t know what to say.
November 28, 2015
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《Season9-18-3》The One With the Lottery 初版・・・・2015年11月28日9-18-11 understand you.295. Would you please just let me say good night to my daughter?296. And here we go. The Powerball is seven.297. All right, check your numbers! Make me rich.298. You guys, you’re not gonna believe this.299. I was just saying good night to Emma, and she said her first words.300. What?301. Well, what did she say?302. She said, “Gleba”!303. Make me rich!304. Isn’t that amazing?305. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, that’s great.306. Why aren’t you more excited?307. Rach, heh, “gleba” is not a word.308. Well, of course it is.309. Okay. What does it mean?310. Well, I don’t know all the words.311. You know, I’m just glad I didn’t miss my daughter’s first word.312. Yes you did! Gleba is a word!313. Okay. Use it in a sentence.314. Okay. Uh, Emma just said, “Gleba.”315. It’s not a word.316. Ugh. Okay, fine. I’m gonna look it up.317. Oh, okay, great.318. While you’re at it, she said another word the other day. Why don’t you look up:319. All right. Okay. Okay. Gleba. Gleba. Gleba. Gleba!320. Here it is! “The fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.”321. Heh.322. She’s gonna be a scientist.323. Damn it. Anybody got anything?324. No.325. I’m still looking through mine.9-18-12326. Just double-checking. No.327. No. No.328. No!329. Hello? Hold on.330. It’s your boss.331. Ah, the “I’m sorry I rejected you” phone call.332. I’m not used to getting these from guys.333. Hey, Steve.334. Chandler, hi.335. I’m sure you’ve heard we filled the three positions.336. We felt that with your maturity and experience… you wouldn’t be happy being someone’s assistant.337. I’d love to be somebody’s assistant. Answering phones… getting coffee, I live for that stuff.338. And I’m not too mature. Farts, boobies, butt cracks!339. Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program.340. We’re offering you the position of junior copywriter.341. Me? That guy who just said, “butt cracks”?342. Yes, that’s right.343. We’re excited about the level of sophistication… you’ll be bringing to the job.344. Okay. Well, thanks, you won’t regret it. I’ll see you tomorrow.345. Oh, yeah, I’m gonna be a junior copywriter!346. Congratulations! Oh, sweetie, I’m so proud of you.347. Thanks. Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?348. You bet. No TV or anything.349. Hey, that is so great about the job.350. Thanks, man.351. I’d like to think I had something to do with it.352. Really? Why?353. Well, before with the wishbone.354. I, uh, didn’t wish we would win the lottery. I wished you’d get the job.355. Oh, yeah?9-18-13356. Don’t tell Monica. She’ll rip your heart out.357. Oh, yeah.358. Well, you know what? There was a little part of me… that really thought we were gonna win.359. Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.360. You guys? What was the Powerball number again?361. Seven.362. We won.363. What?364. We won!365. Let me see! Let me see!366. Don’t tear it!367. Phoebe, you don’t have any of the first five numbers!368. I know that, but look, we got the Powerball number. We won $3!369. Wow, you think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout?370. I don’t care. I’ve never won anything before. I can’t believe this!371. So, Pheebs, what are you gonna do with your $3?372. Well, it’s not all mine. We all get 50 cents.373. Aw. You know what? You can have mine.374. Me too.375. Me too.376. Me too. Ha, ha.377. Well, I guess if everybody else is. 【SC・・・・4】 Chap. 4378. Hey, guys. So I just called the Powerball hot line.379. Can you believe it? Nobody won.380. Um, I beg to differ.381. Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier… and he found a ticket on the street right outside and won $10,000.382. Coo. Again, don’t blame the pretty lady.383. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon. Coo.384. Seriously, stop staring at her. 【Season9 第18話 完】
November 28, 2015
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《Season9-18-2》The One With the Lottery 初版・・・・2015年11月28日9-18-6all away.”143. Oh! Oh! I know! We should pool all our money and buy the Knicks!144. I don’t really care about the Knicks.145. You will when I pick you as starting forward.146. You would do that? I never get picked!147. I’m not sure a sports team is the way to go.148. You won’t let me buy the Knicks? I can’t believe you’re taking this away.149. You’re right, it has been your dream for over 15 seconds.150. Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?151. I’ll take this one too. Uh, “Mommy”?152. Oh, I’ve gotten into the habit of calling Rachel “Mommy”… when we’re around Emma.153. Which I now realize we are not.154. I’m hoping that if she hears it enough… it’ll be her first word.155. Oh.156. Although if we’re gonna do that, we should probably call me “Daddy” too.157. Mm. I like that, Daddy.158. I, uh-- I was just talking about Rachel.159. Ooh, is Daddy getting angry?160. Is Daddy gonna spank me?161. Well, that depends.162. Have you been a bad--? No, I can’t.163. Hello? Hello? Hey, Charlie. Did anybody else hear?164. What? Susan got it? How?165. Oh, man, I would’ve slept with him!166. All right, bye.167. Dude, I’m sorry. But hey, there’s one spot left, right?168. Well, Charlie’s gonna get that.169. Hey, don’t say that.170. You’ve got just as good a chance of getting that job.171. He is the boss’ son.9-18-7172. Come on, lottery!173. Yeah!174. It starts in, like, 20 minutes.175. Okay, here we go.176. We need to sort through the tickets quickly to see if we’ve won.177. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?178. Okay, how about this:179. We divide them into six groups of 40.180. The remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes first.181. I have another idea.182. I’m sorry, idea time is over.183. Well, are all the tickets in the bowl?184. Yeah.185. What about the ones on the nightstand?186. There are no tickets there.187. Yes, there are. I just saw them a few minutes ago.188. Heh. Uh, no, you didn’t. You must be mistaken.189. There are 20 tickets on the nightstand.190. Chandler, sense the tone.191. Well, well, well. Look what Mommy found.192. Okay, fine. I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.193. The psychic also said that I would be betrayed.194. I can’t believe this. I thought we were all in this together.195. Hey, you just got in five minutes ago!196. Three minutes ago!197. I don’t know why that’s important.198. I was with you the whole time. When did you even get those?199. When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic.200. I’ll show you how.201. Okay. Well, Monica, suppose one of your special tickets wins?202. How are you gonna feel when you win and lose your friends?203. Please. If I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me.204. Someone gave me muffins last week. I couldn’t get rid of you for9-18-8three days!205. Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?206. She’s right. You shouldn’t have bought tickets just for us.207. Let me finish.208. However, it doesn’t look like I’m gonna get this job… so I can’t afford to have principles. So screw you! The tickets are ours! 209. There’s the man I married.210. All right. Believe me, if you win the lottery… it’s the last you’re gonna hear from us.211. Fine. Don’t be my friends. I’ll buy new friends.212. Yeah, and then I’ll pay for their plastic surgery so they look just like you!213. You know what? I want my share of the tickets.214. I want my tickets too! And I’m buying the Knicks!215. And Steffi Graf! Ha, ha.216. Cool. Then I want mine too! And if I win… I’m gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond!217. No. You guys, we gotta keep all the tickets together.218. No. No, we should divide them up… and I should get extra because we used my car!219. Hey! Hey! If anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me!220. This whole thing was my idea!221. Yeah. Thanks for inventing the lottery!222. Just give them to me, and I’ll split them up!223. Ow!224. Ah!225. Hey, hey!226. Aah!227. God, I can’t take it anymore! I’m putting an end to this!228. Okay, if she jumps, I get her tickets!229. Wait, no, no! Hey!230. If we’re not doing this together, we’re not doing it at all.231. Say goodbye to your tickets.232. No! No! No!9-18-9233. Do not come any closer!234. Can I come a little bit closer? Valuable things are getting squished.235. Now, what’s more important, your friends or money?236. Friends!237. Money!238. Friends.239. Hey, Monica, what about your extra tickets?240. They’re all in there.241. Even these five that I hid in my bra.242. Monica!243. Okay.. Good. You guys were so scared.244. There is no way I was gonna dump this-- 245. Aah!246. God! No!247. I think I broke your bowl.248. Go! Go! Go! 【SC・・・・3】 Chap. 3249. What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets.250. And the wind sure made it fun.251. Phoebe, we lost half of them.252. So what?253. Monica, we have the winning ticket.254. My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?255. Weird your psychic didn’t mention anything about the scary pigeon.256. As a matter of fact, she said that’s how I’m going to die.257. So excuse me for being a little skittish.258. There’s two messages. This could be from work.259. Oh, play them.260. Okay. Here we go.261. Hello. This is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologize.262. I shouldn’t have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady’s hand.263. It was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo.9-18-10264. Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.265. Hey, Chandler, it’s Charlie.266. This is it. Shh, shh!267. Listen, um, it turns out I got the last spot.268. I’m really sorry, man. It was a lot of fun working with you.269. Give me a call if you want.270. Gosh, I’m so sorry, honey.271. Sorry, Chandler.272. It is so unfair. It’s like that time they promoted Saundra over me at work.273. Was she related to Ralph Lauren?274. No, she was just much better at her job than me.275. You guys, the drawing’s about to start.276. We should call my mom’s and say good night to Emma… before she goes down.277. Good idea.278. Honey, you’re being really strong about this.279. I know how badly you wanted that job.280. Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it.281. But let’s go win the lottery. I mean, we still have a 130 chances to win, right?282. Hundred and thirty-one.283. Yeah, good night, sweetheart. I love you.284. And remember, you’re Daddy’s little girl. Heh.285. Phoebe’s totally ruined that for me.286. Hi, Mom. Put her back on.287. Rach, they’re announcing the numbers!288. My God, I can already feel myself changing.289. Here are your official Powerball numbers. We have 53.290. I’ve got that.291. We have one too!292. We are on the road, people!293. Come on!294. Mom, please, I know you love your new lips, but I can barely
November 28, 2015
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《Season9-18-1》The One With the Lottery 初版・・・・2015年11月27日9-18-11. Monica? Hey, can I borrow the Porsche?2. Okay.3. All right!4. But, um, ahem, what is it not?5. A place to entertain my lady friends.6. And what else is it not?7. A place to eat spaghetti.8. Very good.9. Thanks.10. What do you need it for anyway?11. The, uh, lottery is up to 300 million… and they don’t sell tickets here.12. So you’re driving up to Connecticut?13. Yeah, Connecticut. Not West Virginia.14. Maybe I’ll drive you up there. I’d like to buy some tickets myself.15. Yeah, with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use $300 million. 16. Yes, because if I was at my old job, we’d say, “300 million? No, thank you.”17. Will you get me tickets too?18. Yeah, me too.19. Sure.20. Ooh! I have an idea.21. Why don’t we all pitch in 50 bucks, we’ll pool our money together… and then if we win, we’ll split it.22. That’s a great idea!23. No, thanks.24. You don’t want to win the lottery?25. Uh, sure I do.26. I also want to be king of my own country… and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.27. Still on Amelia Earhart?9-18-228. The woman just vanished!29. Seriously, you don’t want in on this?30. No. Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery?31. I mean, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.32. But there’s six of us, so we’d only have to get struck 7 times.33. I like those odds!34. Seriously, you guys, I can’t believe you’re gonna spend $250 on the lottery.35. I mean, that’s such a bunch of boo-hockey.36. I’ll ask.37. “Boo-hockey”?38. Oh, we think Emma’s about to start talking… so we’re trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.39. So get ready to hear a lot of, uh, boo-hockey… gosh darn it and brother pucker.40. How do you know she’s gonna start talking?41. When I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I’m saying.42. Kind of like Joey.43. What’s that now? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 244. God, look at all these tickets. It’s so exciting.45. I haven’t won anything since sixth grade.46. Pie-eating contest?47. You assume because I was heavy that’s the only way I could win something?48. No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.49. That was a good day.50. Yeah.51. They’re towing your car!52. I’m parked in a garage on Morton.53. They’re towing a car.54. And I am seeing spots.9-18-355. Ross, you don’t have Emma! Rachel, you don’t have Emma!56. Where’s Emma? Who has Emma?57. Joey, relax.58. My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there.59. I was?60. Yes, and you talked to her.61. I did?62. She dropped off a casserole.63. Oh, yeah, the casserole lady.64. Did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?65. Yeah. And then I figured after you win, we can all go out to the balcony… and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it.66. Don’t touch the phone! I’ll get it! I’ll get it!67. You think he washed his hands?68. Hello?69. Hey, Charlie, what do you know?70. What’s going on?71. Chandler’s supposed to find out if he’s getting a job at his agency.72. But out of 15 interns, they’re only hiring three.73. Ooh. Tough odds.74. Yeah.75. If only it were a sure thing like your 24-state lottery.76. Yeah, look who’s coming around!77. Damn it. All right, call me when you know more.78. Did you get it?79. One of the slots got filled.80. By you?81. Sense the tone.82. No, that kid Nate got it.83. Oh, I hate that guy.84. I mean, come on, pull up your pants!85. I know.86. Well, there’s two spots left, fight?9-18-487. Yeah. I mean, I want this so much. I want to get one.88. I want my friend Charlie to get one.89. Except I don’t care about Charlie.90. Hey, you guys.91. Hey!92. You are not gonna believe this. I just saw my psychic… and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!93. I thought we could use some extra luck… so I brought a wishbone home from work.94. A psychic and a wishbone? Guys, give someone else a chance.95. All right, who wants to do it?96. Ooh, can I?97. Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone.98. It’s really not fair. Just because we don’t eat the meat… doesn’t mean we don’t like to play with the carcasses. 99. All right. Rach?100. I don’t want that turkey smell all over my hands.101. I’ll do it! It’ll get the casserole stink off of mine.102. I hope I win.103. Well, it doesn’t really matter.104. You’re both wishing for the same thing.105. I can’t tell you what I’m wishing for, or else, you know, it won’t come true. Ha, ha.106. Right. But we know what you’re wishing for.107. I can’t really say.108. I understand.109. But you’re wishing for what we think, aren’t you?110. I’m not really comfortable with these questions!111. Please!112. Just do it!113. Okay. One, two, three.114. I won! Hey!115. You know what? I’m sure your wish is gonna come true.116. But, you guys, just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub 9-18-5 this lamp.117. Ow!118. That thing gets hot!119. Ross, just keep making your jokes.120. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?121. Uh, you’re not gonna win.122. I know the odds are against us… but somebody has to win, and it could be us. And then how you gonna feel? 123. We’re gonna be like. “Everybody, let’s take our helicopters up to the Cape.” 124. And you’re gonna be all, like, “Oh, I can’t, guys.125. I’ll have to meet you up there. I gotta gas up the Hyundai.”126. Okay, I’ve heard myself on tape, and I sound nothing like that.127. I can see the headline now: “Lottery Winners’ Friend… Filled With Regret, Eats Own Arm.” 128. Why would I eat my own arm?129. Well, you wouldn’t, but we own the paper. We can print whatever we want.130. You know what? I’m gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.131. Why?132. Because I know that you think… that the lottery is boo-hockey… but we’re all here, and we’re gonna watch the numbers and havefun.133. And you’re my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.134. You don’t have to do that. I mean, I’ll pay for myself.135. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys, that’s so sweet.136. Come here.137. Get a room.138. So now that you’re in, what are you gonna do if we win?139. I don’t know. I’ll probably just invest it.140. Ooh. Calm down.141. Seriously, that’s your fantasy? To invest it?142. Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say, “invest it”? I meant, “be cool and piss it
November 27, 2015
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《Season9-17-3》The One With the Memorial Service 初版・・・・2015年11月16日9-17-11291. Mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it.292. I’ve missed you so much.293. I’m not gonna ask you to get back together. I know we want different things, but….294. Just to be with you one more night.295. I want that too.296. But is that gonna make it too hard?297. It can’t be any harder than this.298. I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I-- 299. I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved.300. Everything about you.301. If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time… I never would have stopped.302. Kiss him, you fool!303. What?304. Didn’t you hear that speech?305. If you don’t kiss him, then I will.306. I missed you so much.307. I knew you’d be here!308. Aw, crap.309. Who is this?310. It’s my friend Manny.311. I asked him to keep me away from you. 312. Hey, that’s what I’m doing for Phoebe.313. Well, you’re not doing a very good job.314. Excuse me?315. What’s with the kissing?316. Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.317. Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.318. You didn’t hear the speech.319. I’ve heard the speech.320. If he knew it was gona be the last time-- 321. Hey, it was very moving. You’re just heartless!9-17-12322. You’re weak! 323. You’re weird!324. Your pants are undone.325. Oh!326. Where’d they go?327. Damn it.328. Well, we blew it.329. I blame myself.330. And I blame you too. 【SC・・・・14】331. It’s been an hour, and not one of my classmates has shown up?332. I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.333. There you go. Someone came.334. Okay. Okay. I’m gonna go hide.335. This is so exciting. My first mourner!336. Hi. Glad you could come.337. Please come in.338. Hi. You’re Chandler Bing, right?339. I’m Tom Gordon. I was in your class.340. Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat.341. Thanks. Uh, I’m so sorry about Ross, it’s….342. No, at least he died doing what he loved.343. Watching blimps.344. Who is it?345. You know some guy, Tom Gordon?346. I don’t remember him.347. But then again, I touched so many lives.348. So did you know Ross well?349. Actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler’s news.350. Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?351. Yes, he is. Me.352. What? You mean--? Oh.9-17-13353. Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close?354. Okay, Tommy! That’s enough mourning for you.355. Here we go. Bye-bye. All right.356. Hey, listen. Call me.357. Okay.358. I’m dead and no one cares?359. I look like a man?360. Please, one ridiculous problem at a time.361. This isn’t ridiculous. Look around, no one’s here.362. You gave them one day’s notice. Not everyone checks the website every day.363. And Monica, it’s probably the way you stand!364. I guess you’re right. Still, somebody must have seen it.365. I mean, I went to that school for four years and I didn’t have an impact on anyone?366. Well, that’s not true. You had an impact on me.367. I mean, it’s 15 years later and we’re still best friends.368. Doesn’t that count for something?369. Oh, great, more party boys for Chandler.370. I’m sure it’s somebody for you . Now go hide.371. Hi. I’m here for Ross Geller’s memorial service.372. Kori? Kori Weston?373. Yeah.374. You look amazing.375. And you are?376. Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I’m not gay. I’m not gay at all.377. You are married, though.378. Don’t listen to him. He’s in a really bad mood.379. I can’t believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.380. I didn’t know Ross and you were so close.381. Oh, we weren’t. But we had one class together. He was such a great guy.382. And he talked so passionately about science.9-17-14383. I always remembered him.384. I’m sure that would mean a lot to him.385. And if heaven has a door… I’m sure he’s pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.386. I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.387. I guess I really missed my chance.388. No, you didn’t!389. I’m still alive!390. Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you.391. It’s a long story. But the things you just said really made my day.392. The fact that you’re here means more to me… than if this room were filled with people.393. You sick freak! Who does that?394. I can’t believe I had a crush on you.395. Did you hear that?396. Kori Weston had a crush on me! 【SC・・・・15】 Chap. 4397. No, Mom, I am not dead.398. I know it’s not something to kid about.399. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it’s over, okay?400. Actually, no. Even if I had died, you would not be left childless.401. Monica? 【Season9 第17話 完】
November 26, 2015
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《Season9-17-2》The One With the Memorial Service 初版・・・・2015年11月26日9-17-6141. Okay.142. There you go.143. This is your cell phone?144. Yes.145. This is your current cell phone?146. Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time.147. Phoebe? Where’s your purse?148. Hey! No!149. No!150. Give it to me!151. You can’t have it.152. Give it to me!153. No.154. I’ll go in there.155. Oh, yeah.156. Come here!157. No!158. Give it to me!159. You’re crazy! God!160. Aha!161. Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing! 【SC・・・・8】162. Hey, look who’s here. It’s Joey. And he brought home a friend.163. Joey, Emma’s right here.164. You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.165. No, no, no, it’s not a girl. It’s… a brand-new Huggsy!166. Oh.167. Oh, that’s so great. Now Emma has two Huggsies.168. No, No. Oh, no. No, Emma has one Huggsy.169. The new Huggsy. Huh?170. The other Huggsy, I don’t know, I guess I’ll just take him back.171. You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton.9-17-7172. Oh, I loved her so much. I took her everywhere. I would braid her tail-- 173. Make the transfer!174. Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can’t find it?175. Don’t worry about it. I swallowed that years ago. Hey.176. Oh, what? I don’t think she likes the new Huggsy.177. But he’s the same.178. I think she wants the old one back.179. Yeah, but he’s the same.180. Joey, come on.181. But he’s the same.182. You’re not the same. 【SC・・・・9】183. Aha!184. You know, it’s a lot less surprising to do that… after I’ve buzzed you into the building.185. So, Phoebe, why are there men’s shoes by the door?186. Those are my shoes.187. Oh.188. Well, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.189. Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me.190. But I’m actually feeling a lot better.191. You are?192. Yeah, I just kind of want to be alone right now.193. Who’s that?194. I ordered Chinese food.195. What are the chances?196. One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike! 【CC・・・・10】 Chap. 3197. What are you doing here?198. Phoebe called me.199. Phoebe!200. I’m sorry. I broke down.9-17-8201. I wanted to see him.202. Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him?203. There’s a speakerphone on the base unit.204. Base unit. Think, Monica, think!205. Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she-- 206. This doesn’t concern you.207. Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.208. Look, guys, you can’t do this.209. It’s gonna make getting over each other harder.210. Not if nothing happens. Why can’t we just hang out as friends?211. Sure. If you’re just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I’ll join you.212. I’m your friend and Mike’s friend.213. Well….214. Sit down.215. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend.216. So how have you been?217. I’ve been pretty good.218. You look really beautiful.219. Thanks. You look good too.220. No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean.221. So how’s the piano playing going?222. Actually, I’ve been playing a lot of love songs lately.223. I’ve missed you.224. I’ve missed you too.225. You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up.226. And then a pigeon ate it. 【SC・・・・11】227. Hey. Ross.228. Look, I just wanted to apologize.229. Don’t tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me.230. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out.231. So that’s what I’d look like if I worked out.232. And was being serviced by a policeman.9-17-9233. You’re not gonna actually send these out, are you?234. Actually, I don’t need to, because your little “Ross is dead” joke didn’t work.235. Okay? There were no responses.236. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents… so the joke, my friend, is on you.237. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I’m dead.238. Oh, my God.239. Nobody cares that I’m dead?240. Oh, come on, you know that’s not true.241. What are you talking about? You get 60 responses… just for coming out of the closet.242. I didn’t get one response, and I’m dead!243. Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.244. I can’t believe this. Not even my geology lab partner. And I carried that guy.245. All right. Look, let’s think about this, okay?246. You think people are gonna disturb your family at this tragic time?247. That people are gonna post condolences on a website?248. This isn’t about people not caring that you’re dead.249. This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.250. You’re right. There isn’t a decent outlet.251. Right.252. Come on. I’m sure if you had a funeral or memorial service… tons of people would come.253. Exactly!254. Ross, what are you doing?255. You’re having a memorial service for yourself?256. No, that would be stupid. You’re having it for me.257. Ross, don’t press send. Don’t press-- 258. No, too late. Too late. It’s sent.259. Sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman. 【SC・・・・12】9-17-10260. I’m trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Huggsy?261. Uh, original or crappy?262. Original.263. No. Sorry. Haven’t seen him.264. Then what’s that big lump under your covers?265. It’s Monica, okay?266. That’s not Monica!267. All right, fine! It’s original Huggsy!268. I know Emma wants him, but he’s mine and I need him.269. She’s being unreasonable.270. Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much!271. Oh, don’t cover its ears!272. It’s because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey.273. It does?274. Yeah.275. And she’s comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much.276. Really? She loves me?277. Oh, yeah.278. But you know what? If you need Huggsy, don’t worry.279. Emma will totally understand. I won’t, but whatever.280. Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach. I mean, if….281. If Huggsy means that much to Emma, then….282. Well, she can have him.283. Oh, sweet, I knew Uncle Joey would step up.284. Look, Emma. Look who’s back.285. No, forget it! Forget it! I can’t do it!286. Are you--? You’re gonna take Huggsy away from a little child?287. How do you think I got him in the first place? 【SC・・・・13】288. All right, you two. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.289. I don’t want anything going on while I’m gone.290. Here’s a few things you can discuss:
November 26, 2015
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《Season9-17-1》The One With the Memorial Service 初版・・・・2015年11月26日9-17-11. You ready to go?2. Let me just finish this.3. Hey, Ross. Check this out.4. Yeah, I can’t do that. Heh.5. What are you doing?6. Have you seen this?7. It’s our new alumni website for college.8. You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you’re up to.9. Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I’m unemployed and childless.10. It’s actually interesting to find out what people are doing.11. Remember Andrea Rich?12. Tall girl, wouldn’t sleep with you?13. Uh-huh.14. Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident.15. Bet she’d sleep with you now.16. No, I already e-mailed her.17. Let me see what you wrote about yourself.18. Oh.19. “Doctor of paleontology, two kids.”20. Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests?21. I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.22. You know what? I’m gonna finish this later, okay? Let me just grab my coat.23. Okay.24. What, did you think you learned how to do it in the last two minutes?25. Maybe we finish this for him.9-17-226. Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.27. She is now my girlfriend.28. I don’t care what society says, it’s the best sex I’ve ever had.29. And send.30. No, no-- You can’t do that to him.31. All right, let’s go.32. Dude!33. Uh, I think you made it clear you can’t be trusted with the ball inside the house.34. And send. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 235. Hey. How was basketball?36. It was fun. Right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye.37. Oh, no. Who did that?38. Chandler. Yeah.39. Hey.40. Rach?41. Yeah?42. What’s Huggsy doing in the crib with Emma?43. She was just crawling around and she found him… so I just let her sleep with him.44. That’s all right, isn’t it?45. Of course. Yeah.46. It’s a stuffed animal, you know? It’s for kids. Not for adults.47. I know that.48. Joey, you’re sure? I mean, I know how much you love him.49. Rachel, let’s be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy.50. I like him a normal amount.51. All right. Well, Emma loves him.52. Yeah. Well, why wouldn’t she? He’s a wonderful person. 【SC・・・・3】53. Hi.54. Hey, Phoebe. How you doing?55. You feeling better?9-17-356. Breaking up sucks.57. Oh, I really miss Mike.58. Oh, I’m so sorry.59. I’ve tried everything to feel better. I even tried writing a song about it… but I can’t think of anything that rhymes with:60. Hey, Monica, I’m gonna need your help getting through this.61. You’re saying you’re not gonna need my help?62. No. When I get to the point where I’m ready… to hear cruel, mocking jokes about Mike, I’m gonna come to you.63. Oh, good, because I’ve already thought of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth.64. Okay. I mean, I know I did the right thing.65. Mike never wants to get married… and I shouldn’t be in a relationship that has no future.66. But pretty soon, I’m gonna miss him so much… I’m gonna want to see him again and you have to stop me.67. Okay, you got it.68. Unless…. Am I being too crazy about this?69. All right, so, you know, there’s no future.70. But that doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun.71. You know what? Forget what I said.72. Really?73. All right, if that’s what you want.74. That was a test, and you just failed.75. Damn it! Rookie mistake.76. I have sex with dinosaurs?77. I believe I read that somewhere.78. Not only is it not funny, it’s physically impossible. Okay?79. Depending on the species, I’d have to have a 6-foot-long-- It’s not funny! 80. I respectfully disagree.81. I can’t believe you put that on my alumni page.82. Who cares? Nobody reads those.83. You better hope not… because I just read what you put on your page.9-17-484. I don’t have a page.85. Oh, I respectfully disagree! 【SC・・・・4】86. Look at you. All sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel. 87. With Emma’s chubby little hands wrapped around you.88. It’s okay, Emma. You stay asleep.89. Step away from the crib! I have a weapon!90. It’s okay! It’s okay, Rach! It’s me! Put down the scrunchie.91. What are you doing?92. Well, I heard Emma stirring… so I came in to make sure she could reach Huggsy.93. Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that I’m up, I’m gonna go tothe bathroom.94. Okay, there you go, sweetie.95. This isn’t over. 【SC・・・・5】96. Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class… that you are “as gay as the day is long”?97. Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.98. Well, that’s clearly a joke. This could easily be true.99. Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.100. Hello?101. No, he’s not here. Yeah, this is his wife.102. Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too.103. Well, I guess I should’ve known. Yeah.104. He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge. 105. Hang up. Hang up.106. And that was a great movie.107. I’m so gonna get back at Ross.108. Oh, yeah, this’ll show him. Here we go.109. What are you doing?110. Oh, you’ll see, my friend! 【TP・・・・6】9-17-5111. I’m dead?112. And so young.113. Posting that I died? That really isn’t funny.114. Well, how you died was funny.115. Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?116. It kills over one Americans every year.117. Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I’m dead.118. My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls.119. You’re messing with people’s feelings here.120. You wanna talk about people’s feelings?121. You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was… when I told him I wouldn’t be able to go with him to Key West!122. You’ve really crossed a line here. But that’s okay.123. Because I’m on my way to buy some Photoshop software… and a stack of gay porn.124. That’s right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic! 【SC・・・・7】125. God, I wish Mike were here.126. Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing?127. What are you, animals? It’s 4:00 in the afternoon.128. I gotta call him. Just to talk to him. There’s no harm in that.129. Phoebe, that’s how it starts.130. “I don’t need to eat the cake, I’ll just smell the icing.131. Why not just a little sliver?” Or, “Okay, just a slice or two.”132. You know, the next thing you know, you’re 210 pounds… and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. 133. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.134. But look, if you talk to him, then you’re gonna want to see him.135. And if you see him, you’re gonna wanna get back together.136. And I know that’s not what you want.137. All right, so give me your phone.138. Here.139. Thank you.140. And now your cell.
November 26, 2015
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《Season9-16-3》The One With the Boob Job 初版・・・・2015年11月25日9-16-11282. Ugh. Fascist.283. Well, my breasts are gonna get bigger whether you like it or not.284. And it’s not just my breasts. My ass is gonna get bigger too.285. Your ass?286. And don’t be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too.287. They do that?288. It’s kind of a package deal.289. God, why? Why would you want to do that to yourself?290. I thought it was something that we both wanted.291. If it means that much to you, I may be able to get onboard with the big boobs… but the giant ass and the big clown feet?292. Oh, my God, Chandler.293. If you can’t handle this, what are you gonna be like in the hospital… with the blood and screaming and the little person that’s shooting out of her?294. What? 【SC・・・・12】295. Joey, why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?296. Because she is.297. Chandler knows I borrowed the money.298. Mm-hm. For your boob job.299. Joe….300. It’s over.301. Okay, so I’m out $4000 and nobody’s boobs are getting any bigger? 【SC・・・・13】302. Hey. Hey, what do you guys think about this: Ross, the Divorce Force.303. Better.304. Yeah?305. Very cool.306. Hey, Pheebs? You know, I’m really glad you came to talk to me the other day… and I hope I was a little helpful.307. Oh, yeah, you were helpful.308. Yeah. No, thank you.9-16-12309. Good. Good.310. Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized… I don’t think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.311. What do you mean?312. I know the other day in the coffeehouse… you were all caught up in the whole soccer-mom thing… but is that really you? I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?313. They are awfully boxy.314. I mean, I don’t know, you’d be so bored with marriage. I mean, it’s so normal.315. Uh-huh. Yeah.316. Hey, can I help?317. Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway… dodged a rabid pit bull. But these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.318. You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.319. Hey, where do you guys want this?320. Yeah, seriously, because this is really heavy.321. I mean, not for me, because I’m only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.322. Just one last time on the marriage thing. There’s no wiggle room? None at all?323. No, but you don’t want to get married either, right?324. Right.325. Except that I do want to get married.326. Couldn’t have had this conversation down at the truck, huh?327. What? You want to get married?328. Someday.329. And hernia.330. I haven’t had a normal life. And I never felt like I was missing out on anything. 331. But it feels like now it’s my turn to have some of the regular stuff.332. If you wanted to get married, why didn’t you say something before?333. Because I didn’t know how much I wanted it.9-16-13334. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.335. I wanna live with you too. I mean, let’s do that.336. But I don’t think I can.337. It was okay to move in when I didn’t know what was gonna happen.338. But I can’t move in knowing nothing is ever gonna happen.339. Can we at least try living together? You might change your mind about marriage.340. Are you gonna change yours?341. No.342. Me neither.343. Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.344. But I don’t want this to end.345. No, I don’t want it to end either.346. I can’t believe this is gonna end.347. I guess I’ll have my stuff picked up.348. Yeah. Okay.349. Okay, so, uh….350. Goodbye.351. Take it easy, Mike.352. Bye, Mike. See you later, Mike.353. I’m so sorry, Pheebs.354. We’re all sorry.355. Look on the bright side.356. I mean, at least you won’t have to live with this ugly chair.357. That was here already, huh?358. I love you. 【SC・・・・14】 Chap. 4359. I did it! I did it! Ha, ha!360. All right.361. I’d better take all I can carry.362. Who knows when I’ll be able to get in here again, huh? 【Season9 第16話 完】
November 25, 2015
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《Season9-16-2》The One With the Boob Job 初版・・・・2015年11月25日9-16-6141. Yes, $2000 exactly. How did you know that?142. Uh, well, I know how much you used to make… and I know how much your rent is.143. Oh, okay.144. I am on fire.145. Listen, this is really nice.146. Did you write a check to Monica for $2000?147. Did Monica borrow money from you?148. Uh, kind of.149. I can’t believe her.150. Did she tell you we were having money problems?151. No, no, no. It wasn’t because of your money problems.152. It was for something for her.153. What?154. Something personal.155. What would she get for $2000 that she wouldn’t tell me about?156. Excuse me.157. Boob job.158. I don’t want her to get a boob job. That’s crazy.159. Well, it’s not that crazy. okay?160. Making them smaller, that would be crazy. 【SC・・・・7】161. Oh, hey, I wanted to ask you about Monica’s little “groomie” joke.162. Well, I think the reason people laughed is that it’s a play on the word “roomie.”163. No….164. I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was.165. No, the thing I want to say is….166. Maybe we should’ve talked about this before.167. Us living together, you’re not expecting a proposal, right?168. Oh, no, no. Not at all.169. Okay.170. We’re just moving in right now. We’ll see where it goes.171. Yeah, well, that’s the thing. For me, it’s as far as it can ever go.9-16-7172. What do you mean?173. Look, Phoebe, I….174. I love you very much. But I never want to get married again.175. Oh.176. Wow.177. It’s just, my first marriage was… you know, such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.178. Mm-hm. Was it really that bad?179. At one point, near the end… she deliberately defecated on my-- 180. Okay, well, that’s bad. Yeah.181. But don’t you tink it might be different with someone else? Perhaps… a blond who always uses the toilet?182. Except for once in the ocean.183. Look, it’s not about who I would marry.184. I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. I was wrong. 185. But, it just-- 186. Look, Phoebe, it’s not about you.187. I just never want to get married again.188. Ah.189. I’m sorry.190. Are you okay with that? If not, maybe us moving in together isn’t the best idea.191. No. Oh, I definitely don’t want to get married.192. No, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to, too.193. Because, you know, if we move in and you start changing your mind …these is gonna be hell to pay, mister.194. Trust me. I will never-- 195. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. 【SC・・・・8】 Chap. 3196. Hi. So you gave in and decided to call someone?197. Yeah. I don’t know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.198. You’re all set.9-16-8199. Oh, thank you so much.200. Wait. You forgot your, um….201. Your game.202. Thank you.203. Hey, Rach. There she is, my perfectly proportioned wife.204. Don’t look at me. I never get his jokes.205. Thank you?206. No, no. Don’t thank me.207. Thank you. Do you know there is not one thing that I would change about you?208. Not one single thing. And definitely not… two single things.209. Okay, you’re being weird. Do you want sex… or did you do something bad?210. No. No. No. I just love the way you look. I am warm… for your form.211. Okay, um, you know the old classics like, you know, “You look nice”?212. They’re still okay.213. But “you look nice” could mean that I’m saying, “Your face looks nice.”214. I want to compliment your body.215. I mean, I wouldn’t change it at all.216. And more specifically, I wouldn’t want anything to get any bigger.217. Okay.218. I mean… you wouldn’t want any part of me to get any bigger, would you?219. Don’t answer that.220. Just when you thought that dude couldn’t get any weirder.221. I know. Why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger?222. I don’t know. I mean, what brought that on?223. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what? We’re trying to get pregnant… so he’s probably starting to freak out that my body’s gonna change.224. You think that’s what it is?9-16-9225. You heard him.226. “No bigger. You’re perfect. Just don’t get any bigger.”227. My God, he sounded just like my high-school wrestling coach.228. I’m gonna have to talk to Chandler.229. Yeah. If you don’t, I will.230. Of course your body’s gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger… your ass is gonna get bigger… you’re gonna lose bladder control.231. God, it’s just such a magical time. 【SC・・・・9】232. Hi.233. Hey.234. Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.235. Now you’re seeking me out to make jokes?236. I mean, I can see if we’re all hanging out, but to come to my home…237. No, I really want to know how you feel about it.238. Why?239. Mike doesn’t ever want to get married.240. Never?241. Never.242. Wow. Are you still gonna move in with him?243. I want to, but I wanted you to tell me that marriage really isn’t that big a deal.244. You know, that I won’t be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks.245. Yeah, marriage stinks.246. I mean, if you want to see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving… get them married.247. That’s not how you really feel, is it?248. No, I’m sorry.249. Look, I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I can’t help it.250. I love marriage.251. Seriously, you? Divorce-o?252. If you have to call me a name, I’d prefer “Ross, the Divorcer.” It’s 9-16-10 just cooler.253. Look, look, I know my marriages didn’t exactly work out… but, you know, I loved being that committed to another person.254. And Carol and I had some good times before she became a lesbian.255. And once afterward.256. Anyway, I’m sorry.257. Ugh. It’s okay. That’s how you feel.258. But, come on, I mean, living together will be great.259. I mean, you guys have so much fun. And you love Mike.260. I do love Mike.261. Yeah, see?262. And you were so excited about moving in together before… and you know what? You should be. It’s a big deal.263. Yeah, I guess you’re right.264. Yeah, thanks. This helped. Thanks.265. The Divorcer to the rescue.266. It’s not cooler.267. Yeah, I just heard it. 【SC・・・・10】268. Oh.269. Rach?270. Rachel?271. So I can’t do anything I like? 【SC・・・・11】272. Hey, Rach.273. Ah, perfection. Wouldn’t change a thing. Not a thing.274. Honey?275. Yeah?276. About that.277. Um, I’m going to change.278. Yes, but, honey, you don’t have to.279. I’m gonna get bigger.280. Honey, I….281. I love your breasts the way they are.
November 25, 2015
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《Season9-16-1》The One With the Boob Job 初版・・・・2015年11月25日9-16-11. Have you seen our bank statement? Can this be right?2. I know. God, I haven’t seen my savings take a hit like this… since I was a kid and they came up with Double Stuf Oreos.3. What happened to all of our money?4. Well, I’m not sure exactly what they did… but I’m inclined to blame Enron.5. Well, I guess with you doing the internship… we’re just spending more than we’re bringing in.6. Yeah, maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.7. But you’re finally doing something that you love.8. I mean, I can’t ask you to give that up.9. Although it would be nice if the thing that you loved was, you know, finding gold.10. You know what? I think we’re making too big a deal out of this.11. Okay? So we pay our bills late this month.12. Maybe next month, we cut back on a few things.13. And maybe we start eating out of Joey’s refrigerator for a change.14. You’re a chef. What can you make out of baking soda and beer?15. All right. Worst-case scenario is, we borrow some money from my parents.16. No, we’re not borrowing money.17. Why not?18. Because we don’t do that. We are Bings.19. If there’s one thing my father taught me, it was… well, to always knock before going into the pool house.20. But the other thing was, never borrow money.21. Wow, I had no idea you had this much pride.22. That’s right, I do. I am your man.23. And I’m gonna get us through this situation… even if it means you working twice as hard. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 224. I’m gonna go.9-16-225. Why?26. I haven’t been home in a couple days and I need to get more clothes.27. You don’t have to go. I have something that’ll fit you.28. I put that tube top on as a joke.29. I want you to stay.30. I want to stay too.31. But I’ve got as much use out of these boxers as I can.32. Why don’t you turn them inside-- 33. Done it.34. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.35. All right. I’ll miss you.36. Me too.37. You know what? I just realized something. I don’t want to go home.38. Great! Okay, I’ll go get the tube top.39. No, no, what I mean is… I hate going back to my apartment now.40. Mm-hm.41. Partly because I live above a known crack den… but, you know, mostly because when I’m there, I really miss you. 42. So… do you want to move in together?43. Wow, Mike Hannigan… you sure know how to make a girl say “Hell, yeah.”44. So we’re doing it?45. Yeah, let’s do it. Let’s live together.46. Wow. We’re really gonna move in together?47. Yeah.48. I’ve always wanted to live with a guy.49. Pick up your socks. Put down the toilet seat.50. No, we are not having sex anymore.51. It’s gonna be fun. 【SC・・・・3】52. Hey, Joey.53. Hey.54. Listen, I need to know that what I’m about to ask you… will never 9-16-3get back to Chandler.55. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it myself.56. But Chandler is my best friend. It would be wrong.57. Good, but wrong.58. Okay, first of all, it would be great.59. But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about. I need to borrow money.60. Oh, I don’t know, Monica. You know… lending friends money is always a mistake.61. But Chandler lent you money.62. And he would tell you it was a mistake.63. Come on. I just—I need it for some rent and some other bills.64. Oh, well…. Well, how much?65. Two thousand dollars?66. Two thousand dollars?67. What do you think I am, a soap-opera star?68. Yeah.69. That’s right, I am.70. Hi, you guys.71. Hey.72. What’s in the bag?73. You know how Emma started crawling?74. I realized that this place is very unsafe for a baby… so I went to the store and I got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.75. Oh, God, baby-proofing.76. Why is it such a big deal now? You know, when I was a kid, it was like: 77. “Whoops, Joey fell down the stairs.”78. Or, “Whoops, Joey electrocuted himself again.”79. Anyway, um, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?80. No, I was just gonna do it myself.81. Ha, ha.82. You’re gonna do it?83. Yeah. Why?9-16-484. You don’t think a woman can do this?85. Women can. You can’t.86. Monica, will you please tell Joey that he is a pig.87. You’re a pig. And you can’t do this.88. What?89. What? Come on, I found the hardware store all by myself.90. The hardware store’s right down the street.91. There is a hardware store right down the street? 【SC・・・・4】92. Hey, you guys? Okay, we’ve got great news.93. Phoebe and I are moving in together.94. Congratulations.95. I know, it’s so exciting. You know, I’ve never lived with a guy before.96. Well, it’s just like living with a girl, only they don’t steal your makeup.97. Unless they’re playing “This Is What My Sister Would Look Like.”98. Yeah, she’s not so cute.99. I’m gonna go to the bathroom.100. Well, you put down the toilet seat.101. Yes, dear.102. Is that a bit you guys do?103. Uh-huh. We’re playing you two.104. We don’t do that. Tell her we don’t do that.105. Yes, dear.106. I can’t believe you’re moving in together. That’s gre-- I’m happy for you guys.107. I hear wedding bells.108. Monica, slow down, okay?109. I’m just excited to be living with him.110. You know, I mean, I don’t know… can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure. Yeah.111. You know, I could picture myself walking down the aisle… in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way.9-16-5112. But do I want that house in Connecticut, you know, near the good school… where Mike and I could send little Sophie and Mike Jr.?113. Oh, my God, I do.114. Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.115. I know. I guess I am.116. Oh, my God, load up the Volvo, I want to be a soccer mom.117. You ready to go?118. Yeah, you bet, roomie.119. Don’t you mean “groomie”?120. What are you talking about?121. Please.122. These guys. We haven’t even moved in yet… and they have us picking out china patterns.123. China patterns! 【SC・・・・5】124. This is easy. “Can’t do this….”125. Wow, seriously. Can’t do this. 【SC・・・・6】126. Hey, Joe.127. Hey.128. Listen, um, I need to ask you a favor, and we can’t tell Monica anything about it.129. I thought you guys didn’t have secrets.130. That will remain the official party line.131. Look, Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.132. Yeah, I know.133. What? What do you mean, you “know”?134. Uh….135. I just figured it out, you know?136. I mean, you’re not working and, uh, the economy is bad.137. Oh, right.138. That is the fastest I have ever thought.139. Anyway, uh… I need to borrow some money.140. Oh, sure. Yeah, how much? Two thousand dollars?
November 25, 2015
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《Season9-15-3》The One With the Mugging 初版・・・・2015年11月24日9-15-11295. These aren’t half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren.296. Okay, first of all, that’s stupid. Second, I’m not allowed to talk to Ralph.297. All right. I feel younger already.298. Yeah, I think I broke my hip. 【SC・・・・10】299. Hey, you!300. Hey.301. Hey. How was class?302. No one ever asks me that. What’s wrong?303. Nothing. I really wanna know.304. Oh, uh.305. Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene-- 306. All right, nothing is worth this.307. Um, I have a confession to make. Um….308. Okay, you know that, um, girl that mugged you when you were a kid?309. What are you talking about? It wasn’t a girl. It was this huge dude.310. You don’t have to lie anymore. I know that it was a 14-year old girl.311. No, it wasn’t.312. Yes, it was.313. No, it wasn’t. You don’t think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old--?314. “Give me your money, punk!”315. Oh, my God, it was you!316. I can’t believe it. You mugged me?317. Yeah. And I’m so, so sorry, Ross. I’m sorry.318. But, you know, if you think about it, it’s kind of neat.319. I mean, well, it’s just that I’ve always felt kind of like an outsider.320. You know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back …and, you know, now you and I have a great one.9-15-12321. It’s not the best!322. I know. Please forgive me. I don’t know what to say.323. There’s nothing you can say! That was the most humiliating thing ever.324. Really? Even more humiliating than-- 325. Let’s not do this! 【SC・・・・11】326. And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub… and start making out with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh?327. That’s interesting.328. Just one thought: You didn’t mention the shoes.329. Who’s next? Chandler. 330. Okay.331. You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes.332. He’s about my age.333. Pfft! Your age?334. Uh-huh.335. So he’s rolling down the street and he starts to lose control.336. Maybe he falls. Maybe he hurts himself.337. Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes.338. He jumps over the old guy and laughs. And the line reads:339. “Not suitable for adults.”340. Well, Chandler, that’s great.341. Oh, thank you, sir.342. Or, man who’s two years younger than me.343. You see, that has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic.344. How did you come up with that?345. I don’t know! I don’t know!346. I was just trying to get into a young mindset, and stuff started to flow.347. That is great. Good work.348. Thank you.349. We’ll see all of you tomorrow.9-15-13350. The cold weather hurts my hip. 【SC・・・・12】351. Hey, Ross. I know you’re still mad at me, but canI just talk to you for a sec?352. Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry. Sure, go ahead.353. I just really wanted to apologize again.354. And also show you something I think you’ll find very exciting.355. Oh, my God! “Crap from the street!”356. Look, Ross. In this box…are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell…or smoke.357. Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found…Science Boy.358. Oh, my God!359. I never thought I’d see this again.360. Yeah.361. What--?362. It’s all here!363. Yeah.364. Ha, ha.365. What made you save it all these years?366. I guess I just thought it was really good.367. And maybe it would be worth something one day.368. You really thought Science Boy was worth saving? 369. Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here.370. Still, this is amazing!371. Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.372. You’re welcome. And thank you for Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.373. You’re welcome. 【SC・・・・13】374. I need an answer!375. I can’t tell you something I don’t know.376. You know!377. I don’t know!9-15-14378. I need an answer now!379. You want an answer? The answer is….380. Aw….381. She never loved me. She only loved you.382. You knew this all along and you never told me?383. I can never forgive you, or myself. I have nothing to live for. Bang! And scene!384. Absolutely amazing.385. The part is yours.386. Thanks! Now I really got to get going.387. Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations. You did it.388. You did it. You can relax now. Yeah. 【SC・・・・14】 Chap. 4389. Wow! That’s a big cable bill.390. Ha. You don’t have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn.391. On a Saturday afternoon?392. I was in the house!393. Hey, uh, Phoebe didn’t by any chance mention that-- 394. She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah.395. I see. You didn’t happen to tell-- 396. Everybody we know? Yeah.397. Great. Thanks. 【Season9 第15話 完】
November 24, 2015
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《Season9-15-2》The One With the Mugging 初版・・・・2015年11月24日9-15-6149. All right, lady, now give me your purse.150. No.151. What do you mean, “no”? I knew you’d be my death, Phoebe Buffay!152. Lowell, is that you?153. Phoebe?154. Oh, my God!155. Unbelievable! Oh, my God! Oh!156. I’m sorry. Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets! Ha, ha.157. Lowell, Ross.158. Ross, nice to meet you.159. Yeah, a real pleasure.160. Oh, it’s been so long! Oh, so long.161. Ha-ha-ha.162. I can’t believe you’re still doing this.163. Ah, I know. But I quit smoking.164. Good for you.165. You look like you’re doing well.166. I guess your mugging days are behind you.167. Oh.168. Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people?169. Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up. 【SC・・・・6】170. Hey.171. Hey.172. How’d the audition go?173. They wanna see me again, but, uh… boy, Leonard Hayes did like me.174. What happened?175. Oh, he said I wasn’t urgent enough.176. Everything I did was horizontal, and I should be more vertical.177. Oh, and he said that I should think less.178. Well, so far so good.9-15-7179. Honey, I’m old!180. What’s wrong?181. I am so much older than these other interns. I can’t compete with them.182. So you’re a little older.183. Look at the positive. You have all this life experience.184. Yes, but I don’t think life experience is gonna help me with these.185. Wow! It’s like they’re on fire!186. Ooh.187. What are they?188. Prototype sneakers.189. I need ideas on how to sell them. Which I can’t do… because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these.190. I’ll give you $500 for them.191. What am I supposed to do?192. Come on, sneakers are easy.193. You wear them all the time. 194. They’re not called sneakers anymore.195. They’re called “kicks” or “skids.” I think I heard somebody say “slorps.”196. They’ve got wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around… because apparently walking is too much exercise.197. “Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!”198. Would you help me try to sell these?199. Okay. Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?200. That’s not what they’re looking for.201. Hey, that would work on me.202. Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butterworth’s? 【SC・・・・7】203. Hey.204. Hey.205. Hey.206. You’ll never guess what just happened.207. Phoebe and I got mugged!9-15-8208. Are you okay?209. Yeah, because Phoebe knew the mugger.210. How do you know a mugger?211. I’m sorry, I have friends outside the six of us.212. Know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people.213. Seriously?214. Well, I’m not proud of it, but, you know… when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff….215. That is awful.216. I wasn’t rich like you guys, okay?217. I didn’t eat gold and have a flying pony.218. I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.219. Your mother killed herself.220. She was a drug dealer.221. It was a good thing Phoebe knew him. I was about to do some serious damage.222. Okay.223. This must have brought back some bad memories for you, Ross.224. Why?225. Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.226. You were?227. Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.228. It was outside St. Mark’s Comics.229. I was minding my business, seeing what kind of trouble Spider-Man got into.230. Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem.231. Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery… to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone… when out of nowhere, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says:232. “Give me your money, punk!”233. Oh, my God.234. I know. And the worst part was they took my backpack… which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book, Science Boy.9-15-9235. Oh, yeah! What was his superpower again?236. A superhuman thirst for knowledge.237. I better get to class.238. Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way?239. No. Actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane Street.240. That’s where Stabby Joe works.241. Okay, I think we have a problem here.242. What?243. Well, um, back in my mugging days, I, um, worked St. Mark’s Comics.244. Yeah?245. Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice… and, um, preteen comic-book nerds were my meat.246. So?247. There was one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said:248. “Geology rocks!”249. Oh, my God!250. I know! I mugged Ross! 【SC・・・・8】 Chap. 3251. You’re late.252. I know. I’m sorry.253. But can I just run to the bathroom?254. No. Leonard doesn’t wait.255. But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!256. Joey, here we go! Let’s go. Very quickly.257. I really need-- 258. We must go now, quickly.259. Yeah. Yes, sir. Ahh.260. Ready?261. What the hell are you still doing here?262. I think you know!263. Oh, you sick bastard!264. I am what you made me! Know what?265. What?9-15-10266. I could go right now.267. Then go. Go!268. Oh, I can’t. I want to, but I can’t!269. Cut. That was good!270. Very good. You did everything I asked.271. I did?272. Yes. Plus which, you’ve got this, I don’t know, this squirmy quality… you bring to the character I couldn’t have imagined.273. Wow, hey, here’s what we’re gonna do:274. Come back tomorrow for the final callbacks.275. Do all of this, what you got going now. But you know what?276. More. More. Can you do that?277. Sure. I don’t have time to say thank you because I really gotta go!278. Look at that! Still in character. I like him.279. I plant seeds. I can’t explain it. I don’t know. 【SC・・・・9】280. Hey. What are you doing?281. Hey. Putting on the sneakers… to get in the young mindset, see if it sparks anything.282. Oh, anything yet?283. Yes, how’s this?284. “They’re so uncomfortable, it’s like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet.”285. Hey.286. Hey.287. You’re probably wondering what I’m doing. Ha, ha.288. No, that seems about right.289. Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor.290. I got a callback, so I’m drinking everything. Oh, by the way…291. Mm-hm.292. …that eggnog in our fridge was great!293. Joey, that was formula.294. We gotta get more of that.
November 24, 2015
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《Season9-15-1》The One With the Mugging 初版・・・・2015年11月24日9-15-11. Guys! Guys! I’ve got great news. Guess what.2. Uh, Monica’s pregnant!3. Really?4. Let’s get past the moment.5. What’s your news?6. Thank you.7. I got a job in advertising.8. Oh, honey, that’s incredible!9. Wow.10. Gosh, what’s the pay like?11. Oh, come on, people.12. If I don’t know who makes the most… how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.13. It pays nothing. It’s an internship.14. We have interns at Days of our Lives.15. Right. So it’ll be the same, except less sex with you.16. So, uh, what do you think they’ll have you do there?17. It’s a training program, but they hire the people they like.18. That’s great!19. There’s gonna be some grunt work… which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating.20. Humiliating and noble.21. Thank you.22. You know, if I didn’t already have a job… I would’ve been good in advertising.23. Ross, you did not come up with “got milk?”24. Yes, I did! I did!25. I should’ve written it down. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 226. Hey.27. Hey.28. Where’s Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day.9-15-229. And I smelled bacon. Ha, ha.30. He just left.31. Who did?32. Joey, you’re never gonna believe it! She called!33. She did?34. You got it!35. I did?36. What is she talking about?37. I don’t know, but it sounds great!38. No, your agent called. You got that audition!39. With Leonard Hayes?40. Yes!41. Oh, my God, that is great! It’s for a play on Broadway.42. And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time.43. Is it a good play?44. It must be.45. I read it and didn’t understand a single word!46. Leonard Hayes is starring in it.47. Yeah, and directing.48. Oh, he was so good in that movie of Macbeth.49. You saw that?50. No, but I saw the previews.51. They played it right before Jackass.52. Ah.53. Oh, yeah, yeah. He has.54. He’s done some amazing work.55. Oh, yeah.56. Oh, I loved him in those phone commercials.57. When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha.58. Maybe the monkey will be at the audition.59. Don’t make me more nervous than I already am! 【SC・・・・3】9-15-360. Good morning.61. Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?62. Oh, no, no. I’m an intern, just like you guys.63. Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.64. Seriously, you’re an intern?65. I’m heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom.66. Dude.67. I know I’m a little older than you guys, but it’s not like I’m Bob Hope.68. The comedian. USO.69. Uh, it’s U.S.A., sir. 【SC・・・・4】70. This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers.71. And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes.72. Wow.73. It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work.74. Well, I’ve been blessed with a lot of great roles.75. Tell me about it, huh? “Unlimited nights and weekends!”76. Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout.77. I didn’t do it for money. I believe in those phones!78. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.79. No, I wasn’t making fun of you. I think you were great in those commercials.80. Really?81. Yeah.82. Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.83. It’s true.84. Are you kidding?85. When they shoot you out of that cannon-- 86. “Hang up that phone!”87. One take.88. Wow.89. Did that in one. I know.90. So shall we read?9-15-491. Oh, yeah, sure.92. Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it?93. Mm-hm.94. What the hell are you still doing here?95. Oh. Uh.96. I think you know.97. Bastard!98. I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.99. Go! Go!100. I can’t.101. Oh, I want to, Long Pause… but I can’t.102. I’m so sorry. You’re not supposed to say “long pause.”103. Oh! Oh!, I thought that was your character’s name. You know?104. I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the….105. Sorry.106. Long Pause.107. No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you.108. Sure you don’t want me to do it again?109. I could do it with an accent.110. No.111. You know, Southern.112. “I could go right now, mon!”113. Huh?114. My God in heaven.115. Joey, hang on for a second. Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment?116. Yes?117. You’ve gotta be kidding. See, he can’t act.118. I don’t care if you think he’s hot.119. If you wanna sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play.120. No, listen, if you insist on this… I will call my agent so fast… on a9-15-5 cell phone connection so clear, he’s gonna think I7m next door! 121. Uh, hi. Uh, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit.122. If you tell me what I did wrong, I would love to work on it and try it again for you.123. And also, how you doing?124. Would you please just give me another chance? I really wanna get better. Please?125. Really?126. Well, if you wanna come back today… here are my notes. Really? 127. Yeah.128. Um, you’re in your head. You’re thinking way too much.129. I really doubt that.130. No, no, no. It’s that you’re not connected with anything in your body.131. No urgency. The scene is a struggle.132. Uh-huh.133. It’s a race.134. Uh-huh.135. Also, what you did was horizontal.136. Don’t be afraid to explore the vertical.137. Uh-huh.138. And don’t learn the words. Let the words learn you.139. Couldn’t I just sleep with the producer? 【SC・・・・5】140. Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight?141. Oh, I can’t. I’ve got a date with that waitress, Katie.142. Yeah, I know we’ve only gone out, like, twice, but I don’t know… I have a good feeling about her.143. Oh, I hear divorce bells.144. Give me your wallets, and there won’t be a problem.145. What?146. I have a gun.147. Okay, just relax, Phoebe. Just stay calm.148. Oh, my God, I can’t find my wallet!
November 24, 2015
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《Season9-14-3》The One With the Blind Dates 初版・・・・2015年11月23日9-14-11288. Hello?289. Hey, Rach, how’s it going?290. Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever.291. Oh, come on.292. Look, you know what, I’m sorry, but did you really think that this was going well?293. What’s up?294. Hey, did you stop by here?295. No.296. Oh, my God! Then….297. Oh, thank God! Emma, there you are!298. What? What do you mean, “there you are”? Where was she?299. Uh, we were playing peekaboo. She loves it when I’m dramatic. Heh.300. Why the hell did you take her?301. Because you two were having sex!302. No, we weren’t.303. Don’t you lie to me.304. I can tell by Chandler’s hair. You are so lazy. Can’t you get on top for once?305. All right. All right, we were.306. We were trying to make a baby. Monica’s ovulating.307. It is unacceptable that you’d have sex with Emma in the next room.308. I’m gonna have to tell Rachel about this.309. No, please don’t. She will kill us.310. Hey, I gotta. Unless….311. Unless what?312. Unless you name your first-born child Joey.313. What? Why?314. Hey, I may never have kids… and somebody’s gotta carry on my family name.315. Your family name is Tribbiani.316. Oh, ha, ha. You almost had me. 【SC・・・・14】9-14-12317. Well, um….318. Look… I think I know the answer to this question, but… would you like to make love to me? 319. Really, really not.320. Ah, it’s just as well.321. It doesn’t work anyway.322. All right, well, that’s good to know. Good night, Steve.323. Hey, what’s wrong?324. I just had a rough night.325. Oh. Crab cake?326. Ugh.327. Well, what happened?328. Uh….329. Well, I-- It’s kind of weird to talk to you about this, but-- 330. Monica told me you had a blind date.331. Yeah.332. I did too.333. Oh.334. Uh, but is it technically a date if the other person doesn’t show up?335. Oh.336. Oh, no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?337. Why does everyone keep saying that?338. If it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn’t shown up.339. That bad?340. Well, he makes T-shirts for a living… and he thought it would be appropriate to give me… this.341. “Female Body Inspector”?342. What size is that?343. Ugh.344. Now wait a minute.345. So they’ll name their first child Joey?346. Uh-huh.347. How do I get them to name the next one after me?348. It’s easy. You just walk in on them having sex.9-14-13349. Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.350. Oh, my God! Look, it’s Ross and Rachel!351. The plan is working!352. Don’t do the plan laugh.353. The first dates we’ve had in months, and they were both such disasters.354. Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird… that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful… on the same night Joey set you up an a date that didn’t even show.355. Wait a minute.356. You don’t think it was intentional?357. I mean, that’s just stupid.358. We’re geniuses. Huh?359. Look at them! They’re really bonding.360. They’re falling in love all over again.361. Oh, they see us. Oh, they look mad.362. Oh, they figured it out. They’re coming. Run!363. Where?364. Mexico! 【SC・・・・15】 Chap. 4365. Can you believe they’re still not here?366. I know. A double blind date and we both get stood up.367. What are the chances?368. I know, I’m so bummed.369. Could we have our free crab cakes now?370. What?371. We’re been stood up.372. And we want our free crab cakes.373. Guys, give it a rest. Nobody’s betting on you tonight.374. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.375. I have such fat hands! 【Season9 第14話 完】
November 23, 2015
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《Season9-14-2》The One With the Blind Dates 初版・・・・2015年11月23日9-14-6142. Wait, did you say until the 6th?143. Yeah.144. Today is the 6th.145. No, it’s not. Look.146. Yes, it’s also 2003.147. Oh, my God. Today’s the 6th?148. I may be done ovulating!149. I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.150. Go take the test, see if we’re okay.151. Okay.152. Tough crib.153. Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks? There’s only one here.154. I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.155. Chandler.156. I am not working! There’s not much to do around here! 【SC・・・・6】157. Excuse me. Um-- Heh.158. Is there a woman waiting at the bar?159. Um, someone average height, dark hair? Or perhaps doing a puzzle?160. Uh, there’s a drunk Chinese guy.161. Well, if I’m still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.162. Um, can I get you another glass of wine?163. I don’t know if I should. I don’t wanna be drunk when I… go home alone tonight.164. Got stood up, huh?165. Eh, it’s no big deal. It’s just a blind date.166. Are you worried your date came, saw you and left?167. No! 【SC・・・・7】168. We’re okay. I’m still ovulating.169. Oh, good, because as of 4:00 this afternoon, I am not.170. So let’s do this.9-14-7171. I don’t think I can.172. Oh, come on.173. I know you’re not 18 anyone, but give it a minute.174. Because of Emma.175. Oh, my God, Emma.176. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.177. Oh, you’re right, we can’t do this. We can’t leave her alone.178. Sorry.179. Unless… maybe we do it here.180. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?181. Well, she’s aware when we leave a room. She may notice if we start… canoodling in it.182. “Canoodling”?183. Well, I can’t say “hump” or “screw”… in front of the B-A-B-Y.184. I don’t know, I guess having sex in front of a baby… isn’t so-- 185. Horrifying? Scarring?186. Something people go to jail for?187. I guess you’re right.188. You guess?189. At that bed-and-breakfast, we didn’t have sex… because you thought a deer was staring through the window.190. Well, what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer? 【SC・・・・8】191. Wow, everything looks so good.192. I think I’m gonna have the chicken.193. I just have to say this.194. You’re really beautiful.195. Oh. Wow, that’s very sweet. Thank you.196. I’m kind of funny-looking.197. What?198. Look, I mean, come on… you’re way out of my league.199. Everybody in here knows it.200. I bet that guy over there is probably saying:201. “Ooh, why’s she out with him? He must be rich.”9-14-8202. Well, I’m not.203. What do you think you want to order? I’m real excited about that chicken.204. I’m not funny, either.205. So if you were thinking, “Well, he’s not that good-looking… but maybe we’ll have some laughs,” that ain’t gonna happen.206. Well, come on, Steve, let’s not rule out nervous laughter. Ha-ha-ha.207. Hey, now, wait a minute, Phoebe told me… that you owned your own restaurant. That’s impressive. 208. I lost it to drugs.209. I silk-screen T-shirts now.210. Really? What’s that like?211. It’s really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.212. That’s right. I have no money, I’m not funny… I live in a studio apartment with two other guys.213. And I’m pretty sure I’m infertile.214. Now, come on. Come on, Steve.215. There must be something that you like about yourself.216. I do like my hair.217. Really? 【SC・・・・9】218. Hello?219. Phoebe, it’s me!220. I’m going to hunt you down and kill you.221. Hey, Rach.222. This is the worst date ever! How could you set me up with this creep?223. You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.224. I don’t care. This guy is a nightmare.225. All right, so he gets a little crazy when he’s stoned.226. He’s not stoned.227. Did he go out for a cigarette?228. Yeah. Four times.9-14-9229. My dear, sweet Rach.230. Oh.231. Well, our plan is working. Rachel’s having a miserable time… and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.232. Great. Pretty soon they’ll be back together.233. By the time anyone’s figured out what we’ve done, we’ll be in sunny Mexico.234. Oh, wait, that’s the end of a different plan. 【SC・・・・10】235. Oh, she’s asleep. Chandler?236. What are you doing?237. Emma was doing it.238. She’s asleep. 239. Ooh!240. She’s asleep. That means we can….241. Yes. But we have to be fast.242. Oh, okay, I’ll try.243. And you can’t make any moise.244. Okay, I’ll try.245. Hello?246. Emma?247. Hey! Hi!248. How are you? How are you?249. Where are your babysitters, huh?250. Why is the bedroom door closed?251. You can’t have S-E-X when you’re taking care of a B-A-B-I-E. 【SC・・・・11】252. I’ve got bad news. The Chinese guy left.253. Eh, if it was meant to be, it’s meant to be.254. Look, you got stood up. Who cares?255. We’re gonna show you a good time. Sit and relax.256. In fact, let me bring you a crab-cake appetizer on the house.257. Wow, free crab cakes? Well, that’s nice.258. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight. Heh.9-14-10259. Ooh.260. Just the crab cakes.261. What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? You can’t do that.262. Just get out of here, okay?263. I’m sorry, what’s going on?264. Uh, okay, um, the waiters have a little pool going.265. We have a bet on how long it’ll take before you give up and go home.266. What?267. You’re making money off my misery?268. Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.269. This is unbelievable. I have never been so insulted in my life.270. Now, if you’ll wrap up my free crab cakes, I’ll be on my way. 【SC・・・・12】271. Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.272. I think we may have done it this time.273. Oh, I wish I didn’t have to wait to take a pregnancy test.274. You may wanna get some more of those too.275. Where’s Emma?276. Oh, my God, where’s Emma? Where’s Emma?277. Don’t ask me. I was in there canoodling you.278. Okay. Okay. I’m sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma.279. You go look across the hall, I’ll call her cell.280. Okay.281. You better hope we’re pregnant… because one way or another, we’re giving a baby back to Rachel! 【SC・・・・13】282. I can’t believe I’m crying in front of you.283. You must think I’m so pathetic.284. No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.285. Really?286. Don’t touch my coat!287. Oh. Sorry, that’s my phone.
November 23, 2015
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《Season9-14-1》The One With the Blind Dates 初版・・・・2015年11月23日9-14-11. Morning, roomie.2. Hey!3. You remembered to put clothes on this morning.4. Fifth day’s the charm.5. Oh.6. It’s so great to be back here. You’re making it so easy on me and Emma.7. It’s great having you back. Stay as long as you want.8. And when does she stop crying all night?9. Hey! You’re not naked. Heh.10. So, hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?11. I’ll probably be back around 6. But she’s in the bedroom, all ready to go. 12. But she did fall back to sleep, so….13. She’s probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.14. Bye.15. Bye.16. Hey, I hope Emma isn’t making it too hard on you.17. No, hey, it’s been great.18. Yeah?19. Yeah.20. I want you to know that with Rachel staying here… all my feelings from before are totally over.21. And even if they weren’t… when you walk in on a woman using a breast pump….22. Yeah, that’ll do it.23. Wow.24. So how are you?25. I’m okay.26. Really?27. Sure. I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have9-14-2 worked out?28. Of course. You know, I’m disappointed, but it’s not like it’s a divorce. 29. Well, actually it-- 30. It’s not a divorce. It is not a divorce!31. Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to get on with our lives.32. Maybe start seeing other people.33. Wow. Really?34. Sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that’d be good for me…?35. Sure. I know lots of girls.36. Yeah? Any names come to mind?37. Ooh. Names? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 238. Hey.39. Hey.40. I was just gonna eat. Want something?41. What you got?42. Okay, let’s see, we got strained peas, strained carrots… ooh, strained plums. We haven’t tried that yet.43. Goody!44. Thanks. Ha, ha.45. So how is it living with Rachel again?46. I mean, apart from the great food?47. Ha, ha.48. I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just….49. It’s just weird what’s happening with her and Ross.50. Yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.51. Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.52. Why are they doing this?53. I don’t know.54. They’re so perfect for each other. It’s crazy.55. You know what’s crazy? These jars.56. What is there, like, two bites in here?57. I just wish they’d realize they should be together.9-14-358. When they moved in together, I figured that’s where things were headed.59. They should be a family. They should marry and have more children.60. Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey.61. I may not have kids. Someone’s gotta carry on the family name.62. You know what? Maybe once they start dating and see what’s out there… they’ll realize how good they are for each other.63. Yeah, because it is slim pickings.64. I had this date last night. Yuck!65. Mm.66. But we should probably keep it down, she’s still in the bedroom.67. So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna set them up with people?68. I know, that just pushes them further and further apart.69. I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates… so they’ll realize how good they are together.70. Ooh, that’s a great plan.71. Yeah.72. You know what the best part of it is? I get to do my plan laugh:73. Okay. Shh, shh. Not so loud. We don’t wanna wake up, uh…. 【SC・・・・3】74. Hi. You guys aren’t doing anything tonight, are you?75. See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we’re married?76. I mean, I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people.77. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.78. I was just asking because I need someone to watch Emma tonight.79. Sure we’ll do it. What are you up to?80. Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.81. Oh, my God.82. Wow.83. Why? What’s the big deal?84. I figured because you and Ross are-- 9-14-485. What? Slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I’m all set.86. I think it’s great you’re going on a date. It sounds healthy.87. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood.88. You want a job? Turn off Oprah and send out a resume.89. I’ll bring her by around 7, okay?90. That’s perfect.91. You guys are gonna have so much fun. She’s at such a cute age.92. A couple things. Now that she eats solid food, she poops around the clock.93. And watch out for your hair because she likes to grab it.94. She’s also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, but, oh… thanks, you guys. Have fun.95. Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name. 【SC・・・・4】96. Ooh, Joey, hey. I’m so excited.97. Hey.98. I just set Rachel up with the worst guy.99. All right. Who is he?100. It’s this guy I used to massage. By “massage”… I mean hold down so he wouldn’t turn over and flash me.101. Okay, okay.102. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.103. Oh, yeah.104. She’s this really boring woman. She’s a teacher.105. A teacher?106. She’s into history and foreign movies.107. Oh, oh. And she loves puzzles. Huh?108. Come on, who loves puzzles?109. Well, Ross does.110. You’re ruining the plan!111. Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.112. Oh, my God, you’re right!113. Yeah.114. She even reads for pleasure!9-14-5115. Ugh.116. How do you know a woman like that?117. I’m not allowed to know smart women?118. Joey?119. I met her at the library. I went in to pee.120. So now what do we do?121. Well, okay.122. I’ll call her and tell her the date’s canceled and find him somebody else.123. What if we don’t find him somebody else? We’ll just tell her the date’s off… but we don’t tell Ross. He goes to the restaurant and gets stood up.124. Ooh!125. Ooh, I hear that’s bad.126. Ooh, so this is great. Rachel’s gonna have a terrible date… Ross gets stood up, and then they’ll realize how good they have it together.127. Ah, yes, the plan.128. Ho-ho-ho.129. It’s not Santa’s plan.130. No, it’s:131. Yeah, you know, it’s not that fun.132. No, I think we killed it. 【SC・・・・5】133. Emma? Emma, look at me.134. Well, I think I’ll go downstairs for a while.135. No, no, no. No, no. It’s okay. It’s okay. I didn’t go.136. Don’t cry, it’s just a bit.137. I’m your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!138. Okay, just so you know, I’m gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th.139. So don’t touch yourself for the next 48 hours.140. I don’t do that.141. I’ll try to stop.
November 23, 2015
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《Season9-13-3》The One Where Monica Sings 初版・・・・2015年11月22日9-13-11280. No, no, no. I do. I do. I need your help.281. But, Chandler, I don’t know if I can take any more plucking. It hurt so bad.282. Not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe vera and my gentle… self- loathing touch. 【SC・・・・10】283. Take me to that mansion in the sky284. Aww….285. I’m sorry, the song’s over.286. Did you see me up there?287. Every little bit of you.288. I can’t believe I sang in front of people and they liked me.289. Did you hear that guy shouting, “Look at those tips”?290. I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?291. Sure.292. Mon, not that you didn’t sound good….293. Good?294. Didn’t you hear them? I was great!295. Thank you so much for making me do this. That is the best gift ever.296. Also a good gift: underwear. 【SC・・・・11】297. Thank you so much for letting me do this.298. Public bathrooms freak me out. I can’t even pee, let alone do anything else.299. But what’s great is, you don’t mind talking about it.300. It is so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me… because it’s like, you lose a boyfriend, and you get a boyfriend.301. Uh-huh.302. No, don’t worry. This is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.303. Phew.304. Good choice, Ross.9-13-12305. Oh, hey. Hi. There you are.306. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.307. Hello. Well, here I am.308. My mom is not bringing the baby back until 9:00.309. So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of-- 310. Somebody here?311. Oh, yeah. That’s Michelle.312. Who?313. Oh, just this woman I’ve been seeing.314. You’ve been seeing someone?315. Yeah, didn’t I mention that?316. I mean, we haven’t been going out too long… but there’s this amazing connection between us.317. I mean, in fact just before you came in, she called me her boyfriend.318. I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice.319. What are you taking amoxicillin for?320. How great is this? You’re already comfortable enough… to look through my stuff.321. I’m sorry, Michelle, this is my roommate, Rachel.322. And I’m also Emma’s mother.323. Who’s Emma?324. I told you about my daughter.325. This is your daughter?326. I could be your new mommy. 【SC・・・・12】327. And done.328. Oh, my God.329. I didn’t feel a thing. Hey, are you still looking for a job?330. Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon. 331. Thanks. Wanna see what it looks like?332. Yeah.333. Hey.334. They totally match. They look great.9-13-13335. They look great. How you doing?336. Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was… uncovering a birthmark right about there… but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.337. Chandler, thank you so much.338. No problem.339. Listen, that was a pretty girlie hour we just spent.340. We should do something manly to make up for it.341. Yeah.342. Curl my eyelashes.343. Yeah! 【SC・・・・13】344. For my next song, I think I’ll sing something a little more upbeat, all right?345. Oh, how about the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited”?346. And make it bouncy.347. Well, you can probably take care of that on your end.348. I’m sorry I’m late. You’ll understand when you see Joey.349. Honey, you’re just in time. I’m about to sing another song.350. Really? In front of all these people?351. And they love me.352. Oh, my God.353. She gives the people what they want.354. All right, watch.355. Tonight, tonight we’re gonna Make it happen356. Tonight we’ll put all other things aside357. Get in this time And show me some affection358. Are those my wife’s nipples?359. Isn’t that funny? I didn’t see that before. I wouldn’t have let her go up again.360. I’ve got to stop this.361. Wrap myself around you-- 362. Yeah!363. Oh, who cares? They still love me.9-13-14364. You, touching yourself! Out! 【SC・・・・14】365. Wow! Wow! She does that a lot.366. Ross, you didn’t tell me you were a doctor.367. Wait a minute. You haven’t even told her you are a doctor yet?368. How long have you known her, like an hour?369. Actually, about an hour and a half.370. I told you it wasn’t long, but there’s an amazing connection between us.371. You feel that too? Oh!372. I thought that that was just me.373. Are you kidding?374. Do you wanna go away this weekend?375. We’ll see.376. Ross, what’s going on here?377. Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?378. I don’t know. Are we just kissing guys on balconies?379. How do you know about that?380. Through the magic of sight.381. I was here, putting our child to sleep-- 382. Emma.383. When I looked through the window and saw you kissing a guy… You’ve known for what, a week?384. God, is that what this is all about? You bring her up here to get back at me?385. No, actually, see, I had to pee because I can’t use public bathrooms … because of the doody parasites.386. Okay, Michelle, it’s time to go.387. Well, call me.388. Okay.389. Wait, you don’t have my phone number.390. You know what? If it’s meant to be, I’ll guess it.391. Bye-bye.392. Score.9-13-15393. Did you not like her? Because I was hoping we could come… to your kissing parties on the balcony.394. I can’t believe you are making a big deal about this. It was one kiss!395. One guy. One time!396. Oh, really?397. Yeah.398. Oh, really?399. Oh, yeah.400. What about the guy from the bar?401. Who?402. The guy you gave your number to.403. How do you know about that?404. Because he called here looking for you.405. So don’t tell me kissing this guy from work is a one-time thing.406. Because you’ve been out there in bars and on balconies… for over a month now. And you don’t even have the courtesy to tell me.407. Why didn’t I get that message?408. What?409. From the guy in the bar? Why didn’t I get that message?410. Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket.411. Do you--? Do you not look there?412. Ross.413. I never gave it to you.414. Why?415. I don’t know.416. Oh, God, you know what? I don’t….417. Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide… what messages I should or should not get?!418. Who am I? I’m the guy who’s taking care of our baby… while you’re at bars meeting guys!419. I cannot believe you.420. I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation about us.9-13-16421. But I can’t do that with someone who hides my messages… and brings crazy women back to my apartment!422. Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!423. That’s not the point, okay? The point is… you are the one who moved on and didn’t tell anyone.424. Oh, God, Ross, this is just so messed up.425. What is wrong with us? When people hear about our situation, they ask:426. “You live together, but you’re not a couple, yet you have a baby?427. Isn’t that weird?” And I say, “No. It’s not, because it works for us.”428. But you know what? This doesn’t work.429. In fact, this is the opposite of working.430. Clearly.431. And you know… we said that we would live together as long as this makes sense… and maybe this just doesn’t make sense anymore.432. Yeah, maybe not.433. So, what do you wanna do? 【SC・・・・15】434. Hey.435. Hi.436. Can Emma and I live here for a while?437. God. Uh….438. Of course.439. Thank you.440. Your eyebrows look weird. 【SC・・・・16】 Chap. 4441. Jeremiah was a bullfrog442. Was a good friend of mine443. Never understood a single word he said444. But I helped him drink his wine445. So you’ll just touch yourself for anything, then? 【Season9 第13話 完】
November 22, 2015
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《Season9-13-2》The One Where Monica Sings 初版・・・・2015年11月22日9-13-6135. Don’t you have to be at work?136. Oh, come on.137. Hello. Hi, my name’s Chandler. This is my friend Ross right here.138. We were wondering… if you’re up for it, we only need six more people for a human pyramid.139. Swoop. Swoop.140. Uh…. So, um….141. Hey, I notice you’re reading the paper.142. Another flood in Europe, huh?143. Um, here’s a question:144. Would you rather drown or be burned alive?145. I’m sorry, we’re just leaving.146. Okay.147. We still got it. 【SC・・・・5】148. Who is it?149. Gavin. I brought you some soup.150. Why?151. Uh, I heard you were sick.152. Oh, right! Hold on, let me just clean up in here a little bit.153. Hello, Gavin.154. I missed you at work. How you feeling?155. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m pretty sick.156. Oh, good. Because I was having a totally paranoid moment… where I thought you called in sick to avoid me.157. Oh, no, no, no.158. So I had fun last night.159. So did I.160. Exactly how contagious is this thing you have?161. Is it a cold from standing on the balcony, or did a monkey bite you?162. It’s just a cold.163. Do you have a fever?164. Let me see.9-13-7165. Um….166. What? What is it? What’s the matter?167. What’s Ross doing to you in that picture?168. Oh, he’s dusting me with a fossil brush.169. He thought it would be funny.170. Right. Right.171. Yeah.172. Ross.173. Yeah.174. What’s the deal with you guys? I don’t wanna get in the middle of anything.175. Oh, you’re not getting in the middle of anything. Don’t worry about Ross.176. Hide! That’s Ross! Hide!177. Hide! Hide!178. Yeah, but you said not to worry-- 179. I lied and I’m not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain!180. Hi.181. Oh, Molly. You’re not Ross.182. No. I’m here to take Emma to your mother’s, remember?183. Right. Yes, yes.184. Don’t panic.185. What?186. There is a man behind your curtain.187. I have Mace in my purse.188. No, that’s okay! No, no, no.189. This is my business associate Gavin being silly. Come out from behind there.190. Hi. Gavin. Pleased to meet you.191. It was my idea to stand there.192. Hello. I’ll just go get Emma.193. Okay.194. So… why did I have to hide?195. I thought it was Ross.9-13-8196. I thought there was nothing going on between you.197. There isn’t. There totally isn’t.198. You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a bronco coming out of the chute.199. I used to be a rodeo clown.200. Um, all right, look, Gavin… I guess I felt guilty that you were here … which I shouldn’t.201. You know, Ross and I are not in a relationship… but he is the father of my child. And, you know… we do live together. And plus, there’s just so much history, you know? 202. It’s just-- I don’t know.203. I’m sorry. I’m just all over the place.204. It’s okay.205. It’s probably not my place, but can I give you a piece of advice?206. Yes.207. You should talk to Ross about all this.208. People keep saying that.209. Oh, I’m sorry, Gavin.210. Don’t be.211. It’s just bad timing.212. So seriously, rodeo clown?213. One of the best, ma’am. One of the best. 【SC・・・・6】214. No time for losers215. ‘Cause we are the champions216. Of the world217. Oh, she’s my girlfriend. That’s not just how we do it here.218. I’m gonna take a little break, and when we come back… we’ve got Kenneth singing “I Touch Myself.”219. I’m not here to judge.220. You have got to sing.221. No, I told you I can’t.222. But you would have so much fun. And you have a really nice voice.9-13-9223. When have you heard me sing?224. All the time, when you’re cooking.225. What?226. Yeah, you’re always singing:227. “Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy.”228. Yeah, I do rock that one.229. Isn’t there just a little part of you that wants to get up there?230. Just a little. But, God, it’s so scary.231. I don’t even know what I would sing.232. Well, I’ve got a book around-- 233. “Delta Dawn.” 【SC・・・・7】234. Hi. I couldn’t help but notice, but that’s an unusual necklace.235. You already hit on me an hour ago.236. Right. So that’s a firm no?237. I don’t believe this. I just keep striking out.238. I don’t get it either.239. I mean, you’re obviously desperate.240. You’re asking women how they wanna be killed.241. This is great. Rachel’s gonna keep kissing guys… until she finds the one she wants, and I’m gonna die alone.242. By drowning or…?243. Why would he break up with me?244. I don’t know, sweetie.245. All I ever wanted was to just love him and have him love me back.246. I mean, am I so unlovable?247. Wow.248. I know. 【SC・・・・8】 Chap. 3249. All right. That was Kenneth with his… much too literal rendition of “I Touch Myself.”250. Coming up next, we’ve got Monica singing “Delta Dawn.”251. Wait. I can’t sing in front of all these people.252. Just pretend they’re not even here. It’s okay.9-13-10253. Once that spotlight hits you, it’s so bright, you won’t see anyone anyway.254. Hi, I’m Monica. And I’m going to be singing “Delta Dawn.”255. Delta Dawn What’s that flower you have on?256. Could it be a faded rose From days gone by? 257. Can you totally see through her shirt?258. Like an X-ray.259. Bad day not to wear a bra.260. Take me to that mansion in the sky【SC・・・・9】261. Hey.262. I need your help.263. Wow, it seems serious.264. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?265. I’m getting new headshots taken. So I went to get my eyebrow shaped.266. I’m sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please.267. I may be a sissy, but I’ll still pound you into the ground.268. Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now… they don’t match!269. It’s like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama.270. You gotta help me out, okay? Look, I have a magic marker.271. Fill in the skinny one so I don’t look stupid for my pictures.272. Okay, first of all, this is green.273. What the hell am I supposed to do?!274. I will help you out… but you have to promise you won’t tell anyone What I’m about to tell you.275. What? What?276. Okay.277. You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn … or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine… by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his “Business partners.”278. Oh, my God.279. Yeah, well, I guess you don’t need my help, Victor-Victoria.
November 22, 2015
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《Season9-13-1》The One Where Monica Sings 初版・・・・2015年11月21日9-13-11. Hey.2. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure.3. Look, can we talk about what happened here last night?4. Sure. Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you.5. You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn’t do?6. Okay, you really don’t know what I’m talking about?7. No.8. Okay. Last night, after the party… I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.9. Our balcony? Seriously?10. That’s so funny. I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony… and she said, “No, no. It’s too cold. Nobody will go out there.”And I said:11. “Maybe if we put some lights out there they will.”12. Right, that’s what I came over to talk about. I saw Rachel kissing some guy… on your balcony, even though there were no lights!13. So are you gonna talk to her?14. Why? Why should I? I mean, if she wants to move on, that’s fine.15. You know when “that’s fine” sounds true? When someone yells it and spits.16. No, I’m serious. I mean, if she wants to date people, fine. I don’t care.17. But at least she could have told me.18. You know, I’ve been putting my life on hold and concentrating on Emma.19. But if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I.20. Very funny! Ross is gay! Ha, ha.21. No, no. Good, so you’re moving on.22. Do you have any idea where you’re moving on to?23. I’ve got plenty of opportunities.9-13-224. Just now, there was some woman at the coffeehouse smiled at me.25. And then the other day on the subway, a woman “accidentally” sat on my hand.26. Dude, don’t rub my face in your crazy single life.27. And there’s an anthropologist at school… who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental potluck dinner.28. Why did I get married? 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 229. Hey, let me ask you guys something.30. I’m having new headshots taken tomorrow.31. The photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed.32. Is that weird for a guy?33. Well, it depends.34. On?35. On how far along he is in the sex-change process.36. No, I totally disagree. I think it’s fine for a guy to do something like that.37. Especially an actor.38. I mean, not that you need to. Your eyebrows are….39. Stop it, you guys. Stop staring, you’re freaking me out.40. Your knuckles are kind of hairy too.41. Oh, man, now I have to get those done too?42. Wow, talk about high maintenance.43. You dye your hair.44. I’m a woman.45. Double standards!46. Before I forget, are you coming to Mike’s piano bar tonight?47. Only if I don’t have to get up and sing.48. But everybody sings. It’s so fun.49. Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out… and everyone booed him off the stage. It was so funny.50. Look, I’m not good at singing.51. Oh, what’s the matter? You scared? You afraid I’m a better 9-13-3singer?52. You afraid I’m gonna beat you at singing?53. Nope. Nope. It’s not working on me.54. Wow, I must be growing up.55. Okay, fine. Just please come and support Mike. You don’t have to sing.56. So I don’t have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others?57. While drinking.58. I’m there.59. Hi, you guys. Listen, I really need your help.60. I think I did something really stupid.61. Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it.62. No, not that. I kissed Gavin last night.63. My God.64. You kissed him?65. Yeah, it was after the party, we were on the balcony-- 66. Wait, wait, wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I miss that? 67. Well, it was the end of the party. You were probably ironing wrapping paper.68. Oh, yeah.69. So how did you end up kissing?70. We were all alone and he was being really nice… and he gave me this scarf.71. I thought you hated him.72. Well, there is a thin line between love and hate… and it turns out that line is a scarf.73. Are you thinking of starting something up with this guy?74. I don’t know. It’s so complicated. I work with this guy.75. I have the baby, and I have Ross. I don’t know what to do.76. And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in 10 minutes.77. Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin.9-13-478. And you definitely should talk to Ross.79. Or… I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.80. Wow! Five months maternity leave, you’re back for four days… kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you. 【SC・・・・3】81. Hi.82. Hi.83. I’m here for my eyebrow appointment.84. Name?85. Chandler Bing.86. Okay, very good.87. Have a seat right here, Mr. Bing, and Sonya will be right with you.88. Okay. Thanks.89. Mm-hm.90. Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh.91. Uh-oh.92. I touched the stuff.93. I’ll take care of it.94. Thanks.95. So do you…? Do you get a lot of guys in here?96. Oh, absolutely.97. Oh, good.98. You looking to meet somebody?99. All right, let’s just do this.100. Okay, we’ll get to the wax in a minute.101. First, I want to tweeze some of the strays, okay?102. Now, this may sting just a little bit.103. I have an extremely high threshold-- 104. Holy Mother of God! Oh, my face! My face!105. I’m all right. I’m all right. I’m all right.106. It’s just a bit of shock, that’s all.107. But I’ll be fine. You can go again.108. Okay.109. Sorry.9-13-5110. Damn it, woman!111. Ow, ow! Oh!112. Okay. 【SC・・・・4】113. Hey.114. Hey.115. It’s the most eligible man in New York. How’s the moving on going?116. Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand… but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.117. Maybe you’re going about this the wrong way. I mean, think about it:118. Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children.119. The personal ad writes itself.120. You know, that’s funny. Yeah. So do you think you’ll ever work again?121. What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.122. I can’t believe Rachel just moved on and didn’t say anything to me.123. Maybe she didn’t move on.124. Maybe that kiss was just an impulsive, one-time birthday thing.125. No, a month ago, she gave her number to some guy in a bar.126. Did she go out with him?127. No. When he called… I threw the message away.128. Ah, the highroad.129. All right, you know what? Enough. Enough talking. I have to get moving.130. Hey, check out those two blonds over there. Hey, come with me.131. Are you trying to get everybody divorced?132. You don’t have to do anything. It’ll just be easier if it’s two of us.133. Like college, remember? First, you break the ice with some kind of a joke… so they know you’re the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation… so they’ll see that I’m the brilliant, brooding sexy one.134. I thought I got to make the jokes.
November 21, 2015
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《Season9-12-3》The One With Phoebe's Rats 初版・・・・2015年11月21日9-12-11294. Hey. Guys, this is Tabitha.295. Hey.296. I’ll see you tomorrow.297. Okay.298. Uh, well, Joey, I guess we have no problem.299. It’s like my favorite fairy tale come true.300. The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian. 【SC・・・・11】301. Okay. Okay, you start preparing the formula… and I’ll start changing the box.302. And then we gotta put them straight to bed.303. When did we become one of those couples… whose lives revolve around their rats?304. Well, you know what? They’re our responsibility now.305. Okay, fine. These rats are our responsibility.306. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds?307. Mate? They’re all brothers and sisters.308. Yeah, uh, not such a problem with rats.309. No, they’re more of a “love the one you’re with” kind of animal.310. No. Really?311. Oh, my-- Get off your sister! Ew.312. Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?313. The-- We have seven rats.314. Uh-huh.315. So, what if each of them has seven rats… and then each of those have seven rats? That’s like….316. That’s math I can’t even do.317. What are we gonna do?318. Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy… but we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.319. Yeah, okay. I guess you’re right.320. All right, so we should just give them away.321. But to nice families with children and reduced-fat Wheat Thins.322. Those were Bob’s favorites.9-12-12323. It’s gonna be okay.324. You must think I’m crazy.325. No, I think you’re sweet.326. Good.327. This is just so hard.328. It’s hard for me to let them go.329. I guess it just brings back memories, you know… from when I gave birth to my brother’s triplets and I had to give them up.330. I haven’t told you about that yet, have I? 【SC・・・・12】331. Hey.332. Hi.333. Thanks for the party, honey. Sound I help you clean up?334. No way. You had your party. Now I have mine.335. Is everything all right?336. I just get bummed… when my birthday’s over.337. Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about.338. Mm?339. That jerk, Gavin, from your office… didn’t show up.340. Ah.341. Yeah, I hate him.342. We weren’t talking about you. We were….343. No. No way to recover. No. Okay.344. Fun party.345. Well, it was.346. And you would have seen it if you didn’t show up at….347. Nine-thirty? God. Ugh, this party was lame.348. Again, you’re welcome.349. Look, I’ll just give you this and go.350. Oh, you bought me a present. Why?351. Let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents… and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person.352. Okay, I, uh….353. I got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you.9-12-13354. Aw. Well, okay. Well, that’s very nice. And you wrote a card.355. “From Gavin.”356. I really mean it.357. Oh. Oh.358. Oh, it’s beautiful.359. If you don’t mind…? Let me.360. No.361. Well, what do you know, it fits.362. See, Gavin. You’re capable of being a nice guy.363. Why do you give me such a hard time?364. I’m not sure.365. Well, Monica seems to think it’s because you have feelings for me.366. I do have feelings for you.367. You do?368. Yes. I feel that you’re a little annoying.369. See, why? Gavin, why?370. Right when I’m about to change my opinion of you, you go and you--371. And you do that. 【SC・・・・13】 Chap. 4372. First I was afraid, I was petrified373. Hey.374. Hi.375. Listen, um, I think I left something here.376. Oh. Uh, well, somebody left this. Is this yours?377. Oh. No, but I like it.378. No, I think I left one of my rat babies.379. Oh. Uh, well, no. I haven’t seen it, but if I do, I’ll let you know.380. Aah! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby!381. Maybe that’s him. 【Season9 第12話 完】
November 21, 2015
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《Season9-12-2》The One With Phoebe's Rats 初版・・・・2015年11月21日9-12-6 him… and, you know, set him free in the countryside… where he could meet a friendly possum… and a wisecracking owl.148. Okay, okay. I’ll throw away the traps.149. All right, I’ll find Bob. I’ll get him.150. Bob? Bob?151. Robert?152. Wait, I think I hear him.153. Oh, my God! Bob had babies! Nob’s a mom!154. We’ll have to think of a new name.155. Oh, I don’t know, I kind of like “Bob” for a girl.156. No, no. I mean, I’m not sure that we-- 157. Oh, my God. We killed Bob?158. Well, maybe it wasn’t Bob. Maybe it was a mouse.159. Susie? 【SC・・・・6】160. What’s up?161. Seriously, dude. Three years ago.162. Listen, can you do me a favor? I’m gonna be out today.163. Can you keep an eye on Joey… make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?164. You don’t trust him?165. Well, no.166. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier… and asked for her daughter, uh, the “hot nanny.”167. Is this really your long-term plan, for me to run interference?168. Because I could get a job any day now.169. You do appear right on the cusp of something.170. Look, come on, man. I’m sure he’ll lose interest in a week or two … but for now, could you please just do this for me?171. Fine, but don’t blame me if it doesn’t work.172. Because you know once Joey sets his mind on something… more often than not, he’s going to have sex with it.173. Well, I mean, we’ve gotta do something. Okay?174. Nannies like her don’t grow on trees.9-12-7175. Picturing that tree?176. I am, yes. 【SC・・・・7】177. Where you going. Joe?178. For a walk.179. Oh, you mind if I join you?180. Actually, uh, I’d rather be alone. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.181. Your thoughts?182. Plural?183. All right, fine. I only have one thought.184. It’s about the hot nanny. I gotta see her.185. I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Joe.186. Now you’re telling me I can’t see her?187. You guys are killing me. She’s forbidden fruit. It’s like, like….188. Like she’s the princess and I’m the stable boy.189. Why are you doing this, huh?190. Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?191. Yes, as a matter of fact, he did. So I can’t let you go.192. Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles.193. Hot nanny and me against the world.194. This is the stuff great novels are made of.195. Great novels?196. Fine. Mediocre porn. 【SC・・・・8】197. Gavin Mitchell’s office.198. Rachel Green’s office.199. Give me that phone.200. Hello, this is Rachel Green. How can I help you?201. Uh-huh. Okay, then. I’ll pass you back to your son.202. Hey, Mom. No, that’s just my secretary.203. Um, excuse me, Gavin. I have a question I need to ask you.204. Mom, I’ll call you later. Yeah.205. Yes?9-12-8206. If you like looking at butts so much… why don’t you just go look in a mirror?207. Thank God you finally said that.208. I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago.209. Man, I really bug you. Don’t I?210. Oh, no. Please… I don’t care about you enough to bug me.211. In fact, from now on, I’m going to take the high road… and I’m going to be very, very nice to you, you mama’s boy… starting right now.212. Hey, Rach.213. Hi.214. Ready for your birthday lunch?215. I am.216. But first, Monica, I would like to introduce you… to my very talented colleague and more importantly… my wonderful friend, Gavin Mitchell.217. Pleased to meet you.218. Pleased to meet you.219. Are you coming to Rachel’s party?220. Oh, no, no, no. Gavin can’t.221. He already has plans… most likely with his mother.222. I don’t mind. I’ll cancel them. I would never miss my secretary’s birthday.223. Why did you invite him? I can’t stand that guy.224. You were being so nice to him.225. I was faking it.226. Can’t you tell when I’m being fake?227. Hey, Mr. Phillips. Nice suit.228. Right there. That was so fake!229. Shh! 【SC・・・・9】 Chap. 3230. Oh, hi.231. I still can’t believe you invited Gavin.232. I mean, he is just the last person I want to see.9-12-9233. You’re welcome for the party. I’m glad you’re having a good time.234. God, I hope he doesn’t show up. Of course he’s not gonna show up, the guy hates me.235. Does he?236. What?237. Maybe he keeps bothering you so much because he likes you.238. It’s like in first grade when Skippy Lange would push me… because he secretly had a crush on me.239. Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you?240. Honey, all those boys had a bet to see if he could knock you over.241. She’s out. I’m gonna take her home.242. Oh, okay. Thank you.243. Bye, sweetheart.244. Do you see what all the guys see in her?245. Wouldn’t kick her out of bed.246. No more vodka for me.247. Hey, Rach. So can I sing “Happy Birthday” to you now?248. Yeah, sure.249. Oh. All right.250. Happy birth-- 251. See you later.252. Hey, Rach. Somebody got you shoes.253. Give me.254. Wow. Wow. Oh, my God!255. Careful! Careful!256. These are my rat babies!257. Yeah. We have rat babies now.258. Oh, you brought rats to my birthday party?259. So this is what a stroke feels like.260. Well, I had to bring them. We killed their mother.261. They’re our responsibility now.262. You know, they require constant care.263. You should know that, Rachel, you’re a mother.264. Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?9-12-10265. No. Seven rats.266. I think we should take them home. We need to feed them.267. Wait, you’re gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?268. Well, I’m sorry, Rachel, but I’m not like you. Okay?269. Not everyone can afford help.270. Hey, where the hell are Joey and Molly?271. I asked you to watch them.272. I’m sorry. I got a little preoccupied.273. Look, we have to stop them before something happens.274. Right behind you, big guy. 【SC・・・・10】275. So you see, Molly, what people don’t understand… is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.276. So where’d you study?277. Oh, I didn’t go to college.278. No, where’d you study acting?279. Molly, people don’t study acting.280. Molly, uh, do you mind giving us just a minute?281. Sure. I’ll go check on Emma.282. Thanks.283. Will the stable boy never get the princess?284. What do you think you were gonna do, have sex with her here on my couch?285. No. The leather sticks to my ass.286. This isn’t fair. What makes you think I’m gonna sleep with her… and then blow her off, huh?287. Can’t you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actually like her… and might want something real?288. Look, the truth is I haven’t felt this way about anyone since Rachel.289. Okay? I didn’t think I could ever love again.290. Come on.291. Joe.292. Hi. Is Molly here?293. Uh, yeah, yeah. Come on in. Molly?
November 21, 2015
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《Season9-12-1》The One With Phoebe’s Rats 初版・・・・2015年11月20日9-12-11. Hey.2. Hey.3. Where’s Mon?4. She’s at home… putting up decorations for Rachel’s birthday party tonight. 5. And you’re not helping?6. I tried… but apparently singing !I Will Survive” in a helium voice, not helping.7. Hey, you guys.8. Hey.9. Happy birth-- 10. Shh. Don’t say that loud. Gunther’s gonna want to hug me.11. Uh, good news, everyone. We finally found a nanny.12. This is Molly. Molly, Chandler, Joey.13. Hi.14. Ooh, somebody’s getting a little fussy.15. You’re damn right I am. I’ve been waiting for a cookie for seven minutes.16. Okay. You know what, I’m just gonna take her outside.17. No, you stay. I’ll do it.18. Okay. Thank you.19. Nice to meet you guys.20. Yeah, you too.21. Wow, Molly’s just great.22. Yeah.23. Yes, bravo on the hot nanny.24. What? You really think she’s hot?25. Are you kidding?26. If I wasn’t married, she’d be rejecting me right now.27. Joey?28. How do you think she’s doing?29. Am I the only one that doesn’t think she’s hot? Ross?9-12-230. Ah, I mean, she’s not unattractive, but…31. Right.32. …but hot? Ah….33. Thank you. Ha, ha.34. Now that Rachel’s gone?35. So hot, I cried myself to sleep last night. 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 236. Hey, Mike, what’s the capital of Peru?37. Lima.38. No.39. It starts with a V and ends with an X.40. And hopefully with a T-O in the middle.41. You know, come to think of it, the capital of Peru is “Vtox.”42. Oh, God!43. What?44. Okay. I don’t want to freak you out or anything… but I just saw a rat in your cupboard.45. Oh, yeah. No, that’s Bob.46. Well, he’s your pet rat?47. Well, not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor… who I put food out for. You know, kind of like Santa.48. Except Santa doesn’t poop on the plate of cookies.49. You can’t keep a rat in your apartment. They’re extremely unsanitary.50. I mean, they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.51. What are those?52. I don’t know… but they don’t sound like spa treatments.53. You have to get rid of it.54. Okay, fine.55. If it means that much to you, I’ll get rid of Bob.56. Thank you.57. It’s so weird you think he’s so gross, yet you’re willing to eat his crackers. 【SC・・・・3】9-12-358. Hello.59. Hello.60. Gavin, I just want to say thank you again… for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation.61. I really owe you an apology.62. For what?63. When we first met, you know… I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious.64. Is this your first apology?65. No, I just mean, you know, first impressions don’t mean anything.66. And I think you’re a really good guy. And I’m sorry that I misjudged you.67. Morning.68. Hello.69. But you know what? Hey, new day, new leaf.70. I am just really, really happy-- 71. I’m sorry. Obviously, Heather’s ass has something more important to say… so I’ll just wait till it’s finished.72. What?73. I was giving you an apology… and you were totally checking her out.74. I wasn’t checking her out. I’m in fashion. I was looking at her skirt. 75. Or was it pants? I didn’t really see what happened below the ass area.76. Wow, you are really…. You’re really a creep.77. What do you even care if I was looking at her?78. Are you jealous?79. Oh, yeah. I’m jealous.80. “Oh, Gavin. Please, please look at my ass.”81. Stop looking at my ass.82. I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate. Okay?83. This is a work environment. She’s your subordinate.84. But it was okay when you slept with your old assistant, Tag?85. That is totally different for two reasons.9-12-486. One, I didn’t know that you knew that.87. And two, I wasn’t some creep staring at his ass.88. We had a-- We had a deep, meaningful relationship.89. Huh. What was Tag’s last name?90. It was….91. Oh, my God.92. He didn’t have a last name.93. It was just Tag, you know, like Cher or… you know, Moses.94. But it was a deep, meaningful relationship.95. You know what? My first impression of you was absolutely right. 96. You are arrogant. You are pompous. Morgan! Morgan!97. Tag’s last name was Morgan! Ha!98. It was Jones.99. What are you, his boyfriend? 【SC・・・・4】100. Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.101. You mean when you were a baby?102. Sure.103. Would you stop staring at her?104. I wasn’t staring.105. I was leering.106. What’s the big deal with her?107. Maybe she’s attractive in an obvious kind of way.108. Yeah, obvious beauty’s the worst.109. You know, when it’s right there in your face.110. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive.111. Makes me feel like I earned it.112. Looks like Joey’s doing all right with her.113. Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off… and let Joey get the girl for once.114. I’m gonna take her to the apartment.115. Okay, I’ll be home right after work.116. Okay.117. Okay, bye, Emma-wemma-demma.9-12-5118. I lovery-wovey-dove you.119. Bye.120. Bye.121. They’ve elected me to talk to you about the baby talk.122. It’s not so good.123. I think it’s sweet.124. Bye, Emma-wemma!125. Hey, listen, Joey. About Molly, I would really prefer if you didn’t go after her.126. Why not?127. Because it took months to find a good nanny.128. And I wouldn’t want anything to, you know, drive her away.129. So you think I’m just gonna sleep with her… and never call her again, and things are gonna get uncomfortable?130. Yeah, that sounds about right.131. Come on, there are plenty of other women out there, okay?132. Just forget about her, okay? She’s off-limits.133. Oh, man. What’d you have to go and say that for?134. Now that you told me I can’t have her, makes me want her even more!135. What are you, a child?136. Yes.137. Look, Joey, come on now. For me, please.138. Just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.139. Fine.140. Take me home. 【SC・・・・5】141. Hey, Mikey.142. Hey, Pheeb.143. What are you doing?144. Setting rattraps.145. To kill Bob?146. No. No, to test his neck strength.147. But no, I don’t want to kill him. I thought we were gonna capture
November 20, 2015
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《Season9-11-3》The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work 初版・・・・2015年11月20日9-11-11 presentation.282. Actually, I made a few changes. I think I’m caught up on everything.283. So ask me anything.284. How do you fix the chair?285. Ugh, except that!286. Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We are all ready for our presentation this afternoon.287. Good, because it’s in 10 minutes.288. What? I can’t do that. I have the baby.289. Ross is not gonna pick her up for an hour.290. Then Gavin can give the presentation. We have to do it now.291. Ralph needs to leave early today. He’s going helicopter shopping. Heh.292. Well, there you go, you win. You win.293. You get to do the presentation. You’ll knock them dead.294. No one will remember that I worked here, and then ralph will buy his helicopter… and Super Gavin will just fly right alongside of him.295. You can do the presentation.296. No, I can’t. I have a baby.297. I’ll watch her.298. Why would you do that?299. Because you worked really hard, and it’s your job. And you’re a little crazy.300. That’s really nice.301. I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable.302. Well, you’re not gonna like what’s coming.303. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.304. God.305. Thank you. Thank you.306. Um.307. Okay.308. I’m really fine. Don’t worry. I’m great with children.9-11-12309. Okay.310. Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you.311. Please don’t fire my friend. Just let me talk to her.312. Okay, but this is her last chance.313. Thank you.314. How about I do something for you?315. Tomorrow, uh, I’ll bring you a hat, cover up the bald.316. Hey, uh, listen, Pheebs. I was just talking to the director… and he was thinking maybe this time you don’t hit Drake.317. You just wait on the tables.318. I can’t do that. I’m an actor. I have a process.319. You’re a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it.320. Wait, I see what’s happening here. You’re threatened.321. What?322. I’m so good in the scene that I’m stealing focus from you.323. Well, rise to the challenge, Tribbiani, because I just raised the bar.324. Come join me up here.325. Ha-ha-ha.326. Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security. She won’t go easy. 【SC・・・・15】327. You faked it? You couldn’t have faked it.328. Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises.329. Guys can fake it?330. Ugh, unbelievable. The one thing that’s ours.331. Why would you fake it when we’re trying to have a baby?332. Well, that’s actually why.333. Look, I’m starting a whole new career now.334. I’m not saying I don’t want a baby.335. I’m just saying maybe we could wait a little while.336. Like--? Like a month?337. Or a year?338. Really? You wanna wait a year?339. It could be less than a year. I mean, you’ve heard my stuff.340. “Pants. Like shorts but longer.”9-11-13341. It’ll probably be more than a year.342. Wow. I….343. I really wanna have a baby.344. Well, yeah, me too.345. Look, I’ll just get my old job back.346. No, I want you to have a job that you love… not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.347. I quit, and you learn what I do?348. I think there’s never gonna be a right time to have a baby.349. Now you’re unemployed, and in a little while… you’ll find a new job that’ll keep you really busy.350. There’s always gonna be a reason not to do this… but I think once the baby comes, we’ll forget about all those reasons.351. I guess.352. I mean, it’s always gonna be scary when we have a baby.353. It’s gonna be really scary.354. I mean, God, when we have a baby… there’s gonna be so much that we’re not able to control.355. I mean, the apartment’s gonna be a mess.356. I won’t have time to clean it.357. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer… and messes up all the ribbons?358. What if there’s no room for a ribbon drawer… because the baby’s stuff takes up all the space?359. Where will all the ribbons go?360. Should we go make a baby before you change your mind?361. Yes, please!362. Okay.363. Oh, and I promise I will not fake it this time.364. Well, I wish I could say the same. I’m a little shook up. 【SC・・・・16】 Chap. 4365. I know you botched that operation on purpose.366. I can’t prove it yet, but when I do, you’ll be going to jail for murder.367. I don’t care if you are my brother.9-11-14368. I’m not your brother.369. What about my children, Drake? Huh?370. No! No! No!371. No! No!372. God! 【Season9 第11話 完】
November 20, 2015
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《Season9-11-2》The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work 初版・・・・2015年11月20日9-11-6146. Well, did they mention that I’m rubber and you’re glue?147. Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas.148. Oh, hi, Mr. Zelner.149. Ah, Rachel. I see you’ve met Gavin.150. When you left us, we weren’t sure what we were gonna do.151. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin. Ha-ha-ha.152. Well, that’s great.153. So now, uh, Super Gavin, when I come back… uh, where do you plan on flying off to?154. That’s up to Mr. Zelner. I’m sure he’ll make the right decision.155. Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power.156. Incidentally, when, uh, are you coming back?157. Uh, today.158. You said two weeks.159. No, I said today.160. See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening. 【SC・・・・8】161. Hey.162. Hey.163. So, what’d he say?164. Uh….165. He can be a little rough around the edges… so I’m gonna replace a word he used a lot with the word “puppy.”166. Okay? So he said, “If your puppy friend doesn’t get her puppy act together… I am gonna fire her mother-puppy ass.”167. I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I’m just not an actor.168. That’s right. You’re not. You’re a nurse.169. You’re Nurse With Tray.170. Joey-- 171. Nurse With Tray doesn’t know Joey. She has no time for friends.172. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor… because if she doesn’t, people die.173. Who dies?174. Man With Eye Patch!9-11-7175. Now, you get in there, and you do your job.176. Yes, doctor.177. Okay.178. Okay, let’s try this one more time.179. Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch. Your tray is coming.180. And, action.181. Yes, I did it! I nailed it!182. Whoo!183. What’s next?184. The rest of the scene.185. Okay, from the top, people. 【SC・・・・9】 Chap. 3186. Listen, sudden change of plans. Um, my maternity leave just ended.187. They said if I didn’t come back today, they’d fire me.188. What? No, that’s illegal.189. I’ll have the Labor Department here so fast, they won’t-- 190. All right, calm down, Norma Rae. They didn’t actually say that.191. I’m just afraid if I don’t come back now, this guy will try and squeeze me out.192. But what about Emma? I mean, we don’t have a nanny.193. I know. We’re just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight.194. Can you please just take care of her for today?195. Absolutely. Just give me your breasts, and we’ll be on our way.186. Come on. I don’t know what else to do.187. Fine. Fine.188. Okay.189. We’ll have fun, won’t we? Yes, we will. Yes, we-- 190. Ross.191. Huh?192. You’re pretty. 【SC・・・・10】193. Whatever I decide to do, I’m gonna be starting a new career from scratch. 9-11-8194. It’s gonna be a while before I make a living at it.195. Maybe now’s not the right time to be starting a family.196. So you have to tell Monica you don’t want to have a baby right now?197. Yeah.198. Goodbye.199. Okay, it’s baby time. Pants off, Bing.200. Didn’t see you there, Geller.201. Yeah, Ross is here, so….202. Uh, yeah, uh-huh. Yeah.203. Uh, and I was really hoping that maybe I could hang out.204. Mm.205. What do you, uh, feel like doing?206. Well, uh, we’re gonna have sex.207. I don’t feel like having sex.208. Uh, maybe, uh-- I don’t know.209. Maybe we can watch a movie or something.210. Uh, let me put it this way:211. We’re having sex whether you’re here or not.212. Pants off, Bing. 【SC・・・・11】213. Now that I’m back, why don’t you just fill me in on what you’ve been up to?214. Well, I’ve changed your screen saver from that picture of *NSYNC.215. Hey, they were popular when I left.216. I’m working on this big presentation for tomorrow.217. I should be involved in that, so get me up to speed.218. That’ll take weeks. Let me take care of the presentation.219. Oh, no. I see what you’re doing here, all right?220. This is my job, buddy. I’ve had it for five years, and I know how it works.221. So why don’t just catch me up?222. Fine.223. Oh, God. You’ve totally messed with the back support on my chair.224. How do you fix this?9-11-9225. You’ve been here five years.226. You figure it out.227. Fine, I will.228. All right, fill me in. 【SC・・・・12】229. Hey.230. Hey.231. Do you have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine.232. Oh, yeah, but you have to give it back if I get a job.233. Of course, by that time, ties will be obsolete… and we’ll all be wearing silver jumpsuits.234. Hey, good morning, lover.235. Hey.236. I gotta say, after last night, I’m a little weak in the knees.237. Here’s an idea. You walk into a room, take a quick scan.238. Sorry.239. But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night.240. Oh, God, I have to tell you something.241. You’re not pregnant.242. What are you talking about?243. Well, that thing that I have to do to make a baby?244. I faked it.245. What? You faked it?246. You know what?247. I don’t need a tie.248. I mean, it’s-- It’s better open collar, you know?249. It’s, uh, ahem, it’s more casual. 【SC・・・・13】250. Joey. Listen, I can’t do this. It doesn’t make any sense.251. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I’m a waitress at a café?252. Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It’s okay.9-11-10253. Well, it’s not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse.254. And now, suddenly, I’m the waitress? That’s gonna confuse my fans.255. Um, um….256. Well, maybe you are a nurse… but you moonlight as a waitress.257. Oh.258. Uh-huh.259. Because I’m a single mother supporting my two children.260. Nice. Yeah.261. Yeah.262. Okay. Wait a minute.263. Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn’t I come say hi?264. No. No, see, uh, you and Drake are having a fight.265. About what?266. He slept with you and then never called you.267. And I just wanted a new daddy for Davey and Becky.268. Okay.269. Okay. Okay, from the top.270. And, action.271. So I’m surprised you agreed to have lunch with me.272. I’m surprised too. But yet, here I am.273. Cut! Cut!274. What--? What are you doing?275. I’m very angry at him because he slept with me and never called me back.276. Me too.277. Me too!278. Oh, calm down. She means on the show.279. We need some new extras around here. 【SC・・・・14】280. Wow. You’re here already.281. Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the
November 20, 2015
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《Season9-11-1》The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work 初版・・・・2015年11月20日9-11-11. Hey.2. Good morning, tiger.3. I’m making you a big breakfast, so you can keep up your strength for tonight.4. You ‘re gonna get me good and pregnant.5. I’ve got nowhere to go this morning. I’m unemployed.6. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with my life.7. Well, I just lost my erection.8. No, I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?9. You’re supposed to find your passion in life.10. You can be whatever you want to be now. It’s exciting.11. Yeah, but it’s all so overwhelming. I don’t know where to start.12. Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this.13. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications… and files—14. Hey, this is where your hyper-organized pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off.15. I know!16. My erection is back! 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 217. Thank you.18. Ooh, Joey, could I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?19. Okay.20. Thank you.21. Thank you.22. Uh, Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?23. I’m sorry. It’s just, I’m a little short on cash.24. Oh, if you want, I could loan you some money.25. Oh, no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends.26. No. That’s why Richard Dreyfuss and I don’t speak anymore.27. Ooh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?28. You could do that?9-11-229. Yeah, yeah.30. The pay’s pretty good, and you could do it for as long as you need.31. Oh, my God. I’m gonna be on TV!32. Okay, now….33. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn’t as glamorous and exciting as you think.34. Oh, really?35. No, it is awesome.36. Hey, guys.37. Hey.38. Hi.39. Oh, wow.40. Hey, why are you all dressed up?41. We’re bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone.42. Doesn’t she look cute?43. She sure does.44. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?45. If one more person says, “What a cute little boy”… I’m gonna whip them with a car antenna.46. I think she’s gonna be the hit of the office, huh?47. Yeah, she’s gonna be hotter than, uh, peasant blouses and A-line skirts.48. Can I get a blue bow? 【SC・・・・3】49. Okay. I have looked through a bunch of career guides… photocopied and highlighted key passages… and put them intoalphabetical folders, so you can make an informed decision.50. How long was I in there?51. Okay, let’s start with the A’s. Advertising.52. Wait. Advertising, that’s a great idea.53. Well, don’t you wanna look through the rest?54. I don’t think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense.9-11-355. I’m sorry you had to waste all this time.56. You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time?57. Ooh, now I’ll get to use my shredder!58. I mean, I could write slogans. I mean, how hard could it be, right?59. “Cheese. 60. It’s milk that you chew.”61. “Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.”62. “A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth?”63. Oh, I got one.64. “Socks. Because your family’s feet deserve the best.”65. Honey, leave it to the pros.66. I actually know someone in advertising.67. I grew up with a guy who is a vice president at a big agency.68. Maybe I can get him to meet you. Give me the phone.69. “The phone. Bringing you closer to people who have phones.”70. “Marriage. It’s not for everybody.” 【SC・・・・4】71. That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.72. Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.73. I’m just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff.74. Who the hell are you?75. Who the hell are you?76. I’m the hell person whose office this is.77. Good one, Rach.78. I’m Gavin Mitchell, the person who’s taking over your job.79. Excuse me?80. Oh, your baby’s so cute.81. But why would you put a pink bow on a boy? 【SC・・・・5】82. Hey, Joey. Look at me.83. I’m a nurse.84. Yes, you are.85. Ha, ha.86. I think it might be time for my sponge bath.9-11-487. Sorry, I’m just so used to hitting on the extras.88. So sre you excited about your scene?89. Yeah, but I’m a little nervous.90. Oh, relax. Don’t be. They’ll probably just make you stand in the background.91. Good.92. You. Here, come here. Here.93. Take this tray, stand on this yellow mark. You’re gonna move on “action.”94. Walk over to the operating table, stop on the blue mark and put the try down.95. Don’t walk too fast.96. But don’t dawdle.97. Okay. Now, what?98. And, action!99. Cut! Cut!100. I’m sorry.101. I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous.102. Yeah, well, don’t be.103. Okay, that helps.104. And, action!105. Cut!106. Don’t worry about it. It usually takes me three takes too.107. Ha-ha-ha. All right, eight.108. And… action! 【SC・・・・6】109. So do you have any other questions about advertising?110. No. No. But let me show you what I can do.111. “Bagels and doughnuts.112. Round food for every mood.”113. Monica warned me you might do that.114. I think we might have something for you at the agency.115. Really? That’s great.116. It’s an unpaid internship.9-11-5117. That’s funny. When you said “unpaid,” it sounded like you said “unpaid.”118. Come on, now. Monica has a good job.119. It’s not like you have a family to support.120. Actually, we’re trying. I don’t think Monica is gonna want to postpone it.121. We’re supposed to have sex tonight.122. Actually, she’s probably at home, naked right now.123. I tend to keep talking till somebody stops me.124. I can picture her on the bed.125. Stop!126. Okay. 【SC・・・・7】127. Wait. What do you mean, you’re taking over my job?128. Well, while you were on your baby vacation, I was doing your job.129. A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve… something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.130. Clearly, you’ve never been to Sandals Paradise Island.131. All right. Don’t get too comfortable there, because I’m back in two weeks.132. I want everything back the way it was.133. I can’t say I care too much for the way you’ve rearranged my office.134. I can’t say I care too much for that smell you’ve brought in.135. Excuse me?136. Uh, Rach, uh, we have a code brown situation.137. Honey, could you please take care of it for me?138. All right, but you’re gonna have to do one sometime.139. Let me just get this straight.140. So I go have a baby, and they send some guy in to do my job?141. Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren altogether.142. Okay. Right. You’re very cheeky for a temp.143. I’m not a temp. I was transferred here from another department.144. Oh, and what department was that? The, uh, jerk department?145. They didn’t tell me about your quick wit.
November 20, 2015
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《Season9-10-3》The One With Christmas In Tulsa 初版・・・・2015年11月19日9-10-11298. It’s not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding.299. I mean, you work-- You work really hard for that.300. Well….301. Well, you work for that.302. Look, I’ve thought about it too. And… I’m sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.303. You do?304. Yeah. I’m putting my foot down.305. Yeah, look, when I proposed… I told you that I would do anything to make you happy.306. And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then….307. Then that’s what we’re gonna do.308. You are so sweet.309. But wait. What about our--? What about the future and stuff?310. Ah, forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids.311. You know, we’ll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college.312. You’ve thought about that?313. Yeah.314. How many kids were we gonna have?315. Uh, four. A boy, twin girls… and another boy.316. What else did you think about?317. Well, heh… stuff like where we’d live, you know.318. Like a small place outside the city where our kids could ride their bikes and stuff.319. You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar… and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door.320. Of course we’d have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.321. You know what?322. I don’t-- I don’t want a big, fancy wedding.323. Sure you do.324. No.9-10-12325. I want everything that you’ve just said.326. I want a marriage.327. You sure?328. Mm-hm.329. I love you so much.330. I love you. 【SC・・・・13】331. Ah! Oh, I love it.332. Really? You’re not gonna return it?333. Well, not this second.334. Hey, look, you guys. It’s snowing.335. Oh.336. Oh, wow, it’s so beautiful.337. Wow, it really is.338. Ah.339. Wendy’s a fat-girl name.340. Aren’t we done with that?341. Okay, fine. Fine. Let’s talk about snow.342. Do you think it’s snowing in Tulsa… where my husband’s having sex on a copying machine?343. Hey.344. Oh, my God.345. Hey.346. Aw.347. Hey. Look at that. It’s a Christmas miracle.348. What are you doing here?349. I wanted to be with you.350. I missed you so much.351. Hey, hey, uh, who’d you miss the most?352. Monica.353. Gotcha.354. I never wanna leave you again.355. But I thought if you left, You’d get fired.356. Turns out they can’t fire me. Because I quit.9-10-13357. What?358. What? You--? You really quit your job?359. Yeah. It was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you.360. And why should I be the only one who doesn’t get to do… what he really wants to do?361. Well, what do you really wanna do?362. I have not thought this through.363. Oh, my God.364. I know. I should’ve talked to you first.365. No, I think that this is what you wanna do. I think it’s great.366. Thanks.367. Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I couldever imagine. 368. Aw.369. Now give me my real gift.370. Yeah.371. Than you.372. Here, pass those around.373. Oh, hey.374. “A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.”375. How did you know?376. What? Are you kidding? I can’t return this.377. I thought it was time we started thinking about other people.378. And besides, this gift still says I love you guys.379. Mine says, “To Lillian Myyers.”380. I don’t have a job. 【SC・・・・14】 Chap. 4381. Actually? No.382. Bookkeeper? Hmm, no.383. Topless dancer?384. Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner.385. You are the head of the household. I don’t do anything. I’m a kept man.9-10-14386. You are.387. Honey, here’s 20 bucks.388. Go buy yourself something pretty while I’m at work tomorrow. 【Season9 第10話 完】
November 19, 2015
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《Season9-10-2》The One With Christmas In Tulsa 初版・・・・2015年11月19日9-10-6144. Hey, you think you can keep it another night?145. Santa? Really?146. Yeah, is that okay?147. Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?148. No.149. Then it’s okay. 【SC・・・・7】150. You know what, everybody?151. Go home. You should be with your families.152. It’s bad enough that we’re working New Year’s Eve.153. Did I not tell anyone about New Year’s Eve?154. All right, look, go. Go home, okay? Merry Christmas. Go.155. Merry Christmas.156. Peace on earth.157. Bye.158. Good. Godspeed, good people.159. You’re not gonna go?160. Nah. I couldn’t leave you alone.161. Oh. Thanks.162. Besides, I can’t leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out.163. There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham.164. Ah.165. Chandler Bing.166. Hi, honey. We’re all here.167. We just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.168. Merry Christmas.169. Aw, merry Christmas. I miss you guys.170. So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?171. Uh, well, no, it’s just, uh, me and Wendy.172. Wendy? That sounds like a girl’s name.173. It is. Did I not tell you about her?174. Mm-hm. About the time you told me about New Year’s Eve.175. Where’s everybody else?9-10-7176. I sent them home.177. Oh, you are such a good boss. Is she pretty?178. Uh-- Uh….179. Answer faster. Answer faster.180. I don’t know.181. Answer better. Answer better.182. I don’t think of her that way. I mean, she’s a, uh, colleague.183. What does she do there?184. Oh, she’s regional vice president.185. She’s just below me.186. She did what?187. Below me.188. Oh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?189. What?190. Well, she didn’t win.191. All right, well, maybe I should let you… and the second-prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work. 192. Well, second prettiest that year.193. Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she’s a probably-- 194. Chandler, stop talking.195. Honey, there’s really nothing to worry about.196. Okay.197. I’m serious.198. Okay.199. Merry Christmas.200. Merry Christmas.201. Merry Christmas, you guys.202. Merry Christmas.203. The wife says hi.204. Ah. Fun conversation?205. Ah, well, she’s just got this weird idea that, uh… just because you and I are alone something’s gonna happen. 206. Huh? Really?207. Hmm. Would that be so terrible?9-10-8208. This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about… but you’re getting ham on my only tie. 【CC・・・・8】 Chap. 3209. Whoa, back off, missy.210. Ha, ha. Missy?211. I don’t know. I’m not used to girls making passes at me.212. Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma?213. You are to me.214. No. No. No.215. Look, I’m married.216. So? I’m married.217. I’m happily married.218. Oh. What’s that like?219. Right. So I’m sorry, but-- 220. Seriously? Happily married?221. So that phone call before, that was happy?222. Well, look, it’s not easy to spend this much time apart.223. She’s entitled to be a little paranoid.224. Or, in this case, right on the money.225. You know, she’s amazing and beautiful and smart.226. And if she were here right now, she’d kick your ass.227. Look, you’re a really nice person, ham stealing and adultery aside.228. But what I have with my wife is pretty great.229. So nothing’s ever gonna happen between us.230. Okay, let me ask you something.231. If what you and your wife have is so great… then why are you spending Christmas with me? 【SC・・・・9】232. You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.233. Really?234. Are you kidding?235. You’re the most beautiful woman in most rooms.236. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on? You and I just made out.237. You and I are making out?9-10-9238. Well, not anymore.239. But we don’t do that.240. I know. I just thought it would be fun.241. How drunk are you?242. Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this.243. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.244. That’s a perfect amount.245. You know what’s weird?246. What?247. This doesn’t feel weird.248. I know.249. You’re a really good kisser.250. Well, I have kissed over four women.251. You wanna get under the covers?252. Uh-huh.253. Okay.254. Wow, you are really fast.255. It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.256. We’re gonna see each other naked.257. Yep.258. You want to do it at the same time?259. Count of three?260. One.261. Two.262. Three.263. Well, I think it’s safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.264. Eh, we weren’t that close anyway. 【SC・・・・10】265. So are you really gonna go out with that nurse-man?266. Well, uh, you and I are just goofing around.267. I thought, why not just goof around with him?268. I don’t know if you’ve ever looked up the term “goofing around” in the dictionary.269. Well, I have.9-10-10270. And the technical definition is two friends… who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex… and just want to spend more time together.271. But if you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me… then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary.272. I am so bad at this.273. I think you’re better than you think you are.274. Really? Okay. So if--?275. Know when to stop.276. You know, I sensed that I should stop.277. So we’re okay?278. Yeah.279. Don’t do the dance.280. Right. 【SC・・・・11】281. I can’t get married without something old, something new… something borrowed, something blue.282. Okay, okay.283. Here’s something blue and new.284. You are so efficient. I love you.285. Let’s go.286. No, no, wait.287. We need something old.288. Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I’ve had since I was 12.289. That’ll work.290. I don’t think so.291. Okay. Now we just need something borrowed.292. Here, just take this.293. That’s stealing.294. We’ll bring it back. Just put it under your dress.295. Aw. 296. Okay, one thing at a time. 【SC・・・・12】297. Listen, um… I’ve been thinking.
November 19, 2015
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《Season9-10-1》The One With Christmas In Tulsa 初版・・・・2015年11月19日9-10-11. He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle2. And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle3. But I heard him exclaim Ere he drove out of sight4. “Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night.”5. Wow. That was great.6. Mm-hm.7. You really wrote that?8. Uh-huh.9. Say goodbye, elves. I’m off to Tulsa.10. Aw.11. I can’t believe you’re not gonna be here for Christmas.12. You’re really not coming back?13. Yeah, we have this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year.14. If I don’t get it done, I’ll be fired.15. It’s so unfair.16. You don’t even like your job.17. So? Who does?18. I like my job.19. I love my job.20. I can’t wait to go back to work.21. I can’t get enough dinosaurs.22. I’m sorry I won’t be here.23. It’s just hard enough not seeing you during the week… but for Christmas….24. If this is what you have to do, I understand.25. Thanks.26. I’ll see you New Year’s Day.27. You’re not gonna be here New Year’s Eve?28. Did I not mention that?29. No.30. And to all a good night.9-10-2 【SC・・・・2】 Chap. 231. All right, everybody. I know that it is Christmas Eve… and you’d Rather be with your families, but there is no call for writing:32. “Screw you, Mr. Bing” on the back of my chair.33. By the way, you can all call me Chandler.34. Hey.35. Hey. Where you been?36. I was, uh, checking out that insurance company’s Christmas party on three.37. It was really beautiful. They have all these decoration and this huge tree.38. And I just thought, to hell with them, we have to work.39. So I stole their ham.40. You hear that? You may not be with your families… but at least it’s gonna smell like ham in here.41. My kid’s in a play right now.42. You know what? I know what will cheer you guys up.43. I had a talk with the boys in New York.44. I told them about all the hard work you’ve been doing… and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.45. “A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.” 46. Well, that’s like money in your pocket.47. All right, look, you want me to say it? This sucks.48. Being here sucks. This work sucks.49. Now it feels like Christmas.50. I’m sorry.51. Hey, at least you get to go home and be with your families tonight.52. I have to back to an empty hotel room and lay down… on a very questionable bedspread.53. Then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses.54. Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to.55. You can come to my house.9-10-356. Ha, ha. No, thanks.57. It was a nice pep talk.58. Oh, thanks.59. I’m actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.60. So if you were home right now, what would you be doing?61. Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional. 【SC・・・・3】62. So here’s a very special holiday song… that I wrote for some very important people to me.63. Went to the store, sat on Santa’s lap64. Asked him to bring my friends All kinds of crap65. Said all you need Is to write them a song 66. They haven’t heard it yet So don’t try to sing along67. No don’t sing along68. Monica, Monica Have a happy Hanukkah69. Saw Santa Claus He said hello to Ross70. And please tell Joey Christmas will be snowy71. And Rachel and Chandler72. Happy holidays, everybody. 【SC・・・・4】73. Okay, Pheebs, look in the kitchen. I’ll look in the back closet.74. I can save you time, ladies. I’m right here.75. Yeah. Chandler, why don’t you take a walk?76. This doesn’t concern you.77. We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.78. What? That’s terrible.79. No, no. We do it every year.80. Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.81. No. Yeah, we never find them. She’s always bested us, that wily… minx.82. Don’t worry. We’re gonna search here for an hour… and then we’re gonna go to Joey’s and search. Okay?83. No, not okay. You can’t look for Monica’s presents.9-10-484. No, we have to.85. No, you don’t have to.86. And you can’t, because I live here too.87. Well, then you should look with us.88. Why?89. Chandler, aren’t you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?90. No, I have a great idea for a present for her.91. Oh, pfft. That’s it? A great idea again?92. Chandler, that’s not enough. What if she gets you a great present… two medium presents and a bunch of little presents… and you got her one great present? That’s just gonna make her feel bad.93. Why would you do that to her, Chandler? Why? Why?94. If I helped, we could find them faster.95. That’s right.96. Ooh, ooh, we have a live one.97. It’s a Macy’s bag.98. Yeah.99. Oh.100. Ooh. Who’s it for?101. “Dear Losers: Do you really think I’d hide presents under the couch?102. P.S. Chandler, I knew they’d break you.” 【SC・・・・5】103. Rach, these are for you.104. Wiper blades. I don’t even have a car.105. No, but with this new car smell, you’ll think you do.106. Okay, Pheebs, your turn.107. Ah. Toilet seat covers.108. Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?109. You guys.110. And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.111. You got me a cola drink?112. And…a lemon-lime.9-10-5113. Wow. Well, this—This is too much.114. I feel like I should get you another sweater.115. And last, but not least….116. They’re ribbed, for your pleasure. 【SC・・・・6】117. Well, hey, Ben. 118. What if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights? 119. Cool.120. Come on, Ben.121. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.122. Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.123. Santa.124. Hey.125. What are you doing here, Santa?126. Well, I’m here to see my old buddy Ben.127. What are you doing here… weird turtle-man?128. I’m the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend.129. You sent me here to give Ben some presents.130. Remember?131. What?132. Okay, Ben, why don’t you open some more presents?133. Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.134. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.135. What are you doing?136. You called everyone and said you had trouble finding a Santa costume… so I borrowed one from a guy at work.137. Thank you, but you gotta leave.138. Why?139. Because… I’m finally getting him excited about Hanukkah.140. And you’re wrecking it.141. But I didn’t get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.142. I’m sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me.143. Okay, fine. I’ll give the suit back.
November 19, 2015
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