PR
キャリアコンサルタントひろくん
あなたが自らの人生を幸せにする為に選択・実行できるよう、専門性を最大限に発揮して支援致します。
2025.02.28
If you have practiced the Triple Column Method or the Column Method, I think you have experienced how easily your mood changes. It must have been difficult to get started. Instead, some people may have been surprised in a good way by the unexpected change in their mood.
One of the most frightening characteristics of depression is that it paralyzes your willpower.
If you do not realize that you are trapped by the emotions that are binding you, you may feel nihilistic and say, "I don't want to do anything. I'm no good. I'm powerless... I can't do anything..." for weeks, months, or even years.
Also, compared to your previous energy self, your current lack of activity will increase your sense of frustration. To make matters worse, nihilism also has a negative effect on family and friends who cannot understand your actions. Because they have not learned enough, they may criticize you for their own reasons and standards. Such words and actions will only make you suffer even more.
However, if you have the determination to help yourself by relying on your own will and actions, you will often be cured easily. Many people with depression stubbornly refuse to do anything to help themselves, but once the problem that motivated them is resolved, the depression will disappear rapidly.
Here is a specific example. Suppose a woman believed that her mother had been controlling her and had suffered from depression for more than 20 years. A counselor encouraged her to express her opinion to her mother, but she stubbornly denied that she could do so. However, one day by chance, she was able to assert her opinion to her mother. It was a complete coincidence, but her mother accepted the woman's opinion. Her depression improved rapidly after that.
Now, regarding the topic of nihilism, why do we do it even if we know it is not to our own benefit?
1. Is it an innate human characteristic?
2. Is it because we have an impulse similar to that of an M (masochist) in SM?
3. Is it actually a way of attacking others in a roundabout way (for example, by causing trouble for others as a result of our own lack of motivation)?
4. Do we do it because we can get help from those around us?
The bottom line is that none of these are true.
1. It is true that there is a lazy side to part of the human psyche, but it is only a "part". That part does not control almost everything.
2. If you want to insist that people get pleasure from being bullied, try peeling off your fingernails to see if you can get pleasure from it.
3. A person who is deeply depressed does not have the energy to attack others.
4. Actually, this is only partially true. Humans long ago needed to live in the great outdoors. So it was effective to simply appeal to those around me that I was weak and receive simple support immediately. Screaming was also effective.
However, we live in a civilized modern society. The methods that were effective in ancient times, as mentioned above, are not suitable for modern times. There are many more effective support methods for those of us living in the modern age. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the best examples.
"I don't want to do anything. I'm no good. I'm already alone. I can't do anything." There are 13 psychological states that you are likely to fall into when you become nihilistic like this. Let's take a look at them.
*There is some overlap with 12cognitive distortion.
1. Despair
Because you are caught up in the intense suffering of that moment, you forget all the good things that made you feel good in the past, the possibility of feeling better, and all the experiences that were actually good, and you continue to despair. As a result, any activity feels meaningless. Even though it's not actually true.
2. Helplessness
You believe that the way you feel right now is determined by factors outside of yourself, such as fate or the opinions of others.
3. Being overwhelmed
I feel overwhelmed without even realizing it. In particular, I make the tasks I need to do bigger and take perfectionistic approaches.
If I thought, "I need to polish every single word, give every appropriate example, and act perfectly to explain cognitive therapy in an easy-to-understand way for everyone! On top of that, there's no way I can achieve outstanding results at work and contribute to my family in the best way possible every day...", I would be so overwhelmed that this blog would not exist!
4. The spirit of negation
I have a habit of saying "I can't do it," "It's impossible," and "But...". When these are followed by the words "It's probably true, it becomes even more powerful.
5. Labeling
You ignore everything else with just one word. For example, if you label yourself as "fat and ugly! Pig," you will lose confidence in yourself, but there are many people who are fat but enjoy life and love and marriage. For example, many comedians fall into this category.
6. Not properly evaluating yourself
You underestimate yourself and the meaning of what you have done. For example, when you participate in a group work for eating disorder treatment, you tell your story and the people around you praise you by saying, "That was an easy-to-understand story." However, if you sell yourself short, you will evaluate yourself as follows: "Was my story easy to understand? That's just because the people around me were kind and understanding. It just so happened that today's specific example suited them. Next time, it's impossible."
7. Perfectionism
This is one of the roots of all evil.
You want everything to be 100%. In the first place, human existence itself is not 100%, is it? Even God may not be 100%.
8. Fear of failure
In particular, overgeneralization is bad. If you fail this time, you are sure you will fail next time too! This overgeneralization is a mistake.
In terms of failure and success, both possibilities exist. Even if you fail, it's not necessarily fatal. So why are you so sure you'll fail?
On the other hand, focusing only on the result also increases your fear of failure. The process on the way to the result also brings us so many things, including a fulfilling mood and personal growth. If you think about it that way, even if you fail, you can sublimate the failure into an experience by responding afterwards.
9. Fear of success
You may be thinking, "You're scared of succeeding? Success is a good thing, right?" This kind of person cannot think that their success is "thanks to me." They think, "I just happened to succeed... I'm sure I'll fail next time! I can't maintain that state of success!" This is one of the causes of the so-called "promotion depression."
10. Fear of blame and criticism
You feel like "everyone" will criticize you or not accept you! Therefore, you think that if I do not act as much as possible and do not make an effort, I will not fail.
However, unfortunately, no matter how good a person is, they will receive a certain amount of criticism and blame. It is often unreasonable.
It may be effective to take a realistic view that only people who have improved their human skills will show a lot of gratitude and acceptance.
11. Pressure and rebellion
We are swayed by words of obligation such as "we have to do this" and "we must (absolutely) do this". In particular, if we set unrealistic goals or states that we should achieve, we will continue to bear pressure, tension, anxiety, rebellion, etc.
If you feel that this part of you overlaps with perfectionism, you have a sense for using cognitive behavioral therapy.
12. Decrease in "room to avoid getting irritated"
If there is an obstacle on the way to achieving a goal or solving a problem, we will become extremely angry. We tend to hold grudges against all kinds of unfairness and give up on everything in the end. Moreover, if you believe that you are entitled to success, love, praise, health, happiness, etc., your feelings and situation will become even worse.
It is better to realistically think that these are things that you do not have in the first place, and that you can obtain them through various ingenuity and positive interactions with other people.
13. Guilt and self-blame
You are not an omnipotent person. (An omnipotent person = a perfect person.) I am a bad person. Other people must look down on me. If you think like that, you will lose motivation to live your daily life. Instead, take action while correcting your unrealistic thoughts. If you do nothing, negative thoughts that will destroy you will take precedence. Doing something will distract you from that self-critical inner voice. What's more, the emotions that arise from your activities will refute the distorted emotions and prove them wrong.
Example: When Dr. Mizutani, who is famous as the "Night Patrol Teacher," received a call from a "young person who was suffering and wanted to die," the young person saw an old man working in a garbage dump outside and advised him to "go help the old man!" The young man felt fulfilled by being supported and his mental crisis was relieved.
Now, I would like to explain how to overcome nihilism.
1. Take action and treat it as a valuable experiment. Compare your state before and after the action. It is especially good to compare the burden and difficulty with the satisfaction and happiness. Even if it is a small thing (e.g. cleaning the toilet, sending a letter, going for a walk in the park), verify that making a decision and taking action on your own can bring about a surprisingly good feeling. It is also a good idea to apply the column method and express it in numbers.
2. If you notice a bad thought that is preventing you from taking action, it is a good idea to argue against it. This is almost the same method as the ``triple column'' and ``column method'' already mentioned.
3. First, try to get started on it for five minutes. This will create ``task excitement'' and make it easier to get motivated. Actions have a surprisingly large effect on human emotions. One example is when a man famous for picking up girls in Europe once kept teasing a woman who had a reputation for being ugly, and after she kept turning him down, he actually fell in love with her. (I don't like his personality) First, try to take action, even if it's something small.
4. What good things will come from taking action? It's also effective to try to think of as many good things as possible and list them as many as possible.
5. If you have a habit of saying "But, but, it's not going to happen anyway," try to argue against it. Keep arguing positively (with realism) against your own negative "but" thoughts.
6. If you feel you lack confidence, write down self-deprecating words and argue against them rationally. You should notice that you tend to think "all or nothing" and "labeling" in most of your thoughts.
(Example: I'm a "useless amateur" who can't use cognitive behavioral therapy!)
→It's true that cognitive therapy requires effort and work. It's tough and troublesome. But the consultant assured me that the effects should be worth it. I guess it's the same with anything: if you keep doing it, you'll get better at it...Come to think of it, I've been taking less stomach medicine lately! )
7. If you want to achieve great things and success, but can't put them into action, break it down into small steps and work steadily, little by little. For example, if you want to flirt with a girl on the street and make her your girlfriend, first look her in the eye, then bow slightly while looking her in the eye, then say hello after bowing, and so on. The important thing is to set a deadline for each small step.
8. If someone tells you something that sounds right and you lose motivation, tell them that you will make a decision and choose to do it yourself, and then do it. For example, say your mother tells you to do your homework. It's right, but it's hard to follow her advice. It's because you feel like you're being pushed around. So tell the other person, "I was thinking about doing that too, so I'm going to do it," and express that it's your choice, not just being pushed around. You will feel a refreshing sense of confidence rising within you.
9. If you just can't imagine yourself doing well, it's also effective to improve your image. First, make a list of the good points when things went well, and then use relaxed breathing techniques (e.g., inhale for 3 seconds and exhale slowly for 7 to 8 seconds) to release tension, and then imagine yourself doing well. This is effective for quitting smoking, abstaining from alcohol, and dieting to get rid of morbid obesity.
10. If you find yourself believing that you can't do anything on your own, use the counting function on your smartphone or other device to count the things you did independently, no matter how small (e.g., the next time you go to a family restaurant with your family, you'll order what you like without conforming to your family, of course). If you use your own consciousness to act in small ways, you will gradually feel the number of counts and your confidence increase.
11. You are extremely afraid of failure. Think back to the process by which people learn to run. Before you could walk, did you suddenly sprint 100 meters one day? Did you start by crawling, and repeatedly fall over when trying to stand up? Isn't that natural and realistic? Why do you, a human being, fear failure, which happens to everyone, and try to be perfect?
I have suggested various methods. Be careful not to get intimidated and lose motivation by thinking, "There's no way I can do all of this!" What is the name of the idea that you have to do everything properly? (It's the root of all evil.)
You can start with what you find easy and what you are interested in. You don't have to do the content you choose perfectly every time. If you can do more than 70%, that's great. Even 50% is not bad. Don't be obsessed with perfectionism, but do your best at the moment and keep going. My best has nothing to do with impossible. It's an attitude of trying your best as hard as you can today.
[Summary]
"I don't want to do anything. I'm no good like this... I'm already alone... I can't do anything..." Feelings like this are called nihilism. There were 13 psychological states that make you prone to nihilism. By looking at these, you can deepen your understanding of your own feelings and state and think, "I see, it seems like this applies to me right now."
After that, you choose a method from the "11 ways to overcome nihilism" that seems easiest for you and try it out.
*In other words, in technical terms, "practicing the 11 ways to overcome nihilism" is what we call behavioral therapy
.
お気に入りの記事を「いいね！」で応援しよう
[Cognitive behavioral therapy] カテゴリの最新記事
-
Let's live !! Chapter15 2025.03.04
-
Overcoming perfectionism Chapter14 2025.03.04
-
The results of work or study are not th… 2025.03.04
【毎日開催】
15記事にいいね！で1ポイント
© Rakuten Group, Inc.
