Tragedy of the Spirit Part 39 Faithfully Yours

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This is a story of found love and acceptance by two people, whom by a small miracle meet and eventually fall in love. The trials and tribulations of both are intriguing, sometimes often painful. We reach a higher plain in life and hopefully find truth, love, and acceptance, and finally faith. The question is can we find that faith within ourselves? If so, will that faith be faithfully yours? I decided to write this tale due to my favorite song by my favorite group "Journey."

In some ways, it mirrors parts of my life up to now. As I rest in the hospital with not a lot to do, I remember hearing this song and eventually buy the album with this song on it. The song is called "Faithfully". I wore the album out and eventually bought the greatest hits album with this song on it.

As I lay here, I am listening to this song in the hope that I will gain some Faith and make it through this struggle. Here is the story, please enjoy.

Thanks very much

FAITHFULLY BY JOURNEY

HIGHWAY RUN

INTO THE MIDNIGHT SUN

WHEELS GO ROUND AND ROUND

YOUR ON MY MIND

RESTLESS HEARTS

SLEEP ALONE TONIGHT

SENDIN’ ALL MY LOVE

ALONG THE WIRE

THEY SAY THAT THE ROAD

AIN’T NO PLACE TO START A FAMILY

RIGHT DOWN THE LINE

IT’S BEEN YOU AND ME

AND LOVIN’ A MUSIC MAN

AIN’T ALWAYS WHAT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE

OH GIRL YOU STAND BY ME

I’M FOREVER YOURS FAITHFULLY

CIRCUS LIFE

UNDER THE BIG TOP WORLD

WE ALL NEED CLOWNS

TO MAKE US SMILE

THROUGH SPACE AND TIME

ALWAYS ANOTHER SHOW

WONDERING WHERE I AM

LOST WITHOUT YOU

AND BEING APART AIN’T EASY ON

THIS LOVE AFFAIR

TWO STRANGERS LEARN TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN

I GET THE JOY

OF REDISCOVERING YOU

OH GIRL, YOU STAND BY ME

I’M FOREVER YOURS ------FAITHFULLY

OH OH OH OH ------

FAITHFULLY, I’M STILL YOURS

I’M FOREVER YOURS

EVER YOURS ---- FAITHFULLY

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First, let me introduce myself, my name was Dale. I was a scrawny kid, I stood 5foot' 6inches and at a paltry 140 lb. I was pounded upon by everyone who took a dislike to me. I grew up in a modest home. Both of my parents worked a lot, I had no siblings. In fact, it was kind of nice not having to share everything. I really enjoyed my first 11 years.

I have a small group of friends, mainly skinny kids like me. We were the "Geeks," and not very popular. My best friends name is Paul, He was 5foot’11inches, and 3 years older than me. He was the athlete in his family which contained 2 additional sisters; Candice[13], and Denise[12]. They were both very beautiful young girls that broke any boys' hearts wherever they went. Denise was not that close, but close enough.

One particular Saturday while out at the local park, I was tackled and eventually knocked out by the class bully, Clarence, he was built like a small tank. I eventually awoke in the hospital. Both of my arms were broken, six of my ribs, and a concussion too. After 7 days, I learned the devastating new that I lost my genitals. Apparently, Clarence had a switchblade. He chose to cut me and did so with devastating results. My parents were livid when they found out. They wanted to press charges, and were granted. Clarence was sentenced to 5 years in a youth detention facility.

Eventually, I left the hospital after 9 weeks; little did I know how much my life would change. I became despondent, and suicidal, and my friends deserted me. My father more or less alienated me, and I could hear my parents argue over the "freak." Paul, Denise, and Candace also went their separate ways. This was soon to change. As I grew older, and accepted who I was, I was soon to be reunited with Paul in a most unique way.

7 Years Later

After 3 years of agonizing revelations as to why my body was developing as a female due to H.R.T. What also contributed to all of the tension that I was under in my household was that I blamed myself for all of the strife that took place there. I had started my 10th year of high school, as a girl none the less. I was home-schooled for my grade 9 year, that in and of itself was a nightmare too.

It was in the middle of English that I rose up from my desk and walked out of that school, never to be seen again by those who only knew the lonely looking chick in the back row. A Police Report was filed and a search for me was begun to no avail. After 18 months, the search was called off, and I was listed as a missing child, and unsolved. I never did find out what happened with my parents, that was not my concern. My new life began that day when I walked out of school without an explanation.

You ask me what I was doing? Or where I was? I will tell you, I was hiding in plain sight of everyone. I was also doing things to survive, I became a street person. I of course had a pimp and I was abused nightly by him and by my "johns". I was still considered by many to be a half female/half male. Sure I had no genitals, but I could still go to the bathroom. However, I still had that dangly penis neatly tucked up inside of me. I still had a long way to go before I could become whole.

The chance meeting that would forever change my life happened on Tuesday while I was at the mall. I saw the gorgeous looking boy, He was well built, and short haired. And for the life of me, I could not remember if I had ever known the boy. I was walking past him to the local music shop to pick up a few albums and hopefully the one that I wanted. You see, I had a musical taste, not the singing or the playing kind. I simply enjoyed music and losing myself in the songs.

I had waited for months to finally get my hands on "Journey's Frontier" album; I had a small record player where I was staying at. Music was my escape from my pain. I fell in love instantly with the group "Journey". Their music resonated within me. I guess that you could say that their music enlightened and engulfed me with happiness that I so desperately needed. One particular song which became my all time favorite, and is still me favorite to this day is "Faithfully." The way that I interpret the song is that Life is a long road, and eventually, in time, one can find their true love and start a family.

I sang the song very religiously in my mind, and in doing so, I actually drove those around me crazy. Fate would eventually decide to intervene several weeks later when I saw the very same boy in the mall once again, and we literally bumped into each other. I lost all of my parcels, and the usual apologies were exchanged between us. We were held captive by each others starry-eyed looks we were giving the other.

He introduced himself as Paul; I was so stunned by his eyes that I had to make up a name very quickly. I was uncertain about my name; could I actually use my name of Dale? No, I decided to tell him that my name was Calliegh. I knew that I was in love with him the moment that I saw him, and I think that he knew it too. He invited me to share a cup of coffee with him and I accepted. We talked about families, music, siblings and etc. Now, how could I say, "Hi, I am your friend Dale, and I am in love with you, will you accept me?"

I simply couldn't, so I gave him the bare facts of my life. There were of course questions that he had to ask, and I avoided most of them with a simple "No comment." We also talked about where we worked, and I told him that I was in "Customer Service," he was a store clerk and working to become an "Assistant Manager." Our musical tastes were similar too, we both enjoy: rock, jazz, blues and a few of the classical composers. He told me that his favorite band is "Earth, Wind, And Fire," I told him that my favorite is "Journey." He seemed to be interested in my musical taste, and I told him the reasons behind my favorite song by "Journey." He nodded his head, and we parted company after we had exchanged phone numbers. I unfortunately was still under the control of my pimp, so when I convinced Peter [my pimp] that he was a regular customer, he let it go.

Several weeks and meetings passed by, and we eventually began a relationship. I was still a little bit leery of this and what he might say or do to me if he discovered my well kept secret. We would kiss and hug,but we never went any further than that. But I so wanted to tell him, however, I could not bear the pain of telling him. I in time, left Peter my pimp after the pain grew to be too much, my income to him dropped off. I set off on my own once again. I needed work and I needed it very soon or I would be unfortunately forced back into the life of prostitution that I had just left behind me.

"Life sure sucks" I told Paul when we met once again several days later. I needed to work, and my current employer had let me go. He had engaged me in the type of skills that I had told him that I was capable of doing; Customer service, money management, but there wasn't anything else that I could tell him unless I told him about my "bedroom' skills which I didn't want to do. I also told Paul that I had no place to stay as well, but that he was not to worry because I would find me an apartment shortly. I still held on to my hopes and dreams and faith like my song that I sang constantly, and then we parted company.

I struggled and I eventually landed a job where my limited skills would be most useful. You have to keep in mind that I only had a 9th grade education, because of that, there was not very much for me in the work place to do. I worked in a call center answering calls and placing orders as well as a bit of troubleshooting some of the minor problems with the orders. Paul and I continued to date and eventually, that had to end as he moved away in order to attend a more prestigious opportunity elsewhere. I mean, sure we tried to do the long distant relationship bit, however it simply never amounted to all that much. So much for the opportunity to find faith in a relationship so many miles away. So I kept a positive outlook on this as I hoped that we would cross paths once again.

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Chapter 2
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Hello, my name is Paul Anderson Coleman. I have two sisters and a best friend named Dale Anthony Waters. Me, I had a normal start in life, I grew up to be the typical strong male, but I was also very accepting of those around me. But unfortunately, after I had heard about what that Clarence had done to my friend Dale, things shifted for me all of a sudden. I became very confused about how I felt about Dale and withdrew from him/her. Could I still be friends with Dale now that he was a girl? Would I be labeled a faggot, queer, or gay because of my being with Dale now? Ii is really sad in a way, because I could never ever fully understand Dale's pain and confusion that he went through after the assault.

I never did see all that much of him after that fateful day, then I heard that he had actually had the strength to walk away from school and ran away from home. His parents treated him like a pariah, and from that day, never treated him as a son or daughter. Oh, there was a search that wasconducted, but as soon as they could, his parents sold his stuff and turned his bedroom into a sewing room for his mother. But what's really disgusting is that they did it in the first week of the search!!

During this time, I chose to concentrate my energies upon my life and academics. But my two sisters took the news of Dale's assault quite differently than I did. Denise became despondent and withdrawn, but hr anger would manifest at times towards me. Candace, however on the other hand seemed to have accepted the assault as just a passing thing, and didn't get all that worked up about it.

"What is to be is to be." she would constantly say. Well, that drove me and my family crazy!! I never knew what happened to him, but somehow my heart knew that he would be found by me someday in the future. And I most assuredly wanted to know more about her than I knew. She was adept at avoiding answering any personnel questions when asked. I can't help but to think that she was extremely shy, either that or she was not sure about what to say to me and as a result was stumped to provide me an answer. I did know that she used to work in customer service, but that she was let go recently.

We had a lot in common in our taste in music. Yes, I admit that I loved the "Motown Sound", and the early rock of the '70's, and even some of the "Big Band Era". Well, he loved virtually everything! She really loved that band "Journey”, I had never heard of them before I met her. However, she seemed to know them and she kept on singing or whistling her favorite song" Faithfully". Well anyhow, she loved music as much as I did, and we shared other interests as well.

I was shocked when she wanted to end the relationship due to the great distance that we had between us thanks to me moving away to attend college at the time. I have to admit that she was the right woman for me; however, I was not all that sure that the distance was a good thing for both of us. Unfortunately, I never saw her again after that last day with her and always wondered if we would ever meet again. In a sense, I felt that she had a career, and I had mine as an assistant manager. Life can throw you some curves, and mine was sure to come, I just never knew when, however, when it did, it hit me square between the eyes.

As the times were and their lives moved seemingly far apart, Both Paul and Calliegh would indeed meet in time, and once again, their undying love for one another would unite them in completion.

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Chapter 3
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Calliegh's Version

I awoke on a Tuesday for my usually oh-so-boring shift at the call center, I once again wondered about my best friend Paul. But this particular Tuesday was unusual for two distinct reasons: 1. I was pretty confidant that I would no doubt hear from him somehow; the second reason was that day would change me forever. Reason 1; I was scheduled to work a particularly long shift of 10 hours instead of the usual 8, the most yet for a newbie. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't care that I was working overtime; money was extremely tight for me at the time. You see, even though I lived relatively cheaply, getting by on cheap meals from fast food restaurants or some fruit from the store. I'd eat only once a day and even skipped a meal. I was still weighed 140 lb, maybe even less.

As 3P.M. approached with the day dragging by, my stray thoughts once again centered upon the "Wonder of Paul" and what he might be doing with particular vigor. I received a tap on my shoulder while I was in the midst of a rather lengthy call, only having 10 seconds to think about my Paul. I was asked to go to the office for some unknown reason.

I began to wonder why I was being summoned; my erratic thoughts were zipping along at warp speed in my head, what in the world could be wrong? Was I finally located by my parents after all of this time? Was I now out of a job again? These were but a few of the millions of agonizing questions that flooded my poor brain with no concrete answers to my questions.

So, I returned to my happy place by humming "Faithfully" by "Journey" once again to myself. As I entered, I saw the back of this guy who was dressed in a business man fashion.

"Oh God, I am fired for sure now! Sheesh!! I will have to find me a new place to live and a new job." Then he turned around and my heart went all a flutter with joy and happiness, for standing in front of me, big as life was Paul, "MY" dear sweet Paul.

Somehow, he had tracked me down, I have absolutely no idea how he did it because I had been careful in not leaving a paper trail. Well, I was shocked and overwhelmed. I could only stutter as I asked why and what he was doing in the office. He smiled smugly; he looked sharp and dapper even. I tried to think of words to describe how he looked, but my 9th grade education was sorely lacking in that area.

"Hello Calliegh."

"Hello Paul. What are you doing here in this office?"

"My dear Calliegh, I have come all this way for you. After I had found out who you really are, after I had put all of the evidence together after I returned home and talked to a few people that had seen me on the streets. They weren't exactly sure whether you were a girl or not. I have to apologize, because in order to see you in here, I told your boss that you were my best friend Dale from back home. I will see you after work."

Needless to say, I was totally stunned. I thought that I was finished, but instead it was a most pleasant surprise rather than bad news.

Paul's Version

I had returned home and I ran into some people of whom actually knew both Dale and me when we were much younger. I'm not sure, but I think that Dale's parents had finally given up looking for him. In fact, everyone did. But then, it had been several years since he up and left.

I woke up after talking with a guy named Jerry the night before at the basketball game. He told me, "There is this gorgeous woman that was my regular weekend fling, but now she was no where to be found.""What did she look like?'

"She had honey blond hair that fell in waves down to her shoulders, her eyes were a vivid green that sparkled with an inner light, and she had long, sexy legs that didn't need any pantyhose, but when she wore them, only added shading to already perfect legs."

'Could he be talking about my Calliegh? NO WAY !!' I thought. So, I questioned him for some 30 minutes and I guess that then it clicked in my head that he could be talking about my best friend Dale, but surely not my Calliegh. She was gorgeous, no way could Dale be her, or could it be? Then I wandered back to our chats and her evasiveness to many questions that I had asked her. NAW!! IT COULDN'T BE!!!

Well, I did even more digging to discover the truth and asked a lot more questions and just of Jerry either. I asked other men who had experiences similar to Jerry's about this beautiful woman that had so captivated them.Now that brings me up to where I am actually sitting across from her now in the office looking at my still gorgeous, beautiful Calliegh. "MY GOD!! WHY DID WE EVER END UP SPLITTING APART??!!" I asked myself. "Was she having similar thoughts herself about me?"

Me, I am proud to say that I have none of those hang ups that other guys have when it comes to the pre-ops or circumstances that those like my best friend Dale [now my Calliegh] could not control nor any other trans-gendered people. All that I knew was that I was in love with this girl who was at one time a guy and my best friend in the entire world who had suffered a lot was my true love.

As time went on, our relationship grew and grew stronger as we grew even closer. Calliegh was finally able to open her tender heart to me which I shall always cherish. She is MY LADY and I am her KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR forever and always to the end of time.

Calliegh's View

Yes, Paul and I grew even closer as we bonded and learned more about the other. We are now completely whole in Spirit. As it is written; God has made us one flesh, what God has put together, let no one tear asunder.Paul and I have been engaged for seven and a half months as of this coming Saturday. I've never contacted my parents to put them through Hell. I have instead chosen to leave things as is and let them live with the Hell of never knowing if I'm alive. I do this because of the way that they acted after I ran away. They were never good parents after the attack and my running away has cost them heartache as my uncles’ ands aunts have disowned them.

My Paul has assured me that he would never say a word to anyone. However, I do believe that his sister Denise knows the truth, but she has yet to say anything about it to anyone, and her sister I believe knows about me as well, but could care less.

Paul's parents are very pleased that we are getting married, and his Mom and I have grown close. I know that Paul and I love each other and our song is of course "Faithfully" by "Journey." That song shall be played at our wedding in two and a half months on the day that Paul declared his Love for me in the office. That song is more special to me than even Paul realizes. I now leave you with the lyrics to my favorite song:

FAITHFULLY
HIGHWAY RUN
INTO THE MIDNIGHT SUN
WHEELS GO ROUND AND ROUND
YOU’RE ON MY MIND
RESTLESS
HEARTS
SLEEP ALONE TONIGHT
SENDIN’ ALL MY LOVE
ALONG THE WIRE
THEY SAY THAT THE ROAD
AIN’T NO PLACE TO START A FAMILY
RIGHT DOWN THE LINE
IT’S BEEN YOU AND ME
AND LOVIN’ A MUSIC MAN
AIN’T ALWAYS WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE
OH GIRL YOU STAND BY ME
I’M FOREVER YOURS ----- FAITHFULLY
CIRCUS LIFE
UNDER THE BIG TOP WORLD
WE ALL NEED THE CLOWNS
TO MAKE US SMILE
THROUGH SPACE AND TIME
ALWAYS ANOTHER SHOW
WONDERING WHERE I AM
LOST WITHOUT YOU
AND BEING APART
AIN’T EASY ON THIS LOVE AFFAIR
TWO STRANGERS LEARN TO FALL
IN LOVE AGAIN
I GET THE JOY
OF REDISCOVERING YOU
OH GIRL, YOU STAND BY ME
I’M FOREVER YOURS-----FAITHFULLY
OH, OH OH ,OH-----
FAITHFULLY I AM STILL YOURS
I’M FOREVER YOURS
EVER YOURS------ FAITHFULLY

Dear readers, Life has many a winding roads and many turns within those roads, you make whatever you can out of Life.

However, you realize that in time that Life is always a Joy as is the Love that you may choose to share with one another around you. You can make each day count and never be without those that you Love within your Heart. Then you may rediscover special things about you and your loved ones in a totally new and wonderful light. Your friends will wonder where you may be from time to time. Remind them to keep Life and Love in their hearts.

I am forever yours faithfully. God Bless. I hope that you have enjoyed reading this and my favorite song. Thanks very much for letting me share this.

Finis

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Editors Note:

When Melissa passed away, I lost a very dear friend of whom I called my sister. What is amazing to me is that even though she had been abused by her step-father, step-brother, and forcibly turned feminized before she ran away and was continually abused by other men and almost killed by Jason, she came to trust me.

Later, Melanie and I conferred on editing Melissa's last stories. For me, editing this story was a joy. For I was once again seeing the beautiful soul that was Melissa's. In this story, I believe that she has given us a glimpse into the Life that she wished that she had lived.

Yes, Melissa found the Faith; she is now a shining star in Heaven. I know because in her last chapter of "Tragedy Of The Spirit," she had overcome and found peace. Thank you Melissa for your friendship and your story. Thank you Melanie for letting me edit Melissa's last few stories.
Stanman63
Please, has you read it, be thankful that Melissa gave us her story to cherish. Stanman63