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2025.03.04

Let's live !! Chapter15

カテゴリ： Cognitive behavioral therapy

Comedian Takayuki Haranishi (FUJIWARA) has a gag called "I want to live!". It is a gag in which he declares "I want to live!" with great determination. Let's digress and explain about the final victory of "choosing to live".

The desire to "die" is a common symptom in people with severe depression. In fact, in recent years, more than 20,000 people in Japan have chosen suicide each year.

But! We don't need to commit suicide. If you use cognitive behavioral therapy, your symptoms will definitely improve. In particular, within the first few weeks of treatment, you will often see positive changes in your daily life. No matter how bad you feel right now, as long as you have the conviction that things will eventually get better, you can endure it. You are wrong to think that suicide is the only way to solve your problems!

If you really want to die, first look at your true feelings and see if it is for "active" or "passive" reasons.

First, I will give an example of a passive reason. You lie in bed thinking negatively, "I wish God would just let me die peacefully."

However, if it is active, it is quite dangerous. If you think, "I'm completely hopeless, and I'm never going to get better. I have no choice but to kill myself!", remember this. Feelings of hopelessness are just an emergency bell that tells you to get adequate treatment!

In fact, depression is a kind of "defense response" that humans (living things) respond to when they feel a threat to their life. In the first place, it is a reaction that says, "To live safely! This is not good!"

1. You have a severe depression and a sense of hopelessness.

2. You have attempted suicide before.

3. You have prepared a detailed plan for suicide.

4. You don't see any way to stop yourself.

If any of these points apply to you, be sure to get professional help.

What almost all suicidal patients have in common is an illogical sense of hopelessness and the belief that they are facing a major crisis that cannot be solved. However, once you confess your distorted thinking to someone else, such as a professional, you will feel a great sense of mental relief. This will give you hope for life and will divert you from dangerous suicide attempts.

It is true that the illness of depression narrows the scope of your thinking. However, your narrow range of experience also narrows your thinking in some ways. It can be said that challenges (diverse experiences) broaden that scope.

Now let me confess some of my upbringing. I was raised by people with very biased ways of thinking. Also, people close to me had mental problems. I didn't have any problems with food, but I was "poor in spirit" and felt very unhappy.

Eventually, I realized that the person who could save and help me the most was myself. In my case, the books and teachings of psychologists such as Yasutaka Kokubu gave me hints. And little by little, I was reborn into a person who could deal with problems on my own.

1. Cycle from Tokyo to Kagoshima.

2. Try different jobs.

3. Confess to the person I like, even if it's a long shot.

4. Try leaving the family home.

5. Try changing the friends I hang out with.

6. Look deeply into myself through self-analysis, etc.

7. Try imitating various people I respect.

8. In about 50 pharmacies, deliberately assert myself by saying, "I love sex. Can you recommend some extra-thin condoms?" (CBT shame therapy)

9. I went around singing loudly and a cappella in front of a dozen train stations. (This is also a form of shame therapy in CBT.)

10. I thought that my confession would fail because I had no experience with women! So I lost my virginity to a prostitute.

11. I worked hard to get a qualification and used it in my work and volunteer work.

To be honest, I have tried so many things that I can't even write them all down. I thought that I had to do this to change the way I was raised, which had been so distorted.

One day, I confronted my father and asked him, "Why didn't you educate me as a father?!" He replied, "That's something you learn at university!" That's the kind of house I grew up in. So I chose to raise myself by learning from people other than my parents.

When I remembered this episode when I was young, I felt a little sad. But now I feel nostalgic and laugh when I think back on it. And I confess. I have no despair or suicidal thoughts at all. I used to be a person who, although weak, had suicidal thoughts and had negative automatic thoughts.

Certainly, cognitive behavioral therapy can improve your life. However, I want to convey that people can greatly change themselves through life experiences (actions). This can often greatly modify your automatic thoughts. For people who are not good at or dislike thinking, it may be better to broaden the scope of their experiences rather than cognitive therapy.

[Summary]

You don't have to die at all. And you will eventually find your own happiness. In that case, support from a professional can be very helpful. Also, practicing cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective. Furthermore, gaining diverse experiences and broadening your horizons is also an effective method. There is a very high possibility that there are multiple methods that suit you. You and I are both developing. Let's continue to grow and be happy together.

[Afterword]

This is the last of the 15-part series. These articles are written for people who find English easier to understand than Japanese. Cognitive behavioral therapy has the advantage that it can be used free of charge, even by those with limited financial means. It can be done at your own pace. If you are experiencing psychological distress, I would be happy if you would try it.

This series would not have been possible without the presence of David D. Burns, the author of "Goodbye to Bad Moods. " I would like to express my sincere gratitude to him. I would also not have been able to create this series without learning from everyone, including Yasutaka Kokubu. I would like to express my gratitude to all the people who raised me. 

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