The Death of My Mother

by Tadami Yamada

After three and half years struggle against a disease
my mother rested at 10 a.m., 30th march, 2012
at the age of ninety two and nine months

The stream of time goes swift
It's been seven days since the day

The 28th, early morning, her physical condition
suddenly changed in bad

who hurried to my house, and escaped a crisis

The next day, the 29th, it was going on
the schedule for nursing with me

7:40 a.m.
Temperature was 36.9℃
Blood pressure and Pulse; (the first)124 over 67. 82/m.,
(the second)124 over 69. 78/m., (the third)122 over 68. 83/m.,

8:20 a.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube

10:25 a.m.

in to her nose through a plastic tube

11:40 a.m.
The family doctor came my house for treatment
Temperature was 37.1℃
Blood pressure was 112 over 76

ST Oxygen was 99% (by Oxygen inhaler 3.5l/h)

0:00 p.m.
Changed the liquid for IVH
(a intravenous drip injection from her neck)

2:10 p.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube

8:00 p.m.
Absorbed phlegm

8:30 p.m.
Injected the prescription nutrient liquid 100ml and
water 100ml in to her nose through a plastic tube

9:45 p.m.
Injected several mixed medicines and water 60ml
in to her nose through a plastic tube

10:40 p.m.
Her right thumb fell into a fit of convulsions.
Instantly, I call the doctor, and then absorbed phlegm.
Temperature was 35.8℃
Blood pressure was 124 over 63
Pulse was 91/m

11:16 p.m.
The family doctor arrived.
Temperature was 36.1℃
Blood pressure was 146 over 73
Pulse was 92/m
ST Oxygen was 99% (by Oxygen inhaler 4l/h)

11:45 p.m.
The doctor absorbed phlegm,
but secretions and urine were very small.
The doctor said that the inside mouth
and the tracheas dry up, and injected her medicines.
Taking the medicine alleviated her conditions.
Pulse was 99/m
ST Oxygen was 100% (by Oxygen inhaler 4l/h)

30th March
0:05 a.m.
The doctor went back to his home.

0:10 a.m.
Amount of urine a day were 600ml.
Amount of waste fluid a day were 75ml.
(Amount of all ingested water of the day were 1,750ml)

0:15 a.m.
Following the doctor's instruction
injected 150ml water for athlete

After that, I checked the diary of nursing
and began to prepare my bed for a nap
beside my mother's ill bed
And I happened to look back to her

She seemed to stop breathing.
Instantly I listened the sound of her lungs
Never!
I listened the sound of her heart
Never!

I pushed her heart, pushed, pushed-----
I call the doctor, "her heart stopped, now" said,
back to her, pushed her heart again and again
Her heart was stopping, never moved
Never!

The doctor arrived,
and he pushed her heart in place of me
Never alive
I call my younger brothers,
said that our mother died now

"At 1:25 a.m., she died of decrepitude "
said the doctor, "I regret her death"
"I greatly appreciate your kindness" I said.

He call the trained nurse of my family,
And he took off several tubes from the body.
I purified her body.

About 2:00 a.m., The nurse arrived.
The doctor, the nurse and I changed her clothes
for her last journey.

I'm undecided about what to put on her for a while.
My mother always dressed Japanese traditional clothes "kimono"
So I took dozens of "kimono" from her double chest of drawers
disregarding the doctor and the nurse's astonishment

A set of "kimono" which I decided was-----
an exclusive pongee which was woven of
black, deep green and golden silk threads
with a complicated pattern of bamboo hedges, and
the sushi "obi" which was woven of silver pink and golden silk threads
like the sky of spring's dawn in which a golden cloud threads its way,
and a crested half coat "haori" was black figured satin
which was embroidered the family crest and figures of bamboo leaves in gold,
and Japanese-style socks "tabi" in white.

2:30 a.m.
My mother changed her appearance for her last journey,
The doctor went back to the hospital to write the death certificate
The nurse went back too, leaving a few word
I call a funeral parlor to ask dry ice to bring my house

About 3:00 a.m.
My younger brother's family arrived
The funeral parlor arrived,
and made previous arrangements on funeral rites

5:00 a.m.
After my younger brother's family went back their home,
I was alone.
I brought a sketchbook from my studio,
made a sketch of the death mask of my mother

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Last updated Apr 15, 2012 05:16:32 PM
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[詩・俳句・短歌・英語俳句・英語詩] カテゴリの最新記事

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Re:Beauty Transcending~In Memory

Kathy Paysen さん

Dearest Tadami Yamada，

I once told you， as a young child， age 7 - 9， I lived in Japan. I lived with my military family in Ichiban Village.
The Japanese culture is part of my life experience. I love Japan.

I know your loss. I lost my Mom last September 29， 2011. Death is like a silk worm. I love the way you described the beautiful kimono， obi， haori， and tabi. I am sure your Mom was very beautiful. I will never forget how beautiful my Mom looked at her death.

I believe your Mom and my Mom are in heaven's tea garden， sipping tea， and smiling as we move our hearts together on planet Earth. Nothing could be more profound than the realization that death is just the beginning.

I also loved your gesture of sketching your Mother's death mask. Will you share this with the world， or is this a private memory?

My heart hurts for you this day. But my heart also rejoices for you this day. Your Mother is free ... free.

I composed a poem for you， it is from my heart. I hope it brings you gladness in your sadness.

~BEAUTY TRANSCENDING~

Water to water， light to light

A silk worm pushes， pushes

Delicate womb of silk cloud

An angel bed， God’s shroud

Above her land of rising sun

She paints her sunset of plum

Bamboo shoots from the tide

Heaven’s sea， Mother abides

Within her wings， all the stars

Her beauty， wherever you are

Water to water， light to light

Into sun， her magnificent flight

Kathy Paysen 2012

In the Spirit of one God， and the Mothers we hold so dear.

All my love，

Kathy Paysen

Dallas， Texas
(Apr 7, 2012 09:59:18 AM)

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Re[1]:Thank you， Kathy

AZURE702

Dear Kathy Paysen;

Thank you very much for your consideration as usual.

And I， too， hope you will accept my sincere condolences for the death of your mother.
You must be very regret.

I think my family need a little of time for healing at losing mother.
But my mother， and also the late my father， already had prepared for her own death.
While alive， besides she was given a posthumous Buddhist name to the deceased by the her priest， she made a stoneworker engrave her name on the family grave.

My family put beautiful flowers， many photographs， her calligraphies (as she was a calligrapher)， a bundle of papers， a pencil， her favorite japanese cakes and coffee in the casket. So she passed away.

I imagine that together with your mother and my mother are sipping tea in heaven's tea garden.

Thank you very much for your beautiful poem. It touches my heart. Thank you， thank you， Kathy.

Sincerely yours，

Tadami Yamada
(Apr 7, 2012 03:47:52 PM)

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