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オハナはうちのビーグル、ハワイ語で「家族」。B型おばさんの、アメリカはベイエリア生活でのIQの低い独り言
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2005年2月末 雪と戯れる
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一週間脂肪燃焼スープダイエットのやり方
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やり方ー英語版ー
一キロ痩せるには。。。
そしてまたやったダイエット一週間記録
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2005年3月庭でできた春の花達
デンマーク村、ソルヴェンに立ち寄る
愛について語る
この男捨てる?勇気ある?寂しくない?
生まれ変わっても一緒になりたい?
結婚の理想と現実
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BBQの定番: スモアの作り方
他のはもう食べれない、パンケーキ
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*花* 野菜畑* 果物園*
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神風スズキさん
日本映画祭 Hirokochanさん
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健康＆ダイエット … 木田ももさん
国際結婚した私 naked fishさん
日本映画祭 Hirokochanさん
Little Darling リトルDさん
健康＆ダイエット … 木田ももさん
国際結婚した私 naked fishさん
2008年09月05日
テーマ： アメリカ生活のあれこれ・・・(2064)
カテゴリ： 笑いは最高の老化防止さ!
会社で回ってきました。。
「世界で一番短いおとぎ話」
昔、ある男の人が女の子に「結婚して下さい」とプロポーズをしました。
女の子は「ノー」と答え、いつまでも幸せに暮らしました ― 買い物したり、ダンスしたり、キャンプに行ったり、マーティーニを飲み、いつも綺麗な家に住み、料理もしないで、好きな事をして、喧嘩もせず、太らず、旅行もし、沢山の恋人もいて、お金も貯めず、いつでも自分の為だけの熱いお湯がでて、映画を見て、スポーツは見ず、オシリが見えるやっかいなレースの下着も着ず、高い自尊心も持ち、泣かず、叫ばず、ジャージー着ててもかっこよく、いつも楽しく過ごしました。 おしまい。
Subject: "THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said:'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The End
ここからは英語だけだけど。。。
「Polish ポーランド人の離婚」これ最高!
Polish divorce
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
Circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real
grudge?
L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover"
子供の考える事。これも最高!
kids think quick
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
「世界で一番短いおとぎ話」
昔、ある男の人が女の子に「結婚して下さい」とプロポーズをしました。
女の子は「ノー」と答え、いつまでも幸せに暮らしました ― 買い物したり、ダンスしたり、キャンプに行ったり、マーティーニを飲み、いつも綺麗な家に住み、料理もしないで、好きな事をして、喧嘩もせず、太らず、旅行もし、沢山の恋人もいて、お金も貯めず、いつでも自分の為だけの熱いお湯がでて、映画を見て、スポーツは見ず、オシリが見えるやっかいなレースの下着も着ず、高い自尊心も持ち、泣かず、叫ばず、ジャージー着ててもかっこよく、いつも楽しく過ごしました。 おしまい。
Subject: "THE WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!"
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, 'Will you marry me?' The girl said:'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. The End
ここからは英語だけだけど。。。
「Polish ポーランド人の離婚」これ最高!
Polish divorce
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
Circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real
grudge?
L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:
"Polish Remover"
子供の考える事。これも最高!
kids think quick
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
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