　3月11日は、東日本大震災から12年目の祈念の日だった。それについて私はこのブログに何も書かなかったが、忘れていたわけではない。
　東日本現地の方々のような被災を私の家族はしなかった。が、当時、私は母を在宅看護しており、その母は身動きがとれない状態で、しかもチューブに繫がれ、室内脱窒素還元酸素発生装置にも繫がれていた。とても避難できる状態ではなかった。母は、目で私に問いかけた。いざとなったら息子の私は逃げてほしい。しかし一人置いていかれるのは恐ろしい。母の気持と感情は両極に引き裂かれていた。私は、母に覆いかぶさるようにして落下物を防ぎながら、「大丈夫、置いて逃げないよ。一緒にいるよ。心配しないで」と言った。
　・・・浴室の壁の一部が落下し、門から玄関までの敷石が隆起したり、裏のコンクリート塀に亀裂が入ったりしたが、遠くの弟一家も含めて我家に人的被害はなかった。また、各種の医療関係サーヴィスも、迅速な対応してくれた。これには感謝してもしきれないくらいだった。その後の計画停電の区域からわずかにはずれたことは、電動医療機器を使っていた母のために幸いだった。計画停電が発令されたときは、本当にゾッとした。そのために母を死なせなければならない、と思ったのである。

　そんなわけで、あの震災は決して他人事ではなく、忘れはしない。そして、その後の政府の対応の悪さ（12年後の現在も3万人を越す避難者がいる）、想像力に欠ける政治、原発関連裁判における司法判断の「悪辣さ」、この国に遙か昔から伝統的に存在する「棄民思想」に、私は暗澹たる思いを抱える。

There was an wartgquake at 6:40 this morning. I
tought, "Hey,you've come," but after just one or two
tremors, the tremors subsided. In fact, even before
dawn the day before yesterday, I felt a faint rippring
wave on my back. I was still in bed. It was a faint
tremor that I wouldn't have felt had I been active.
That's what happened to me this morning, and I
thought , "Hey, you've come."

March 11th was the 12th anniversary of the Great
East Jaoan Earthquake. I didn't write anything about
it on this blog, but I haven't forgotten.
My family did not suffer the same damage as the
local people in eastern Japan. However, at that time,
I was nursing my mother at home, and my mother
was in a state of being unable to move, and was
connected to a tube and an indoor denitrifying
reduction oxygen generator.She was in no evacuate.
My mother asked me qith her eyes. In case of emer-
gency, she want me to run away. But geing left
alone is scary. My mother's feelings were torn apart.
I leaned over my mother to keep her from falling
objects and said, "Don't worry, I won't leave you
behind. I'll be with you. Don't worry."
... A part of the wall of the batheroom fell down,
the paving stones from the gate to the entrance
were uplifted, and the concrete wall behind the
house cracked. There was no other damage. In
addition, various medical-related services
responded quickly. I couldn't thank them enough
for this. Luckily for my mother, who used electri-
cal medical equioment, we were just outside the
area of the rolling blackout that followed. I was
really horrified when the rolling blackout was
announced. I thought I had to let my mother die
for that.

That's why I will never forget that disaster.
And the poor response of the government after
that (even now, 12 years kater, there are still
over 30,000 evacuees), the politics lacking
imagination, the "vicious" judicial judgements
in the nuclear power plant-related trials, and
the long time ago in this country, I have a
gloomy feeling about the idea of abandoning
people, which has traditionally existed since
then.

Tadami Yamada

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